THE CRYPTIC CORNERS OF MY SOUL

It was undeniable that Caspar was going to get stares, at least that’s what he thought. While he was certain the other families knew about him, this was the first time they’d be meeting him – a complete outsider who was intending to marry the second child of the Edora clan. He tried to make his peace with it by putting his anxiety aside and repeating what his friend Asylum had told him about eye contact, smiles, and greetings or laughing it off. Just the thought that he had a being so well versed in social affairs like Asylum lending him a bit of advice was surreal enough to make him want to laugh. Like there was a dirty little secret that was just his and Ruka’s that none of the other elders could touch or compare with perhaps. It kept his mind off of his anxiet, yet he could feel it rolling off of Ruka.  Caspar knew the attire and jewel was to blame. Ruka tried so hard to be only a man, and nothing else, that having to walk around as an intersex vampire was far more than alien for his partner. The term “Dysphoria” didn’t do the feeling justice, since it was also their first formal social occassion on top of just gender identity anxiety. He immediately sense Ruka reaching for him, and he did the same, taking his partner’s hand as best we could. Silently he told Ruka <Just remember what Asylum told me, we make eye contact and if they look away just laugh or smile, and if they don’t look away we can introduce ourselves but I swear I’m not leaving your side. I do want to try and say hi to your mom first. I trust Tatsuo. He’s always been kind to us, and I’d like to be equally as polite even if he has to be formal at the ball.> @kuromiyakun

Caspar thought to Ruka rather than replying aloud, <“Don’t make me channel my inner Asylum and point out you’re far hotter than any cow could ever be, so you should use the word “Queen’ or ‘Princess’ to give yourself some credit.”> He knew the jewel bothered Ruka and that the word “bothered’ was a polite term that didn’t fit how ugly the feeling was crawling under Ruka’s skin. While he viewed Ruka, as ‘male’ in terms of identity he’d never not been aware of the intersex biology, and that by him ignoring it he had allowed them both to just live in a half-fantasy that it could be ignored altogether. Until social customs like this came up.  Cas squeezed Ruka’s hand happy to hear Daiji checking in on Ruka. The Colonel knew Ruka well enough that Ruka was always managed to feel better around their instructor, and more open.  He also chimed in, “I don’t want to leave your side, but I think if I can get this party started if I say hi to your mother. It’ll be fun, just like our friend suggested.”  Caspar tilted his head with a large smile, knowing full well he was going to make everyone stare at *him* rather than his partner, then put Asylum’s advice to work for his partner’s benefit, so less attention was on his partner… at least in regards to the jewel. Instead they’d be judging the fiance or political situation.  @kuromiyakun

Caspar hadn’t really started to walk away, so he simply turned to reach out for Ruka’s hand. He was only considering going on his own because Daiji was standing with Ruka, since he had made the promise to Ruka that he wouldn’t leave his side. Daiji was the one person Cas could see, that Ruka was comfortable enough around that he was the safest person Ruka could ever be with in a ball like this. Probably more than Cas himself, given that the elder had experience and skills with these things that Cas didn’t. As he grasped Ruka’s hand, he took a moment to tell Daiji. “Thank you Colonel, Would you mind if we continue chatting later after we greet Kitao-san and some of the other guests?”  Caspar was guessing that Ruka might get overwhelmed, but didn’t know how to be direct and ask for help. That he simply wanted to drag Ruka out of a situation if it got too complicated by heading to Daiji rather than just Oxana, given that Ruka had such confidence and trust in the Colonel. Caspar felt the depth of his inexperience and almost sighed, knowing he hadn’t a clue on how to ask Daiji directly for anything. @kuromiyakun

