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Taehyung > Public

Jimin > Always You

oh hello there 🐶

kim seokjin made me realize i am the one i should love. for the longest time i tried to be the best i could be, scared if letting others down, scared to make a mistake, scared to be left behind. i cared too much about others and not enough about myself. i didn’t give myself enough credit, i didn’t praise myself enough, i didn’t tell myself i was doing okay and that trying was already enough. but kim seokjin came into my life and showed me that i wasn’t the only one trying and trying and never feeeling enough. i wasn’t the only one feeling like it never was enough. but just as jin did, i did it too. with his help, i learned i shouldn’t be so hard on myself.

park jimin taught me being insecure is sometimes okay, but i shouldn’t let my insecurities take over my life and control everything i do. they shouldn’t make me want to hide and dissappear forever. he taught me focusing too much on what others or on what i hate about myself, could destroy me. but he took my hand and as he learned to love himself the way he is and not push himself too much, so did i start to believe it’s okay to have flaws and i shouldn’t care ao much about what people who don’t even know me think about me. he taught me i should give it my best but only to show myself that i can do it.

min yoongi might be the member i have most in common with. he suffered from depression and social anxiety just like i still do, and as sad as it is, this helped me see that i wasn’t the only one suffering from mental illnesses, that i wasn’t weird because of it. that i wasn’t alone in this. and above all the things yoongi has taught me through the years, i think the most important one is that i can fucking do it. i might suffer from mental illnesses, but i can still make my dreams come true. i don’t give a fuck about people telling i will never reach my goal in life, i don’t care what they think. because yoongi has taught me to tell them to shut the fuck up and watch me as i become what i want to be. yoongi did, i can do it and so can you.

jung hoseok has become my hope. and i don’t mean it only like he makes me smile and laugh and that i love this dork so damn much, i mean it like he has become the person who can make me think positive and find a reason to keep going when i’m feeling hopeless and everything is falling apart. and he also has taught me to fight hard and never give up. he has helped me realize i don’t always have to hide what i feel because being sad it’s okay too. all feelings are valid.

kim taehyung has taught me to embrace my flaws and tell anyone who tries to tell me what to wear or how to look like to just fuck off and let me live my life the way i want. and for someone with social anxiety, for someone who cares so damn much about what others say or think, that is a fucking lot. and he has also taught that no matter what you came from, you can also reach the top and become whoever you want and be whatever you wanna be.

and last but not least, jeon jungkook. as we all know, he was damn shy and was scared to sing in front of others. he even ate alone when the other members were already finished and spend most of the time alone. and that was also me for almost my whole life. and i always thought it would always be like that, that i would always be alone and would never overcome my fears. until this boy came into my life and told me to have hope and fight. i mean, do you see him now? he sings in front of thousands of people and isn’t so shy anymore. he has found a big family, he isn’t alone anymore. this gives me hope. it makes me think i can do that too, that i can someday say goodbye to my fears and hello to the world and just be myself without being afraid of being judge. i am so fucking proud of this boy and i hope someday someone will be at least half as proud of me as i am of him.

no, just because bts told me to love myself i didn’t just suddenly stop hating myself and become a whole new me and my mental illnesses didn’t dissappear. but because they were there for me along the way and helped me stand up when i fell, because they showed me that it is possible i am trying to learn how to love myself.