GOD loves you!

I Corinthians 13. Keep a record of rights. Who when why where how

Be the same Christian 1am that you are 1pm. Be consistent

If it brings you closer to Jesus, do it. If it takes you from Him, don’t

God loves me. I love Him. Let’s do something. He loves you.

Prayer. Bible Study. Worship. Love within community.

Seek 1st The Kingdom Matt 6:33. We love because He first loved.

It’s not that deep, stop stressing. I can’t take them (fools) serious.

Pigs to Sheep. We are new creations. Driving drunk child

Relationship NOT religion matters. Don’t just do for God. Do with

Don’t think of 4 won’t work. However you can think of 7

Light is the absence of darkness. People in dark can’t tell difference

8 year old at fence wishing he could play. Loving the game.

You build faith by hearing people passionately speak about Him

My Testimony. What would you do if Jesus walked into the room?

Men created to dominate things. Women created for beauty.

Left Right. Men Women. Nature Nuture. Reap Sow. Peace Joy

Philippians 4:4-8 answers everything on what to do.

Cart and Horse. The Horse is relationship. Cart is works.

What they have I can have. Never jealous and always celebrate.

Simon Peter satan. The same man called three names. Read people

Pray for everyone. If you agree with them it will make them stronger and if you disagree with them, you can see a positive change for the better. Gods loves them as much as HE loves you..... And HE does love you!

GOD calls things that are not as though they are. Because HE knows HE has the power to make anything and anyone into what HE says it is. GOD doesn't wait until you appear to be what He says you are, because HE knows what HE put down in you. AND before it's over, HE will get out of you and turn you into what HE made you to be.... something new and beautiful! Someone who Loves Him and Loves others unconditionally!

Leadership is seeing the worth and potential of people SO much that they begin to see it in themselves

I don’t know if I’ve posted anything this year. But I do want to express myself. I want to type what 2015 was like. The material things I wanted to see in my life didn’t happen. But my relationships with people grew in both quality and quantity. 

I will most likely post 10 times as much in 2016. I’m looking forward to our house church, community and bible studies to grow exceedingly. We will probably go through five to six chapters of the bible every week. We will stop after reading two chapters to see what we got. 

What about like relationships, like what if you and your significant other have different love languages does that mean your screwed

IF

and only IF

you are trying to serve yourself

Doesn't really matter what love language it is

If you are trying to serve

That mind set will lead you to discovery

But if you are only concerned with yourself and your needs being met

You never make the discovery

And you'll start keeping a record of wrongs

And that is the death of ALL relationships

Friendships, anything

But if you are looking to serve and give ONLY. you will discover and give. And the person will love it and discover with you. And give you what you need. And the cycle of life will continue

and then you start keeping a record of rights

of things they do right

And the relationship will NEVER end

hmmm.

Discovery will ONLY take place when you are trying to serve and give.

NEVER when you are trying to take and receive

This is common sense if you think about it.

Why would I discover you or search if I only care about my needs being met.

So I wrote something as soon as I got home of something I realized as I was driving... it's super raw. I literally just word vomited everything i was thinking just to get it on the page. so don't judge the technicalities... some of the thoughts are me just hashing out immediately what i felt God was showing me so it may not be totally PC. i haven't edited. it's raw, completely stream of conscious which i think is good because it put me in the place of how a girl would naturally see things before God showed it in His way.

this is it:

I think it actually just dawned on me how incredibly irrationally crazy women are. No, seriously. Women thrive in being detail-oriented. We see things for what they are. We can dissect situations, find nuances and interpretations through someone’s actions or lack thereof. We were made to be a support system, to help point the way to something greater and unveil something even more beautiful.

But here’s the kicker. Men. That’s where women completely fall flat on their faces. Plenty of women will say they aren’t influenced by men. But they’re lying. With the downfall of Adam and Eve, our awful curse is to look for our identity in men. We seek their approval and we long for an intimacy that would put fairytales to shame. One of the major problems is that, when it comes to men, we cannot look ahead. We will create an imaginary scene of the perfect home, family, husband who comes home from work and is still energetic enough to help up after dinner (or hey even cook) and then put the kids to bed and still have plenty of time to have sex and spend lots of time snuggling afterwards. Severus Snape could not have said it better than “this is a false trail.” We have this perception that our happily ever after is the goal and that really we can plug any man into the equation and get the result we want. But we’re sorely wrong.