It was undeniable that Caspar was going to get stares, at least that’s what he thought. While he was certain the other families knew about him, this was the first time they’d be meeting him – a complete outsider who was intending to marry the second child of the Edora clan. He tried to make his peace with it by putting his anxiety aside and repeating what his friend Asylum had told him about eye contact, smiles, and greetings or laughing it off. Just the thought that he had a being so well versed in social affairs like Asylum lending him a bit of advice was surreal enough to make him want to laugh. Like there was a dirty little secret that was just his and Ruka’s that none of the other elders could touch or compare with perhaps. It kept his mind off of his anxiet, yet he could feel it rolling off of Ruka.  Caspar knew the attire and jewel was to blame. Ruka tried so hard to be only a man, and nothing else, that having to walk around as an intersex vampire was far more than alien for his partner. The term “Dysphoria” didn’t do the feeling justice, since it was also their first formal social occassion on top of just gender identity anxiety. He immediately sense Ruka reaching for him, and he did the same, taking his partner’s hand as best we could. Silently he told Ruka <Just remember what Asylum told me, we make eye contact and if they look away just laugh or smile, and if they don’t look away we can introduce ourselves but I swear I’m not leaving your side. I do want to try and say hi to your mom first. I trust Tatsuo. He’s always been kind to us, and I’d like to be equally as polite even if he has to be formal at the ball.> @kuromiyakun

Caspar thought to Ruka rather than replying aloud, <“Don’t make me channel my inner Asylum and point out you’re far hotter than any cow could ever be, so you should use the word “Queen’ or ‘Princess’ to give yourself some credit.”> He knew the jewel bothered Ruka and that the word “bothered’ was a polite term that didn’t fit how ugly the feeling was crawling under Ruka’s skin. While he viewed Ruka, as ‘male’ in terms of identity he’d never not been aware of the intersex biology, and that by him ignoring it he had allowed them both to just live in a half-fantasy that it could be ignored altogether. Until social customs like this came up.  Cas squeezed Ruka’s hand happy to hear Daiji checking in on Ruka. The Colonel knew Ruka well enough that Ruka was always managed to feel better around their instructor, and more open.  He also chimed in, “I don’t want to leave your side, but I think if I can get this party started if I say hi to your mother. It’ll be fun, just like our friend suggested.”  Caspar tilted his head with a large smile, knowing full well he was going to make everyone stare at *him* rather than his partner, then put Asylum’s advice to work for his partner’s benefit, so less attention was on his partner… at least in regards to the jewel. Instead they’d be judging the fiance or political situation.  @kuromiyakun

It was undeniable that Caspar was going to get stares, at least that’s what he thought. While he was certain the other families knew about him, this was the first time they’d be meeting him – a complete outsider who was intending to marry the second child of the Edora clan. He tried to make his peace with it by putting his anxiety aside and repeating what his friend Asylum had told him about eye contact, smiles, and greetings or laughing it off. Just the thought that he had a being so well versed in social affairs like Asylum lending him a bit of advice was surreal enough to make him want to laugh. Like there was a dirty little secret that was just his and Ruka’s that none of the other elders could touch or compare with perhaps. It kept his mind off of his anxiet, yet he could feel it rolling off of Ruka.  Caspar knew the attire and jewel was to blame. Ruka tried so hard to be only a man, and nothing else, that having to walk around as an intersex vampire was far more than alien for his partner. The term “Dysphoria” didn’t do the feeling justice, since it was also their first formal social occassion on top of just gender identity anxiety. He immediately sense Ruka reaching for him, and he did the same, taking his partner’s hand as best we could. Silently he told Ruka <Just remember what Asylum told me, we make eye contact and if they look away just laugh or smile, and if they don’t look away we can introduce ourselves but I swear I’m not leaving your side. I do want to try and say hi to your mom first. I trust Tatsuo. He’s always been kind to us, and I’d like to be equally as polite even if he has to be formal at the ball.> @kuromiyakun

