クエ ー ザー

“We need to always keep progress moving forward in all aspects of our community.”

UPDATE JUNE 7th: Thank you everyone for the feedback, the love, and the comments. I have tried to read everything and take all of your advice, well wishes, and desires in from the last day.

I know a lot of you want to know how you can get a flag of this design, and I'm happy to report that I have chosen Kickstarter to get it going! Please follow the link to help make this flag a physical reality, and get yourself a copy.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/danielquasar/progress-a-pride-flag-reboot

I've also included a sticker and digital goodies to go along with the rewards. I really hope y'all appreciate it. I really didn't want to disappoint.

Flag Description:

Background: LGBT 6 full sized color stripes representing life (red), healing (orange), sunlight (yellow), nature (green), harmony/peace (blue), and spirit (purple/violet)

Hoist: 5 half sized stripes representing trans identity (light blue, light pink, white), marginalized POC communities (brown, black), as well as AIDs victims and the AIDs stigma (black)

Explanation: When the Pride flag was recreated in the last year to include both black/brown stripes, as well as the trans stripes, I felt there needed to be more thought put into the design and emphasis of the flag to give it more meaning.

The 6 stripe LGBT flag should be separated from the newer stripes because of their difference in meaning, as well as to shift focus and emphasis to what is important in our current community climate. The main section of the flag (background) includes the traditional 6 stripe LGBT flag as seen in its original form so as not to take away from its original meaning (seen above).

The trans flag stripes and marginalized community stripes were shifted to the Hoist of the flag and given a new arrow shape. The arrow points to the right to show forward movement, while being along the left edge shows that progress still needs to be made.

DESIGNER:

Name: Daniel Quasar, quasar.digital

Pronouns: he/him, xe/xem

ID: queer non-binary demiguy

please feel free to share, and credit me on my tumblr (@kueezaa), my instagram (@danielquasar) or on my FB page (@quasardigital.pdx) Thanks!

USE:

Sharing with no alteration for non-commercial purposes is currently permitted. Any commercial use is not permitted.

And yet, I get back up and do it all again. It's as if I have an infinite amount of extra lives and so there is no reason to stop playing.

I need you to know that I have more feelings than I originally knew. I wasn’t ready for them, but at the same time I was. I didn’t say no, nor did I stop them from coming.

I care more than you probably want me to, and that’s what makes me angry. One part of it. I thought you wanted me to care, at first. I know it was just a fling, a new thing, and beginning of a friendship, but you came off different than you do now. Why did you change? Were you afraid of something?

Tonight, I got jealous. Like really jealous. No, it was different than that. I got hurt, jealous, angry, and I wasn’t sure how to reconcile those feelings. I didn’t know where they were coming from, nor why they were there.

The weird part of this, I know where things stand, or I’ve never made them anything they were not. I took your lead, even when your lead became odd and all over the place. You confuse me.

You were so interested before. So kind, so available, so energetic. And then a switch was flipped and you took a one-eighty degree turn. You are kind still, but in a way I don’t understand. You’re not available, and your interest has all but disappeared. I should have fucked you while I had the chance, I guess. Now I don’t understand where things are, and I feel like you made it about me.

But it never was about me, was it? At least, that’s not how I see it. Part of me wonders if you were the one. The one who started getting feelings out of alignment, and instead of admitting it to yourself, you made me the reason. I was then the one having feelings, which I wasn’t. I cared, yes, but I still knew where I stood. Yet, you questioned me still.

Now I sit here, left in this moment of anger, because I let the confusion and bitterness fester and grow. I became the person with feelings.

Tonight, I saw you practically ignore me. I saw your boy practically ignore me. In that moment, I knew I had been exchanged. I watched you, and it grew. This feeling. Did you even notice I left without saying goodbye? No.

The funny part? I didn’t even have time to start my car before I saw you walk behind me, heading to yours. Way to throw me a bone, universe.

I’m torn, and all I know to do is talk to you. But I fear that I will just cut you off, and leave. Because that’s how I feel right now. I don’t want to do that.

I’m struggling with those 3 words a lot lately. I am the type of person who is just available. I am open and ready to take someone in at pretty much all times. Easy to love, and easy to trust. I freely give those things out, no matter the consequence.

Lately though, I feel like this nature needs to be changed. I feel like I have been getting hit with the short end of the stick over and over and over again. Let me give an example of what I mean:

I meet a guy, and we hit it off. I take the risk, even with caution, by opening up and become willing to invest. When I say invest, I mean with time, with emotions, with compassion, trust, etc. It works and things seem great, like they will develop into something worthwhile; a friendship that could be worth the effort. That’s the reward. Then allofasudden, things turn. I’m given no warning and what seemed like on the path to something great, turns into nothing. Almost immediately, I see my investment crash, and I get no return on it. No explanation, etc. This is the regret.

The thing is, this has been a pattern lately, and has happened quite a few times. And if you asked me why, I would have no answer for you. I really have no clue. It makes me want to stop trying to make connections all together. I mean, even I can’t put up with that.