ii. ā keep hate to a ZERO. make sure to respect me and other readers when interacting, and help make this an enjoyable experience for all.
@soin2uu ā a ranting blog for all my beautiful followers who need to get things off their chests <3 I love you all so much and hope youāre doing well always !!
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i miss u why havenāt u came back with the college sluts story been waiting on it bc i really liked the first one š„² i just want you to be able to release the rest
Hii lovey, this is so touching to me honestly haha Iām glad my mediocre writing could touch someone so deeply! Itās definitely not fair to have kept u hopeful, so Iāll give you a little excerpt of the next installment. Iām honestly more scared now that Iāve waited so long, I hope the full thing will be up to your standards since itās been such a long wait. Thank you for your appreciation and kind words.. i miss u all even more!
You turn away, walking back the direction you came and not at all bothering to see if Chan was trailing after you or not. Your feet move hurriedly, curses steadily leaving your lips and quietly being taken away by the trickles of wind.
āWhere are we going?ā
You jolt, taken from your thoughts with not any grace, and glare at your unwanted companion. āIām going home, I donāt know where youāre going.ā
āWith you, of course,ā Chan laughs, grabbing your hand and pulling you closer. āWe can go get started with this bet right. now.ā He whispers, with a voice thick and soft like honey. You feel goosebumps run down your spine that you pointedly ignore, though looking back you wonder why you hadnāt ripped your hand from his.
āAs if, I have somewhere to be after I drop this stupid packet off at home.ā
āSo let me come with you.ā
āNo,ā You drawl, shaking your head violently. āDo you all just not know when youāre not wanted or do you just not care?ā
āWe just donāt care,ā Chan laughs, gripping your hand tighter. He falls into step beside you, and you watch as he tilts his head upwards towards the sun. His eyes graze along the scenery, never stopping long enough to be considered staring, but slow enough in its movement so that itās obvious heās appreciating what he sees. āIāll behave.ā
Sorry to bother, I was just wondering if CSC was still in the works?
donāt worry itās not a bother, I left yāall hanging for a year and iām sorry about that so i canāt be mad at you being curious but yes iām writing chanās part right now. I was busy with life, went through a lot of writers block, but iām happy to share that I donāt wanna give up on it anytime soon.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Quality
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Red lights make Satoru dizzy, but the promise of whatās to come allows him to ignore it. The lights flicker and his vision fights with itself to focus. He barely registers the hand sliding up his pants when his eyes flutter shut, his drink teetering over the edge of his glass and threatening to spill on the expensive leather. Itās the least of his worries, though, because all thatās on his mind is you.
GENRE: exes to lovers?, PORN with a little plot, angst (?) PAIRING: ex!gojo x afab!reader WC: 2.8k RATING: 18+
WARNINGS: mentions of a past toxic relationship, satoru wants you back, you are having none of it. but he's really hot, just really horny and a bit dark. sex club, banter, lust/hate relationship, praise, pussy eating, oral!m & f receiving, rough makeout sessions, mentions of drinking and smoking, dirty talk, unprotected sex, cum eating, petnames kinda, dom!satoru, sub!reader, messy sex, size kink, teasing, edging, begging, slight humiliation, hickeys, breeding kink, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, questionable words from satoru at the end.
A/N: this is a story me and one of my close friends wrote together a while back and i was rereading it and though gojo would fit this perfectly
Red lights give Satoru a headache. His eyes strain to see in the otherwise darkened room, the people around him just a mass of blurry figures grinding and moving against each other like a human version of dogs in heat.
Red lights make Satoru dizzy, but the promise of whatās to come allows him to ignore it. The lights flicker and his vision fights with itself to focus. He barely registers the hand sliding up his pants when his eyes flutter shut, his drink teetering over the edge of his glass and threatening to spill on the expensive leather. Itās the least of his worries, though, because all thatās on his mind is you.
Does he regret how things ended? Yeah, maybe a little, but thatās just how things are. He canāt help his nature and he canāt give you the perfect loving boyfriend that you want. It just isnāt him. He does miss you, and if you took him back he wouldnāt complain, but he already knows what would be in store if you did. Screaming matches every night, leaving and not coming back until late the next day, fighting and making up over and over. And then sex. lots and lots of sex. His favorite part if he had to choose.
Heās not keen on hearing you scream at him while heās nursing a hangover like he quite often is, and neither were your neighbors. Going on and on until the birds started to sing and your voice was coming out hoarse. The exhaustion was clear on your face, the resignation that this was never going to work. After a while he was just waiting for you to give up and finally walk out like you should have done a long time ago, until you actually did.
Not even a goodbye. A fuck you before driving off. Nothing. And that hurt more than anything else ever could. So does he miss you? Hell fucking yes. Would he do things differently this time around? He has no idea, and somehow thatās reason enough for him to know everything would go to shit if you two did start again. He just isnāt made to love, only made to hurt, and he has enough of something in his heart where he wonāt make you go through that again.
He doesn't know why heās here. Partying every night is nothing new to him and heād probably be at this club tonight anyway, but the reason he is still has him pacing in his mind and wondering if he should just leave now before he fucks everything up like he usually does.
Itās not often you ask him for favors. He didnāt think he would ever hear you ask for anything ever again, so when you asked him to meet you at Le coĆÆt, the most expensive club in the city, he said yes.
Now he has one girl whispering in his ear and another slipping her fingers into his open dress shirt. His head lolls on the backrest of the couch, his legs spread wide inviting anyone interested to take their spot between them when he spots you. Hair fluffed out, eyes shadowed by dark eyeliner, and lips a deep scarlet red. Youāre standing over him, looking down at him like a mother would look at her naughty child. He smirks. āHey, doll.ā
Looking over at him you canāt help but wonder if you made a mistake. After all, who calls their toxic ex over to them instead of running the opposite direction? Heās still as sexy as ever, and even more promiscuous after abandoning the facade of ever being faithful.
He sits up when you donāt respond, shrugging the two girls that were draped over him into either side of the couch. They roll their eyes before standing up and sneering at you on their way out. You roll your eyes, āCanāt you control your little hoochies?ā
āNot my fucking problem.ā
You send a glare his way and he just stares at you from under hooded eyes as if heās examining, assessing how much youāve changed over the last seven months. āI met you here. What the fuck else do you want?ā He snaps, standing up to leer over you.
āI want you to act like you at least have a semblance of decency, and not be a dick for two seconds.ā You grit, looking him in the eyes just long enough to see him laugh.
āBut isnāt that what you liked best about me?ā
You look down, the subject of your sharp look being the outline in his jeans. āYeah,ā you say sweetly.
He pauses, lost for words, until āWhat do you want?ā He growls, lips pressed together tightly.
