Manips, Inspo, and Shawn Fanfics

“You really think I care about my birthday right now? No, I’m going to kick this asshole’s ass for thinking that he can hit on and touch my girlfriend,” he practically shouts as you can feel him pressing forward a bit, and while you know that he could easily push past you if he wanted, you can thankfully tell he’s holding back for what you can only assume is your benefit.

“Well maybe if you actually treated her like a girlfriend I wouldn’t have to be the one consoling her. You know that she was over here crying right?” Connor blurts as Shawn in turn looks down at you with softening eyes.

“Connor stop,” you practically beg once more as you turn to look at him. This is the last thing you need, especially on what is supposed to be Shawn’s big day.

“So what, you’re just going to keep letting him treat you like this? You’re just going to let him keep hurting you?” he asks as his own gaze turns from Shawn to look down at you.

“Shut the fuck up Connor,” Shawn angrily shouts, once again turning his hostility and anger towards the other male.

“Shawn,” you softly scold, doing your best to once again get his attention. “This is your birthday, we shouldn’t be doing this now.”

Maybe this conversation is a long time coming, and it is one that likely needs to be had, but tonight is definitely not the time for it to be had, especially with the crowd that is not all that far away and the alcohol that has been consumed by everyone involved in this.

“What? You don’t like hearing that your girlfriend is hurting and upset?” Connor asks, clearly not listening to you. “Maybe you should have thought about that before you started this whole stupid shit show with Camila.”

“You don’t think I don’t know that? It’s killing me,” he shouts back before looking down at you, once again with softened eyes. “It’s killing me Y/N” he softly repeats just for you, and you know that he means it. You know that this hasn’t been easy on him, but at the same time, you also know that it’s been even harder on you.

“I know but,” you begin, which unfortunately as you say the word but, you can see the look of panic and concern in his eyes. You suppose you can’t blame him, since no conversation ever goes well with the word but in it. “I just, I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this,” you carefully offer.

“Then we won’t. Fuck everyone else. I don’t care what anybody says or how much money I lose, I’m done. I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you,” Shawn frantically begins, and as much as you wish that you could take everything that he was saying and believe him, that this was something that he would and could so easily do, you also know that he has been drinking, and it isn’t fair of you to expect this of him anyway.

As much as you hate all of this, and as much as you wish he would just end things, you know it’s not that easy. This is something that he and Camila have been working on, and if they suddenly just ended things it would look weird and be bad for both of their brands.

“Shawn I..” you once again begin, but stop, not only because you are at a loss for words and are unsure of how to handle this situation, but Connor interrupts as well.

“Why now? Why didn’t you offer this before? Clearly this has been something she has been struggling with for awhile now.” As grateful as you are to Connor for saying the words that you yourself are struggling to say, it’s also making you feel a bit taken aback. While you have gotten to know Connor these past few weeks, he has always had that easy going chill vibe about him, but right now he is clearly fired up and passionate.

“Connor, I swear to God,” Shawn once again begins as he moves to take a step forward towards the other male as you once again push on his chest in warning.

“Connor, can we have a minute please?” you finally ask as you turn to look at Connor, and while you can tell he doesn’t really want to, he finally nods and moves to head back around the corner.

However, now that the two of you are alone, there is a weird tension being felt, and you aren’t sure what to think in the moment, especially since this isn’t something that is normally felt between the two of you.

“Y/N” he finally starts, breaking the awkward silence. “I’m sorry. I know this is hard, and I know I’ve made mistakes, but please don’t.. Just stay with me. Please,” he both begs and pleads.

“I don’t think we should have this conversation tonight,” you finally determine, since honestly you don’t. Not only is this Shawn’s birthday and big night, but there is a huge crowd of people right around the corner here to celebrate.

“Baby, please,” he begs, the fear of what this moment and what this possible conversation could mean is written very clearly on his features.

“Shawn, I love you. I love you more than anything, but this is a conversation that I think does need to be had, but this is not the time or the place. I mean come on, how much have you had to drink tonight?” you ask with a bit of playfulness, needing to ease the seriousness of this particular conversation.

“We aren’t breaking up though right? Please tell me that we aren’t breaking up. I don’t know what I..” Shawn begins to ramble as you bring a hand up and place your finger on his lips.

“No, we aren’t breaking up, but I do think we need to start communicating better and being real. I can’t keep hiding my feelings from you,” you decide, since honestly you do feel like that has been one of the biggest problems between the two of you.