Something that I realized in my own life is the “exception” concept. Girls will say all day “I would never date a guy who is aggressive” or “I wouldn’t even blink at a guy who didn’t have the same type of passion that I do.” (You can insert anything you want for passion—drive, goals, spiritual walk, interest in X or Y or Z, etc) But then the next day you’ll see a girl with a guy who is NOTHING like what she just described she’s looking for. You may think he’s an exception, that maybe she got past whatever she thought she wanted and he was it… and in some cases that’s definitely true. But for the large bulk of relationships and marriages, that’s not the case. There is a reason the divorce rate, even for Christians, is so high.

I’m not trying to say that a woman is settling and shame on her for being superficial. I’m actually trying to convey positive attributes that a woman would look for in a spouse. For example, if she’s an overly emotional person, she would clearly need a guy who is compassionate. Dating someone who is brutally honest will cause her to hide and internalize her feelings. It will draw her away from community and stunt her growth in her spiritual walk. And I’m not saying being brutally honest is a bad thing… I’m saying that there are attributes that mesh with others that help people bring out the best in the other person.

So what are women doing wrong? Women have this “hurry up” mentality. That their biological clock is ticking (even if she’s only in her twenties) and that she has to snag a man before all of the good ones are gone. That her entire life has been set up to getting married in order to have a husband so you’re “safe” from the horrors of still trying to find someone. But what happens if that marriage fails?

It dawned on me in the car on the way home how incredibly dangerous this mentality is. Sure, making exceptions for guys is one thing that probably should be analyzed before dating someone. Honestly you’re doing a disservice to yourself and the guy at that point. How? He’s honestly pursuing you and if you had in your head that you needed someone who could connect with you, and he’s showing signs in the beginning that it’s not quite a good fit, that’s only going to get worse. You CANNOT change a man. And honestly you shouldn’t try to. If you need someone who constantly encourages you and loves in a compassionate way, it’s only going to drive you further into darkness if you’re with someone who is naturally an analytical person. And it’s not fair to them… because they have done nothing wrong. That’s who God made them to be. And forcing emotions and connections won’t help.

Girls make exceptions because there is a fear that no one else is going to come along. There’s this internal nagging that he’s the only one who likes you and since he’s the only one who’s made a move then he’s the type of guy you’d have to settle for. Words cannot describe how much this is a LIE. Guys are fearful and may not let you know they’re interested and thus, girls take that as there’s something wrong with them and somehow this guy managed to not see it. So from the beginning, girls are convincing themselves that he’s “okay.” But do you think he wants to be your second or third choice? Would you want to be his? If you’re not being honest with yourself, why are you wasting his time when you should let someone else love him who will see him as a first choice?

Time I think is the biggest thing women struggle with. There’s this ticking time bomb where we’re anxious based on our own standards, family members poking and prying into our lives, how soon our friends are getting married… you name it. It’s a stressful world for a single girl. Because being seen as single is seen as a bad thing, rather than a beautiful time to grow in our relationship with God. And I’m not trying to be cliché. Is there any man who can measure up to Jesus? Did that man die for you? Did he give everything he had for you? Why would you break away from dancing with God to give your time to anyone else if they weren’t worthy of that time? Many times when we draw closest to God, the enemy will send the possibility of a relationship as a temptation… to pull us away by telling us we could be satisfied by knowing there could be a ring on our finger.

But here’s the crazy part… no girl honestly thinks past the wedding day when they’re wrapped up in considering dating a new guy. And by the time they do, they’re too blind to see if it’s a bad idea and it’ll either end with a broken heart or, if it goes to the greater length, divorce. It’s only about satisfying the need to not be alone anymore. To just find a man so we can get on with our lives…

I’ll be honest. I’ve thought more a potential shoe purchase over dating a guy. I will study the shoes… I’ll see if they’re in season, if the design will match my clothes at home, if they’re going to stretch and if they do if that will be a problem… I’ll try them on and walk around to see if they pinch my toes or if they’re too high. I’ll look at the quality and think about if they’re worth $40 if I should wait until they go on sale. If I’m being 100% honest… with a guy I’ll make excuses. You would NEVER get away with that in shoe shopping with me! If the salesman said “oh, sure there’s a crack in the heel, but you won’t notice if you walk more heavily on the other foot” I’d be like, “get out of here! I’m not buying that!” But how many times have I noticed that a guy has a red flag and been like “oh it’ll be different with me.” Or, if they’re a nice guy, but probably not the right fit, I’ll try to force it to work. In the shoe example in that, those shoes end up in my closet gathering dust. And those are SHOES! We’re talking about someone that you’re STUCK with for the rest of your life. Every single day that person is there. And the attraction will go. The looks will go. That person will change physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually throughout their life and it may not be the way you want them to. But in the end, if you marry that person, you’re saying that you are in for the ride and you will love and encourage them until the end. Are you ready for that?

