kryl

just fucked up real bad im gonna call an ambulance hhh parents r downstairs this is gonna be so awkward I was suppost to see my friends tomorrow I dont wanna say bye to my cat

less than 24 hours until im home and can do as much damage as I want, im so sick of this world

i want someone to care about me enough to force me to get help just so i can push it away and see if they keep making me to prove if they still care

having sensory issues makes me feel so pathetic and childish like sorry im crashing out bc youre whistling its just the most grating sound ive ever heard and if you dont stop ill hit myself ._. full grown man btw

love how i can go from noticing warning signs of me thinking what if i kms at minor inconviences to planning my death in less than 24 hours

it doesnt matter if theyre intrusive my thoughts make me a vile human being by default

sorry i was busy being upset over a conversation i created in my head

i love my therapist and know it's the "right thing" to keep seeing him but at my core i have no will to keep myself alive safe or healthy and that's something he can't change

if there's one thing i'm good at it's finding a secluded corner away from everyone to sit in

me fighting the urge to not pick off the scabs put on my arm so i could pick them off later

it amazes me how much cis ppl will explain away before thinking youre trans, this guy has seen my top surgery scars for months and was shocked when i started talking ab being trans ._.