The Journey Through My Mind

It sets me at ease. I see an ocean.

Something I want to lay in and relax.

Clear my mind and have fun.

I see calm seas

I aim to please them

Appease them

Letting them just float me away

From this life

I’m tired

I’m broken

Just take me away

In your blue seas

to another life

to another place

where I’m not such a disgrace

I think could life get any better than this moment? The sound of the ocean and the waves crashing, seagulls chirping, a spectacular view.

I go just to think, but I end up not thinking about anything. I’m just at a blank stare looking out to what could be and what could have been.

9oz of freedom 9oz of regret

but I have 0 fucks left to give.

I appreciate the help

but you legally had

to provide it.

God damn did you take every chance to remind me, to hold it against me Making me sick as fuck taking help, receiving help, thinking I’m weak for taking help.

having me never wanting to ask for help. even if it pushed me to the extremes god be damned if I ever take help again.

I’ll owe no one and get through this life. On my own, on my own work, I’m my own failures, on my own god damn back.

you instilled the grind unknowingly causing a bind in my mind to do nothing but find my own way even if it meant my own dismay.

i can’t appreciate my ride up in life always wondering when it will come down. Constantly having to stay ahead of life to keep me out of strife. I won’t go back, I can’t go back, I know nothing but the grind.

The synergy from lifting

Feels great for a moment

Unveiling torment to body

The agony of the pain

Is worth it in the end

later paralyzed by pain

Succumbing to my injuries

Where did that synergy go

That numbed the pain

If just for a bit

I long for pain relief

Knowing it will never come

Keep pushing it won’t be long

Till this can no longer be done

Bedridden one day though to my dismay

Succumbing to my injuries

Paralyzed by pain.

What he thinks that feeling is

He sinks in his seat

The perfect song comes on

The perfect smells

The perfect lights

And it sinks in that he will never get that feeling

It’s fleeting but almost can grasp it

He settles in and continues the drive

Driving over a bridge where he just wants to take a dive

To escape the fleeting feeling

The feeling of never being good enough

Never being happy nor content

Going through life accomplishing everything

But still numb to it all, still searching for that fleeting feeling

The feeling of being happy and justified

But instead he’s wanting to die to escape the feeling he knows he will never obtain