It was undeniable that Caspar was going to get stares, at least that’s what he thought. While he was certain the other families knew about him, this was the first time they’d be meeting him – a complete outsider who was intending to marry the second child of the Edora clan. He tried to make his peace with it by putting his anxiety aside and repeating what his friend Asylum had told him about eye contact, smiles, and greetings or laughing it off. Just the thought that he had a being so well versed in social affairs like Asylum lending him a bit of advice was surreal enough to make him want to laugh. Like there was a dirty little secret that was just his and Ruka’s that none of the other elders could touch or compare with perhaps. It kept his mind off of his anxiet, yet he could feel it rolling off of Ruka.  Caspar knew the attire and jewel was to blame. Ruka tried so hard to be only a man, and nothing else, that having to walk around as an intersex vampire was far more than alien for his partner. The term “Dysphoria” didn’t do the feeling justice, since it was also their first formal social occassion on top of just gender identity anxiety. He immediately sense Ruka reaching for him, and he did the same, taking his partner’s hand as best we could. Silently he told Ruka <Just remember what Asylum told me, we make eye contact and if they look away just laugh or smile, and if they don’t look away we can introduce ourselves but I swear I’m not leaving your side. I do want to try and say hi to your mom first. I trust Tatsuo. He’s always been kind to us, and I’d like to be equally as polite even if he has to be formal at the ball.> @kuromiyakun

“I try,” he said with a smile. “It’s not always easy, well, it’s actually hard. That and I’m a royal asshole to the people I don’t like. I’ll keep what you said in mind.”  Caspar started laughing loudly too, Asylum’s reaction was priceless. “Yeah, it’s real, but didn’t you just mention Oxana will roast you to a crisp if you show up and cause problems? We can’t have you looking balder than a Nosferatu, it doesn’t suit your charm. The best I can do is take a photo. I want one for myself anyways, because yeah, it looks good on him even if the purpose is ridiculous. I’d like it more if it wasn’t a vagina badge.” “It’s really only the unmarried ones that wear it, since we’re not technically married yet. One reason I’m kicking myself for not thinking about the contract sooner, but we’ll be fine. Your advice is priceless.” “Also buys me more time to get your gift finished. It’s nothing too fancy, I’m just picky on your behalf since it’s customized a bit.” @kuromiyakun

“I hope that continues to work out for you,” Cas said not knowing what the right words of encouragement were. He had faith that Asylum could make it work, and at least that he deserved to have some happiness in his life. Cas had no problem with the world being a mixed bag of good and bad, though he wished at times that he wasn’t always feeling the pull to the problem-side of it. “I remember how much Ruka and I fought in the beginning since we had some pretty skewed or painful trauma that kept us from knowing how to talk to people without it turning into a messy situation. With his telekensis reacting to his emotional distress, we had to clean up a lot of broken glass for awhile. Hopefully you don’t have to have that kind of ugly learning curve to work out. But all the work was worth it.”   “I can count on one hand or so the number of people I’m comfortable being myself around, you and Ruka are two of those people.” @kuromiyakun

“If you need a break periodically, come visit. Sometimes we all need a second to get our head together or just before things get overwhelming. It’s not like Ruka and I didn’t have our fights.”  He knew that it wasn’t safe to suggest this, but if he didn’t trust in Asylum he shouldn’t be talking to him. He wanted to show Asylum as much trust as he thought the angel deserved. Asylum fought to get this far, and Caspar felt like he should be given a chance to keep fighting to go further. How could he help Asylum keep going if he wasn’t there for him which only served to prove Promiscuity as being right when the demon wasn’t. Not all the time. Caspar desperately still hoped he could be the exception to the nature in most living creatures that made Asylum seem so depressed at times. “I’m glad you think so,” he chimed in as Asylum spoke about him not being a victim. He appreciated the support. He didn’t feel in control, and it was like he was constantly feeling too vulnerable these days.  Caspar laughed, “I’m twice as likely to get my ass kicked that bitten with the way I think and act, but I also think I”ve gotten so used to it that I forget it’s supposed to be a punishment.” @kuromiyakun