The best thing you can do is to be patient. To pray and consider long-term if something feels right. To seek counsel with those who are wise. But most importantly, to not be afraid to say no if it’s not what you’re looking for. You’re never alone. You have God. And He’s someone who always has more than enough patience, mercy, grace, love, joy, peace, etc just for you. And if you let Him work in your life, you’ll be walking around doing life and happen to glance over at someone doing the same thing who may be someone worth joining your journey with God.

I’ve gotten a lot of one-on-one questions about this from BOTH MEN AND WOMEN and I figured it was time to write about it. Before I write another line though, it’s important that I say a few things and get some things out of the way.

A. This article is mainly for mature Christian single women. Mature. Christian. Women. Why? Because Girls might get offended or not understand but a mature Christian woman will probably get it and take the knowledge.

B. A woman’s relationship status does not define her, so being single is not a disease or an indication of something “wrong” with her. So this article is not to list a bunch of reasons why you are at fault for not being married …as if marriage was something you just bought at the store. I wouldn’t do that. I respect and care about women’s issues more than there is space to write about here. As a daughter of God, he is working out your story beautifully, so bask in that. This is however, for Christian ladies who are ready for marriage but frustrated that they can’t find the right guy even though there seems to be options.

C. I write this respectfully but I will write it as honestly as possible as a man and as someone who knows a thing or two about relationships. I’ll tell you probably like no one has told you before. So the tone may be a bit direct not because I am brash but because I am writing to Women not girls and one thing I know about women is that contrary to the opinion that they want you to beat around the bush, when it comes to things that are really important, they want you to tell them like it is. They would rather know now, shed a tear or two and start working ASAP to move out, move up, move on or move forward so they don’t waste more time doing the same thing and not getting the outcomes they want.

D. All your single girlfriends AND male friends should read this.

So here we go.  Why can’t our wonderful Christian sisters find their Boaz, David or Joseph?

1. Many Christian ladies want a man that “knows where he is going”… but God’s men usually don’t have a clue:  Think about that for a moment. Think through the Bible…all the great men that had relationships with God and who he used and blessed….they usually didn’t have a clue about where they were going and (here is the even crazier part) even if they had a clue, their lives for a long time did not reflect that great place God said he was taking them. Just think about it. All the way from Abraham …going to a land he did not know; Joseph having a dream that people would bow down to him but became a slave and then a prisoner; David who was anointed to be King and then lived the next 15 years in the wilderness as a fugitive; Peter the great fisher of men who was barely able to catch fish.

These men would have had a rough time finding a wife today. Could you imagine?

Abraham calling sister Sarah aside after church and saying “Errrmmm Sarah you know I love you right? Soooo God wants to take us somewhere …but I have no idea where. Wanna marry me and come?”

David too. “Look baby…I really care about you and want to spend the rest of my life taking care of you… In fact, I’ve just been anointed King…buuutttt I’m kinda living in the bushes right now and on the run from the King I’m supposed to replace.”

Or Joseph. “Look Jill, God has shown me many dreams that people will bow down to me and I’ll be a great leader. But right now I wash dishes in Potiphar’s house and I’m a slave boy there”

God’s men don’t “always” have a direction or know the details. So stop looking for men who have it all figured out!

Here is the solution though…..here is the good news. Here is what you SHOULD be looking for:  Men who can be LED by God. (Rom 8:14) Don’t look for a man who already has the best laid plans. Look for one who knows how to follow directions from the best planner.

2. Many ladies approach relationships from the perspective of “Low Risk, High Reward”:Meaning, they want to get the absolute best man with the least amount of risk. (And I’m not just talking about finances here)They don’t want to put themselves out there at all.

They want the man to take ALL the risks…to be utterly convinced he wants to be with them before they open up about who they really are. You know who you are…You act like YOU are the ONLY prize in the equation. He doesn’t know anything about your background but you turned into a private investigator to make sure he is good enough for you. You are financially irresponsible and an impulsive spender, you’re spending insane percentages of your income on your hair, shoes, bags, and your “package” but you want a man who knows how to make and keep money. You have not grown your faith or prayer life to where it needs to be  but you want a demon chasing, tongue speaking, Bible spitting warrior of a husband…because “he is the leader of the home”.