āOh please,ā you tease, ādonāt act like Iām sneaking up on you and you didnāt practically jump at the chance to meet me.ā Satoru rolls his eyes, his jaw clenching and the only thing he wants to do is keep fighting, especially if that means he gets to talk to you longer.
āI have a proposition for you.ā
āWhich is?ā
āI- I want us toā¦ā You stammer, and for a moment Satoru sees past the front youāve put up and the girl he remembers. The one it was just too easy to make his own, following whatever he said until you finally put your foot down. āI want you to fuck me,ā You grit, āAt least to remind me of the one thing you always did right.ā
He canāt help the laugh that leaves his throat. āWow,ā he grins, āYouāve seeked me out for a hookup?ā
You shuffle your feet, switching your weight from one foot to the other. āIf youāre gonna give me a hard time, Iāll pay you and you can act like you donāt want it just as much as me.ā
āPay me,ā He huffs, ālike I'm some whore on the street?ā
āCouldāve fooled me.ā
His eyes cut daggers into your own, but you donāt back down. He relinquished any power he had over you a long time ago.
āFine.ā
You shouldnāt, but youāre too pent up to care. When Satoruās fingers slip under the waistband of your leather skirt, all you can think about is how good heās going to make you feel. Your arms wrap around his neck and your fingers slide into his hair and grab. His mouth opens and a puff of air is visible in the smoke that leaves his mouth. You smirk, bringing him closer and pressing your lips together. A kiss much too tender for a causal hookup between two exes in one of the private rooms of a sex club, but Satoru fists your shirt and pulls you impossibly closer. His fingers dig into your hips as he kisses you like a man starved.
Itās sloppy, messy as ever as spit slicks your chin and you huff into his mouth, stepping backwards and tripping over the edge of the couch. You hate fucking on leather but Satoru loves it. His hand trails down past the hem of your skirt and trails along your bare skin, feather light touches that leave goosebumps in their wake and send a shiver up your spine. He pushes your legs down harshly, spreading them wide enough for him to slot himself between them. He hasnāt stopped kissing you and you can barely breathe, sliding your hand out of his hair and clawing at his back, gripping his silk shirt and tearing at it with your nails. You drag it upwards with an unspoken message of off off off.
He sneaks a hand over your neck and pushes your head upwards and into the couch. His breath ghosts over your skin, fruity and sweet from alcohol, before he sinks down and nips at your neck. You hear yourself moan before you register the harsh kisses heās trailing along your neck, ripping open the white blouse you put on for the first time today and trailing kisses along your chest. He bites and sucks and licks over the marks heās sure to have left before he finally pulls his shirt over his head.
You drag your fingers against his skin. You know the warm honey tone even if you canāt see it, the red lights casting a dark shadow over his features. His hair covers his eyes as he looks down at you, and you canāt even see the whites of his pupils from this angle. You canāt help the gasp that leaves your mouth, heās like a devil clad in leather eating you from the inside out and making you his.
āYouāre absolutely sinful,ā he slurs, the movement of his spit slicked lips slowed by the lasting effects of whatever narcotics heās spent his night taking. Satoru stares down at youā the way your hair fans out and your lashes flutter under his attention. Your lips are swollen and wet, open just wide enough for him to slip a finger inside. He does just that, slotting his thumb between your lips and pushing your top lip up, fighting the urge to drool over how plump they are. He canāt help but remember how full they look around his cock.
You moan around his finger, closing his lips around him when he allows, and suckle on his skin. The pleasure he gets from that alone has precum dribbling in his tight pants, the outline of his heavy cock visible to anyone who looked close enough. He shuts his eyes and sighs, slouching against you. Your legs bracket his waist and his crotch is right in front of your entrance. Your skirt rides up your waist so the view of your pussy and sopping panties is in plain sight, practically begging for pleasure.
He drags a ringed finger up your fold through your underwear, and your legs fight to close. Youāre so sensitive from almost nothing at all, and a strangled moan leaves your mouth when he takes his thumb and pushes it against your clit, rubbing it through the fabric. The pleasure is muffled but still has you whimpering against him, crying out when he slots his lips against yours.
You break apart from the kiss and dart your tongue and swipe it across his lips. He hisses, his eyes snapping open and you lean closer and peck his lips, begging, āJust fuck me, please. A-and then we can go our separate ways just.. justāā
Breaths coming out ragged and sharp, Satoru cuts you off and smashes his lips against yours practically growling and ravenous as he pulls you impossibly closer. Your moans and whines leave your mouth like a garbled mess and Satoru doesnāt stop.
He pulls your underwear down leaving it dangling on your ankle as he creeps closer to your dripping cunt. āIāll give you whatever you want,ā he sighs, and the cool air on your sensitive folds has your eyes fluttering shut.
Contrary to what you expect, he brings his fingers back against you, rubbing at your swollen nub as your eyes slip closed and you go slack against the sticky leather. A lusty haze settles over you like a dank fog seeping into your pores and taking over. Satoruās fingers only speed up slightly, just enough to keep the arousal bubbling in your belly constant. Your hips jerk against him and you grind against his fingers, whining pitifully when it still isnāt enough.
āWanna see you fuck yourself on my fingers and show me how badly you want to come,ā Satoru groans in your ear and your hips stutter as a long whine spills from your lips. āCan you do that for me?ā
āYes, yes,ā you slur, grabbing at his shoulders for support as you move your hips faster.
āGood girl.ā
You whimper, and everything fades as you feel the knots in your stomach clench, your climax approaching steadily. You feel cum leak down your legs and onto the couch, but Satoru doesnāt stop. Only now does he speed up and your hips speed up with him. When the warmth leaves you and your hips shake, you cry out and Satoru finally stops, taking his wet fingers and putting them in his mouth.
Satoru groans at the taste, and almost loses his mind at the wet spot where you lay, your arousal still leaking down your legs. You felt his hands grab at your cheeks, massaging the flesh before leaning in and licking a stripe across your center. You yelped, grabbing onto his shoulders as he continued working on you, sucking dutifully on your clit and running his tongue up and down between your folds.
āOhā¦ā
Satoru pulls off and groans, āYou taste so good.ā
Your hand runs shakily through his hair, grabbing at the loose strands and pulling him up. āI want you to fuck me,ā You groan, your lips wobbly and your eyes hazy where they meet his.
āOh baby,ā he tsks, āYou still have some work to do, donāt you?ā He pulls your hand from his hair and leans up, making quick work of unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down. Thereās a wet spot in his boxers from pre cum and his cock springs out when he pulls them down. You feel your mouth go dry, his cock clean and pretty just like him, flushed and wet at the tip. The red lights become second nature and you barely notice them when they bounce off his skin and he leans forward dragging you down by your ankles.