“And you love me right?” he asks as you nod your head, not surprised by his level of neediness and vulnerability, especially since he does tend to get this way when drunk. “And you don’t love Connor right? There is nothing going on there?” he further presses, and this time you are a bit unsure of what to say.

This was precisely why you didn’t want to have this conversation right now, but pull in the corner of your bottom lip and bite down as you can tell he already senses that something has happened.

“I’m going to do it. I’m going to kick his fucking ass” Shawn angrily begins as he moves away from you and begins to walk away, as you quickly reach for his arm. You already don’t like having this kind of serious conversation as it is, and the last thing you need is for him to go out and start something with Connor in front of all his family and friends.

“Shawn, please,’ you practically beg as you attempt to pull him back.

“Don’t you see what he is doing?” he asks, as he thankfully stops his tirade of going after Connor as he once again turns towards you. “He is taking advantage of the situation. He sees that you are vulnerable, and sees that you are sad and he sees this as his way in,” Shawn proceeds as he throws up his arms in frustration.

“I don’t think that’s what he is doing Shawn,” you hesitantly offer, since you don’t think that Connor has it in him to do something so calculated.

“He might not realize that he’s doing it, but that is precisely what he is doing Y/N.” Shawn quickly counters, clearly not ready to go easy on Connor at all. “That fucker is supposed to be one of my good friends, and I trusted him. I fucking trusted him,” Shawn continues as he runs a hand through his hair, clearly more frustrated at himself in this particular moment.

“Do you like him?” he finally asks, the look of sadness on his face as he looks over at you is absolutely heartbreaking, but even so, you know that you need to be honest, or at least as honest as you can be.

“I don’t know. I’m not sure what I feel,” you softly admit, and it’s the truth. You aren’t sure if you feel anything real for Connor, but there was something felt when he started talking about treating you differently than the way Shawn was.

“Fuck!” Shawn angrily curses as he now puts both of his hands in his hair and pulls as the ends as he turns to face the other way.

“Shawn, please,” you softly plead as you reach out a hand and place it on his back. “I’m sorry. I just.. I didn’t want to have this conversation tonight, and I’m not thinking clearly,” you ramble, already hating the way you can feel his body tensing underneath your hand and touch.

“You’re right. We shouldn’t have this conversation tonight. Plus, I need another fucking drink,” Shawn growls as he moves to leave.

“Shawn, you know I love you right?” you call after him, needing him to know this.

“Yeah, sure,” he answers, before making his way around the corner and out of sight.

“Shit,” you silently curse, and before you know it, tears are once again streaming down your face. This summer had already been incredibly rough, but unfortunately you could have never predicted this. It was definitely worst case scenario, and not only were you hurt over everything that was going on, you knew that you had just hurt Shawn as well, on his fucking birthday of all days.

You aren’t all that surprised to see Connor coming your way only moments later.

“You okay?” he softly asks, and while you could use the comfort, you are also grateful that he is choosing to keep his distance as well.

“No,” you truthfully admit as you move to wipe at the tears streaming down your face, but clearly you aren’t making much of a dent as they continue to fall.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything, it just... it pisses me off the way he is treating you. You deserve so much better than this,” he passionately affirms, as you do your best to smile through the falling tears.

“I know, and I love you for that, but I think you should go,” you sigh, hating that you are doing this. “I think I need to be alone, and I think I need to think about things, and clearly Shawn isn’t going to be happy about you being over here,” you further explain as he nods his head in acknowledgement.

“Yeah, you’re probably right, but you’ll text me if you need anything right?” he asks, and now it’s your turn to nod your head. “Okay, well, you’ve got this. You’re easily one of the strongest women I’ve ever met,” he reminds you, giving your arm a small and reassuring squeeze as he walks past.

Giving him one final half assed smile as he walks away you find yourself leaning against the wall, hating the fact that you still can’t stop the tears, but you truly can’t help it. This was one of the number one days you had been looking forward to all summer, and now here it was, and it had easily been one of the biggest disasters ever.

You hated that you had hurt Shawn and ruined his day, but at the same time, you also know that you can’t keep going on like this. Obviously this isn’t the way that you wanted everything to happen, and while you still need time to think, you are glad that everything is out there in the open.

Knowing that Shawn likely can’t deal with your presence right now, or likely tonight at all you decide to make your way back to the hotel, figuring it best for you to get your own room for the night. You know you need to think, and more than anything, you are pretty sure Shawn has some thinking of his own to do as well.