You’ve dated a bunch of losers that didn’t work out but he is no good because he has had several failed relationships too? You want to see him as he is but you cover yourself up in perfectly filtered Instagram pictures, hair extensions, push up bras, makeup and layers of stuff that make it impossible to see who you really are. You are lazy with not much follow-through but you want a man who can stay up all night working on a project. If he put that spotlight on you, would YOU make the cut?

In essence, many Christian ladies say they have faith but they don’t. They say that God is their source but they are lying. They say that they trust God’s will for their future but they are lying. They don’t. They put their trust in a man. What kind of job he has/can get. How much he is making or can make. They want to make sure he has the “ability to provide”. They want him to have his life utterly figured out…

But I have met many great men who haven’t found the employment they have the potential to get. I have met many others who were living it up until the economy crashed.  I have met some who had it all but God insisted they give it up to go and further the gospel.

3. Many ladies forget that good Christian men look for women who share similar non-romantic, non-spiritual values: Sure he should be romantic and sure he must share those spiritual values but eerrmmm ladies…these Christian brothers are looking for those other character traits as well that speak to the OPERATION of your possible lives together. Dependability, thriftiness, work ethic, time management, hard work, follow-through and so on.

One of the first things we learn about Ruth for example, was her work ethic. ( Ruth chapter 2). She knew how to pull her hair back, forget about her nails, roll up her sleeves and get on the grind. She worked really hard and even when she got the attention of the “well established guy with the sensitive heart” she didn’t stop working. She took the break that he offered her and went back to work.

That’s how you earn a man’s respect…when you can show him that what he HAS does not define who you are.

Here is the icing on that cake. Just because Ruth could get down and work, didn’t mean she couldn’t look pretty and tidy up (Ruth 3:3)

4. Many ladies pre-qualify their leads: This is one of the most CRITICAL reasons. In fact, there is a powerful 2 part series on just that HERE: http://ijustmetme.com/2014/05/dont-pre-qualify-your-lead/

5. Good Christian men know their worth too and don’t want to settle either: Yea ladies…men are understanding their worth a bit more too.Christian men are getting more and more comfortable attending relationship seminars and getting information about seeking God’s face for a wife. They are realizing how powerful of an impact a wife has on the outcome of their lives and ministry, and they are spending more time trying to see what is beneath the surface. They know that a woman can make or break everything. They realize that a woman’s desires can accelerate him towards purpose or derail him.

They are praying more and they are realizing that while you still remain a prize, they too are precious in God’s eyes and want to do right by him. They are realizing that a wife can make or break a man.

Yes they are praying for a Ruth but they are also praying against Delilah as well.

6. Many Christian ladies have no testimony with men: A few years ago, an older friend (a number of years older than me) came up to me after a church program and asked me about a lady in my church. Who she was and what she was like as a person.

I didn’t stop talking for minutes. They were married about a year later.

Same thing happened to Ruth. (Ruth Chapter 2 from Vs 3) Boaz came back from a trip, saw Ruth and asked his Foreman “Who is that and who does she belong to”, to which the foreman answered and gave a fantastic testimony of her character. (See Boaz’s response in Vs 11)

Here is a secret ladies, you know how you like a guy and try to keep it to yourself until your girlfriends force a confession out of you? We guys don’t do that. The moment we think we are interested in you, we are telling someone and we are asking around about you….and we are asking our MALE friends/mentors. Because we know they will tell us like it is and of course won’t spread it all around church and make things suddenly awkward or cause all the sisters to start giving the dirty eye next Sunday. Bro code.

The truth is that even Christian ladies can be toxic sometimes when it comes to how they treat men who they don’t consider a prospect. You forget that when the real prospect comes and is interested in you, he will ask other men…some who may never have approached you but who have watched you from afar, and yes some who may have had an interest in you but you didn’t like. How did you handle those situations? (You totally need to read that article link above…especially the 2nd part of that series)

7. Many Christian women want a Proverbs 31 Man: That’s not a typo. Pick up your Bible and read Proverbs 31 again with fresh eyes… from the  perspective of the character of that woman…and you will see that those qualities are the ones that many women are looking for in a man when they should be busy developing those qualities themselves.

Single Christian men are reading that passage looking for those qualities in a woman, and women are putting that passage down and instead looking for those qualities in a man.

8. Many Christian ladies want to be married but they are not truly ready to be led: They want to marry a boyfriend but not a husband. They want only a partner but not a leader. They want an emotional prenup that things will always be 50:50. They say they will concede authority to God himself but in their heart, they are not willing to be led by his representative in the home. What I am about to say next I say with the utmost respect to women.

