Boys Will Be Boys

Shady? I’m not acting shady at all. But I mean if that’d make you feel better sure you can take a seat. 

I'm just kidding around, do you always take everyone so seriously?

As always, it seems. I assume you are too?

Yeah, sometimes I just like to get away, yanno?

What’s it to you?

Don't act so shady, I just wanted to know if I could sit here. I fucking hate sitting alone- everyone thinks you're some weirdo who can't make friends.

Serial Killer, Lana Del Rey

Oh.

Kris, it's nice to meet you.

Awesome, let me grab my knife.

At least that could add to your little bad bitch persona.

Paint It Black, The Rolling Stones

That is just plane catchy, but let me guess you also have issues with Nirvana? Or the Pixies…

Don't tell me you're one of those boring people who believes Kurt Cobain was a musical genius too precious for this world? I was always more into Billy Corgan.

I-I, um. I don’t know…?

It's okay, I was joking.

Do you have something against the Ramones?

Yeah. I mean, hey oh let's go, it's just riveting.

Call me mom one more time and I’ll castrate you and eat your dick for breakfast.

Lucky for me that's the exact kink I've been suppressing all these years. 

Shut up- I’m sure that’s not true.

You're right. My other talents include charming the ladies, and eating a whole tofu burger in under a minute. You got any hidden talents?

Semantics. What happened to the Walkman days when things were simpler?

Are you going to lecture me on how vinyl will always sound better than cds next, Mom?

I think that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me. iPod, uPod, what’s the difference anyway?

Ah, one doesn't fucking exist. 

Boys who don’t like Marvin Gaye aren’t my type. 

So gay guys in their early forties are your thing?