Kuri Kandi

WHY IS MY MOM SO RETARDED.

I keep telling myself it will pass and holding on to the hopes of the weekend. This is the longest I've ever been willingly sober my whole life. My son is worth it. Ive been such a different person since I found out I was pregnant. And for the longest time I was so happy about it but now here I am 9 months postpartum and I feel like I'm breaking down I feel like I'm falling apart. I used to be this outgoing adventurous funny happy girl. I used to constantly be meeting people and going to events. Now I do the same exact thing every single day. I work my ass off I watch my kid I clean when I can I Drive me and my boyfriend around. After I pick him up from work I literally have no energy left and my body I feel stressed and warped and cornered. I feel like he doesn't understand me. I feel like no one understands me. I've cried more in the past few months then I have since I lost jack. I feel like I've become my father who I hated my entire child and teenage years. So angry and resistant to understanding. Full of malice and resentment. I treat my boyfriend the same way he treated me when I was a child. I need to get out of this whatever is going on with me. I feel like all I want to do is get wasted but I've come to the conclusion even if I fall victim to the clutches of alcohol I don't enjoy the way it makes me feel anymore. I would never abandon my son and I couldnt imagine spending any less time with him but goddamn do the thoughts of just running the fuck away constantly flood my mind.

When did I become so damaged

Yesh