āSuck.ā He commands, pushing your head forward and dragging his heavy length over your lips. Your whines are muffled when he shoves it inside and you gag, too heavy and too big and much too quick. Your lips wrap around him sucking gently, your tongue lapping against the tip. Pre cum coats your tongue and you sink down even further, your throat closing and your nose tickled by pubic hair.
Satoru groans from above you, your hair in a vice grip as he steadily pushes you on and off his cock. His mouth hangs open and his eyes flutter as you work on him sucking and kissing all over his pretty, flushed skin. You canāt help the moan that leaves your mouth and the vibrations against his sensitive crotch has him jerking against you.
āFuck,ā he moans, āYou were made just for me.ā
You sob in his hold, it comes out choked and watery but he smirks all the same before pulling you off and pushing you backwards. His biceps flex when he grabs your thighs and turns you over, your cheek pressed into the sticky cushionā your back arched and legs spread wide. He smooths his hand over your arch before pulling back and spreading you wide and slotting his dick inside with no warning.
He stretches you out so well, a moan punching its way out your throat as he buries himself in your tight heat. His fingers dig into your skin so hard you cry out in pain but he doesnāt let up, determined to have you walking home with bruises that spell out his name.
āDo you know how much Iāve missed you?ā He growls, thrusting into you particular harshly when you cry out. āThinking you can just walk away from me?ā He says it almost like heās shocked. He pushes your head down into the cushion, and his dick pushes even deeper. When you reach a hand down you can feel the imprint where his tip lays as he thrusts in slow and deep.
Your cheek is amused against the chair and drool pools out your mouth. You canāt think past anything but full. You're so, so, full. Satoru always knows just what you need to feel good.
You canāt stop your moans as he thrusts in and out of your sopping wet pussy. The sound of his cock drilling in you and stirring your arousal is filthy and rings in your ears, but the shame isnāt enough to stop you from moving your hips back and meeting him thrust for thrust. You can feel your orgasm creeping up on you and Satoruās as well as his thrust become sloppier and lose their rhythm.
Satoru groans and you feel his cum paint your walls. Your orgasm follows when he thrusts lazily into you, riding his orgasm and continuing to cum deep inside.You try to protest but your body racks with shivers and you canāt stop cumming. Satoru laughs above you and leaves a heavy smack on your ass, and you can feel the skin heat up under his touch. He pulls out and you feel the mixture of your release dribble down your front. Your hips are still stuck in the air, frozen, while your body continues to shake.
āI did a number on you huh, baby.ā Satoru teases, before leaning down and leaving a lazy kiss against you. Youāre too fucked out to reciprocate and the smirk that adorns Satoruās face is borderline cruel. āI turned you into my own stupid slut, didnāt I?ā He laughs, smoothing his hand through your hair.
āYou know you canāt stay away for long.ā
You feel his lips press your cheek before everything goes dark.
When you were young, you were friends with a neighborhood boy who liked the same things as you. Both of you were dirt poor, but it didn't seem to matter; as long as you had each other, there was always a make-believe adventure right around the corner. He grew up to be a star actor and, now that he's wealthy beyond imagination, seems to have forgotten where he came from. You haven't talked to him in years, but now heās back, for reasons unknown to you, where you reconnect and reintroduce him to the life he left behind. (original prompt)
This is a little something I started writing last year, itās actually the last thing I wrote and actually liked, before I seemed to forget how to. Iāve tried and tried to make it into something more but maybe itās time for me to let go of it so I can let something new make itās way in.
pairing: hyunjin x f!reader
genre: romance? very pg
word count: 1.5k
warnings: just feels
missed u guys <3
p.s listen to it almost worked by tv girl for a better reading experience !
You never understood Hyunjin. Not after all those years when you were kids and especially not now. Not when youād seen him cry every year on his birthday, not when heād tried and failed to be friends with every newcomer in town, not when heād stopped talking to you for days after you made fun of his dirt-caked sneakers (Iām sorry Hyunjin, I thought Iād earned that privilege!), and especially not when heād left you, nineteen years old with not even a look back as he left to be something great while you were stuck being the younger version of your parentsā a nobody.
Youād watched him grow up. You watched him mature from the young boy he was and into a man, and in turn heād watched you as well. You were there when his voice deepened, when his mole started to fadeā you were there when his eyebrows thickened and he lost all his baby fat. You were there when he had a huge growth spurt that left him hovering over you more often than not, even when you had always been the tallest. And in turn, heād watched you. He was there when you decided to grow your hair out and also when youād decided to cut itā he was there when youād started to grow in your body and boys and girls started to take noticeā he was there when youād found something you loved, and he was there when your heart broke for the first time.
You were there to watch him bloomā standing by his side all the while as he didā knowing somewhere deep in your heart that he was meant for much more than the shoddy town you both had grown up in. It wasnāt horrible, no, youād had a lot of fun growing up there. You never lacked fun, or something to do, or friends to make, but it wasnāt a place for flourishing.
It was a place where everyone knew everyone, where everyone went to the same spot to get alcohol, where everyone knew the best spot to get a fake ID; it was a place where the older generation couldnāt fathom why anyone would want a place in the city, where the docks still held old boats from the 70ās and the houses still held the same structure from years ago. It was a great town, one that held memories, but one that lacked growth.
You were there when Hyunjin flourished, when he grew so tall and bloomed so wide that he could no longer fit in your shoddy little town. When his wings spread so far that if he stayed heād have to slouch a littleā crouch down just to fit in. You were there when he found something he loved, when he found the one thing that made him happiest, when he found a dream to chase after.
You were there through his firstsā when heād gotten his first job, his first rejection, when heād gotten his first bad grade and his first perfect grade. You were there when the first argument with his parents turned into frequent ones. You were there during his drama lessons, during his practices, you were there when people would tell him he would never amount to anythingā when people said heād be a failure just like his parentsā and you were also the one to stand up for him, throwing your first punch in his honor.
You never understood Hyunjin but you knew him. How heād pick holes into his jeans when he was nervous, and dye his hair when he was really angryā how heād sometimes just give you a hug, no warning and no words, just his warm embrace and for seemingly no reason at all, but you knew. You knew how he laughed when he was really happy, when he was being fake, when he laughed something small and sad. You knew what every twitch of his brows meant. You knew what he was trying to say when heād look at you and his lips would quirk up for a split secondā that was all you needed to know what he was trying to say without really saying it. You never understood your best friend, but you knew him. He was yours, and you were his. You didnāt need to understand because you knew. You were there.