Men were created to lead at home. Now, with that leadership comes accountability to God meaning that God holds him accountable and will punish him first for bad leadership. But a man cannot be accountable for a woman he can’t lead….and a Christian man does not want to be over anything he can’t be accountable to God about.

9. Many young married Christian women are painting a fairytale picture of marriage to their single ladies

Many young married women are doing a major disservice to single women. These young married women create a fairytale picture of weddings and marriage to their single friends. They love being the center of attention and talk up how dreamy it is. Perfect Instagram photos, perfect wedding photos, expensive glamorous weddings, perfect Facebook updates, photos and so on. Is there anything wrong with that? No. It would just help a lot more when married young women keep it real with their sisters and tell them that the wedding day does not make the marriage. It would help a whole lot more if they sit their single friends down and talk about the importance of a praying wife, a strong wife, a submissive wife (to a Godly man)  and how contrary to popular opinion, the faith of a wife is both a weapon for the family and its defense as well. Instead, they get their single sisters all dreamy eyed and waiting for a perfect story and a perfect man…waiting for KalEl from planet Krypton with the big “S” on his chest and a red cape, when they should look at Clark Kent from Planet earth.

Sisters, God has a beautiful story of love written for you. Am I saying settle? No way. But I am saying look at these men through the eyes of Christ. Get your pride out of the way. Don’t define your marital success by how well your wedding day or “lifestyle” stacks up with other women.  Most importantly, start seeing yourself as a true (not just perceived) gift from God that can bring God’s favor and blessings into your husband’s life because that’s what you are. So work to BECOME that and I truly truly wish you a love-filled, Christ centered happy marriage when it does happen.

Jonathan David and Melissa Helser

  Sean Feucht

  Jonathan and Marcel Preston- soaking music

  Will Reagan and United Pursuit

Michael Ketterer

Andrea Marie Reagan

Brock Human

  Jason Upton

  Aaron Keyes

  Anthony Skinner

  Chris McClarney

  Ascend the Hill

  Bethel Live

Brian and Jenn Johnson

Hunter Thompson

William Matthews

Matt Stinton

Steffany Frizzel-Getzinger

Jeremy Riddle

Gabriel Wilson

Amanda Cook

  Christian Lewis- IHOP Atlanta

  Dave Fitzgerald

  Edge Kingsland

  IHOP Artists/ Onething conference cd

1.Misty Edwards

Matt Gilman

Cory Asbury

Jon Thurlow

Laura Hackett

Jaye Thomas

Bryan McCleery

    Harvest Bashta

  Daniel Bashta

  Desperation Band/ New Life Worship

  Grace-Midtown

  Kari Jobe

  John Mark McMillan

  Jesus Culture

Kim Walker-Smith

Chris Quilala

Ian McIntosh

Derek Johnson

Bryan and Katie Torwalt

  Morningstar

  Nate Moore

  Planet Shakers

  Phil Wickham

  Rick Pino

  Rita Springer

  Vineyard Worship

  Rend Collective Experiment

  Hillsong Young and Free

  Tony Brown and the Lions Den

  YWAM and Circuit Riders

  Tim Hughes

  Martin Smith/Delirious?

  David Brymer

  Isla Vista Worship

Gungor

Elevation Worship

Mattie Anderson David Curran 

Reese Quehl Music

Josh Baldwin

Trinity Worship 

Hillsong 

Bellarive

Shawn McDonald 

Citipointe 

Rend Collective

The Digital Age

Tenth Ave North

Colton Dixon

[This was a conversation on Facebook I copied and pasted.]

If you want your community group to do well, just make sure you keep the "Big Four". 1. Love 2. Prayer 3. Scripture 4. Worship. Make sure every single week your group does three of these every week and you do all of them by the end of the month. Each can be broken down into more detail and sub groups. But those are what will keep any small group / community / Church going

1. Love can be just talking and listening to one another. Love can be going out on a mission trip together. Love is anything done with love together. Love doesn't love alone. We have to love others or it isn't love. 

2 Everyone needs to pray listens. It must be clear that GOD is the center. Prayer FORCES a community to show that they believe GOD is the center focus of the community. A whole night of prayer is NEVER done by fakers, atheist or baby believers. You can quickly see where your group is based on prayer.

3. Reading through the Bible is essential. Some want to worship but never want to read through scripture. Some want to read scripture and study all the time but never actually worship. We MUST do both. Reading through scripture is just as much a spiritual act as it is mental. It confirms what we believe and brings all true believers to life. 

