jinkies

On September 15th, 2017 the Cassini spacecraft will end its 20-year mission by diving into the atmosphere of Saturn.

Ok instead of harping on you guys to PM me for the SW books you want I just went and put the whole thing up on my dropbox. Link and info below (caution, long post)…

PLUTO 2015

Feel free to change pronouns!

“We’ve come a long way, _____. Don’t bother getting up.”

“And now I come in, saying something suitably heroic.”

“It must be tough being a jedi. No family, no kids, no husband…”

“No tougher than enduring your false sympathy while you stare at my chest.”

“Love is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope.”

“Love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticule, and together, achieving a singular purpose… against statistically long odds.”

“An old student is returning. I don’t think ____ is going to know what hit them.”

“An old student is returning. I fear for us all.”

“Apathy is death.”

It is such a quiet thing to fall… but far more terrible as to admit it.

I’ll take the stupid one who decided to threaten us rather than shoot us when he had the chance.

The arrogance! You will not harm her, you will not harm her ever again.

Die? No! Became stronger, yes.

I have come to pass judgment on you all.

Well, now that we just killed a planet, maybe one of you can tell me what’s going on!

Perhaps you were expecting some surprise, for me to reveal a secret that had eluded you, something that would change your perspective of events, shatter you to your core.

There is no great revelation, no great secret. There is only you.

After all that has happened, still you live. You are difficult to kill.

No longer do your whispers crawl within my skull, no longer do we suffer beneath teachings that weaken us.

I will kill all she loves, all she/he/they protects, until her hands are drenched in blood.

I imagine there are worse deaths, worse pain, but if there are, I do not know them.

I can’t lose him, even if he believes he is protecting me.

But why me? I was powerless… defenseless.

If you were to battle an old Sith Lord in a lightsaber duel, you would find that we’re only children playing with toys.

Tell me I’m not going to jail again.

Ahh, the beautiful stench of decay and desperate living

Maybe you and that Sith Lord can have a party after we’re dead.

Word of warning - watch your step, or you’ll fall for hours.

*Another* Jedi? What, did you start breeding when I wasn’t looking?

You still holding a grudge?

You still breathing?

He’s been like that ever since he arrived. ‘Here’s how to kill this, here’s how to kill that.’

I thought I picked up a new smell in this sector.

Then maybe you ought to try bathing.

I hate you because you are beautiful to me, and in that weakness lies death.

If they hit us, we’re dead, but if they keep *missing* us, we’re dead. That’s great odds.

If you want to die, keep talking, smart mouth.

Now, are there any other horrors you wish to try and insert into my system, or is your electronic butchery done?

If you really *can* see the future, you should be at the pazaak table

The last Jedi in the galaxy, I get the comedian who runs around in his underwear.

Most Jedi wouldn’t know a joke if it crawled up their lightsabers.

You are like a delightful random cruelty generator.

I have already learned a great deal, master, and I am anxious to learn more about lying, betrayal, and new ways to harm innocents.

Keep the money, and use it to build a statue of me, in honor of my heroism.

Um… okay. We will build a great statue in your likeness!

I do not have the years required nor the desire to indulge you.

Just because I saved her doesn’t mean I was going to charge up her loading ramp.

Release me or I’ll blow your ship to hell!

There is a place in the galaxy where the dark side of the Force runs strong.

It corrupts all that walks on its surface, drowns them in the power of the dark side—it corrupts all life.

You have not heard a thing I have taught, and for all I have said, you have never learned to listen.

You are responsible for all of this; even now, events spiral towards destruction, and there is nothing that can be done because you refuse to listen, to understand!

You are correct- I do not know. And neither do you.