You both liked to play the same video games, and every day after school youād play before pulling out your homework. On the first day of school and every friday afterwards youād both wear matching T-shirtsā and whenever youād manage to scrape up any money that was always what you spent it on. Something you both could match with. Weekends at the arcade in the next town over, going to the fair in the summer every single day until it closed for the year, swimming in the lake behind your house on the hottest summer days. Going to Mielleās Diner like it was the best treat that your young minds could ever dream of. You both watched the same movies over and over again and would cry at the same exact parts. Youād read books together and yell at each other about them all the while, and watch whatever new drama was out ā falling head over heels for the leads.
Now, the Hyunjin you see is a stranger. Twenty-six years to your twenty-four, heās unrecognizableā in the way he dresses, in the way he talks, in the way he movesā even in the way he breathes. Itās clear that you no longer know Hwang Hyunjin from eight years ago. And of course thatās normal. After eight years you might not recognize what used to be your favorite song, or your childhood dog, your favorite TV showā if you hadnāt seen your parents in eight years you might not recognize themā but for you, someone who had always believed you and Hyunjin would be best friends foreverā as childish as it was, looking at Hyunjin now feels like betrayal. Like heartbreak, one much worse than what made you stay all those years agoā it feels like coming home after a long day just to see your stuff thrown on the porch. It feels like going on a date expecting a proposal only to be broken up with. It feels like getting rejected from your dream school.
Seeing Hyunjin now isnāt familiar. Youāve seen him every once in a while on TV, in a magazine, in a cameo of your favorite showā but that wasnāt Hyunjin. Not your Hyunjin. That wasnāt the Hyunjin that used to throw rocks at your window and help you sneak out to go to karaoke. That wasnāt the Hyunjin that would always come to the diner where you worked and tip extra with the money he barely had. That wasnāt the Hyunjin that bought you your first pair of sneakers after fifteen years of hand-me-downs. That wasnāt the Hyunjin whoād rubbed your back and cried with you on the worst day of your life.
Yet, somehow, it is him. In the way he laughs, in the way he stands just a few inches taller than you, in the way his lips curve up and dimples form in a way youād never seen before. Itās in the way he says āheyā and wraps you up in a hug like those eight years were really only eight secondsā as if he was just coming back from a week long vacation. Itās him in the way he brings warmth everywhere he goes, embracing you so tightly, so utterly comforting, that it feels like youāve been rolled up inside a heated blanket on a cold, winter day. Youāve seen him every once in a while, on TV, in a magazine, and realizedā that is him. It was him in an interview with dogs, cuddling and cooing at them for twenty minutes straight. It was him doing a tour of his home, books littered everywhere, canvases with the most intricate designs on his walls, it was him, when he still lit up at the sight of anything newā because those things donāt go away. Those old habits and interests that are ingrained so deep; so painfully deep, donāt just go away.
Seeing Hyunjin again is like finding a forgotten trinket in the back of your closet, like finding your favorite book or shirt after monthsā years, evenā of thinking youād lost it forever. Itās a sudden bout of nostalgia, a remembrance of something you used to love, something you cherished. But maybe the shirt doesnāt fit you anymore. Maybe the book doesnāt interest you. Seeing Hyunjin is like thatā someone you used to love more than anyone; someone you used to cherish, but heās a thing from the past, and eventually youād always lose those items again. Theyād lay in the darkness of the deepest corners of your closet, waiting for the chance to be found again or forgotten forever.
You donāt think seeing Hyunjin again is much different, except youāre the thing in the closet, and youāre fine with being forgotten.
Itās been eight years. You never understood Hyunjin, but you knew him. You knew each other better than anyone else could, but the Hyunjin you see today is a stranger. This is not the Hyunjin you know, and you hope he leaves as quickly as he came so your heart canāt be broken for a third time.
When you were young, you were friends with a neighborhood boy who liked the same things as you. Both of you were dirt poor, but it didn't seem to matter; as long as you had each other, there was always a make-believe adventure right around the corner. He grew up to be a star actor and, now that he's wealthy beyond imagination, seems to have forgotten where he came from. You haven't talked to him in years, but now heās back, for reasons unknown to you, where you reconnect and reintroduce him to the life he left behind. (original prompt)
This is a little something I started writing last year, itās actually the last thing I wrote and actually liked, before I seemed to forget how to. Iāve tried and tried to make it into something more but maybe itās time for me to let go of it so I can let something new make itās way in.
pairing: hyunjin x f!reader
genre: romance? very pg
word count: 1.5k
warnings: just feels
missed u guys <3
p.s listen to it almost worked by tv girl for a better reading experience !
You never understood Hyunjin. Not after all those years when you were kids and especially not now. Not when youād seen him cry every year on his birthday, not when heād tried and failed to be friends with every newcomer in town, not when heād stopped talking to you for days after you made fun of his dirt-caked sneakers (Iām sorry Hyunjin, I thought Iād earned that privilege!), and especially not when heād left you, nineteen years old with not even a look back as he left to be something great while you were stuck being the younger version of your parentsā a nobody.
Youād watched him grow up. You watched him mature from the young boy he was and into a man, and in turn heād watched you as well. You were there when his voice deepened, when his mole started to fadeā you were there when his eyebrows thickened and he lost all his baby fat. You were there when he had a huge growth spurt that left him hovering over you more often than not, even when you had always been the tallest. And in turn, heād watched you. He was there when you decided to grow your hair out and also when youād decided to cut itā he was there when youād started to grow in your body and boys and girls started to take noticeā he was there when youād found something you loved, and he was there when your heart broke for the first time.
You were there to watch him bloomā standing by his side all the while as he didā knowing somewhere deep in your heart that he was meant for much more than the shoddy town you both had grown up in. It wasnāt horrible, no, youād had a lot of fun growing up there. You never lacked fun, or something to do, or friends to make, but it wasnāt a place for flourishing.
It was a place where everyone knew everyone, where everyone went to the same spot to get alcohol, where everyone knew the best spot to get a fake ID; it was a place where the older generation couldnāt fathom why anyone would want a place in the city, where the docks still held old boats from the 70ās and the houses still held the same structure from years ago. It was a great town, one that held memories, but one that lacked growth.
You were there when Hyunjin flourished, when he grew so tall and bloomed so wide that he could no longer fit in your shoddy little town. When his wings spread so far that if he stayed heād have to slouch a littleā crouch down just to fit in. You were there when he found something he loved, when he found the one thing that made him happiest, when he found a dream to chase after.
You were there through his firstsā when heād gotten his first job, his first rejection, when heād gotten his first bad grade and his first perfect grade. You were there when the first argument with his parents turned into frequent ones. You were there during his drama lessons, during his practices, you were there when people would tell him he would never amount to anythingā when people said heād be a failure just like his parentsā and you were also the one to stand up for him, throwing your first punch in his honor.