4. Worship. Make sure that the apologetic people who love head knowledge are clear on how vitally, utterly important worship is. They get so far in the books sometimes, that they act like worship isn't important. And vice versa. I've noticed that people who worship all the time don't always read the bible or study any type of apologetics. So make sure the group does both. Worship is instrumental in spiritual warfare. Worship is also key to us releasing and letting go of all our worries and stress and giving it all to GOD who can handle those worries for us. 

I assure you, do the Big 4 and there is NO way your small group will fail.

Especially over the course of a year. The group will only grow. 

In fact... I think I should tell you this now. Make plans six months in for who will lead the split in a year because it's grown to large. Make plans for a split and remind them of the big 4. GOD provides the growth, even growing leaders. 

You do the "Big Four" individually with no one around as well as in a group setting. BOTH. You pray and listen to GOD alone AND in a big group. You worship GOD in the shower alone or in your car alone as well as in a group. You read the bible alone as well as with others. You love GOD alone as well as with others and love others in small group as well as large. Do both. Not just one. What you get, how you feel and what you receive from being alone doing these things is WAY different than what you get doing this in a group.

You really really want to spend time with GOD and know HE loves you and you get to love HIM alone and then come together with others also. And of course it's all about being in love with GOD. That's the foundation. Being filled with HIS love FIRST. 1 John 4:19. No Love for a believer that is still working in ministry = BURNOUT! Love is our fuel. A glass can only spill what it contains. NO ONE will last in ministry without love fueling the fire.

To push and finalize what I am saying. Tying it all together. GOD loves me. And I'm filled with HIS love. I then read scripture and see Jesus say astonishing things. Especially in John. Making promises. I believe those promises, and I read more, I want to see more. He promises living water rising within us and that we never die. Is this true or is Jesus a liar? I don't believe He is a liar.

So I begin to talk to Him, asking, seeking, knocking for this life, love, energy and passion He talks about, He gives it freely.

I receive it. I have more energy than I can handle and begin to worship

I sing all day long. Sing in my heart. Sing out loud. I want to do something, do anything. I can't contain it. I can't.

So I begin to talk to people around me about it.

I talk to other believers to encourage them. I then talk to non believers about how I feel.

I have to talk about it. I have no agenda on who, just anyone.

And then I want to show them in scripture what it says.

I want them to feel the same love. Share the same joy I've been given.

And they get energized / excited and begin to encourage me and give me even more energy. And it rinse, cycles and repeats. Over and over and over springing up into eternal life. It never stops. And I never want it to.

But ultimately... this is the part of the story I don't get to often with too many people. The purpose of this conversation is this...

Eventually ALL mature believers reach this point. The point where we are dissatisfied. Not with our lives and this love Jesus has for us. But we can't wait to see Him face to face. We are dissatisfied with not seeing Him in person. This is NOT acceptable. HE NEEDS TO COME HERE OR WE NEED TO GO THERE TO SEE HIM AND BE WITH HIM FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is flat out unacceptable. We NEED to SEE Him face to face, not just as a dim reflection.

All this love He gives everyday. All this mercy. All this forgiveness. All this restoration. All this love, joy, peace. He keeps giving and giving and we never run dry. We feel alive because of Him. We feel hope because of Him. We feel loved and share love because of Jesus. We have to see Him. Have to.

I’m doing an iTunes U course on the Theology of the Family from Liberty and this is what I’ve pulled out from the episode I’m currently on. The role of the wife is to teach their husbands and children how to fear God by how they respect and fear their husbands. And through that to teach our families what the role of the church is. Notice we are not only teaching our children but also our husbands. The primary sense of camaraderie that men have is respect. For women it is love. By submitting to our husbands and submitting to God, we are showing our husbands that we respect them and respect them in the proper way. A man cannot love his wife if he cannot respect himself and he cannot respect himself if others, primarily his wife, do not respect him. When Paul told the Ephesians about husbands and wives, he instructed each sex to do that which does not come naturally to them, women to respect and men to love. I had more to this but totally lost my train of thought.

The Greek word that submit comes from in this context translates to mean submission in the sense of voluntary yielding in love.