Cas fliniched as he counted through all the option adding his own, knowing damn well that a certain friend of his flew by New York on a regular basis through his dozens of trips around hospitals in the Northern end of the East Coast. He didn’t really feel like Mason was up for meeting the vampire-ass-stomping level of a supernatural but Banshee didn’t deserve to die just because Mason was a baby who didn’t know his own strength or respect it enough to keep himself in check. Caspar sent to Ruka, <”I know *one* person who could make it there … like in minutes if he damn well felt like it just with a photo, that can pull Banshee out of it. If Masao isn’t actually in a visit or surgery with one of his patients right now…. since he is a practicing medical Dr for humans … ”> He let out a sigh that even Mason could hear, “Don’t talk to someone you don’t trust. Rule out that Sahara for now, because chances are she knows less than the one person I can send your way who also can heal vampires as he’s literally a vampire and human doctor. He’s the only reason I’m still around because I damn near got myself kid when I was pretty much a vampire baby several times over….” @kuromiyakun

<Well, he’d consider it, and if I throw in a favor or two he wants, he will assuming he isn’t busy with something he considers more pressing and that usually means some kid’s life over a vampire’s.> Cas explained to Ruka.  The favor or two was to buy an expedited response and to compensate Masao for sticking his neck out on someone he didn’t know. Even if they were friends, Masao’s professional work in a lot of ways did rate higher than a random Nosferatu, so he wouldn’t blame him for wanting an incentive if he was already preoccupied. That, and Masao had the most absurd duality in that an innocent human child would get all of his attention and time for free, just for the sake of hope for a better future, while the most famous of supernatural creatures would have to pander their money and power to even get Masao’s attention and keep it.  ”Mason, do me a favor, or do the person who’s going to come help Banshee a favor. If there’s a room you can clear a good ten foot square in by moving some furniture around, do it. Clear out a ten foot area in the room then take a photo of it and send me the photo, and send me the address of your place even if it doesn’t have a street address like the ‘third house west’ from whatever cross streets you’re at is fine.” He didn’t measure the value of things like money or power or authority quite the same as those in their own society did. He had uses for it, but he saw it through his own eyes for his own purposes. Caspar just also happened to share some of the same priorities and know that he could still pay his friend off for helping out with a few favors to get him over to Mason’s right away rather than a “few minutes later”. Caspar told Ruka one of the major reasons why he thought of Masao while he sent a text message to the elder creature, <”He’s the only supernatural I know that can -afford- to teleport to Mason’s doorstep and not bat an eye at the expense of it regardless of the time of day, and still heal Banshee just fine so… the cost is really how much energy he has to waste since that’s major magick compared to just hopping a plane. I’m just going to have to run a few errands for Masao in exchange to make up for the energy loss it’ll take, but if we continue doing some traveling it would be more like a side trip wherever were’ going. If anything Masao values efficiency as well especially if we hit up a few black markets on the way that I’d likely want to visit myself anyways.> He wasn’t lying. Chances are he could mention the black markets, and Masao would be more than willing to consider that a fair trade since he was way too public of a figure in human circles to often visit them himself. His fake human identity was very well known in the medical community which often had a wide overlap into the supernatural and even the black markets considering what organs and other things ended up for sale there. @kuromiyakun