You never understood Hyunjin but you knew him. How heād pick holes into his jeans when he was nervous, and dye his hair when he was really angryā how heād sometimes just give you a hug, no warning and no words, just his warm embrace and for seemingly no reason at all, but you knew. You knew how he laughed when he was really happy, when he was being fake, when he laughed something small and sad. You knew what every twitch of his brows meant. You knew what he was trying to say when heād look at you and his lips would quirk up for a split secondā that was all you needed to know what he was trying to say without really saying it. You never understood your best friend, but you knew him. He was yours, and you were his. You didnāt need to understand because you knew. You were there.
You both liked to play the same video games, and every day after school youād play before pulling out your homework. On the first day of school and every friday afterwards youād both wear matching T-shirtsā and whenever youād manage to scrape up any money that was always what you spent it on. Something you both could match with. Weekends at the arcade in the next town over, going to the fair in the summer every single day until it closed for the year, swimming in the lake behind your house on the hottest summer days. Going to Mielleās Diner like it was the best treat that your young minds could ever dream of. You both watched the same movies over and over again and would cry at the same exact parts. Youād read books together and yell at each other about them all the while, and watch whatever new drama was out ā falling head over heels for the leads.
Now, the Hyunjin you see is a stranger. Twenty-six years to your twenty-four, heās unrecognizableā in the way he dresses, in the way he talks, in the way he movesā even in the way he breathes. Itās clear that you no longer know Hwang Hyunjin from eight years ago. And of course thatās normal. After eight years you might not recognize what used to be your favorite song, or your childhood dog, your favorite TV showā if you hadnāt seen your parents in eight years you might not recognize themā but for you, someone who had always believed you and Hyunjin would be best friends foreverā as childish as it was, looking at Hyunjin now feels like betrayal. Like heartbreak, one much worse than what made you stay all those years agoā it feels like coming home after a long day just to see your stuff thrown on the porch. It feels like going on a date expecting a proposal only to be broken up with. It feels like getting rejected from your dream school.
Seeing Hyunjin now isnāt familiar. Youāve seen him every once in a while on TV, in a magazine, in a cameo of your favorite showā but that wasnāt Hyunjin. Not your Hyunjin. That wasnāt the Hyunjin that used to throw rocks at your window and help you sneak out to go to karaoke. That wasnāt the Hyunjin that would always come to the diner where you worked and tip extra with the money he barely had. That wasnāt the Hyunjin that bought you your first pair of sneakers after fifteen years of hand-me-downs. That wasnāt the Hyunjin whoād rubbed your back and cried with you on the worst day of your life.
Yet, somehow, it is him. In the way he laughs, in the way he stands just a few inches taller than you, in the way his lips curve up and dimples form in a way youād never seen before. Itās in the way he says āheyā and wraps you up in a hug like those eight years were really only eight secondsā as if he was just coming back from a week long vacation. Itās him in the way he brings warmth everywhere he goes, embracing you so tightly, so utterly comforting, that it feels like youāve been rolled up inside a heated blanket on a cold, winter day. Youāve seen him every once in a while, on TV, in a magazine, and realizedā that is him. It was him in an interview with dogs, cuddling and cooing at them for twenty minutes straight. It was him doing a tour of his home, books littered everywhere, canvases with the most intricate designs on his walls, it was him, when he still lit up at the sight of anything newā because those things donāt go away. Those old habits and interests that are ingrained so deep; so painfully deep, donāt just go away.
Seeing Hyunjin again is like finding a forgotten trinket in the back of your closet, like finding your favorite book or shirt after monthsā years, evenā of thinking youād lost it forever. Itās a sudden bout of nostalgia, a remembrance of something you used to love, something you cherished. But maybe the shirt doesnāt fit you anymore. Maybe the book doesnāt interest you. Seeing Hyunjin is like thatā someone you used to love more than anyone; someone you used to cherish, but heās a thing from the past, and eventually youād always lose those items again. Theyād lay in the darkness of the deepest corners of your closet, waiting for the chance to be found again or forgotten forever.
You donāt think seeing Hyunjin again is much different, except youāre the thing in the closet, and youāre fine with being forgotten.
Itās been eight years. You never understood Hyunjin, but you knew him. You knew each other better than anyone else could, but the Hyunjin you see today is a stranger. This is not the Hyunjin you know, and you hope he leaves as quickly as he came so your heart canāt be broken for a third time.
When you were young, you were friends with a neighborhood boy who liked the same things as you. Both of you were dirt poor, but it didn't seem to matter; as long as you had each other, there was always a make-believe adventure right around the corner. He grew up to be a star actor and, now that he's wealthy beyond imagination, seems to have forgotten where he came from. You haven't talked to him in years, but now heās back, for reasons unknown to you, where you reconnect and reintroduce him to the life he left behind. (original prompt)
This is a little something I started writing last year, itās actually the last thing I wrote and actually liked, before I seemed to forget how to. Iāve tried and tried to make it into something more but maybe itās time for me to let go of it so I can let something new make itās way in.
pairing: hyunjin x f!reader
genre: romance? very pg
word count: 1.5k
warnings: just feels
missed u guys <3
p.s listen to it almost worked by tv girl for a better reading experience !
You never understood Hyunjin. Not after all those years when you were kids and especially not now. Not when youād seen him cry every year on his birthday, not when heād tried and failed to be friends with every newcomer in town, not when heād stopped talking to you for days after you made fun of his dirt-caked sneakers (Iām sorry Hyunjin, I thought Iād earned that privilege!), and especially not when heād left you, nineteen years old with not even a look back as he left to be something great while you were stuck being the younger version of your parentsā a nobody.
Youād watched him grow up. You watched him mature from the young boy he was and into a man, and in turn heād watched you as well. You were there when his voice deepened, when his mole started to fadeā you were there when his eyebrows thickened and he lost all his baby fat. You were there when he had a huge growth spurt that left him hovering over you more often than not, even when you had always been the tallest. And in turn, heād watched you. He was there when you decided to grow your hair out and also when youād decided to cut itā he was there when youād started to grow in your body and boys and girls started to take noticeā he was there when youād found something you loved, and he was there when your heart broke for the first time.
You were there to watch him bloomā standing by his side all the while as he didā knowing somewhere deep in your heart that he was meant for much more than the shoddy town you both had grown up in. It wasnāt horrible, no, youād had a lot of fun growing up there. You never lacked fun, or something to do, or friends to make, but it wasnāt a place for flourishing.
It was a place where everyone knew everyone, where everyone went to the same spot to get alcohol, where everyone knew the best spot to get a fake ID; it was a place where the older generation couldnāt fathom why anyone would want a place in the city, where the docks still held old boats from the 70ās and the houses still held the same structure from years ago. It was a great town, one that held memories, but one that lacked growth.