I found my train of thought! And I found it in 1 Peter 3:1-2. “Wives, in the same way…” We’ll continue on in this verse in a moment but first we have to look at what “in the same way” means. In the same way as what? For that we must go back a few versus to where Peter addresses the matter of slaves and masters. Chapter 2:18-20 reads “Household slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the cruel (crooked, unscrupulous). For it brings favor with God if, because of conscience toward God, someone endures grief from suffering unjustly. For what credit is there if you endure when you sin and are beaten? But when you do good and suffer, if you endure, it brings favor with God.” Now this is not to say that women are to be subordinate to their wives and treated as slaves, for even Christ was submissive to God the Father during his ministry on earth even though the two are of equal standing and power. Back to chapter 3. “Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the Christian message, they may be own over without a message (without verbal teaching) by the way their wives live, when they observe your pure, reverent lives.” Notice it will not be the pastor or his buddies or his family or his confidants that lead the husband to Christ but his wife! The consistently lowest class of human being throughout history is the one that shall have the greatest impact upon the highest class. Fitting isn’t it? The least of these shall lead. By wives submitting themselves out of voluntary yielding in love, they are showing their husbands what respect truly is, where it comes from, and to where it should return. Primarily if that husband is not one of a Christian standing. If he is a man of Christian standing, that constant, agape respect and submission serves to further his own submission to Christ and further cement that walk. With further cementing of his walk, the husband will find it easier to love his wife as Christ loved the church and in turn the wife will find it easier to submit to her husband. It’s significantly easy to submit to a Christ/husband who is willing to drop to his knees to wash your feet.

The wife is held such regard that 1 Peter 3:7 even tells husbands to honor their wives “so that your prayers will not be hindered (and cut off, otherwise you cannot pray effectively.)” The husband’s treatment of his wife is so vastly important that him not loving her would go so far as to disrupt his ability to pray and pray effectively. The Lord’s Prayer asks God to forgive us as we have forgiven but to be able to forgive one must confess a sin. Confess a weakness in an area where they need the assistance that only the person they are confessing to can provide. It is one of the deepest levels of intimacy that you can truly have with a person. To admit to them who you are, who you’re not, and who you want to be. There is a great vulnerability to it. If the wife’s relationship to her husband is supposed to be akin to the church’s relationship to Christ and the church is supposed to be praying this prayer to Christ then this level of intimacy is to be mirrored in the wife’s relation to her husband. Not that she is praying to him nor that he can forgive on the level of Christ but that there is this great intimacy between them beyond the physical that can only be had between the two of them. But if the husband is being the one who is threatened to have his prayers hindered by his lack of honor towards his wife, then this must also be flipped around to include the husband on the same plane as the wife. They must both share that level of intimacy of themselves with each other. In this respect, neither leads, neither follows. They exist together in perfect timing, falling into the truth of who they are, who the other is, and who God is side-by-side in equal measures.

God knew that men in particular would struggle and need help and would need someone to guide them along towards Him. Someone who could guide him in a way that no one else could. This is why in 1 Corinthians 11:9 it states “Neither was man created for the sake of woman, but woman for man.” Perhaps this is why woman was created from man’s rib. The part of the body which most directly guards the heart.

So Lauren shared an analogy with me that I wanted to write down and keep. She grew up in Church, as well as many of my closest friends have. I didn't grow up in Church. I am so so soooooooooooo very excited about every single little thing about Jesus, the bible, prayer, talking to GOD, being with other believers, living for GOD, worship, singing, praising and anything that has to do with a relationship with GOD. I love it all. People [overall] who grew up in Church, at least in my experience, don't have the same enthusiasm. I was wondering why? 

This is where Laurens analogy comes in

Imagine that you were forced to play baseball every single day from the time you were born. Day in and day out. You had to go to practice. You had bad teammates. You had to talk about it every single week when you didn't want to. You were surrounded daily by something forced on you. You had to wear the outfit, you had to watch baseball daily. You were constantly being force fed baseball. You would be absolutely sick of it. 

And then  you have someone named Jack who's always wanted to play baseball. He didn't think he would be allowed to play. He wanted so badly to play but didn't think he was good enough and couldn't do it. And then someone who's been playing for years named Tim comes along and tells the guy that he could play. Tim shows Jack the rules. Tim takes Jack to practice. Time teaches Jack little things about the game no one notices. And Jack is loving every second of it. Jack begins to talk with enthusiasm and excitement about all that he's learning. Jack really really loves everything about the game of baseball. 

Well when the people who grew up playing baseball come across Jack, they don't like him because they don't want to talk about or play baseball anymore. 

Now for some of the people who grew up playing baseball, they do begin to see the game as a game. They see that it can be fun. As they grow in the experience, they still need time to have old wounds heal and gain a new love for the game. 

Question: how do you know if you are living a fruitful life as a follower of Christ? I'm going through a Bible study with my church and find I don't have an answer for this.

