crybaby

I’ve realized a lot of things this past week. to start i’ve realized i am no longer changing myself for anyone. this person i am is the person i’ve worked so hard to become and if one person doesn’t love me for it i know someone else out there will. moreover i’ve been so clouded within my head this last 7 days that i’ve struggled to focus. i’ve been studying the stars and even studying myself a bit. i was sad thinking im wasting my life i want kids and i want a life that i love to live but i cannot be so desperate for this fictional life that i ignore what’s in front of me. i cannot control every aspect of my life, though i want to. i wish i could fall off the face of the earth; just disappear without a trace as if i were never here. so everyone that’s ever known me could forget me. and everyone that’s ever loved me could erase me without a single feeling. i wish i had the answers to things and i wish i wasn’t so scared to jump