You were there when Hyunjin flourished, when he grew so tall and bloomed so wide that he could no longer fit in your shoddy little town. When his wings spread so far that if he stayed heād have to slouch a littleā crouch down just to fit in. You were there when he found something he loved, when he found the one thing that made him happiest, when he found a dream to chase after.
You were there through his firstsā when heād gotten his first job, his first rejection, when heād gotten his first bad grade and his first perfect grade. You were there when the first argument with his parents turned into frequent ones. You were there during his drama lessons, during his practices, you were there when people would tell him he would never amount to anythingā when people said heād be a failure just like his parentsā and you were also the one to stand up for him, throwing your first punch in his honor.
You never understood Hyunjin but you knew him. How heād pick holes into his jeans when he was nervous, and dye his hair when he was really angryā how heād sometimes just give you a hug, no warning and no words, just his warm embrace and for seemingly no reason at all, but you knew. You knew how he laughed when he was really happy, when he was being fake, when he laughed something small and sad. You knew what every twitch of his brows meant. You knew what he was trying to say when heād look at you and his lips would quirk up for a split secondā that was all you needed to know what he was trying to say without really saying it. You never understood your best friend, but you knew him. He was yours, and you were his. You didnāt need to understand because you knew. You were there.
You both liked to play the same video games, and every day after school youād play before pulling out your homework. On the first day of school and every friday afterwards youād both wear matching T-shirtsā and whenever youād manage to scrape up any money that was always what you spent it on. Something you both could match with. Weekends at the arcade in the next town over, going to the fair in the summer every single day until it closed for the year, swimming in the lake behind your house on the hottest summer days. Going to Mielleās Diner like it was the best treat that your young minds could ever dream of. You both watched the same movies over and over again and would cry at the same exact parts. Youād read books together and yell at each other about them all the while, and watch whatever new drama was out ā falling head over heels for the leads.
Now, the Hyunjin you see is a stranger. Twenty-six years to your twenty-four, heās unrecognizableā in the way he dresses, in the way he talks, in the way he movesā even in the way he breathes. Itās clear that you no longer know Hwang Hyunjin from eight years ago. And of course thatās normal. After eight years you might not recognize what used to be your favorite song, or your childhood dog, your favorite TV showā if you hadnāt seen your parents in eight years you might not recognize themā but for you, someone who had always believed you and Hyunjin would be best friends foreverā as childish as it was, looking at Hyunjin now feels like betrayal. Like heartbreak, one much worse than what made you stay all those years agoā it feels like coming home after a long day just to see your stuff thrown on the porch. It feels like going on a date expecting a proposal only to be broken up with. It feels like getting rejected from your dream school.
Seeing Hyunjin now isnāt familiar. Youāve seen him every once in a while on TV, in a magazine, in a cameo of your favorite showā but that wasnāt Hyunjin. Not your Hyunjin. That wasnāt the Hyunjin that used to throw rocks at your window and help you sneak out to go to karaoke. That wasnāt the Hyunjin that would always come to the diner where you worked and tip extra with the money he barely had. That wasnāt the Hyunjin that bought you your first pair of sneakers after fifteen years of hand-me-downs. That wasnāt the Hyunjin whoād rubbed your back and cried with you on the worst day of your life.
Yet, somehow, it is him. In the way he laughs, in the way he stands just a few inches taller than you, in the way his lips curve up and dimples form in a way youād never seen before. Itās in the way he says āheyā and wraps you up in a hug like those eight years were really only eight secondsā as if he was just coming back from a week long vacation. Itās him in the way he brings warmth everywhere he goes, embracing you so tightly, so utterly comforting, that it feels like youāve been rolled up inside a heated blanket on a cold, winter day. Youāve seen him every once in a while, on TV, in a magazine, and realizedā that is him. It was him in an interview with dogs, cuddling and cooing at them for twenty minutes straight. It was him doing a tour of his home, books littered everywhere, canvases with the most intricate designs on his walls, it was him, when he still lit up at the sight of anything newā because those things donāt go away. Those old habits and interests that are ingrained so deep; so painfully deep, donāt just go away.
Seeing Hyunjin again is like finding a forgotten trinket in the back of your closet, like finding your favorite book or shirt after monthsā years, evenā of thinking youād lost it forever. Itās a sudden bout of nostalgia, a remembrance of something you used to love, something you cherished. But maybe the shirt doesnāt fit you anymore. Maybe the book doesnāt interest you. Seeing Hyunjin is like thatā someone you used to love more than anyone; someone you used to cherish, but heās a thing from the past, and eventually youād always lose those items again. Theyād lay in the darkness of the deepest corners of your closet, waiting for the chance to be found again or forgotten forever.
You donāt think seeing Hyunjin again is much different, except youāre the thing in the closet, and youāre fine with being forgotten.
Itās been eight years. You never understood Hyunjin, but you knew him. You knew each other better than anyone else could, but the Hyunjin you see today is a stranger. This is not the Hyunjin you know, and you hope he leaves as quickly as he came so your heart canāt be broken for a third time.
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When you were young, you were friends with a neighborhood boy who liked the same things as you. Both of you were dirt poor, but it didn't seem to matter; as long as you had each other, there was always a make-believe adventure right around the corner. He grew up to be a star actor and, now that he's wealthy beyond imagination, seems to have forgotten where he came from. You haven't talked to him in years, but now heās back, for reasons unknown to you, where you reconnect and reintroduce him to the life he left behind. (original prompt)
This is a little something I started writing last year, itās actually the last thing I wrote and actually liked, before I seemed to forget how to. Iāve tried and tried to make it into something more but maybe itās time for me to let go of it so I can let something new make itās way in.
pairing: hyunjin x f!reader
genre: romance? very pg
word count: 1.5k
warnings: just feels
missed u guys <3
p.s listen to it almost worked by tv girl for a better reading experience !
You never understood Hyunjin. Not after all those years when you were kids and especially not now. Not when youād seen him cry every year on his birthday, not when heād tried and failed to be friends with every newcomer in town, not when heād stopped talking to you for days after you made fun of his dirt-caked sneakers (Iām sorry Hyunjin, I thought Iād earned that privilege!), and especially not when heād left you, nineteen years old with not even a look back as he left to be something great while you were stuck being the younger version of your parentsā a nobody.
Youād watched him grow up. You watched him mature from the young boy he was and into a man, and in turn heād watched you as well. You were there when his voice deepened, when his mole started to fadeā you were there when his eyebrows thickened and he lost all his baby fat. You were there when he had a huge growth spurt that left him hovering over you more often than not, even when you had always been the tallest. And in turn, heād watched you. He was there when you decided to grow your hair out and also when youād decided to cut itā he was there when youād started to grow in your body and boys and girls started to take noticeā he was there when youād found something you loved, and he was there when your heart broke for the first time.