Caspar knew that one phone call might not be enough, so he quickly put together a “get his attention plan”. He sent a text first, with a basic “emergency” line a friend of his needing help and that he’d pay anything if it came down to it, by himself. Then he called Masao, the briefest voice message, “It’s an emergency,” then he hung up and called again. He repeated it, then when he called the third time Masao picked up.  Caspar had no idea what time it was there only that Banshee was in trouble. Masao spoke inquisitively, yet softly on the other end. Caspar never called like this unless it was a life and death situation and the vampire was severely panicked, “How bad is it?” He told Masao, “A friend of mine, barely a kid of a vampire a year old, accidentally fried his mentor’s head with his psychic powers. You’re the only one who can get there before the guy dies. I know it’s going to be hard, so just literally hand me a list of everything you think I can get for you and I’ll do it.” “… Let’s discuss the payment later. An emergency simply is, and I won’t know until afterwards how exacting the toll shall be.” Caspar let out a sigh, “I got the address and had him clear out a spot for you to teleport over. It shouldn’t be too far… although I know it’ll tax the limits.”  The further out the more Masao would need to rely on his magical “batteries” that he had charged for just such situations. Those were the genuine cost of all of this. That Masao was circumspectful enough to prepare ahead for severely powerful magic just in case his friends or himself was hurt or attacked — given that *some* of his work solicited envy and fear to warrant such defensive preparations.  It also meant that Masao could heal nearly anything on a moment’s notice.” “Have you been there yourself?” Masao asked. “Yes, should I just knock myself out so you can look?” Caspar was indirectly referring to Masao’s ability to walk into dreams. It was the very magic that Masao had taught to Caspar, that Cas had used to look into Asylum’s head the one time. Though, he couldn’t use it now, not unless he was in the same room with the person because of the changes to his tattoos that allowed him a greater access to the magic. He had those replaced with artistic ones courtesy of Banshee. Masao sighed, “No need, I can do it while you’re awake still. Though warn your partner that you might be feeling the burden.” Caspar grimaced. Masao meant that he was basically going to hijack some of Cas’s own internal energy to finish the spell, but it as worth the cost to get Masao there faster.  Caspar turned to Ruka not looking very pleased, “I need to send Masao a mental image, but the connection’s going to wipe me out without the tattoos I used to have, so if I pass out don’t worry about it. It just means that Masao’s on his way over to heal Banshee.” ((I can write more but ughs, back is bothering me and I need to get more ice. It’s been hard to write because of the pain issues)) @kuromiyakun

Caspar laughed, “Yeah, I think we can have fun with it. Honestly throwing the embarrassment back at them in an undisputable manner is fun. Hopefully we won’t have to.” “I guess I haven’t been quite as curious, though I’m more interested in their clan’s abilities or powers than anything. I hadn’t gotten very far in learning about their history before we started traveling.” “We can stay longer if you want to catch up on your combat training. It’ll give me time to review the contract. I want to sign it, but I want to try and approach this the right way. Like if I need to suggest changes or additions, and how to do it politely.” “We can leave a divorce clause in since I’m never leaving you, it doesn’t bother me to have it in their if it makes your father happy. Though I’d want to suggest changing it, in that if I do anything so horrible or treat you so poorly that you want to divorce me, I think *you* should get to say what I do and don’t get at that point. If you want to make me pay for hurting you even. I’d say make the clause even tougher, as long as you get to have a word in what happens.” @kuromiyakun

“I’m not against it, I’m just not sure who I should be anymore besides your partner. I’m trying to see if I can let go of the anger and rage that drove me to keep trying to learn more magic or get stronger, but … I didn’t realize that was really driving me to keep living for the longest time. Now I have you, I don’t really need the rest of it, but I kind of built my whole life around the pursuit of kicking ass to the point I’m not sure what to do when I’m not trying to kick everyone’s ass.”  @kuromiyakun

“I try,” he said with a smile. “It’s not always easy, well, it’s actually hard. That and I’m a royal asshole to the people I don’t like. I’ll keep what you said in mind.”  Caspar started laughing loudly too, Asylum’s reaction was priceless. “Yeah, it’s real, but didn’t you just mention Oxana will roast you to a crisp if you show up and cause problems? We can’t have you looking balder than a Nosferatu, it doesn’t suit your charm. The best I can do is take a photo. I want one for myself anyways, because yeah, it looks good on him even if the purpose is ridiculous. I’d like it more if it wasn’t a vagina badge.” “It’s really only the unmarried ones that wear it, since we’re not technically married yet. One reason I’m kicking myself for not thinking about the contract sooner, but we’ll be fine. Your advice is priceless.” “Also buys me more time to get your gift finished. It’s nothing too fancy, I’m just picky on your behalf since it’s customized a bit.” @kuromiyakun

“I hope that continues to work out for you,” Cas said not knowing what the right words of encouragement were. He had faith that Asylum could make it work, and at least that he deserved to have some happiness in his life. Cas had no problem with the world being a mixed bag of good and bad, though he wished at times that he wasn’t always feeling the pull to the problem-side of it. “I remember how much Ruka and I fought in the beginning since we had some pretty skewed or painful trauma that kept us from knowing how to talk to people without it turning into a messy situation. With his telekensis reacting to his emotional distress, we had to clean up a lot of broken glass for awhile. Hopefully you don’t have to have that kind of ugly learning curve to work out. But all the work was worth it.”   “I can count on one hand or so the number of people I’m comfortable being myself around, you and Ruka are two of those people.” @kuromiyakun

