so i accidentally deleted my old tumblr

There are currently millions of formally dressed skeletons living under Earth’s surface

Living??????????

idea: selina kyle as a reverse archeologist. she steals from museums and private collections and returns things to the shrines and graves where they belong. she brings a clay jaguar to monte alban and now she can talk to cats. the whip is because she’s indiana jones. batman makes half-assed attempts to stop her but it’s not like she’s wrong so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ he’s got violent crimes to deal with, what does he care if she’s stealing back smuggled relics from rich assholes. he met that guy at a party once and he was a huge asshole so fuck him. steal his toupee, too. it’s probably endangered. ‘oh no catwoman is escaping and there’s nothing we can do. robin sit back down. there’s nothing we can do. she’s taking that statue back to egypt and we have no possible recourse against this terrible nonviolent crime with a single dick victim. i am definitely really mad about this. i’ll fight her later, when you’re sleeping or at a friend’s house or something. you’ll understand when you’re older.’

some sketches from my instagram :V

concept: me, a housewife, putting two lean cuisines in the microwave. i drink an entire bottle of chardonnay during the four minutes the chicken fettuccine takes to heat up. my husband walks through the door just as i place the entrée on the table. he thanks me for slaving away all day over a hot stove. i have succeed in passing the lean cuisine off as my own creation. when he’s done, i tell him im in love with our maid, helen–who bears a striking resemblance to margot robbie–and that i will see him in court. im blind drunk and jump into a 1960s pink convertible that helen is driving. we laugh about the lean cuisines.

this is the best post on this fucking website