Kumui 🍋

damn, you were really ditched by your boyfriend for a stick, , ,

okay, you were being dramatic. every giver has a strong bond with their jinki—you know that.

you also know that Zanka was especially close to his jinki, Lovely Assistaff.

but really? you were literally right here beside him, laying in his bed, yet he was turned over on his side holding onto Lovely. you knew it was a stupid thing to be annoyed about, yet the slightest hint of jealousy crept up in your mind as you watched him.

just laying there, back against you, holding onto his jinki. you huff, frowning at the sight, wishing that Zanka had his hands around you instead. it was cold and you came here to have your warm boyfriend embracing you tonight—not Lovely!

when you two first started dating, you had admired how careful and attentive Zanka was with his jinki. it was cute how much he cared for her and you thought she was just what Zanka had namned her—lovely.

but you couldn't help but feel like Zankas side piece when he was being like this, , , you never, ever thought you'd stoop so low to be jealous of an object!

sighing again, you turn over to the side, putting your arms around Zankas waist. normally he'd never let you be the big spoon, but it wasn't like he was awake, , , or hugging you either, for that matter.

putting your face against the back of his neck you breathed in the scent of his hair, the faint smell of fabric cleaner and shampoo always clinging onto him despite the dirty job you both had. even Lovely was always clean and taken care of, always polished and cared for.

, , , it was stupid, how jealous you were. of course Zanka loved you too, he couldn't date his stick (or at least you think) and he had always found comfortable in Lovely when things got stressful at your shared job.

maybe you could ask to help care for Lovely. maybe that would make you realise it never was that deep, and that Lovely would always be a part of this relationship. yeah, that'd be nice. if Zanka did allow you to hold Lovely you gladly would, she was amazing in a lot of ways and you could understand why Zanka loved her so much.

you sighed again, but this time with a smile on your face as you move one of your hands to hold over Zankas, holding onto Lovely in a way. being irritated over such a silly thing as your boyfriends stick was stupid! he'd never leave you for her, and you'll just show your own appreciation for her to make Zanka trust you more.

, , , the calm is erupted by Zankas faint whisper, a fragment of a dream, voicing out the name of—not you, but Lovely.

Zanka was very well aware of how unhealthy this was. The obsession with being great, the hours spent training to perfect his precision and aim. It took over his life, every waking moment was spent working on himself—bettering himself.

He knew it wasn't normal. Nearly every day Enjin would tell him he's doing too much in that teasing tone, but still with an almost worried glint in his eye. Sometimes Gris would tell him he needed to rest which only seemed to make Zankas mind panic.

Rest was a foreign concept in his head—something evil, something that would only keep him from doing what he was supposed to. Being a cleaner wasn't exactly a career choice that promised calm and quiet, so he had to learn to ignore his aching muscles and the pain of over-exercising. After all, that's what an average cleaner should be able to do.

Sometimes, on quiet nights, Zankas thoughts would linger on these habits. He knew, he really did, how bad they were, but he never dwelled on it too long in fear of realising something weak about himself. He refused to acknowledge just how harmful the hours of wielding Lovely Assistaff on an empty stomach actually were. Eating didn't come easy either—it was time that could be spent training, and if it wasn't healthy enough there was no idea even eating the food.

Nothing could remove those thoughts that had been engraved in his brain, nothing and no one.

Until you noticed it.

Until you tried to help.

Zanka never understood why it felt like it was okay to rest when you told him too, or how there was no guilt eating your food. It just came so easily when it was you—anything that had to do with you came easy for him.

He felt like a fool. You were just another cleaner, another faces among the many others, yet you managed to convince the voice inside his head that he didn't need to punish his body like this. Years of unhealthy habits that just, , , turned off when he was around you.

"Do you like them?" Your voice sounded hopeful as you looked at Zanka across the table, your expression happy despite the tiring missions you both had been on today.

"They're good" Zankas answer was short—nothing you weren't used to. He always seemed to be thoughtful whenever you baked something for him, like these cookies you made (especially for him, but don't tell him that).

His eyes found yours, and for once he looked, , , just a little at ease. It made you feel stupidly giddy—you hadn't yet figured out what exactly you felt towards him but helping others feel better always improved your own mood.

"I almost think they're too sweet" You hum, eyes moving to stare at the tray of multiple cooling cookies in front of you. Milk chocolate with extra sprinkled on top and the edges dipped in sugar. Rudos idea that you took, hoping that it would feed Zanka a bit, , , it was stupid to think one cookie would change his bad habits, but you couldn't help but worry when he trained so hard and ate so little.

"Maybe. Yeah, they are a bit too sweet" Zanka answers, yet still taking another bite.

Scrunching your eyebrows together in slight confusion, your eyes find his face again. "You can say they are way too sweet, i won't take offence"

", , , maybe I like it too sweet" The room fell into silence after that. In what world would Zanka like cookies this sweet? It was a wonder he even ate the normal stuff you baked!

"Quit looking at me like that" Zanka grumbles after a while, glaring slightly at you—who's still looking at him very intensely. You almost couldn't believe it, Zanka admitted to liking something 'unhealthy'.

"It's just, , , ah, nevermind" You sigh, adverting your gaze onto the table yet again—but not before noticing a slight blush on Zankas, quite pretty now that you think about it, face.