John 15 and Galatians 5 would answer this question for you. Read both chapters and see for yourself. I will give my thoughts. But I want scripture to speak to you first and foremost.

Jesus breaks down to us and helps us understand He is the Vine, the source, the very one who gives us life to bear fruit. And He keeps going in chapter 15 to tell us what He thinks is fruit. He says clear, two times it's about us loving one another. And Paul picks up the conversation and continues to agree and teach Jesus words in more detail. He teaches us what the fruits actually are. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self - Control. There are no laws against you displaying these traits. No one will ever say "Arrest that woman, because she is peaceful and patient!" or "Kill that man because he was loving and kind to my sick daughter!" And if you are living and displaying all the fruits of the Spirit, you will move to action. Because no one can outwork someone in love. But the focus can never be works. The focus must ALWAYS be love, joy, peace, etc. The natural state of love is to give. And giving requires both thought and effort. Passion and care drives giving. So that's why it takes care of the works part.

So anyway, in summary. A free person in Christ living love and sharing love is what Jesus teaches us about being fruitful.

John 15:12 / John 15:17 Galatians 5:13-14 / Galatians 5:22-24

[[[And I'll add this just to clarify.]]]

1. 1 John 4:19. We love because He "first" loved us. [We receive nourishment from the vine.]

2. Then we begin to love others [This is fruit from the vine. We produce fruit because of the nourishment we received in order to bear fruit.]

3. When you are in love, you become vibrant. You want to do something. Just sitting around, won't do. So we work. But we work "OUT" of love. NOT "TO" be loved. And with all of this love going around. We want to read more, live more, pray more, and worship more. We want ALL of HIS love. So we receive more love from Him. And then we go back to step 1.

I feel like Dikembe Mutombo. Blocking weak shots that come against the importance of love in scripture. I am defending the gospel really. Because if the Gospel isn't about love, then what is it about??

I've found that I write better if I write to someone. I'm not good at just writing for the sake of writing. I'm much better at writing specifically. So I'm going to recap a conversation I had with a brother and give my two cents in writing.

Love is mentioned in the new testament 250 times. No other word in the new testament is mention even half as much outside of Jesus and GOD. The gospel isn't mentioned as much. Faith is not mentioned as much. The wrath of GOD isn't mentioned as much. But love. So it is good that we focus on love. It's biblical. Clearly biblical since that is the word that scripture focuses on.

I've heard people say GOD is love but love isn't GOD. That may or may not be true. But it certainly isn't something we can immediately find in scripture. I get where people are coming from. But the people who say this want to stick to scripture, Ok, let's stick to scripture. Where do you find that being said?  

With that being said. I've found it interesting that we don't fully understand that Jesus seemed to deal with two types of people. The selfish [prostitutes, tax collectors, sinners in general, sexually impure, etc etc]. And the prideful [the religious leaders]. Jesus clearly handled the two groups completely different. 

Jesus would show love love love to the selfish. He would reach out and show unconditional love. You never once see Jesus condemning these people and or hammering them. Because they knew they weren't in with GOD. They knew they weren't right with GOD. So Jesus showed them love love love. 

The prideful religious leaders who thought they were better than anyone, that's who Jesus would drop the hammer on. He would flat out tell them they were going to hell. He would tell them to sell everything and then come follow Him. He would always hammer the proud. Because the problem with pride is this; pride can't see pride. Pride must be hammered. You need to bring the blind pride people back within the boundaries. They need rules and regulations in order for them to see how far they've fallen. Because a prideful person won't receive the love of GOD with gratitude but will take it the wrong way, as if they know GOD loves them because they are just so freaking awesome. And GOD shuts that down so fast. It's about love, it's about relationship. And a prideful person can never come into or stay in relationship with GOD because of their inflated ego.

Here where I live, in the south, In America, people have heard the gospel. There is almost no one here that hasn't heard about Jesus. What very very few hear, is that Jesus loves them. Very few people talk about the love of GOD. I put a challenge up to one of my friends. Go down 10 people into apologetics and the bible in general. Check their last 10 post. You will not find more than 1 mention of love. And for some, you won't find any! 10 post about scripture and GOD and not 1 mention of Love... Not 1! That should make you cry. 

How can we call ourselves believers... How can we call ourselves Christians... How can we call ourselves followers of Jesus when we won't stress, bring up or talk about what Jesus commanded and made a focus for all believers everywhere? How can we say we are biblical when we won't focus on what scripture focuses on? Every single book in the new testament talks about love and it's importance. It is a major focus of the bible. We can no longer call ourselves biblical if we leave love out.