You were there to watch him bloomā standing by his side all the while as he didā knowing somewhere deep in your heart that he was meant for much more than the shoddy town you both had grown up in. It wasnāt horrible, no, youād had a lot of fun growing up there. You never lacked fun, or something to do, or friends to make, but it wasnāt a place for flourishing.
It was a place where everyone knew everyone, where everyone went to the same spot to get alcohol, where everyone knew the best spot to get a fake ID; it was a place where the older generation couldnāt fathom why anyone would want a place in the city, where the docks still held old boats from the 70ās and the houses still held the same structure from years ago. It was a great town, one that held memories, but one that lacked growth.
You were there when Hyunjin flourished, when he grew so tall and bloomed so wide that he could no longer fit in your shoddy little town. When his wings spread so far that if he stayed heād have to slouch a littleā crouch down just to fit in. You were there when he found something he loved, when he found the one thing that made him happiest, when he found a dream to chase after.
You were there through his firstsā when heād gotten his first job, his first rejection, when heād gotten his first bad grade and his first perfect grade. You were there when the first argument with his parents turned into frequent ones. You were there during his drama lessons, during his practices, you were there when people would tell him he would never amount to anythingā when people said heād be a failure just like his parentsā and you were also the one to stand up for him, throwing your first punch in his honor.
You never understood Hyunjin but you knew him. How heād pick holes into his jeans when he was nervous, and dye his hair when he was really angryā how heād sometimes just give you a hug, no warning and no words, just his warm embrace and for seemingly no reason at all, but you knew. You knew how he laughed when he was really happy, when he was being fake, when he laughed something small and sad. You knew what every twitch of his brows meant. You knew what he was trying to say when heād look at you and his lips would quirk up for a split secondā that was all you needed to know what he was trying to say without really saying it. You never understood your best friend, but you knew him. He was yours, and you were his. You didnāt need to understand because you knew. You were there.
You both liked to play the same video games, and every day after school youād play before pulling out your homework. On the first day of school and every friday afterwards youād both wear matching T-shirtsā and whenever youād manage to scrape up any money that was always what you spent it on. Something you both could match with. Weekends at the arcade in the next town over, going to the fair in the summer every single day until it closed for the year, swimming in the lake behind your house on the hottest summer days. Going to Mielleās Diner like it was the best treat that your young minds could ever dream of. You both watched the same movies over and over again and would cry at the same exact parts. Youād read books together and yell at each other about them all the while, and watch whatever new drama was out ā falling head over heels for the leads.
Now, the Hyunjin you see is a stranger. Twenty-six years to your twenty-four, heās unrecognizableā in the way he dresses, in the way he talks, in the way he movesā even in the way he breathes. Itās clear that you no longer know Hwang Hyunjin from eight years ago. And of course thatās normal. After eight years you might not recognize what used to be your favorite song, or your childhood dog, your favorite TV showā if you hadnāt seen your parents in eight years you might not recognize themā but for you, someone who had always believed you and Hyunjin would be best friends foreverā as childish as it was, looking at Hyunjin now feels like betrayal. Like heartbreak, one much worse than what made you stay all those years agoā it feels like coming home after a long day just to see your stuff thrown on the porch. It feels like going on a date expecting a proposal only to be broken up with. It feels like getting rejected from your dream school.
Seeing Hyunjin now isnāt familiar. Youāve seen him every once in a while on TV, in a magazine, in a cameo of your favorite showā but that wasnāt Hyunjin. Not your Hyunjin. That wasnāt the Hyunjin that used to throw rocks at your window and help you sneak out to go to karaoke. That wasnāt the Hyunjin that would always come to the diner where you worked and tip extra with the money he barely had. That wasnāt the Hyunjin that bought you your first pair of sneakers after fifteen years of hand-me-downs. That wasnāt the Hyunjin whoād rubbed your back and cried with you on the worst day of your life.
Yet, somehow, it is him. In the way he laughs, in the way he stands just a few inches taller than you, in the way his lips curve up and dimples form in a way youād never seen before. Itās in the way he says āheyā and wraps you up in a hug like those eight years were really only eight secondsā as if he was just coming back from a week long vacation. Itās him in the way he brings warmth everywhere he goes, embracing you so tightly, so utterly comforting, that it feels like youāve been rolled up inside a heated blanket on a cold, winter day. Youāve seen him every once in a while, on TV, in a magazine, and realizedā that is him. It was him in an interview with dogs, cuddling and cooing at them for twenty minutes straight. It was him doing a tour of his home, books littered everywhere, canvases with the most intricate designs on his walls, it was him, when he still lit up at the sight of anything newā because those things donāt go away. Those old habits and interests that are ingrained so deep; so painfully deep, donāt just go away.
Seeing Hyunjin again is like finding a forgotten trinket in the back of your closet, like finding your favorite book or shirt after monthsā years, evenā of thinking youād lost it forever. Itās a sudden bout of nostalgia, a remembrance of something you used to love, something you cherished. But maybe the shirt doesnāt fit you anymore. Maybe the book doesnāt interest you. Seeing Hyunjin is like thatā someone you used to love more than anyone; someone you used to cherish, but heās a thing from the past, and eventually youād always lose those items again. Theyād lay in the darkness of the deepest corners of your closet, waiting for the chance to be found again or forgotten forever.
You donāt think seeing Hyunjin again is much different, except youāre the thing in the closet, and youāre fine with being forgotten.
Itās been eight years. You never understood Hyunjin, but you knew him. You knew each other better than anyone else could, but the Hyunjin you see today is a stranger. This is not the Hyunjin you know, and you hope he leaves as quickly as he came so your heart canāt be broken for a third time.
When you were young, you were friends with a neighborhood boy who liked the same things as you. Both of you were dirt poor, but it didn't seem to matter; as long as you had each other, there was always a make-believe adventure right around the corner. He grew up to be a star actor and, now that he's wealthy beyond imagination, seems to have forgotten where he came from. You haven't talked to him in years, but now heās back, for reasons unknown to you, where you reconnect and reintroduce him to the life he left behind. (original prompt)
This is a little something I started writing last year, itās actually the last thing I wrote and actually liked, before I seemed to forget how to. Iāve tried and tried to make it into something more but maybe itās time for me to let go of it so I can let something new make itās way in.
pairing: hyunjin x f!reader
genre: romance? very pg. childhood friends to strangers to one-sided enemies to lovers
word count: 1.5k
warnings: just feels; small towns, old friends, mentions of heartbreak, angsty, childhood friends to strangers (??) to one sided enemies (??), idk. a lot of secrecy.
missed u guys <3
p.s listen to it almost worked by tv girl for a better reading experience !