“I try,” he said with a smile. “It’s not always easy, well, it’s actually hard. That and I’m a royal asshole to the people I don’t like. I’ll keep what you said in mind.”  Caspar started laughing loudly too, Asylum’s reaction was priceless. “Yeah, it’s real, but didn’t you just mention Oxana will roast you to a crisp if you show up and cause problems? We can’t have you looking balder than a Nosferatu, it doesn’t suit your charm. The best I can do is take a photo. I want one for myself anyways, because yeah, it looks good on him even if the purpose is ridiculous. I’d like it more if it wasn’t a vagina badge.” “It’s really only the unmarried ones that wear it, since we’re not technically married yet. One reason I’m kicking myself for not thinking about the contract sooner, but we’ll be fine. Your advice is priceless.” “Also buys me more time to get your gift finished. It’s nothing too fancy, I’m just picky on your behalf since it’s customized a bit.” @kuromiyakun

Caspar laughed, “Yeah, I think we can have fun with it. Honestly throwing the embarrassment back at them in an undisputable manner is fun. Hopefully we won’t have to.” “I guess I haven’t been quite as curious, though I’m more interested in their clan’s abilities or powers than anything. I hadn’t gotten very far in learning about their history before we started traveling.” “We can stay longer if you want to catch up on your combat training. It’ll give me time to review the contract. I want to sign it, but I want to try and approach this the right way. Like if I need to suggest changes or additions, and how to do it politely.” “We can leave a divorce clause in since I’m never leaving you, it doesn’t bother me to have it in their if it makes your father happy. Though I’d want to suggest changing it, in that if I do anything so horrible or treat you so poorly that you want to divorce me, I think *you* should get to say what I do and don’t get at that point. If you want to make me pay for hurting you even. I’d say make the clause even tougher, as long as you get to have a word in what happens.” @kuromiyakun

Caspar laughed, “Yeah, I think we can have fun with it. Honestly throwing the embarrassment back at them in an undisputable manner is fun. Hopefully we won’t have to.” “I guess I haven’t been quite as curious, though I’m more interested in their clan’s abilities or powers than anything. I hadn’t gotten very far in learning about their history before we started traveling.” “We can stay longer if you want to catch up on your combat training. It’ll give me time to review the contract. I want to sign it, but I want to try and approach this the right way. Like if I need to suggest changes or additions, and how to do it politely.” “We can leave a divorce clause in since I’m never leaving you, it doesn’t bother me to have it in their if it makes your father happy. Though I’d want to suggest changing it, in that if I do anything so horrible or treat you so poorly that you want to divorce me, I think *you* should get to say what I do and don’t get at that point. If you want to make me pay for hurting you even. I’d say make the clause even tougher, as long as you get to have a word in what happens.” @kuromiyakun

“I try,” he said with a smile. “It’s not always easy, well, it’s actually hard. That and I’m a royal asshole to the people I don’t like. I’ll keep what you said in mind.”  Caspar started laughing loudly too, Asylum’s reaction was priceless. “Yeah, it’s real, but didn’t you just mention Oxana will roast you to a crisp if you show up and cause problems? We can’t have you looking balder than a Nosferatu, it doesn’t suit your charm. The best I can do is take a photo. I want one for myself anyways, because yeah, it looks good on him even if the purpose is ridiculous. I’d like it more if it wasn’t a vagina badge.” “It’s really only the unmarried ones that wear it, since we’re not technically married yet. One reason I’m kicking myself for not thinking about the contract sooner, but we’ll be fine. Your advice is priceless.” “Also buys me more time to get your gift finished. It’s nothing too fancy, I’m just picky on your behalf since it’s customized a bit.” @kuromiyakun