𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐑 ╱ 𝐺𝐼𝑅𝐿 . . . ﹗ 〞

“ a lot of folks need to find better hobbies than watching other folks. “

“ i dunno what’s happening, but i feel real spooky. or maybe gassy… but i think it’s spooky. “

“ let me know if you ever write a guide to getting the most out of a day, because i want to read it! “

“ i’m trying to be personable, but i get the feeling that people just think i’m annoying. “

“ i just don’t know how to talk to folks anymore… “

“ i just heard a rumor going around. really none of my business. “

“ i thought it was awesome, and i think you’re awesome—so it seemed like the perfect symbol of buddyship! “

“ what is wrong with you?! i am NOT in the mood for this today! “

“ that. is the sweetest. thing. ANYONE. has ever said to me! “

“ when i first saw you i said, ‘i… don’t know that person.’ “

“ i just got nervous thinking about you out there… digging… and what you might find… “

“ dunno where you get the energy for all your shenanigans, ____. “

“ sure, i dig around in garbage sometimes, but who doesn’t? “

“ uh, you weren’t meant to see that… i’ve been meaning to get rid of it. “

“ i do enjoy hosting at my house, i must say. it’s such a relaxing way to get to know someone! “

“ i’ve never worn shoes in my life. but if i did, i’d want fabulous fat foot fashion for sure. “

“ wait until everyone sees what you sold to me, ____! “

“ it’s always a treat, just getting to talk with you! “

“ i always figure that if you can get to wednesday, the rest of the week is easy. “

“ i’m struggling to come up with a last-minute dinner plan… “

“ hey, what’re you staring at? i know i ain’t the best housekeeper, but… “

“ to be totes honest? this is the time of day when i get the sleepiest! “

“ the best part of taking a nap in a tree is how the tree puts you on the ground just before you wake up! “

“ welcome to the ‘chill zone.’ it’s where i hang out and, well, chill. “

“ i’ve only got enough nautical puns to last a couple of hours… “

“ nothin’ to do now but pace back and forth for the next few hours. “

“ i am a dancer and this is my canvas! …what do you mean ‘dancers don’t use canvas’? i’m a dancer-painter! “

“ i’m not allowed to look at the sun! not since… ‘the incident.’ “

“ i love all the amazing discoveries i make on my walks! like cute flowers! and places to hide… “

“ sorry about the mess, but i don’t have time to clean today… “

“ man, ____, how are you so charming all the time? “

“ all i’m doing is sitting here and watching the sky… that cloud looks like a sandwich! “

“ dressing well is a form of self-care. that’s why i’m trying to get my health insurance to cover this really sharp pleather jumpsuit. “

“ i wonder if something fun will happen today?! it could! any old second! anytime now… “

“ i lost my voice. i was trying to be a heavy-metal singer. instead of a pop star… i am SO not metal. “

“ you ate my spice cake, didn’t you? i won’t be angry, just tell me the truth! “

“ the air is so much yummier when there’s lots of plants around. it’s like candy for your lungs! “

“ i’m over the moon, darling! you must let me thank you. “

“ i wanna be friends with everybody. so i wanna learn everything about everyone! “

“ do you have a skill? a thing you’re best at? mine’s unhinging my jaw to swallow my snack bags whole! “

“ i love to shop. but i buy stuff i don’t need, then i wonder why i bought it, then i see a new thing i want… “

“ i usually just eat whatever i can reach when i’m lying on the floor. deciding is hard! “

“ know what i do when i see TWO cute outfits i want, but i can only afford ONE? i buy both! it’s totally the worst choice, but i get everything i want! even if i… feel lousy about it later… hang on. i think i’m having a moment of clarity. “

“ when are you gonna stop messing around and start planning for your future, ____? “

“ yeah, i got dreams alright… i wanna start a shaved-ice stand! and be the assistant manager so i could get a great big discount! i’d probably get bad brain freeze all the time from eating so much of it, but it’s so sweet and tasty! “

“ i like to think of this whole space around here as my backyard. now don’t worry—that doesn’t mean you’re trespassing. yet. “