⭒闇光⭒

☄彡☁️°̟̟̟∘✧Hi, My name is Kristofer but you can call me Kris, Krisy, krismy, Hikaru or Who :P🎉

☁️°∘∽He/Him/It 🦭

°. ⁎ 20 🐟

﹏﹏✧˚ · .♡🩹♡ ˚ · .I like to draw sometimes , I love sleep & dream °₊∙⊹🫧

But outside of jokes I have so many things that I like so many different attitudes depending on the context and the person, but all of them are real, when I'm nice, when I make jokes, when I'm serious

As an autistic I think I just tried so hard to fit into the world and make as few mistakes as possible, that I'm highly aware of every action I do so I don't do sh anymore because it hurts, I won't try to act like a depressed, unstable, edgy teenager because I don't want to get hurt again and lose my self-awareness.

I just don't see a purpose in all that, the pain never goes away no matter what I do, so I'll suffer in silence without leaving marks until I explode.

Also no matter how bad I look psychologists are very expensive and I don't think my mom notices, I really think she ignores it anyway

I chose a very difficult way of living according to my condition but I gave up, I will just be myself and do what I want and avoid what I don't want.

I also consciously used my entire teenage years until I was 18 to make as many mistakes as possible on the internet, I retired at 19 apparently

And yes, it was consciously a little scary in fact "whatever I am a minor who matters" I thought every time, I have that type of very self-conscious autism

I also remember my thoughts, and I was literally anti-abortion just because I was like a surprise box but as a person, it could be the one who cures cancer or Idk, I knew that fetuses did not suffer, or it didn't matter if they died because they'd go to heaven, and that's better than the earth actually

My ex was a distraction, but now that he's left me I can't forget that I need that someone

Esto es algo con lo que estuve luchando, pero de verdad ya no puedo seguir aquí, el planeta entero se siente como una jaula, desconozco a las personas, no entiendo sus comportamientos, todo en este planeta es irracional.

And worst of all, no one will understand this feeling of wanting to escape from a place where it is impossible, It's like being trapped on a desert island with cannibals without a boat, the rest of the world was destroyed, the only beings that exist are you and the people who want to eat you

I'm proud of myself, I'm no longer the victim in my dreams, and I can remove any character that bothers me and it's fun.

I don't have nightmares where I'm being chased anymore, now it's more like a game