HajarXart

Eh, I've in fact wanted to bring this scene to life for many many months now. Here's something..hm...supposedly "unusual" to post on a Valentine's Day. But I want to celebrate self-love. Have been working on it for a couple of weeks. (ANDDD it's so wild how we are now getting a TOH graphic novel...??????)

This is the place and breakthrough that I imagine he's gotta reach, which he could through some fantasy version of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, after this first breakthrough which I did up for last year's Watching and Dreaming anniversary (x), before his heart and soul can hold significantly more space for love. EMDR involves vivid visualization with an "exposure therapy" aspect to it, and very importantly, has to be facilitated by a skilled practitioner, where many sessions are first put in to note down the client's history, very very importantly setting up one or more "safe places", practicing and running through how to "contain" overly distressing emotions if the client gets flooded.

Plus, deciding on what new positive belief(s) to instill as they work through one traumatic memory at a time. The client gets to narrow down which memories to work on, but I imagine Hunter and his therapist would've had to reach an agreement to yes, address what happened to him at that lake, one way or another. All these preliminary steps are before the BLS (bilateral stimulation) work, related to the "eye movement" component in the name of the technique, is even carried out.

The way his slightly older self can turn to face his 16-year-old self at that lake with a soft loving expression, is such a different place from how numbed out he was here:

I personally imagine he needed this before that Grom night. It would be so exhausting, and I hope I've depicted this scene such that it makes sense haha. Given how tired he still looks in the Grom photo.

It's his answer to the question "Will you choose yourself?". Assuming that he had access to a skilled practitioner of specialized therapy— either EMDR/IFS/or similar modalities— it would've involved returning to that lake and reframing how he views himself. Compared to the warm colours you see in the In-Between, the lake is cold, bitter, and uninviting.

By working on the ability to self-regulate (which began with that breathing technique scene in Labyrinth Runners), he can have the room in his heart and soul for giving Waffles, the palismen he is to create, and his friends and family so much love. By letting his pain be transformed when he's ready and he is genuinely able to tell his past self, "You didn't know better; I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you" and he believes that deep down. With most of the self-loathing being removed, and tapping into self-compassion and forgiving himself.

So yeah. This hopefully paints a picture of how much hard work he needs to do in therapy and how extraordinary his progress would be. It can also give weight to how bright-eyed he is in the epilogue montage. His heart needed to make space for way more love, and he had so much wonderful help with that, to get to those places. Am so so proud of him 😭😭😭😭😭

Self-love is arguably the most important form of love.

What happens after 5th frame is open to interpretation, because in EMDR your subconscious can lead you down different options for how the "story" progresses in the therapy sessions. E.g. the younger Hunter might wake up and his older self can converse with him. And he and the therapist can always revisit this same memory in a future session and the story may play out differently, but hopefully it becomes more in line with the positive belief about self that they want to instill.

How far would you go for someone you love?

Madoka Magica is such a tragic anime, it hurts me to think about how every small detail quietly leads these girls toward an inevitable end.