You never understood Hyunjin. Not after all those years when you were kids and especially not now. Not when youād seen him cry every year on his birthday, not when heād tried and failed to be friends with every newcomer in town, not when heād stopped talking to you for days after you made fun of his dirt-caked sneakers (Iām sorry Hyunjin, I thought Iād earned that privilege!), and especially not when heād left you, nineteen years old with not even a look back as he left to be something great while you were stuck being the younger version of your parentsā a nobody.
Youād watched him grow up. You watched him mature from the young boy he was and into a man, and in turn heād watched you as well. You were there when his voice deepened, when his mole started to fadeā you were there when his eyebrows thickened and he lost all his baby fat. You were there when he had a huge growth spurt that left him hovering over you more often than not, even when you had always been the tallest. And in turn, heād watched you. He was there when you decided to grow your hair out and also when youād decided to cut itā he was there when youād started to grow in your body and boys and girls started to take noticeā he was there when youād found something you loved, and he was there when your heart broke for the first time.
You were there to watch him bloomā standing by his side all the while as he didā knowing somewhere deep in your heart that he was meant for much more than the shoddy town you both had grown up in. It wasnāt horrible, no, youād had a lot of fun growing up there. You never lacked fun, or something to do, or friends to make, but it wasnāt a place for flourishing.
It was a place where everyone knew everyone, where everyone went to the same spot to get alcohol, where everyone knew the best spot to get a fake ID; it was a place where the older generation couldnāt fathom why anyone would want a place in the city, where the docks still held old boats from the 70ās and the houses still held the same structure from years ago. It was a great town, one that held memories, but one that lacked growth.
You were there when Hyunjin flourished, when he grew so tall and bloomed so wide that he could no longer fit in your shoddy little town. When his wings spread so far that if he stayed heād have to slouch a littleā crouch down just to fit in. You were there when he found something he loved, when he found the one thing that made him happiest, when he found a dream to chase after.
You were there through his firstsā when heād gotten his first job, his first rejection, when heād gotten his first bad grade and his first perfect grade. You were there when the first argument with his parents turned into frequent ones. You were there during his drama lessons, during his practices, you were there when people would tell him he would never amount to anythingā when people said heād be a failure just like his parentsā and you were also the one to stand up for him, throwing your first punch in his honor.
You never understood Hyunjin but you knew him. How heād pick holes into his jeans when he was nervous, and dye his hair when he was really angryā how heād sometimes just give you a hug, no warning and no words, just his warm embrace and for seemingly no reason at all, but you knew. You knew how he laughed when he was really happy, when he was being fake, when he laughed something small and sad. You knew what every twitch of his brows meant. You knew what he was trying to say when heād look at you and his lips would quirk up for a split secondā that was all you needed to know what he was trying to say without really saying it. You never understood your best friend, but you knew him. He was yours, and you were his. You didnāt need to understand because you knew. You were there.
You both liked to play the same video games, and every day after school youād play before pulling out your homework. On the first day of school and every friday afterwards youād both wear matching T-shirtsā and whenever youād manage to scrape up any money that was always what you spent it on. Something you both could match with. Weekends at the arcade in the next town over, going to the fair in the summer every single day until it closed for the year, swimming in the lake behind your house on the hottest summer days. Going to Mielleās Diner like it was the best treat that your young minds could ever dream of. You both watched the same movies over and over again and would cry at the same exact parts. Youād read books together and yell at each other about them all the while, and watch whatever new drama was out ā falling head over heels for the leads.
Now, the Hyunjin you see is a stranger. Twenty-six years to your twenty-four, heās unrecognizableā in the way he dresses, in the way he talks, in the way he movesā even in the way he breathes. Itās clear that you no longer know Hwang Hyunjin from eight years ago. And of course thatās normal. After eight years you might not recognize what used to be your favorite song, or your childhood dog, your favorite TV showā if you hadnāt seen your parents in eight years you might not recognize themā but for you, someone who had always believed you and Hyunjin would be best friends foreverā as childish as it was, looking at Hyunjin now feels like betrayal. Like heartbreak, one much worse than what made you stay all those years agoā it feels like coming home after a long day just to see your stuff thrown on the porch. It feels like going on a date expecting a proposal only to be broken up with. It feels like getting rejected from your dream school.
Seeing Hyunjin now isnāt familiar. Youāve seen him every once in a while on TV, in a magazine, in a cameo of your favorite showā but that wasnāt Hyunjin. Not your Hyunjin. That wasnāt the Hyunjin that used to throw rocks at your window and help you sneak out to go to karaoke. That wasnāt the Hyunjin that would always come to the diner where you worked and tip extra with the money he barely had. That wasnāt the Hyunjin that bought you your first pair of sneakers after fifteen years of hand-me-downs. That wasnāt the Hyunjin whoād rubbed your back and cried with you on the worst day of your life.
Yet, somehow, it is him. In the way he laughs, in the way he stands just a few inches taller than you, in the way his lips curve up and dimples form in a way youād never seen before. Itās in the way he says āheyā and wraps you up in a hug like those eight years were really only eight secondsā as if he was just coming back from a week long vacation. Itās him in the way he brings warmth everywhere he goes, embracing you so tightly, so utterly comforting, that it feels like youāve been rolled up inside a heated blanket on a cold, winter day. Youāve seen him every once in a while, on TV, in a magazine, and realizedā that is him. It was him in an interview with dogs, cuddling and cooing at them for twenty minutes straight. It was him doing a tour of his home, books littered everywhere, canvases with the most intricate designs on his walls, it was him, when he still lit up at the sight of anything newā because those things donāt go away. Those old habits and interests that are ingrained so deep; so painfully deep, donāt just go away.
Seeing Hyunjin again is like finding a forgotten trinket in the back of your closet, like finding your favorite book or shirt after monthsā years, evenā of thinking youād lost it forever. Itās a sudden bout of nostalgia, a remembrance of something you used to love, something you cherished. But maybe the shirt doesnāt fit you anymore. Maybe the book doesnāt interest you. Seeing Hyunjin is like thatā someone you used to love more than anyone; someone you used to cherish, but heās a thing from the past, and eventually youād always lose those items again. Theyād lay in the darkness of the deepest corners of your closet, waiting for the chance to be found again or forgotten forever.
You donāt think seeing Hyunjin again is much different, except youāre the thing in the closet, and youāre fine with being forgotten.
Itās been eight years. You never understood Hyunjin, but you knew him. You knew each other better than anyone else could, but the Hyunjin you see today is a stranger. This is not the Hyunjin you know, and you hope he leaves as quickly as he came so your heart canāt be broken for a third time.
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