krustytoaster

“I’m not saying we get fake married,” Steve tells Robin, following her around Family Video. “I’m saying we should get for real married.”

“We can’t get for real married.”

“Robin. Robbie, you’re so smart and yet you’re missing the bigger picture,” He says. “Two words: Gift. Registry.”

Robin pauses, “…We could get a couch.”

Steve exclusively refers to Robin as his wife and Robin exclusively refers to Steve as her wife which-

“What? No,” Steve shakes his head. “I’m your husband.”

At this point I accepted that I only draw wolfstar at 4 am with one hand in my heart and the other in the pencil 💔

"I think Reg has a mistress," Sirius said suspiciously as he sat next to Remus in the Common Room, face twisted in thought.

"I think he would have to be married to have a mistress," Remus chuckled. "Or at least dating someone."

"Fine, a...secret someone, then!" Sirius exclaimed loudly, garnering several confused looks. Quieting his voice, he hissed to his boyfriend, "He looks...happy. It's not like him."

"How dare he be happy!" Remus laughed, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend's temple. "Downright blasphemous."

"Moony! C'mon, you have to theorize with me! It's your job as my boyfriend!" Sirius whined.

Remus, however, had his own theories. "What do you think, Prongs?" he called to James, who was approaching them from the portrait hole. "Do you think Regulus has a mistress?"

And, just as he predicted, James went red and choked on nothing. "Er, no. Definitely not a...a mistress. For sure. Nope. No."

Little does he know, Steve is also moderately famous...he's in a boy band. Imagine something like Backstreet Boys or NSYNC.

Jeff knows. Gareth knows. Freak knows.

Eddie doesn't, and Steve doesn't tell him. No one tells him.

They walk past a billboard with Steve's band, and Eddie squints at it. "Hey. That guy looks like you!"

And Steve just laughs, "haha, yep, sure does! So where are we eating, babe?"

People don't recognize Steve much on the street because he dresses differently in real life. So Eddie is blissfully oblivious to the true nature of his boyfriend while CC and all their friends make bets.

And he always bitches when CC hum Steve's band's most recent hits. "Really, Gareth? Pop? Traitor."

But the second he learns who Steve is in his professional life, he sits down, listens to their whole discography, and actually memorizes some of the songs, because pop or not, his boyfriend is a pro, he's really good at what he does, and then he makes CC record a cover of his favorite Steve song (and also maybe because Steve tells him he composed some of it, and Eddie's so proud).

Sirius: Unsubscribe.

Remus: You can't just unsubscribe from a conversation.