SENTENCE MEME ⟶ THE GOOD PLACE / 3.12 –– 3.13
always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.
“So, you’re telling me I can’t get any pancakes at this IHOP?”
“If you eat anything at this IHOP, you will literally explode.”
“I think I’m starting to catch feelings again for you.”
“I’d very much like to go on a date with you somewhere sometimes, as opposed to here, which is nowhere at all the times.”
“Don’t suck up to me, you suck up.”
“These days, just buying a tomato at the grocery store means that you are unwittingly supporting toxic pesticides, exploiting labor, contributing to global warming.”
“Humans think that they’re making one choice, but they’re actually making dozens of choices they don’t even know they’re making.”
“Your big revelation is that life is complicated?”
“You can’t judge humans because you don’t know what we go through.”
“It’s terrible everywhere and always in a different way.”
“Earth stinks. It’s hot and crowded, but somehow also cold and lonely.”
“I thought it was going to be so easy to make good decisions.”
“Which led me to a porn site that was for people with a sunburn fetish. I kind of never recovered.”
“There are plenty of awful people and thoughtless jerks, and Nazis again, somehow.”
“There are people who are trying really hard to be good.”
“Can somebody grab my tiny boyfriend please?”
“I just saw a trillion different realities folding into each other like thin sheets of metal, forming a single blade.”
“He’s kind of my rebound booty call.”
“I almost have a full-grown penis now. It’s resplendent and mostly functional.”
“We can chill out and just relax, study philosophy, have sex.”
“Making people is exhausting.’
“Be a pal and hold my classy martini while I get down to business.”
“I think we’ve picked some excellent subjects for your stupid experiment.”
“Enjoy everything that is about to overwhelm you.”
“That’s why I can’t do it. It’s just too scary.”
“I’m just middle management!”
“Is my tie getting tighter or is my neck getting fatter somehow?”
“We have to cancel it because I have a fat neck.
“If I could pick anyone to impersonate an immortal deity, it would be me, but if it couldn’t be me, it’d be you.”
“I became such a good person I almost forgot I’m a world-class liar.”
“It’s kinda like I’m secretly dating my boss.”
“What are the odds that you and I would end up spending an eternity together?”
“This is insane and obviously against the rules.”
“What’s the thing you humans say when you’re playing chess and you trap your opponent into an inescapable position? Eat butt, you ding dongs!”
“Is this a savage insult?”
“They sent him here to drag me back into my old patterns of insecurity, and obsession with social status.”
“I look forward to putting the past behind us and becoming your friend.”
“You are so cute, it’s gross.”
“There’s a decent chance this entire thing is just a complex electrochemical reaction caused by my synapses randomly firing in the millisecond after my death.”
“I’ve always been good at pretending I’ve never met people before.”
“I think this new dynamic might actually be good.”
“You’ll be the face of the operation and I’ll be the mastermind behind the scenes.”
“I used to run into my exes all the time. At the mall, at the dentist office, when I drunk texted them and told them to come over.”
“This isn’t just about me feeling awkward around my ex.”
“Will you remember pizza?”
“You like learning humans, right? This is a classic human situation.”
“Your friends are going through something awful, and there is nothing you can do about it.”
“You don’t need to apologize for making a huge sacrifice to save your friends.”
“I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.”
“What’s the point of love if it’s just gonna disappear?”
“There has to be meaning to existence, otherwise the universe is just made of pain, and I don’t like the thought of that.”
“The more human I become, the less things make sense.”
“In all this randomness and this pandemonium, you found each other.”
“That’s very on brand for you.”
“I guess all I can do is embrace pandemonium, find happiness in the unique insanity of being here now.”
tangentwithtanner
areudirty
annaxmalina
