The place you can't go back to is called home.

i feel like a lot of fandoms pride themselves on being gayer than the source material but have they considered being less racist and less misogynistic than the source material as well . could be revolutionary

The "never allow anyone to mistreat you" and "no one can hurt you without your permission" type of advice seems horribly ignorant of the power dynamics involved in a lot of abusive situations. "Just not allowing it" won't always be a safe option or an option at all, and that of course doesn't mean that any kind of abuse should be treated as acceptable or inherently unavoidable, but it does mean that we need to stop shaming abuse survivors for "allowing themselves to be mistreated" or whatever.