freddied krueger: welcome to your nightm
me:*remembers this is MY dream and i can do WHATEVER i want!!!!!!!!!!!*
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@ktbear860
freddied krueger: welcome to your nightm
me:*remembers this is MY dream and i can do WHATEVER i want!!!!!!!!!!!*

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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character in a fight scene: *restrains their opponent by pinning them against the wall by their wrists*
me:
i’m rewatching the office and this scene absolutely knocked me tf out
gordon ramsey: so what’s wrong with the restaurant? a staff member about to drag out every single bad and/or questionable thing their boss has ever done:

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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the soldier from TF2 says a lot of goofy stuff but honestly “if God had wanted you to live he would not have created me” is a pretty raw fucking line
Chapter 12: Cast Iron
I just posted Chapter 12 “Cast Iron” to my fic Daydreamer (A Reed900 fic).
This is a Connor-centric chapter featuring a weird fight scene, nerdy quotes, and brief mentions of a doughnut eating bet.
You can check out the latest chapter here!
Preview: (aka, small unimportant part that made me chuckle)
“Eating and taste were impossibilities for the android. He’d “eaten” a doughnut to help Hank win a bet–only to sit up for hours with his chest cavity open as he scrubbed his components clean of the sticky, caramelized mess.”
This is the meme content I like to see
let me tell u something chefs love memes about how a kitchen works and this one caused my entire kitchen to riot and my head chef sent it to all the area chefs in the company
*dragonborn goes to help arvel the swift*
frostbite spider:

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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The Scout from TF2 is real and there are two of them on earth right now
When medication says "do not operate heavy machinery" they're probably mainly referring to cars, but my mind always goes to forklift.
My mine has literally NEVER gone to cars.
new high school classmate: so what’s your name
renesmee: renesmee
new classmate: that’s… interesting
renesmee: my mom was on crack when she named me
bella, sitting literally two seats away:
I’m so concerned that this post implies Bella and Edward will attend high school again with their own daughter
youre goddamn right thats what im implying
the russian government… made this??
oh my god tumblr i don’t CARE that 447 people commented on slimetony’s post. i really don’t. how can i explain to you that i don’t want this in my notifications
Why can’t you be happy for me

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming