kookiesspacebuns

You didn’t want to just leave Jeonghan but when you heard the other boys moving around outside Jeonghan’s door you felt like it was better than waiting for him to wake up and for him to realize that you hadn’t slept at all that night.

You changed into a different set of clothes and wondered exactly how you would be able to sneak out. However, the minute you stepped into the hallway your plans were dashed. Seungcheol was leaning against the wall. He looked up at you from beneath his bangs, raising an eyebrow in your direction.

“Well?”

You pressed your lips together, and quietly closed the door behind you.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “How did you know I would be up?”

“I didn’t,” Seungcheol admitted, a smile flickering across his face as if you two were sharing some kind of secret. “Is Jeonghan still sleeping?”

You nodded.

“What did he tell you?”

“I don’t know if I should tell you,” you said. “It’s kind of… Personal.”

Seungcheol looked confused, and you could tell he wanted to prod more but after a few seconds of clear torment he seemed to let it go.

“Mingyu already knows you’re still here,” he said softly. “You’re not going to be able to get out easily.”

Your eyes fell to the ground, and you muttered a soft curse.

“Is there a window I can climb out of?”

It was a joke. Seungcheol laughed.

“Are you really going to leave Jeonghan without saying goodbye?”

“I don’t want to hurt him,” you said softly. “But… I have a lot of thinking to do. I can’t really…” You were saying too much. You didn’t think that Seungcheol knew how Jeonghan felt about you. “You should really talk to him yourself.”

“You have to stay for breakfast,” Seungcheol said with a shrug. “Everyone knows you’re here. You really going to risk hurting Mingyu’s feelings?”

It hadn’t occurred to you that leaving in the morning without a word would hurt more than just Jeonghan’s feelings, but now that Seungcheol mentioned it you knew he was right. God, you hated that he was right.

You could barely handle the idea of hurting Jeonghan’s feelings right now. He had been so vulnerable with you… You didn’t want him to never open up to someone ever again because of how you reacted in this situation. And you definitely didn’t want to hurt the feelings of thirteen men.

You quirked your head to the side, insinuating to Seungcheol that if he led you would follow. The moment that you stepped into the kitchen; half of the boys let out excited exclamations.

“Y/n is back!” Mingyu said excitedly. “Jeonghan has been such a dick without you around.”

You rolled your eyes at the sentiment, thinking it was odd that they were so excited to see you, when Seokmin added: “I don’t know what’s worse. Hearing you two go at it at night or having Jeonghan yell at us about the littlest things.”

“I think the latter is worse,” Jun said, a smile crossing his face. To his credit he looked genuinely surprised to see you. You supposed you hadn’t seen him at all last night. “Mingyu was over the moon at the fact you were going to be here.”

“I made porridge,” Mingyu said excitedly. He put a bowl in front of you. “Have you ever had it before?”

You laughed and shook your head. You picked up a spoon and as you went to try the food Mingyu sat down next to you, his eyes wide as he watched you.

You laughed aagain nd took a bite.

You let a dramatic pause fill the room, making sure to keep your face neutral. You could tell that it was driving him crazy to see what you were going to say.

After a minute, you smiled.

“Of course, it’s amazing.”

You wondered if this was what it was usually like for the boys of Alpha Mu. Did they get really attached to the partners one another had the way they seemed to have gotten attached to you? Even Seokmin who was clearly annoyed to have to deal with the sound of you and Jeonghan at night seemed to enjoy your company.

You wondered if any of them had stayed friends with partners after break ups.

Still, you tried not to think about it too much. You wanted to focus on less stressful things.

“There is sleeping beauty!” Minghao said, a smile crossing his lips. You looked over your shoulder to find Jeonghan standing there. His hair was messy, his eyes still a little red and puffy from sleeping. He looked annoyed, but then his eyes flickered to you and the annoyance dissipated.

Fuck, why did that just make you feel even more conflicted?

“Why do you always sleep so late?” Joshua chided. “You always make y/n come down alone.”

Jeonghan looked away from you and shrugged.

“She doesn’t mind. She’s always been good at waiting for me.”

He had said it before, but this time it felt different. You patted the spot next to you for Jeonghan to sit down.

“I do have to go soon,” you admitted. You didn’t say what you should. I waited because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. But I don’t know my feelings yet. “But how can I say no to a Mingyu breakfast?”

Despite the fact you didn’t say it out loud, you had a feeling that Jeonghan could hear your thoughts. His expression dropped a little, for just a second, but you noticed. A smile crossed his lips immediately after and if you didn’t know any better you would say that he was completely fine.

You looked at Seungcheol, who pressed his lips together tightly and glanced to the side. You got the gist. You turned your eyes back to Jeonghan.

“No one would say no to a Mingyu breakfast,” Jeonghan agreed.

Breakfast wasn’t awkward but it was frustrating. You shouldn’t want it, but you really wanted Jeonghan to touch you as if he hadn’t confessed his love to you and you hadn’t not given him an answer back.

You didn’t want to admit it out loud, but you loved the way that he always had his hands on you when you two were together. Before you had thought he was just touchy, but thinking back on it you were realizing that it was actually the way he had been showing you that all his attention was on you even when it seemed like it wasn’t.

You wanted to be mad that he had thought he needed to dangle other people in your face to get your attention but thinking about it now you really hadn’t ever given him attention. You had constantly tried to leave before he woke up, never texted him or called him, never visited him where you knew he lived and only came when there was a party to crash.

No wonder he had been so desperate.

“I really should get going,” you insisted, ignoring the protests from all the boys. You rolled your eyes. “I’ll be around.”

Were you just saying that to make the others feel better or did you actually mean it?

You glanced at Jeonghan giving him a smile and a nod. Jeonghan gave you back that same convincing smile that he had been giving out all morning. You avoided eye contact with Seungcheol and started to head home.

-

When you walked into your apartment, you were surprised to find Jun and Jeongyeon waiting for you in the kitchen. You blinked, looking from Jun to the shoes that he had left at the entrance. Your mouth fell open a little.

“How did you…?” Your head fell to the side a little bit, the corner of your mouth turning up in confusion. “How did you get here before me?”

Jun waved off your confusion.

“Not important. What happened with Jeonghan?” He asked. “I thought you two weren’t talking? And then I heard you two last night-”

“How could you not tell me?” Jeongyeon blurted, a mostly exaggerated flash of hurt crossing her face. “What made you decide to start talking to Jeonghan again?”

“Well…” You trailed off as you kicked your shoes off your feet. “You know how Seungcheol came to see me? He convinced me to go to the party last night in disguise so I could see for myself that Jeonghan wasn’t sleeping with other people.”

“And?” Jeongyeon prodded. Both her and Jun were for some reason sitting on your kitchen counter and they both patted the space in between them simultaneously. You rolled your eyes but started over there.

“Well, I kind of sabotaged the plan by talking to Jeonghan and he figured out it was me,” you admitted. As soon as you had hopped up on the counter next to them, Jeongyeon hopped down. She went over to the freezer and pulled out three pint-sized cartons of ice cream. Your eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion.

“When did you…?”

“I bought these when you and Jeonghan first stopped talking,” Jeongyeon explained, handing a carton to both you and Jun along with some spoons. “I know you and Jeonghan have always been kind of emotionally detached but I wanted to prepare for the worst.”

You pressed your lips together.

That was the real problem with all of this. That right there was the real reason that this situation required so much thinking. You had been emotionally detached from Jeonghan. You had done such a good job putting Jeonghan in the Just Sex box that now you were having trouble putting him in any other box.

“Oh god, what did Jeonghan say to you?” Jeongyeon asked after you had been silent for a few moments.

“It couldn’t have been that bad,” Jun speculated. “They did have sex last night and they seemed fine at breakfast this morning.”

“Jeonghan loves me.”

Silence fell between the two. You could feel them staring at you and it only made your mind race even faster. You groaned and buried your face in your hands, leaving the cold cartoon of ice cream pressed between your thighs.

“Well, he didn’t say that but he said that,” you continued. “He told me that he’s liked me since freshmen year. That I’m too good for him. That he is so crazy about me he couldn’t deal with me not being the same level of crazy for him.”’

“No, he didn’t,” Jun said, but it wasn’t that he didn’t believe you. It was in pure astonishment.

“He said: ‘When I say that I crave you, I mean it in a way you will never fully understand’.”

Jeongyeon squealed a little next to you, reaching across your lap to hit Jun on his thigh.

“I knew it,” she said excitedly. “I called this! I knew that Jeonghan had fallen for you!”

You looked up, giving Jeongyeon a strained look. She let out a nervous laugh.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “But isn’t this a good thing?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted with a sigh. “Is it? I’m not in love with Jeonghan.”

“Maybe not,” Jeongyeon agreed. There was a long stretch of silence between the three of you. “But also… Maybe you are?”

Luckily it didn’t seem like you were the only one who thought that didn’t make sense.

“Huh?” Jun mumbled. Jeongyeon hummed, jumping off the counter to head over to the living room. You and Jun followed her in tow. Jeongyeon sat on the couch, Jun on the arm of the couch, and you on the floor.

“Like… You’re not in love with him. Of course not, because when boundaries are in front of you, you don’t cross them,” Jeongyeon started. As she spoke you took a spoonful of ice cream. To give Jeongyeon credit where it was due: She knew you the best out of anyone. How did she remember what your favorite ice cream flavor was? “But I mean… You did cross the boundary a little. Didn’t you?”

Maybe she didn’t know you as well as you thought.

“No, I didn’t-”

“That day you were telling me that Jeonghan was going to sleep with Chaedom and told you not to come over you went over, didn’t you?” She pressed. You fell silent. “Right. And why did you care so much anyways?”

“I didn’t care,” you mumbled. “It was just annoying… I don’t know- I really wanted him that day.”

“Gross,” Jun mumbled. You and Jeongyeon ignored him.

“But didn’t you wonder why?” Jeongyeon continued. “I mean, even after that you didn’t seem to want him as badly as you did then. Why did you want him so badly that day?”

Jeongyeon was raising some great questions, but before you could try to answer them, she was continuing.

“And don’t you think it’s weird that you do all these mundane things with him?” Jeongyeon asked. “Like you’ve had fuck buddies before. Small flings, whatever they didn’t mean anything.”

“Yeah,” you agreed. Jeongyeon’s eyes widened a little and she gestured towards you as if she was trying to make you realize something.

“They didn’t mean anything,” Jeongyeon emphasized. “You didn’t wait for them to wake up or eat breakfast with them. You definitely didn’t end up shopping with them, or staying the night when you two weren’t actively sleeping together.”

“That’s-” Such a good point. “Just because they weren’t persistent like Jeonghan is.”

“Y/n, open your eyes,” Jeongyeon insisted. “You don’t do things you don’t want to do.”

You hadn’t really known Jeonghan for very long at this point, but Jeongyeon’s persistence made you fall silent regardless. She was right. Of course, she was right.

You had been so focused on not liking Jeonghan that you had been ignoring the obvious signs that you did like him. Maybe not love- How could you be in love with Jeonghan so quickly after all, but you did really care for him didn’t you?

If it had been one of your old flings you wouldn’t be so hesitant to break their heart. It would have been easy for you to brush them off and tell them you didn’t feel that way. But you cared about Jeonghan’s feelings.

Fuck, how had you gotten here?

Jeonghan had been frustrated because you weren’t crazy about him the way he was you but weren’t you a little? You had been so jealous of Chaedom, and the only reason that you were so nonchalant about him sleeping with other people was because he had always returned to you. There had been no doubt in your mind that you meant more to him than everyone else at some point. Even if you didn’t think it was love.

Normally that should have been a red flag. You could easily find a different fuck buddy, but Jeonghan had made you feel special even while he was just a fling. Isn’t that what made it so different with him?

“How did this happen?” You asked softly. You groaned and buried your face in your hands. “I mean I know he loves me but Yoon Jeonghan? What if… I don’t know what if he gets bored?”

“I mean, I’m hardly the expert,” Jun interjected. “But isn’t that a fear when getting into any relationship?”

“Which is why I am not looking for a relationship!” You replied. “Because I don’t want those fears. What if he gets bored? What if we break up? What if he still wants to be with other people?”

“He already said that he doesn’t want to date other people. Remember? That was what started all of this in the first place.”

You pursed your lips. Fuck.

“What are your qualms with really being with Jeonghan?” Jun asked. “Like, really?”

“I already said,” you replied. “What if he gets bored of me or what if we don’t work out or-”

“Not in general, of specifically being with Jeonghan,” Jun interrupted. “Like what specific things about Jeonghan worry you? Do you not think that he will be nice to you?”

“What?” You blurted. “Of course, he would be nice to me. Jeonghan is always nice to me.”

“So, you just don’t think he’s ready for a relationship,” Jeongyeon joined in.

“No,” you disagreed again. “I think that Jeonghan has been wanting a relationship for a lot longer than he realizes.”

You shifted a little.

“Do you two not get along emotionally?” Jun prodded.

“Jeonghan can read me really well,” you replied with a shake of your head. “I think that we get along fine.”

“Then what?” Jeongyeon pressed. “What is the grand reason that you are worried that Jeonghan and you would be bad together?”

“Me,” you blurted. Jeongyeon and Jun shared matching wide eyed expressions. “It’s me, okay?”

You looked down into your lap unsurely.

“Jeonghan’s been in love with me since freshmen year,” you said. “That is years of looking at me and filling in the gaps of my personality that he didn’t know and that means that a large part of what he likes about me is just what he hopes I’m like.”

“That’s not-”

“And if that’s not even true what is true is that Jeonghan knows for sure that he is ready to date me. That’s why he admitted he liked me. But yesterday if you had asked me if I wanted to be in a relationship, I would have said no.”

“You’re overthinking it.”

“It’s unfair of me to date him when I’m not ready for a relationship. The problem isn’t Jeonghan. It’s never been Jeonghan. The problem is me. I haven’t been in a relationship for longer than a few months ever. Even the very few people that have been nice to me…”

You trailed off, thinking.

“Hwanwoong… Gunhak…” You strained to think of more. “That’s it. Those are the only two people who have really liked me and maybe been willing to marry me and I got scared and I broke up with them.”

You groaned and fell forward into your hands.

“I can’t hurt Jeonghan guys. Who cares about the others? I can’t hurt Jeonghan.”

Jeongyeon and Jun were quiet for a little bit. In fact, it stretched on for so long that you forced yourself to look back up at them, your hands dragging down your cheeks in frustration.

“Well?” You blurted. “I just barred out my heart and you two aren’t going to say anything?”

Again, they were quiet for a little too long and you dropped your head back into your hands.

“Fuck.”

“It’s just…” Jeongyeon’s words dragged you up out of your hands. “You’ve never… I just… You always acted like you just really didn’t care about relationships. I didn’t realize…”

“Yeah.”

There was silence, before suddenly, Jun broke it.

“Y/n, you’re really stupid.”

“Jun,” Jeongyeon hissed, and you heard him audibly get hit. You looked up at the two in surprise.

“What? She is,” he insisted. “And you are too! You both are really stupid.”

He looked over at you, shoving his hand forward.

“Who cares if you don’t think you are ready for a relationship? No one goes into a relationship knowing for sure that they are going to marry the person they are dating. That’s the hope but not the fact,” he insisted bluntly. “And the fact that you even care about this is just proof that you do care about him.”

“That’s not-”

“You just don’t want to lose him!” Jun interrupted. “If you didn’t care about Jeonghan then this wouldn’t matter at all. You like having sex with him? Say you like him, and you can keep having sex. Who cares about breaking a few hearts on the way?”

“I’m not a monster, Jun,” you said slightly offended by what he was saying.

“I’m just saying you broke up with the others easy right? But you so desperately care about Jeonghan you don’t even want to tell him that you don’t like him.”

Jun leaned back on the couch.

“Maybe I don’t know anything,” he mumbled. “But that sounds like love to me.”

You pressed your lips together.

“That…” You groaned and dropped your head into your hands again. “I just… I really don’t want to hurt him.”

“Stop being stupid,” Jun said, this time reaching over and physically hitting you. “Jeonghan can handle being hurt. And you’re preparing for a storm that you don’t even know is coming. Just do what every other idiot on the planet does and date the guy you like.”

You knew Jun was right.

God, you couldn’t believe that you were getting genuinely good advice from Moon Junhui.

“Jeongyeon-” You looked over at her with a wide and frustrated expression. She had a mostly blank look on her face and she just shook her head.

“I can’t… I can’t say anything, he’s right,” she said in awe. “I mean… Just think about it. Jimin and I dived into a relationship even though I’m pretty sure neither of us really know where it’s going to go. But I mean… I’m not scared.”

“How can you not be scared?” You pressed.

“Because it’s Jimin,” Jeongyeon replied. “The scariest thing I did was admit that I have real feelings for a fuck buddy. Now we’re both in the same boat where we both like each other and we both want to stay together… That’s what matters. Not the possibility of a breakup.”

“Look, this is easy for both of you-” you insisted, but it made Jun hit you again.

“It’s easy for you too! Do you or do you not like Jeonghan?” Jun asked.

“No,” you said stubbornly.

“Right,” Jun replied sarcastically. “That’s why you are thinking about this so much. Just call him y/n.”

Before you could respond Jun walked over to you, digging your phone out of your pocket and shoving it into your hands.

“I can’t tell him that I like him over the phone,” you hissed back. “Okay, I relent. I like Jeonghan. I like his attention; I like his touch sexual or not. I… I want to be close to him. I want to see him every day. It’s thrilling being at a party where everyone wants him but I know at the end of the night he will be with me.”

You knew you didn’t have to say it.

“I just... I can’t tell him over the phone. I’ll go see him…” You trailed off. “But not today. Later. I have to think about what I’m going to say right?”

-

Was that just an excuse to avoid having to talk to Jeonghan? Yes, yes it was.

Because sure Jeonghan liked you, and sure you liked him, and sure you shouldn’t be scared that this wasn’t going to last but you were scared of it anyways and you didn’t have to think about it. Not yet. Not until you talked to him.

So… You just decided to push off talking to him.

And if it were any better, (your impending Psych degree said it wasn’t) you weren’t talking to anyone. Not Jeonghan, not Yeongtae, not Jeongyeon… Not until your phone started buzzing against your table while you were deep in your psych book.

You slid open the phone, wincing when your ear was hit with loud noises.

“Yeongtae?” You mumbled.

“Not Yeongtae. But calling on behalf of him.” There was silence for a little. “You’re y/n, his only friend right?”

You sighed, were people starting to know you for that reason?

“Yeah, that’s me. Yeongtae’s only friend.”

“He just threw up in a sink at a party. Can you come get him? He keeps saying that you’re the only one who would be willing to come get him.”

“He’s at a party on a Wednesday?”

The person on the other end of the phone, made a sound of offense.

“I’m also at a party on a Wednesday.” You two were quiet for a while. “Are you going to pick him up or not?”

You sighed and closed your textbook. What choice did you really have?

“Yeah, I’ll come get him.”

-

Your first thought upon getting to the party was that there were way too many people there for a Wednesday. Seriously, who went to a party on a Wednesday?

You wormed through the crowd, avoiding as much eye contact with people as you could.

“Y/n.”

You ignored the calls, immediately recognizing that whoever it was wasn’t Yeongtae.

But the ignoring was pointless.

“Y/n-” The boys voice came again. Louder. Whinier. You rolled your eyes and turned around in time for someone to collide into you. You both stumbled, making the boys head pop up out of your chest. He looked a little dizzy. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall into you.”

You frowned, squinting your eyes.

“Yeonjun?”

“Yeonjun!” He cheered loudly, throwing his hands in the air. The momentum splashed some of his beer out of the top of the cup in his hand and he jumped to the side to avoid it. You raised an eyebrow towards him. “Y/n, I’m so glad you’re here because I need to know how it went with Jeonghan.”

He took a swig of his drink and then his eyes widened.

“I’m so rude-” He thrust his cup forward. “Drink!”

You smiled at him.

“You know, I don’t want any but-” As you spoke you took the cup. “I’m going to take this away from you because I think you have had enough.”

A pout crossed Yeonjun’s lips, and he half-heartedly chased the drink. He gave up however once you had it pulled close to you.

“Why are you here if not to drink?” He asked.

“Looking for Yeongtae,” you replied. Yeonjun’s eyebrows furrowed deeply.

“Yeongtae?”

You raised your hand to Yeongtae’s height.

“This tall… Uh, mullet? I think. Long face?”

Yeonjun looked at you completely lost, and you sighed waving your hands in the air dismissively.

“Yeah, I just, I have to pick him up,” you mumbled. “Unfortunately, he’s my responsibility. He has no friends.”

“If he has no friends, how did he get invited to this party?” Yeonjun asked, with a genuinely confused expression on his face. You pressed your lips together and nodded slowly.

“You know what? Great question,” you agreed. “I really do have to look for Yeongtae. Are you…” You trailed off and gestured to the party around you. “Do you have anyone to get your home?”

“I have friends,” Yeonjun said cryptically. You frowned, but before you could say more Yeonjun was disappearing into the crowd of people.

Weird.

You turned and just as you did you caught a glimpse of the absolute last person that you wanted to see at this party.

Fuck, Yunjun.

You spun around on your heel, instantly desperate to disappear into the crowd, but you knew that Yunjun had seen you.

Yeongtae would be fine without you right? Maybe you could come get him from this place in the morning. Surely Yunjun wouldn’t be here at 8am. Maybe-

“Y/n-”

You resisted the urge to hit yourself in the face. Instead, you just pressed both of your eyes tightly shut and completely froze, hoping that Yunjun would go away. A hand landed on your shoulder.

You forced a smile across your lips, and turned around, shrugging the hand off of you.

“Yunjun,” you said. “How lucky am I to see you again so soon?”

Your enthusiasm wasn’t quite reaching your voice and Yunjun seemed to notice it. He reached forward, fisting his fingers into your shirt and pulled you sharply forward. Your eyes widened.

“Woah-”

Yunjun’s lips quirked up into a smile once you were close to him. His eyes narrowed a little.

“You haven’t been drinking,” he observed. “There’s the y/n that I know.”

You forced your lips into a larger smile and pressed your hands to Yunjun’s shoulders pushing him away with as much strength as you could muster.

“We aren’t doing this,” you said with a laugh. “Like. Really. We aren’t doing this.”

You weren’t sure exactly what it was about this. Was it the fact that it was a party on a Wednesday? Was it the fact that you were there to pick up Yeongtae? Or maybe it was the fact that you knew that someone liked you. The fact that you knew that if you wanted you could be with Jeonghan right now. Sitting on the Alpha Mu living room floor fucking around with legos while Jun begged Minghao for a house cat.

You wanted that. You really, really, wanted that because if that was your life right now you wouldn’t care about your stupid ex at a party. You wouldn’t have been so stressed this weekend and to top it all of you wouldn’t be here at this party picking up Yeongtae alone.

So, you figured, in the end it was that. Your own stupidity that was actually pushing you to speak to Yunjun like this. You were so fucking mad at yourself and you had no one to take it out on because even stupid Yeongtae just meant the best.

But Yunjun?

You had been waiting for ages to tear into him.

And if you were too stupid to simply have a conversation with Jeonghan, you were certainly too stupid to start an argument with Yunjun at a party.

Yunjun’s eyebrows furrowed, the corner of his lips dropping.

“What?”

“I’m not even supposed to be at this party,” you replied. “And you haven’t talked to me in months. Not really. Why would I willingly walk into this?”

Yunjun looked a bit confused. Probably because he was starting to realize that this wasn’t some bit that you were playing as foreplay.

“You can’t keep pretending like you don’t want me,” Yunjun said, but he sounded uncertain. You narrowed your eyebrows at him.

“I don’t want you,” you insisted. “I am not yours anymore and I was barely yours when I was.”

You saw a flicker of irritation go across Yunjun’s face and you knew that you were poking a bear. Honestly, you didn’t really care.

“I can’t really figure out what was worse about you actually. Your ego or the fact that you never made me come even once.”

“Y/n, you better watch your mouth-”

“Or what Yunjun? What are you going to do?” You asked. “What could you possibly do to me in a room full of people?”

You were very aware that you were letting your anger towards your unsure feelings towards Jeonghan get to you and you were very aware that you didn’t really care. But you also were aware of the fact that you would need a quick way out of this situation. You slid your phone out of your pocket, glancing at the screen as you pulled up the contact that you needed.

“Y/n, if you’re trying to play a brat right now you aren’t doing it well,” Yunjun warned.

“Do I look like I’m playing a brat?” You asked him. “Just because someone is finally telling you that you suck doesn’t mean that I’m playing a brat.”

You glanced back down at your phone; the call being picked up practically immediately.

“Y/n you have exactly two seconds to apologize to me,” Yunjun said, and his voice was low. Scary. “Or I’m going to show you exactly what I will do to you in a room full of people who- For your information are not looking at you and are so drunk they won’t notice anything.”

Wordlessly you shoved your phone against Yunjun’s ear, forcing it into his hands. At first Yunjun looked confused, but he took the phone, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Hello?”

He was silent for a moment.

“This is Yunjun, who the fuck is this?” There was some silence. “No.” More silence. More frustration from Yunjun. “It’s not my fault-” He stopped and sighed heavily. “Then why aren’t you here?”

Whatever was said next seemed to do the trick. Yunjun gave you a frustrated look.

“I’m sorry.”

His words were quiet but before you said that he rolled his eyes moving your phone slightly away from his ear.

“I said I’m sorry,” he said louder. He turned his head so that it was clear he was talking to the phone again. “Is that better?”

After a few more moments of silence, he looked at you, pushing your phone back into your hands.

“You…” He looked like he wanted to say more but he didn’t. He just shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Not fucking worth it.”

And then he walked away. You pressed your lips tightly together and glanced down at your phone for a few seconds before bringing the screen to your face. Despite the roar of the party, you could hear the breathing on the other end of the phone very clearly.

“Thank you.”

Your voice was a bit quiet, and you were practically withholding breathing so that you wouldn’t miss the next thing that was said.

“You’re welcome.”

More wasn’t said.

“I…” You were hesitant. “I’m not drunk I just… I was a little angry and I needed some back up.” There was another small stretch of silence. “I don’t usually go to parties on Wednesday’s but I-”

“You don’t have to explain to me why you’re at a party on a Wednesday. And if you wanted to get drunk at a party you know I wouldn’t judge you for that.”

“I know Jeonghan,” you said, and you could hear the desperation in your voice as you spoke. “I just… I want you to know that I really don’t mean to…” Fuck. “I really want to talk to you about it I just…”

“It’s okay,” he replied, but his voice was a little strained. “Take all the time you need.”

Now was a good time for you to hang up the phone.

“Jeonghan can you…” Don’t ask. “Can you pick me up?”

There was shuffling on Jeonghan’s end as soon as the words left your mouth.

“I’ll be there in ten.”

Well, that gave you ten minutes to find Yeongtae.

-

When Jeonghan pulled up to the house you were sitting directly next to a very drunk Yeongtae who you had found in the kitchen with his head dunked in the sink. Jeonghan rolled down the passenger seat window and took one glance at you two before sighing.

“Come on.”

You wrapped your fingers around Yeongtae’s biceps and dragged him up with you, also supporting him by his elbow. He stumbled next to you, and you struggled to keep him upright.

“Yeongtae,” you urged softly. He glanced up at you. “I know that you like to make my life miserable, but I still haven’t talked to Jeonghan and he is here to pick me… Us up okay? So don’t say anything stupid.”

“It’s not my fault if I say something,” Yeongtae replied, his words comically slurred. “You should have already talked to him. It’s been weeks.”

“It’s been like four days,” you argued back. “Now I’m serious. Be cool.”

You dragged Yeongtae over to Jeonghan’s car, and pulled open the back seat, pushing him in. Yeongtae groaned when his face hit the car seat and you scooted in next to him. You closed the door behind you and tried to wrestle Yeongtae upright in the seat beside you. Jeonghan was quiet as you situated Yeongtae in the seat, clicking the seatbelt across his chest.

Yeongtae’s head drifted to the side and his head bumped against the car window. He groaned.

“I’m sorry to ask,” you said, leaning forward. “I just- Well, I was studying and Yeongtae needed someone to pick him up.”

Jeonghan glanced over at you over his shoulder.

“You don’t have to explain it to me,” he said softly. You placed your hand on the center console of the car, which gave Jeonghan the opportunity to take your hand in his. He pulled you forward a little bit by your hand and a small smile flickered across his lips.

“No matter what our relationship becomes, no matter what you say to me, you can always call me if you need anything,” he said softly. “I really don’t want you to think that you ever need to apologize to me for anything.”

You were quiet for a little bit, looking at Jeonghan’s hand in yours.

“You told me that you’ve liked me since freshmen year and I just… Left.”

“At least you stayed for breakfast,” he replied. You couldn’t help the way that it caused a smile tug at the corner of your lips. Still though, you felt bad. “Where am I taking you and your dashing secret boyfriend?”

He laughed and gave your hand a squeeze. You ignored the secret boyfriend comment. He deserved to take jabs at your relationship with Yeongtae given the current circumstance.

“Can you take me to my place?” You asked him softly. “Yeongtae doesn’t have a roommate and I hate his place.”

Jeonghan’s hand left yours and he shifted the cars’ gear.

“Put your seat belt on,” he said. You nodded and leaned back into the seat, putting on your seat belt as you were told.

“I wasn’t going to come out,” you repeated softly. Even though Jeonghan told you that you didn’t have to explain you felt like you needed to. “It’s just that Yeongtae’s been trying so hard to make friends that he’s been going out a lot and, you know, he has no friends so when he got super drunk today, they called me. And I was just going to walk him home but-”

“You ran into Yunjun,” Jeonghan filled in. You nodded, even though Jeonghan couldn’t see you.

“I just didn’t have anyone else to call,” you said, but that wasn’t exactly true. You didn’t know what to say to Jeonghan about his confession. But you knew what you wanted to say.

… No you didn’t. You thought you knew what you wanted to say. You had the idea of what you wanted to say. You just didn’t know how to say it yet. All you knew was that you did have other people you could have called. You just chose to call Jeonghan because you wanted an excuse to see him.

That wasn’t fair. Jeonghan deserved a real response.

“Jeonghan,” you said softly. “I have a question that I shouldn’t really ask you.”

He glanced at you from in the rearview mirror.

“Ask it,” he said softly. You glanced away from him and looked at Yeongtae beside you. His face was red, and still pressed up against the window. He was sweating a little. You reached over, brushing his hair out of his face and pressing the back of your hand to his forehead so that you could feel the heat through your hand.

“Have you ever wanted a real relationship before?”

He was quiet for a second.

“No,” he replied. You glanced at the back of his head. “The only person who has ever made me want something serious is you.”

The car went over a pothole, and it made Yeongtae hit his head on the window. He groaned and tipped forward. You caught him with a hand to his chest.

“Woah.”

“Why did you let me drink so much?” Yeongtae groaned out. “I just wanted to impress Chaeryeong from Bio.”

You patted his back.

“For one, I had no control over how much you drank,” you commented. Yeongtae let out another groan, letting his head tip into your chest. You sighed and patted his head. “I’m sure Chaeryeong was really impressed when she saw you throwing up in the sink.”

You heard Jeonghan let out a small, amused huff from the front seat and you glanced up at him.

“Y/n, I feel so miserable,” Yeongtae whined, drawing your eyes back down to him.

“That’s your own fault, you idiot.”

You didn’t live very far away from the party and after only a few more minutes of bickering between you and Yeongtae Jeonghan was putting the car in park at the curb of your place. You unbuckled yourself and got out. You walked around to Yeongtae’s side of the car and opened the door, unbuckling him too. You ducked your head under Yeongtae’s arm, pulling him out of the car.

“Tell Jeonghan thank you,” you murmured.

“Thank you Jeonghan,” Yeongtae pressed out. “I know you hate me, but I really think that we are like friends you know?”

Jeonghan looked back at you two and you could tell from his expression that he didn’t agree. His eyes flickered up to you. You shot him a just play along with it expression and he sighed.

“Sure,” he replied tightly. “Friends.”

You mouthed thank you back at him and pulled Yeongtae out of the car, kicking the door shut with the back of your foot. You struggled to get Yeongtae over to the front door and once you got there you leaned Yeongtae against the wall so that you could get your keys out.

“Y/n.”

You look back over your shoulder at Jeonghan who had his window rolled down.

“Come here.”

You glanced at Yeongtae who looked… Stable, at the very least and then walked back over to Jeonghan’s car. You hid your hands behind your back.

“Yeah?”

Jeonghan looked frustrated by your distance, but he didn’t voice it.

“I just want you to know that I meant everything I said back then, and I meant everything I said tonight. It’s okay if you never give me an answer. I don’t care, I really don’t. What I really care about is you.”

He let his head fall to the side.

“I was so glad that you called me tonight. Even if it doesn’t mean you like me back… You remember what I said about… Reassurance?” he asked softly. You nodded. “You trust me. Even if you don’t like me the way I like you. You trust me. That’s all I care about.”

You felt your heart thudding in your chest.

“Jeonghan I-”

“Yeongtae is falling.”

Your eyes widened and you rushed back over to Yeongtae who was in fact sliding down the wall. You caught him by his bicep and pulled him back up to his feet. When you turned around Jeonghan’s lips were pressed into a small smile.

“I’m serious,” he called over to you. “You never have to respond to my confession if you don’t want to. I just want you in my life. That’s all.”

Before you could reply, Jeonghan raised a hand in Yeongtae’s direction.

“Hope you’re okay tomorrow Yeongtae.”

Yeongtae looked up, the biggest smile spreading across his lips.

“Goodbye best friend!” He exclaimed loudly. Jeonghan’s expression morphed into a slightly strained one and then before you could say anything else to him Jeonghan was driving away. You looked at the spot his car had been, completely forgetting about your plans to get back upstairs for a moment.

Then, you were very aware of the fact that Yeongtae was quite loudly sobbing on you.

“How long are you going to make Jeonghan wait?” Yeongtae cried out, and you looked down at him to see very real tears running down his face. “He’s my best friend and I love him so much.”

You gaped at the crying boy.

“Everyone with two eyes… No anyone with even one eye- no eyes! knows that you love Jeonghan. Just tell him already. Date him, he’s the perfect guy, and then finally we’ll be able to hang out without you because he won’t have to pretend to hate me.”

You fought the urge to tell Yeongtae that Jeonghan hadn’t been pretending when he said he hated him before and you immensely regretted the fact that you let Yeongtae be so involved with your life. You had called him after talking to Jun and Jeongyeon to tell him everything only for him to tell you the same things that they were. Annoying.

“We better get you inside,” was all you said.

-

“So… It’s Friday.” 

You looked up at Yeongtae, your eyebrows furrowing at him. 

“Yep,” you agreed. You were trying to read.

“It’s been a week since Jeonghan confessed to you and you haven’t even seen him since.” 

“That’s not true,” you denied with a sigh. “We saw him Wednesday.” 

Yeongtae’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“We did…?” He struggled to recall the memory for a moment before shaking his head. “Not the point- “Look, y/n you have to talk to him. You can’t keep avoiding him.” 

You actually could keep avoiding him. In fact, nothing but pure decency was stopping you from doing so. 

But, regardless, you knew what Yeongtae meant. You still didn’t give Yeongtae an answer. You looked back down at your book, willing Yeongtae and his common sense to go away.

“I heard he’s going to be at a non-Alpha Mu party tonight,” Yeongtae continued, completing ignoring your silent wishes. “You should really go.” 

“He probably doesn’t even want me there,” you said, but you both knew that wasn’t true. “He hates it when I just come see him at parties.” 

“Then start seeing him outside of parties,” Yeongtae said with a roll of his eyes. “But you can’t keep avoiding him. Avoidance hurts more than anything else.” 

You knew he was right. You hated that he was right. You were the pysch major. You were the one that was supposed to know, be right, and act upon these things. But instead, you were being the wildly unhealthy one.

“Should you be going to parties right now?” You asked him, trying to divert the attention away from yourself. “You don’t seem to have good alcohol tolerance.”

Yeongtae feigned offense, but he didn’t really fall for your diversion.

“I’m trying to get a social circle,” Yeongtae replied, a pout crossing his lips. “You met me at a party. You met Jeonghan at a party. I’m trying to meet my Jeonghan at a party.”

You stared at him.

“You know what I mean.”

“I’m not…” You felt frustrated. “I’m trying to read Yeongtae.”

Yeongtae snatched the book out of your hands and squinted at it.

“Is this a romance?” He asked you. “You are living a romance. Why are you reading about one instead of living yours?”

You snatched the book back from Yeongtae and hit him hard on the shoulder with it. He let out a very loud and audible grunt.

“Y/n!” He protested. “I really don’t know why Jeonghan likes you you’re so mean.”

There was a pout on his lips, and you ignored it. You opened your book back up, thumbing through the pages to try and get back to where you were. Before you could get far, however, the book was being taken away from you again.

“You are not sitting in this apartment another night avoiding your feelings like an idiot,” Yeongtae insisted. He opened up your window and before you could stop him he threw your book out of the window.

“Yeongtae what the-”

You rushed over to the window, just in time to see the book audibly hit the ground.

“You can’t just-”

Yeongtae grabbed you by your wrist and he tugged you away from the window.

“We’re going,” he said pointedly.

“He might not even be there!” You protested loudly.

“He’s going to be there,” Yeongtae argued.

“He never goes to non-Alpha Mu parties,” you argued back.

“They are all going to be there.”

“No, they aren’t.”

Yeongtae pulled out his phone, and pointedly pulled up a contact that said Seungcheol. He put the phone on speaker and you two stood there, staring at each other as the phone rang and rang and-

“Your call can not to be completed as dialed, Choi-”

Yeongtae’s face dusted pink and he ended the line before immediately calling again. The phone rang and rang and-

“Your call can not-“

Yeongtae’s face reddened and he immediately called again. This time the call rang three more times before finally someone picked up.

“Hello…? Who-”

“Seungcheol!” Yeongtae said quickly. “Hey, it’s Yeongtae and-”

“Yeongtae?” You could hear Seungcheol’s confusion. “How did you get my phone number?”

Yeongtae laughed, clearly trying to save face in front of you.

“We’re friends!”

“We’re not friends,” Seungcheol protested. You huffed out a laugh. Apparently a mistake. “Is that… Is y/n with you?”

Your eyes widened and you shook your head quickly trying to tell Yeongtae not to tell Seungcheol you were there.

“Yes it is!” Yeongtae replied. “Say hi y/n.” You shut your eyes in frustration and silence strung out between the three of you. Silence that went on for a full minute before you finally broke it.

“Hi Cheol,” you mumbled reluctantly. You both heard some whispering on the other end of the phone.

“What are you two… Shut up, shut up they’re going to hang up- What are you two calling about?”

“I’m trying to force y/n to the party,” Yeongtae replied. “But she doesn’t believe that you are all even going to be there.”

More talking over the phone, it was somewhat muffled but you could make out what was being said.

“This is good, we want her at the party.”

“Would Jeonghan want her to see him like this?”

“It doesn’t matter- they need to-“

You could hear the audible sound of Seungcheol leaving whatever room he was in.

“Yeongtae’s right, we’re actually... Jeonghan’s already at the party.”

Seungcheol fell silent, but Yeongtae was taking his words in stride. He had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face, and you could practically hear him saying I told you so.

You snatched Yeongtae’s phone from him and covered the speaker on it.

“I am not going to the party. This is humiliating,” you hissed. “It’s bad enough people are starting to associate you and me as friends-”

“We are friends, and I know that you aren’t really embarrassed of me,” Yeongtae argued back. He was right, you were friends, and you weren’t embarrassed of him, but the slightly offended expression on his face was too funny for you not to keep the joke going.

“What would Jeonghan do if he found out that I only came to the party because you dragged me there.”

“He doesn’t care.” Seungcheol’s voice came muffled from the phone. “Y/n, he just wants to hear from you.”

Everyone on the phone call knew that wasn’t true. He definitely would care if Yeongtae was the one that finally got you to come to the party. And honestly, you didn’t blame him. If Jeonghan was doing the same thing you were doing with Yeongtae with Chaedom…? You would be mad too.

Of course, there was one stark difference between Chaedom and Yeongtae and that was that Yeongtae genuinely didn’t want to fuck you, but Chaedom definitely did want to fuck Jeonghan.

“Y/n.”

You looked up from the phone to find that Yeongtae was looking at you. His expression was more serious than you had ever seen it before. Every single trace of humor gone from his face despite having been there moments ago.

“You can’t stop avoiding him. You’re going to regret it. You know you’re going to regret it. You have to go see him.”

Again silence strung out between the three of you. You repressed the urge to sigh and nodded once.

“Okay, yeah.” You looked down at Yeongtae’s phone as if you could look at Seungcheol. “Can you text Yeongtae the details? We can be there soon.”

You could see the small smile that crossed Seungcheol’s face even though you couldn’t see him.

“Okay, see you two soon.”

The line disconnected and you shot Yeongtae an annoyed glare.

“I really didn’t want to go to a party this week,” you mumbled. Yeongtae shot you a smile.

“Guess you should’ve put that psych degree to work earlier then.”

-

When you and Yeongtae got to the party, you did the obvious thing and immediately abandoned him at the door. You didn’t think that he was expecting you to hang out with him longer but if he was than it didn’t matter at all because you were gone so fast that he couldn’t stop you even if he wanted to.

After all, if you were going to be forced to a non-Alpha Mu party because you needed to talk to Jeonghan you weren’t going to put off talking to Jeonghan. The longer that you avoided talking to Jeonghan while at a party was really just… The longer you had to be at a party.

Besides, you missed Jeonghan.

Did you deserve to miss him after you had ignored him for so long? Not really. But you missed him regardless.

You didn’t spot Jeonghan, not first. But you did spot someone from Alpha Mu pretty fast.

“Hey,” you said, waving down Soonyoung. He turned to you, his lips turning up into a huge smile.

“Y/n!” He said excitedly. He grabbed onto the shoulders of the boy next to him. “Woo! It’s y/n!”

Wonwoo sent a tired smile your way.

“It’s good you’re here,” he said. “I thought you and Jeonghan had made up?”

“Uh,” you weren’t really sure what to say. “It’s complicated.”

It wasn’t really.

“Where’s Jeonghan?” You asked, ignoring the slightly dazed expression that was now on Soonyoung’s face. He turned his attention and jumped excitedly, grabbing someone else beside him.

“Y/n’s here!” He exclaimed again, laughing loudly. You couldn’t help the chuckle that ran through you, and the tired smile on Wonwoo’s face deepened.

“Jeonghan is… Unfortunately, fighting for his life against Chaedom,” Wonwoo said. You felt a pang run through your body at her name, and you tried and failed to keep your reaction hidden from Wonwoo.

He rolled his eyes.

“You two are ridiculous,” he mumbled, and you really almost didn’t hear it over the roar of the party. Wonwoo pointed through the crowd, towards the stairs. You tried to ignore the heaviness in your chest and instead focused on worming through the crowd. Part of you had wished that Wonwoo had taken you to Jeonghan himself, but those thoughts dissipated when you spotted Jeonghan and Chaedom.

Jeonghan had a red solo cup in hand, uncharacteristic, and Chaedom draped over his side. To his credit, he didn’t look like he particularly wanted her there.

You made your way over to them, clearing your throat when you were close enough that you thought they could hear. Both of them looked up at the sound, whatever secret conversation they were having seeming to die.

Jeonghan’s lips quirked up in a tired smile, while Chaedom just rolled her eyes, and rolled herself onto Jeonghan’s body.

“Hannie,” she purred. “Why are we still down here? Let’s go to a room, huh?”

You fought the urge to tear her off of Jeonghan yourself and it was genuinely taking all of your willpower to not do so.

“Y/n.” As Jeonghan spoke he pushed at Chaedom’s face, his cup falling to the ground and splashing alcohol all over their feet. Chaedom squealed pulling away from him, which was something that he took in stride.

He stumbled over to you, dropping his entire body weight onto you. You grunted as you tried to catch him, stumbling as well. Luckily, you were able to steady the two of you. Jeonghan swung his face to meet yours, a smile crossing his lips.

“Why are you here?” He asked you. You could smell the alcohol on his lips, and you frowned. You pulled away from him, your thumb going to his bottom lip. You pulled his lip down your eyebrows furrowing as the alcohol scent grew stronger.

“Were you drinking?” You asked. He whined, quiet loudly honestly, and his head fell into the crook of your neck.

“No.”

“You’re lying,” you bit back. You pushed Jeonghan’s head back, giving him an annoyed look. “I thought you were done lying to me.”

“I couldn’t help it,” Jeonghan admitted. “I can tell you’re mad at me. I hate it when you’re mad at me.”

“I get mad when you lie to me,” you replied, pointedly.

“You can’t get mad at him for drinking.”

You sent a glare towards the offending girl which only resulted in Chaedom placing her hands on Jeonghan’s back. She patted Jeonghan, her fingers curling in the fabric of Jeonghan’s shirt. She tugged on him.

“I wouldn’t be mad at you for drinking, Jeonghan.”

You rolled your eyes, tugging him away from her.

“Chaedom, you’re about to make me mad,” you snapped. “I think that if Jeonghan wanted to spend time with you he would have done so already.”

Jeonghan didn’t seem to care about the conversation that you two were having. Instead, he tightened his grip around you.

“Y/n,” he mumbled into your skin. You felt a shiver run through your body as the words vibrated over you. You pushed Jeonghan back again by his forehead.

“Jeonghan,” you replied, an eyebrow raising in his direction. “It isn’t like you to get drunk.”

His lips were stretched down into a frown, and it was in this light that you could see how red his cheeks were.

“It’s been a week, y/n,” he mumbled. “I’ve been waiting for you for a week.” He thought back over what he said and sighed. “Two days since I’ve seen you… A week since I confessed… Wednesday doesn’t really count.”

Pain panged through your heart at Jeonghan’s words, and you blinked in surprise. You opened your mouth to say something to him. Apologize maybe… Something.

Instead, before you could, Jeonghan tipped his head back into the nap of your neck.

“You know, I don’t even care if you like me back,” Jeonghan mumbled. “Just need you to stop doing this to me. Stop leaving me.”

The party around you felt quiet in this moment.

“I think I should get you home,” you mumbled softly. Jeonghan protested against you.

“No, we’re at a party,” he protested. “Chan is going to be so mad if I leave. He wanted me to come here.”

“I think Chan will understand if you leave,” you said back. “I won’t take you back home, okay? I’ll bring you over to my place.”

Getting Jeonghan back to your place was a hassle, mostly in that no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t shake Chaedom off of your tail.

“You can’t get him back alone.” She pointed out. You tried to turn the attention away from her and get one of the boys to help you but as you were trying to get their attention Chaedom was dragging Jeonghan out of the party.

You cursed and rushed out to them.

“Chaedom.”

Her smile was sickeningly sweet.

“I’m just trying to help,” she insisted. “Where are we going?”

She cooed against Jeonghan’s ear.

“Maybe he would be happier back at my place.”

You glared at her.

“My apartment is a five minutes’ walk from here.”

You ducked yourself under one of Jeonghan’s arms. You sort of wished he wasn’t drunk solely for the fact that currently he was completely useless.

You weren’t sure exactly how much he had to drink that night but honestly it seemed like the only thing he could do was walk forward at your prodding. He wasn’t in any way interested in Chaedom, but just her holding Jeonghan despite the fact that she was helping was making you angry.

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” You mumbled as the three of you got to your front door. She shook her head.

“I’m still waiting for Jeonghan to remember that I’m here,” she replied softly. She reached around, tapping Jeonghan’s cheek. “Are you sure you don’t want to come over to my place baby?”

That tightness coiled in your chest, and you slapped her hand away from his face.

“Chaedom,” you warned. “He’s not your fucking baby.”

Chaedom rolled her eyes at your words, but readjusted her grip on Jeonghan again so that she was just supporting him. Jeonghan however, seemed to think that now was the right time to pipe into the conversation.

“Shouldn’t curse,” he chided you softly. “’s bad.”

You pressed your lips together, your eyes briefly fluttering shut because what the fuck. After a second however your attention was back on your front door. You pushed the door open, wide enough for Jeonghan (and subsequently Chaedom) to come inside.

Once inside, Jeonghan was able to unwrap himself from Chaedom’s grasp. He stumbled into your living room, and then glanced over at you from his shoulder.

“Remember the last time we were here?” He asked, his voice high and teasing.

“Jeonghan-”

“You literally crawled.” He shook his head in disbelief and looked over at Chaedom. “She’s literally so good for me. Does whatever I want her to.”

His words were a bit slurred, but unfortunately Chaedom could hear him just fine. Her lips pressed into a firm line.

“I could be good for you,” she protested. Jeonghan hummed, and suddenly dropped to the ground. Both you and Chaedom darted forward but before either of you could reach him, he was steadying himself so that he was sitting on the floor.

“You’re not good for me,” he denied, peering at Chaedom. “You don’t listen very well.”

“Jeonghan, get off the floor,” you chided with a sigh. You closed the distance between you two and pulled at his forearm. He refused to budge.

“I don’t want to,” he insisted.

“You sound like a baby,” you said bluntly. He pulled his arm out of your grasp and wrapped his arms over his chest.

“You should do something with me,” he insisted. “We could watch a movie, and I could fuck you during the climax.”

You shot Jeonghan a glare.

“Would you fuck me if I was drunk?” You asked him. He pressed his lips together in annoyance, but that was answer enough. “Then I’m not fucking you while you’re drunk.”

“I would let you fuck me while you were drunk,” Chaedom piped up unhelpfully.

“Chaedom-”

Before you could finish telling her off, Jeonghan’s fingers wrapped around your hand and he suddenly tugged you down. You let him bend your body forward, surprised by the sudden contact. Once he had you so that your face was near his he placed both of his hands on your cheeks, squeezing your face in his hands.

“Y/n, I just missed you,” he said, and there was a pathetic pout spread over his lips. Part of you wanted to blame the alcohol entirely on the behavior, but deep down you knew you couldn’t really. Jeonghan would probably talk to you like this either way. “I just really fucking missed you.”

It was probably just because Chaedom was here- No it was definitely because Chaedom was here, but you felt irritation shoot through you at his words.

“You shouldn’t curse,” you replied, sending his own words back at him. “It’s bad.”

That pout deepened on his lips for a moment and you felt bad for about two seconds.

“I don’t know why she is treating you like a baby,” Chaedom said. She walked up to the two of you and crouched down in front of Jeonghan. Jeonghan glanced at her. Briefly. But it bothered you. You pulled out of Jeonghan’s hands.

You willed yourself to not be so jealous of their interactions. It was really stupid to be upset when Jeonghan was practically giving Chaedom no attention at all.

“You need water,” you murmured. You walked into your kitchen, screaming in your head. “Chaedom would you like some too?”

“That would be nice yeah.”

You fought yourself from mocking her. You started to grab water from your fridge for the two and as you did you could hear Jeonghan and Chaedom talking and shuffling around. You forced yourself to focus on your fridge. Begging yourself not to turn around because it would just make you upset.

“Han-”

Something collided into your back jostling your body forward a little. You caught yourself on the door of the fridge, turning over your shoulder when you realized it was just Jeonghan. He wrapped his arms around your body and groaned into your back.

“Y/n, I don’t want water.”

You shimmied around in Jeognhan’s arms so that you were facing him. You buried your fingers into his hair and pulled his head up. He still had a dumb pout on his face, and it just made your heart skip a beat in your chest.

God, he was so cute.

“I didn’t ask if you wanted water,” you replied pointedly. You blindly reached into your fridge and luckily, grabbed a water bottle. You pulled it out of the fridge and took the lid off the bottle. You pressed it to his lips. “Drink.”

Jeonghan turned away from the bottle.

“No,” he argued back. “Kiss me.”

“You taste like alcohol,” you replied. “Drink the water, and maybe I’ll kiss you.”

Jeonghan’s eyebrows furrowed at you in frustration.

“But-”

You pushed the bottle back in front of his lips.

“Maybe,” you reasserted.

Jeonghan sighed and took the bottle out of your hands. When he lowered the bottle back down, half of the water was gone. A smile crossed his lips.

“A kiss?”

“I thought you said you didn’t care if I liked you,” you said softly. Jeonghan pulled himself closer to you, his face coming within inches of yours.

“I lied,” Jeonghan reasserted. He pressed closer to you, so that your lips brushed his. A smile crossed his lips and his eyes darted down. How could you say no to that?

You pressed your lips to his, something that Jeonghan immediately took control of. His hands raised to your face just so that he could deepen the kiss, but you didn’t let that last for too long. You pulled away from him, ignoring the way he chased you and whined.

“Y/n,” he insisted. You pulled yourself all the way out of his arms, and turned back to the fridge, grabbing a second water bottle.

“Finish your water and we’ll talk,” you replied. Jeonghan grumbled but raised his bottle back to his lips. You turned your attention back to Chaedom who was just sitting on your floor watching the two of you with an annoyed expression on her face.

You handed her the water bottle, trying not to throw it in her face.

“Did you drink a lot too?” You asked her. Or did you just get Jeonghan to drink a lot?

“Do you really care?” She bit back.

Touché.

You got to stand there for a good two seconds before Jeonghan was falling into you again.

“I drank a lot,” Jeonghan insisted. You raised an eyebrow towards him. “I meant water. I drank a lot of water.”

You rolled your eyes.

“You need to go to sleep,” you told him. Jeonghan groaned and tilted his face into your chest again.

“I get to see you for two seconds and then you make me go to sleep?” He complained. His fingers dug into your shirt. “I don’t want to sleep.”

“I very clearly didn’t ask,” you replied.

“You’re being mean to me,” Jeonghan complained. You were just barely aware that that was true.

“I wouldn’t be mean to you,” Chaedom asserted, unhelpfully, of course.

“You’re why she’s being mean to me,” Jeonghan bit out towards her. He looked up at you. “You’re jealous.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I’m not-”

Jeonghan’s fingers tightened in your hair and he straightened up holding your head tight so that you were forced to face him.

“Don’t lie to me, y/n,” he said, his voice low. “I may be drunk but I’m not stupid. You know Chaedom doesn’t mean anything to me.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, refusing to say anything. Really just embarrassed because your jealousy was being outed in front of the person who you were jealous of. You did know that Chaedom didn’t mean anything to Jeonghan. You still didn’t like it when she touched him.

“Y/n, say it.”

You scoffed, letting the silence fill between the two of you.

“I’ll-”

Before Chaedom could piss you off more you murmured: “I know Chaedom doesn’t mean anything to you.”

Jeonghan nodded with a hum.

“Good.”

You let your attention turn back to him.

“I’m not just being jealous when I say that you need to sleep,” you insisted. You wrinkled your nose. “I can smell the alcohol from here.”

Jeonghan’s lips quirked down.

“But-”

“Seriously,” you insisted. “You left some clothes over last time and you can sleep in them. Just go to bed and I’ll see you in the morning.”

Jeonghan’s eyebrows rose suddenly, and his fingers loosened in your hair.

“You…” He trailed off and shook his head. “You’ve got to stop keeping men’s clothes after you’re done sleeping with them.”

“I-” You exhaled your frustration. “I wasn’t…” You glanced over at Chaedom. “This isn’t a conversation I want to have in front of Chaedom and this isn’t a conversation I want to have with you when you’re drunk.”

Jeonghan’s eyes briefly followed yours and he looked at Chaedom. A genuinely pained look crossed his face.

“Can’t you just leave?”

A pout crossed her lips.

“But I’m so drunk.”

Jeonghan’s eyes turned back to you and he sent you a pitiful expression.

“I want to talk now,” he insisted. “You always put off talking.”

To be honest, you did always put off talking with him. You should have come to him way earlier. It was like they always said… If they wanted to they would. You could have made time for him if you had really tried but… You were nervous.

There was no fear of rejection and yet, an unpleasant feeling was building in your throat.

“Tomorrow,” you said softly. “When you are sober.” His expression didn’t change. “I promise.” Still the same. “Really.”

Finally, Jeonghan relented. He let his hands fall to the side.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “But you’re going to sleep with me… Right?”

You gave Jeonghan a stiff nod. He nodded back to you and turned, swaying a little as if his drunkness had finally come back to him. He looked back over his shoulder and pointed to Chaedom.

“If you ever talk to me again.” He didn’t finish but his tone and expression were serious. Then another pained expression crossed his face. “I’m going to go throw up.”

You and Chaedom watched him stumble to the bathroom. Normally, you thought you would follow him. Hold his hair back, but Chaedom was still here.

You glanced over at her.

“Can you leave now?” You asked. She rolled her eyes and walked over to your couch. She plopped down on it defiantly.

You sighed, and disappeared down your hallway, reappearing with a spare blanket and a pillow. Yeah, you hated her, but to her credit her cheeks were red from the alcohol and you thought maybe the reason that she was always so… Shameless was maybe because she was always drunk when you saw her.

You threw the blanket and pillow at her face.

“There’s water in my fridge,” you mumbled. “Don’t die in my living room.”

As you wandered down the hall, you stopped by your bathroom, peaking in at Jeonghan. He was laying with his head on your toilet seat. You cracked the door open leaning on the doorframe.

“That’s disgusting.”

He held up a bottle of bathroom cleaner.

“I cleaned it,” he replied. “Made it worse. Bleach makes me want to wretch.”

He turned his head into your toilet bowl a little, his cheeks puffing out briefly. He sat there for a little bit, the strands of his hair falling pathetically into his eyes.

You closed the distance between you two, crouching in front of him. You brushed the hair out of his face, your thumb flickering over his cheekbone. He let his eyes flutter closed at the touch.

“It wasn’t worth it to drink,” he mumbled. “I’m going to be in so much pain tomorrow.”

You stared at him for so long that he opened his eyes, giving you the biggest puppy dog eyes, you had ever seen from a man in his 20s.

“You make me stupid, y/n,” he said softly.

You pressed your lips together tightly and nodded once. You didn’t respond to that because how could you? It was still a little baffling. Jeonghan, the campus play boy, made stupid by you.

Your eyes drifted away from Jeonghan briefly.

You wondered if he realized how stupid he made you. All your years as a psychology student were made null when it came to him. It was like when you were with him you forgot how to have healthy communication. You really had to work on that.

“You think you can make it to the bedroom?” You asked him softly. His eyes closed again, an annoyed groan vibrating through his body. “Well, I’m not going to stay with you in the bathroom. I’m tired.”

You pulled your hand away from Jeonghan, which just made him whine in protest.

“It’s like babysitting,” you protested even though honestly you would stay up with a drunk Jeonghan for as long as he wanted you to. You were just frustrated. Chaedom was still in your living room and for some reason even though Jeonghan had literally confessed his love to you she still thought she had a chance and-

“Help me up,” Jeonghan practically pleaded. You rolled your eyes, and grabbed Jeonghan by his wrist, tugging him up.

“Yeah, yeah.”

-

When you woke up, you were partially afraid to move. Jeonghan had an armed draped over your chest, and his head rested on your stomach.

After an hour you realized that you needed to get up no matter if Jeonghan was up or not. It was better to wake him up with food, probably.

You somehow managed to untangle yourself from his body without waking him, and you ended up leaving him splayed over your sheets, eyebrows furrowed. You wondered what he was dreaming about.

You walked down your hallway,

“What are you making?”

You barely muffled a scream by slapping your hand over your lips. You exhaled sharply, your eyes closing and nose furrowing slightly when you realized that it was just Chaedom standing at the edge of your kitchen.

“Why the…” You buried your face in your hand. “Chaedom why are you still here?”

She didn’t speak so you let your hand drop to your sides. She was staring at you, one of her cheeks red from having slept on it, her tight dress bunched up just a little higher than it should have been and her hair a tangled mess.

You felt kind of bad for her.

A little.

“He doesn’t love you,” you said. You shifted your attention. “He doesn’t even like you. Why are you doing this?”

She just stood there, staring at you.

“Look, you’re pretty, you’re better than this,” you said. “What is the point of going after some frat guy who is notorious for fucking around? So, what if Yoon Jeonghan doesn’t want to fuck you. I’m sure plenty of guys want to. Why are wasting your time on the one who doesn’t like you?”

Chaedom’s gaze dropped away from you, her bottom lip quivering slightly. You sucked in a small breath, about to continue berating her when a soft sob wrecked through her body.

“My boyfriend cheated on me,” she blurted. Your eyebrows rose in surprise at the confession, but before you could say anything in response she was colliding into your chest, her arms wrapping tightly around her body.

“Oh-”

“I thought that he loved me,” she cried into your chest, her tears literally already soaking through your pajama shirt. “I thought he loved me but then he fucking cheated on me and I thought men fucking suck, I’m just going to sleep with whoever makes me feel good about myself.”

Her fingers balled into your shirt and she pulled her face from out of your chest to look up at you from behind her red eyes.

“And then the first guy that I go to sleep with. The one who is the ultimate fuck boy, who is all no commitments and fuck whoever walks doesn’t want to sleep with me because suddenly he isn’t a trash human being.”

She let out another loud cry and then her forehead tipped back into your chest. She briefly knocked the breath out of you, and you stumbled a little to accommodate her weight.

“And I can’t even blame him,” she wailed into your stomach. “You’re fucking beautiful and kind and perfect.”

Your mouth dropped a little bit.

“Men really do change for the right people and Shindong just wouldn’t change for me.”

You couldn’t help the confused expression that spread over your face. You stood there motionless for a little bit, waiting for her crying to calm down. After a few minutes it didn’t. You pressed your eyes shut tightly when you realized that you were going to have to actually to confront the conversation.

You awkwardly patted Chaedom’s back.

“Hey,” you said uncertainly. She just kept sobbing into your chest. “Hey, Chaedom you-” You sighed, and pressed your hand to her forehead, pushing her back. “Go… Go sit down on at the island, okay?”

The tears continued to run down her cheeks, and she took two large breaths.

“I don’t want to impede,” she managed to get out. You were so strong and such a good person for being able to hold yourself back because wasn’t everything she had done since you met her impeding?

“It’s fine,” you insisted. “Just… Sit okay?”

Chaedom sniffled but nodded, finally peeling off of you. She walked over to one of the stools and fitted herself on it.

“Look, you’re wrong, okay?” You said softly. You grabbed one of your skillets and cracked an egg into it, turning up the heat on the stove. “Men don’t change for people. People don’t even change for people. They just don’t.”

You turned over your shoulder to look at her.

“The psychology behind cheating is complicated because sometimes it makes sense and it’s easy to pin down. People cheat because they are angry or have low commitment or esteem issues. Some people are just fucking narcissists and they get bored so they just do something to see how the other person will react. I don’t know why Shindong cheated on you. Even Shindong might not know why he cheated on you.”

Chaedom’s bottom lip quivered.

“So… I should… I should take him back?”

“No,” you blurted back, shaking your head. “I’m saying that you are going to spend hours and days and weeks, maybe even months trying to figure out why he did what he did. But you won’t. You will never know why, and even if he tells you, you can never trust him.”

You shrugged and turned your attention back to the eggs.

“Because he lied to you once, and if he gets away with it once he will try to get away with it again,” you continued. “I mean the way that men and women cheat is different. There are a lot of studies done about how it seems that men generally cheat for the sexual thrill while women tend to cheat due to feelings of love or intimacy-”

Your eyes narrowed a little as you realized you were wildly getting off-track. Your summer psychology project was finally coming in use and you were a little too excited over that.

“Not the point.” You focused back in on the eggs. “Shindong cheated on you, and he probably would have cheated on someone else too. In my experience, no matter who it was Shindong would have cheated. You couldn’t have changed him. That’s just who he is down to his core.”

You scooped some of the eggs onto a plate, and walked over to Chaedom, pushing the plate of eggs towards her. You gave her a pressed smile and grabbed a glass of juice for her. You quirked your eyebrows up slightly silently telling her to eat.

She complied, but as soon as she had a mouthful of eggs in her mouth she was talking again.

“Bafeawut faow shoes chat mesplain wan.”

Your eyebrows furrowed.

“What?”

She swallowed.

“But how does that explain Jeonghan?” She repeated. “He was a fuck boy, and he changed for you.”

“He didn’t change for me,” you denied. You cracked a few more eggs into the skillet. “The Jeonghan who stopped sleeping with other people and became desperate for my attention and turned down everyone for me wasn’t a change in personality.”

As you spoke you heard a creak from down the hall. Both you and Chaedom glanced into the hall and you saw that Jeonghan was standing there. He looked exhausted, his whole body weight leaned onto the wall. You pressed your lips into a thin smile.

“That’s just who he’s been all along.”

“That’s a nice sentiment,” Jeonghan drawled softly. “But not completely true. Maybe I didn’t change but there is no one in this world like you.”

You rolled your eyes, glancing away from him and back to Chaedom.

“You’re not meant to be with Shindong, and you’re not meant to be with Jeonghan but that doesn’t mean that you’re unlovable,” you pressed. “You’ll find someone, you just have to give it time is all.”

Chaedom let out an annoyed sound and let her face fall to the counter. Your mouth dropped open at the sudden action and to be completely honest, you were a bit worried that she had hurt herself. But then she turned her head to the side and blurted out: “Everything hurts.”

You realized that physically she was fine.

Jeonghan wandered over to the counter and sat down two stools away from Chaedom. He gave her an uncomfortable look and then his eyes flitted back to yours. He pressed his lips into a small pout.

“You made her eggs before me?”

You rolled your eyes and gestured to the eggs in the skillet.

“You were asleep. Just wait a second.”

Chaedom peeled her face up and looked at Jeonghan with a still pathetic expression on her face. Jeonghan’s nose wrinkled a little.

“Chaedom,” he mumbled.

“Jeonghan,” she replied.

You couldn’t believe that this was your life. Free therapy for a girl you hated, and babysitting for a guy who was in love with you.

You dumped Jeonghan’s eggs onto a plate and then placed them in front of him. He grabbed you by the wrist when you were close to him and pulled you in a little more. Your breath caught and you pressed your lips together.

His eyes flickered down to said lips. He smiled.

“Y/n-”

“Not in front of Chaedom,” you insisted, pulling away from him. He pouted again, but you turned away so that you didn’t have to look at him.

Breakfast was awkward, the silence in the room deafening but you were avoiding Jeonghan’s eye contact like it was the plague and Chaedom was still crying to the point were you were seriously considering saying more.

Before it could get to that point however she sucked in a deep breath and nodded.

“I should get going.”

It was a relief to hear those words, and you saw Jeonghan perk up but you tried not to let your excitement show too much.

“Yeah?” You managed out. She sighed and nodded, getting to her feet and sending you a sad smile.

“I think I’ve overdone my stay a little.”

You didn’t agree but… You wanted to. Chaedom got to her fear and you followed to the door (but you could hear the padding of Jeonghan’s feet on the ground behind him so you knew he was following too).

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” You asked softly, unable to believe that the words were leaving your mouth out of a genuine place for concern. Chaedom gave you a tired smile, her eyes still dark red from all the crying she had been doing.

“I’m going to a friend’s house,” she assured. “Thanks for everything.”

Jeonghan was still hovering close to you, his hand on the small of your back. You respected that he was fighting so hard to not be too touchy but… you were glad that his hands were on you.

… And not Chaedom.

Chaedom’s eyes went to Jeonghan’s as if she could hear your thoughts.

“You know if you get tired of y/n, you can always call me.” She laughed and somehow within the laugh she started to cry again. You felt your fingers balling into tight fists. “I’m kidding. I-I’m going to go now.”

She gave you both a wave.

“I’ll see you later,” you said, giving her a pressed smile. She smiled back and then suddenly darted forward, wrapping her arms around your body tightly.

“You are so nice.”

You swallowed hard and patted her back.

“It’s… Going to be okay,” you assured. She nodded and pulled away.

“Okay, thanks.”

And then finally she was gone.

You felt your whole body deflate as soon as Jeonghan shut the door behind her, and without even thinking you tilted your head forward into his chest. You let out a loud groan. Jeonghan’s hand came to your head, and he patted you comfortingly.

“You were very strong to be so nice,” Jeonghan complimented softly. “If that were Yeongtae, I would have snapped him in half.”

You rolled your eyes and didn’t respond to him.

“Of course, you took out your rage towards her at me, which is annoying.”

“If I go to another party-” You looked up at him and sent him a glare. “And Chaedom, is wrapped around you as if she has a chance-”

Jeonghan dipped his head down, his lips pressing briefly to yours. Your eyes fluttered shut, and as naturally as you breathed, you pressed into the kiss. The hand on your back pressed you closer, and Jeonghan’s other hand raised to the back of your head.

He broke the kiss, his lips quirking upwards.

“You really have nothing to be jealous over,” Jeonghan assured softly. “And it’s really not healthy, but I love how jealous you get…  You’re so fucking cute. As if I would ever look at anyone the way I look at you.”

His lips pressed briefly to yours again. You pulled away slightly, taking a sharp breath.

“W-We,” you breathed softly. “We need to talk, don’t we?”

Another small exhale and Jeonghan was creating more space between the two of you. His eyes narrowed a little, his nose scrunching very slightly. He gave you a very focused expression.

“Is it going to go well?” He asked you. “Because if the answer is that you are rejecting me, but you’ll kiss me before the conversation then we can push it back a little bit.”

A small laugh vibrated through your body.

“That’s not very healthy,” you reminded him softly, as if you had been the prime example of healthy communication and relationship managing this week. He rolled his eyes.

“Okay, let’s talk,” he agreed. He peeled away from you, patting you on the shoulders. He seemed hesitant to pull away from you completely, but after a few moments he finally did. He took in a sharp breath and nodded.

“Do we need a recap?”

Your eyebrows furrowed.

“A recap?” You mumbled. He nodded.

“I… Really want a relationship with you,” he said softly. “I don’t want to lose you to someone you think will treat you better. No one will treat you better than me.”

“You didn’t…” You glanced away from him. “Didn’t quite say that before.”

“No?” Jeonghan’s voice was so quiet.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t said that, exactly. You just hadn’t really expected to hear it so… Directly.

“So… You like me, and you want to date me,” you replied softly. Trying to just nod slowly. Jeonghan’s eyes on you were making it really hard to focus. “And… I like you… For sure. So, the logical next step is to… Date you.”

Jeonghan didn’t say anything, for so long that you couldn’t help but look over at him. He was watching you with a different expression than you thought that he would have on his face. It wasn’t relief or excitement. His eyebrows were furrowed, lips turned down. He seemed concerned.

“Do you want to date me?” He asked you. Your lips pressed together, and you nodded, but there was a knot in your throat. Jeonghan’s eyebrows furrowed further. “You know you don’t have to do everything that I want you to. If you just want to sleep together still, I can do that.”

That wasn’t what you wanted. But somehow voicing that seemed terrifying. Jeonghan let you try to formulate words for a while, before finally speaking again.

“Y/n, can I hear about your relationship with Yunjun?”

A topic change was exactly what you had wanted, but a topic change to this was not what you had wanted. It was worse, possibly.

“No,” you mumbled softly. Jeonghan nodded.

“Okay,” he said.

You two were completely quiet before you shook your head, scrunching your nose.

“No, I mean. Yeah, uh, it wasn’t really a relationship,” you replied. “It was sort of like us? I mean, we weren’t actually strangers. He knew someone I knew, and we ended up sleeping together and he was rough and I liked that so…” You felt like you were going into too much detail. “We saw each other for a few months? I think, and then I broke it off.”

“Why?” He prodded.

“He was mean,” you said with a shrug. “Most of my past flings with people were like that. But I mean, that’s the hazard when I like what I do right?”

You tried to laugh it off to lighten the mood, but Jeonghan didn’t crack a smile. In fact, the expression on his face was terrifying. He wasn’t mad, he wasn’t happy. He was listening and you couldn’t figure out exactly what he was feeling.

“Have you dated many people?” Jeonghan asked. You shook your head.

“Only a few,” you replied. You were quiet for a little while, but Jeonghan didn’t rush you. “Honestly mostly just fucked people casually. No dates. Always people I knew but wasn’t close to. Always happened more than once.” Again, too much detail. Jeonghan didn’t comment on that.

“Did you break up with them?”

“That’s a weird question,” you mumbled and again you were quiet. Why was talking to Jeonghan about this so hard? You could tell Jeongyeon about these things in your sleep, but with Jeonghan you honestly felt like you were suffocating.

Maybe it was just because you knew Jeongyeon so well. You could probably fuck five guys at the same time in front of her and she wouldn’t shame you for it. If you really wanted to, you could tell her every gruesome detail of your relationship with Jeonghan and she would listen intently and try to see it your way.

It was Jeongyeon and this was Jeonghan and they were different.

Would Jeonghan judge you for your dating history? Would he think you were actually a slut if he heard about the way that you let other men treat you? Why did you even care? You never cared what others thought of you.

“Yeah. I’ve always been the one to end things.”

Jeonghan was quiet and you had to look at him again. He was so good at getting your attention. Jeonghan held a hand out to you, and without thinking too much you took it. He pulled you closer to him.

“Am I too mean to you?” He asked softly. You shook your head, looking up at him nervously. “I don’t ever want to hurt you y/n. I lied to you and that is the last stupid thing that I will ever do.”

Jeonghan took your other hand in his and his thumbs circled over your knuckles.

“But if this is too much for you-”

“It’s not,” you pressed. “I just…” You pressed your lips together shyly, stubbornly keeping your eyes on the floor. “Say it again…”

“Again?” He asked softly. He seemed a little confused. “Say what again?”

You didn’t want to say it but he kept letting the stupid silence fill the room. Your voice was as quiet as you could make it.

“Say that you want to date me again.”

You didn’t have to be looking at Jeonghan to know he was smiling at you.

 “I want to date you,” he said, and you could hear his amusement in the heightenedness of his voice.

You kept your eyes on the ground.

“Again.”

“I want to date you.”

“… Again.”

Jeonghan pulled you a bit by your hands and ducked his head so that he was able to look at you.

“Y/n, I want to date you.”

Your face was suddenly hot. You turned your head away from him but then Jeonghan’s fingers were on your chin. He turned you to face him.

“I want to date you. I want-”

You laughed, unable to help the smile that was crossing your lips.

“Really Jeonghan,” you said, honestly trying to change the topic even though you knew there was no world in which Jeonghan let that happen. “All of this time you were sleeping with all these different people. Why do you suddenly want to date someone? Are you really ready to just… Settle for one person?”

“I settled for you the moment that I realized you would sleep with me twice,” Jeonghan replied softly. “But… I think that you know that. Don’t you?”

You let your eyes flit away from him.

“Not initially,” you denied. Jeonghan huffed out a small laugh.

“What was it you said to me… That it would be stupid to ask me to settle…?” His tone was airy, so unserious. “That even if I hadn’t asked you not to sleep with other people you wouldn’t because sex with me is just so good.”

“That is not what I said,” you protested. Jeonghan laughed.

“That’s basically what you said,” Jeonghan replied. “Look at it this way, you’re y/n.” Your words sent right back at you. You gave him a look that was honestly mostly embarrassment. “That was the day that I realized just how desperate I really was just for your attention.”

“You’re ridiculous Jeonghan,” you chided softly. “You just… The me that you think you’re in love with-”

“I haven’t said that I love you yet,” Jeonghan interrupted. Your eyes widened at his words.

“Wha-”

“I haven’t said it yet,” he repeated with a shrug. “You think I’m in love with you, hm? Do you think… Maybe you’re projecting a little? You love me and you want me to love you back?”

Your mouth gaped open but before you could think about it too much, Jeonghan was laughing.

“I’m joking,” he breathed. “I love you, y/n. I don’t think that I’m in love with you. I know I love you. The you that I think I’m in love with? It’s just you.”

“Jeonghan we hardly know each other.”

Hurt flashed in Jeonghan’s eyes and you immediately regretted your words. He didn’t let you feel bad about it for long though.

“Again, if this is too much for you…” Your eyes were screaming at him. Not too much. He sighed. “The point of dating is to get to know each other.”

“I know what the point of dating is,” you mumbled.

“Do you?” Jeonghan asked. There was a challenge in his voice. “Y/n, ever since we met we’ve been getting to know one another.”

“Are you sure that you aren’t… In love with some version of me that isn’t… Me.”

Jeonghan went silent again, and to be completely honest you didn’t think that you had ever really seen him frustrated at you. Not, outside of sex at least. But right now? He looked to be at his wits end. But… Not angry. Frustrated. Never angry.

Not at you at least.

“What do you see me as?” Jeonghan asked. Confusion flickered across your face.

“You’re Jeonghan,” you replied pointedly. It wasn’t enough for him; he arched an eyebrow your way. You sighed. “You are Jeonghan. Yoon Jeonghan. You love legos and you’re probably the most delicate frat boy in existence. You’re kind and deceivingly sensitive. You’re always gentle… And caring. You make me feel so… Loved.”

“See,” Jeonghan pressed. “We know each other. When you walked into my bedroom for the first time, then we hardly knew each other. But before you just knew me as Yoon Jeonghan the playboy. Now you know me as Yoon Jeonghan the angel of Alpha Mu.”

“I don’t even know your major,” you said bluntly, completely ignoring the angel comment.

“Don’t you want to find out?”

You two stared at each other. Silent.

“Do you still need time to think?” Jeonghan asked you. “I can give you more space. I’m sorry for drinking so much. I’m sorry if I burdened you-”

“Jeonghan,” you blurted but he ignored you. He started to pull away from you, but you grabbed more tightly onto his wrist. You tugged at him so that he was forced to stay close to you. “I want to date you.”

Jeonghan’s mouth closed.

“You’re right,” you admitted, but your voice was quiet.

“About what?”

Your fingers squeezed at his wrist.

“I was being mean to you because of Chaedom,” you mumbled. “You love me. Whatever. It’s still annoying that stupid Chaedom is all over you. And I want to date you. I do. I missed you this last week. I miss you every time I don’t come see you outside of parties. But no matter what you say or how close we get you are always going to be Yoon Jeonghan, one of the most eligible bachelors on campus.”

“And you will always be y/n,” Jeonghan insisted. “I think you’re more desired by the campus than you think.” He hummed. “But most importantly… You’re mine… Yeah?”

You swallowed hard; your eyes frustratingly focused on Jeonghan whose eyes were frustratingly focused right back on you. You nodded.

“Yeah.”

Finally, finally Jeonghan let you close the distance between you two. His hands found their way to your hips and he pulled you close to him.

“You gonna say it for me?” He asked you softly. “Need a little bit more than just a yeah.”

Heat was pooling your cheeks. Suddenly you were more embarrassed than you had ever been with him.

“I’m yours,” you whispered softly. “As long as-”

“I’m yours too,” Jeonghan promised, before you could even finish asking him. He dipped his head towards you and teasingly brushed his lips against yours. You tried to press your lips more firmly together, but he pulled away just enough to leave you unsatisfied. “I’m greedy y/n.”

You tried to focus back in on Jeonghan who was smiling at you in a very distracting manner.

“Greedy?”

“Mhm,” he hummed. “I knew that you were mine. Even though you hadn’t said it. Even though you were gone for a week. You know how?”

You shook your head.

“Because you still have those silly little hickeys,” he whispered back. You raised your hands to the back of his neck letting a frustrated expression cross your face.

“All you do is tease me,” you mumbled. “Why do you have to make me say things you already know?”

“Because I’m greedy,” Jeonghan repeated. “And I like to hear it. Your mine.”

You took that as your chance. You dragged Jeonghan’s head down by applying pressure on the back of his neck, finally firmly pressing your lips together. Jeonghan let a small laugh leave his lips but didn’t try to pull away from you.

You never got to be in control of the kisses, and so you were relishing being able to be in control of this one. Your fingers buried into Jeonghan’s hair, and you pressed him closer and closer to you. So grateful to finally be alone. So grateful to be kissing him again. So grateful to finally be done talking.

Jeonghan pulled away from you and you shamelessly let a whine leave your lips as you chased him. He laughed.

“I can’t believe that you’re the one always running from me,” Jeonghan breathed. His hands dipped under your shirt, his cool fingers pressing against your warm skin. “Because you are kissing me right now like you need me to breath.”

You blamed frustration completely and entirely and nothing else could possibly be behind what you said next.

“I fucking feel like I need you to breath.” Ew, ew, ew. “Jeonghan, it’s been a week.”

Jeonghan hummed, ignoring your obvious pleas. Ignoring the fact that your words had made you want to die a little on the inside. Jeonghan didn’t care. You didn’t understand how he always had such immense patience when it came to literally everything. His hands were roaming over your skin so lightly. His touch like a feather. He was so confident that you were just going to stand there and take it. Like he owned you.

“I do own you,” Jeonghan mumbled as if he could hear your thoughts. His head dipped into your neck, his lips ghosting across your skin. “Isn’t that what you said? Your mine?”

“I didn’t say you owned me,” you mumbled. A lie, and you both knew it was. Jeonghan hummed.

“Someone forgot about how you begged me to own you the last time I had my hands on you,” Jeonghan mumbled. “And you certainly are acting with a lot more humility than you usually do.”

His eyes drifted up to yours as his lips brushed your neck.

“Does being vulnerable really humiliate you more than degradation?”

Your face was burning and it was all the answer that Jeonghan needed. He ducked his head back into your neck, his fingers trailing up your back to toy at the latch of your bra. You knew that Jeonghan knew had to unlatch your bra. You knew he could do it with one hand much less two.

He was teasing you. He was still teasing you.

You experimentally let your hands drift down Jeonghan’s body, pressing firmly on his shirt at the bottom and pushing up. Jeonghan just hummed against you, teeth agonizingly dragging over the nape of your neck.

“Someone’s getting impatient.”

“You’re too patient,” you argued back. “You can’t touch me like this and then act surprised when I want you to take your shirt off.”

As you spoke you lost your confidence because Jeonghan’s mouth trailed down your neck, to your clavicle and then he was pushing your shirt off and you couldn’t help but get excited. You grabbed the hem of your shirt and backed away from Jeonghan, pulling the shirt over your head and tossing it to the floor.

A small laugh left his mouth and he nodded slowly.

“Well, you might as well take the rest of your clothes off,” he said, his voice low and teasing. A small frown crossed your lips. Well, a pout really.

“You’re not taking your clothes off,” you mumbled. Jeonghan crossed his arms over his chest, an eyebrow raising, and his face growing serious.

“Maybe I should reword,” Jeonghan mumbled. “If you’re going to act like a whore needing to take my shirt off when I’m trying to just enjoy time with my pretty toy than you are going to do as I ask. Take your clothes off now.”

You didn’t have to be told twice. You began to as quickly as possible undress, the cold air of the kitchen, ripping a shiver from you as you kicked your pants off. Once you were completely naked, you threw your hands behind your back, trying to hide an excited look as Jeonghan stared at you.

His expression remained serious and he remained quiet. Still not moving to undress. Still not touching you.

“Jeonghan-”

“Did I say you could talk?” Jeonghan asked. You pressed your lips together tightly, shaking your head once as your body heated up like it was on fire. Jeonghan tutted softly, raising a hand to head so that he could brush some of the strands out of his face. “On your knees y/n.”

You dropped down instantly, your body buzzing with excitement as Jeonghan started to walk towards you. Your eyes stayed on him, suddenly not feeling nervous about holding I contact with him. Once Jeonghan was within arms reach of you he stopped, unzipping his pants and working out his dick without taking them off at all.

“What’s your safe word baby?”

You were quick to answer, barely even the first syllable out before you were telling it to him. He cracked a smile.

He stepped a little closer to you, tapping the tip of his already hard cock against your bottom lip. Before you opened your mouth for him he was pushing the head of his cock into your mouth. You fell forward a little bit, your hands grabbing onto Jeonghan’s jean clad thighs for better stability.

He didn’t completely like that. One of his hands buried into your hair, tugging at you sharply.

“Did I say that you could touch me?” He asked you. You tried to shake your head, but his grip was too tight. Before you could try to even answer in a different way, he was pushing his cock even further into your mouth. “I asked you a question.”

Your eyes widened as you looked at Jeonghan, trying to shake your head again but it was useless. Jeonghan didn’t care about your efforts. Instead he focused on pushing his cock deep into your throat, not stopping until the only thing you could comfortingly look at was his pelvis.

“So bad,” Jeonghan chided lightly, his fingers loosened in your hair, but another hand found its way to your head. “Can’t even answer a single question.”

His fingers held your head in place and he slowly pulled his cock out of your mouth again. Once his tip was on your tongue he was pushing back inside of you, setting a slow pace of fucking your mouth. There should be nothing hot about a man who was just using your mouth to get off, but the little groans and moans that were tumbling from Jeonghan’s mouth were going straight to your core.

Your fingers tightened their grip on Jeonghan despite having been told off for having your hands there. You didn’t even care, and Jeonghan didn’t deem it important enough to mention right away. His pace slowly began to quicken, his hips snapping as if he was fucking your pussy. You couldn’t help the little whimpers that were leaving your cock-stuffed mouth as he began to fuck your face harder, and you knew that was just spurring him on even further.

“You look so pretty when your mouth is being fucked,” Jeonghan mumbled, his voice low and muddled with pleasure. “So nice when your mouth is so full of cock you can’t talk to me. All you can do is take my cock.”

You moaned at his words and he had to readjust his hands, giving you a couple of seconds to recatch your breath before going right back into it. His thrusts hard and fast.

“Hate it when you leave for a week,” he mumbled. “You come around telling me how much you love my dick as if you didn’t ignore me all week.”

He was going faster, and you could feel his cock twitch in your mouth and his fingers tightening their grip on your head. His voice was becoming a breathier, all evidence that he was getting closer and closer to coming down your throat.

“I would have fucked you every day this week if I could have,” Jeonghan mumbled. “And I will fuck you everyday now that your mine. There’s no excuse anymore for you to be embarrassed by how much you like me.”

Your face blazed but before he could say more Jeonghan was moaning loudly, shoving your face into his abdomen firmly as he shot hot come down your throat. Your eyes were beginning to water, small tears running down your cheeks, but you did your best take it well.

Still when he let your face go you coughed a bit of his come dribbling out of your mouth onto your chin. Jeonghan knelt in front of you, grasping your chin tightly between his fingers. His swiped his thumb across the cum and then pushed his thumb into your mouth.

“Cause that’s why you don’t come around all the time isn’t it y/n? You like me so much that you’re embarrassed about it.”

Your sucked on Jeonghan’s thumb but your eyes flitted away from him. Jeonghan pulled his thumb from your mouth and hit your cheek. You hissed in surprise (not so much pain) but Jeonghan was smiling when you looked back at him.

“That’s okay you don’t have to admit it,” he cooed. “But you’ll admit it to me one of these days.”

He soothed over the cheek that he had hit, a little pout spread over his lips, feigning pity for you and the fact that he had hit you.

“But right now I can’t expect you to be so honest huh?” His voice was so condescending and it was only turning you on more and the worst part was he knew that. His hand lowered to your cunt and only then did you realize how embarrassingly wet you were. His fingers pressed between your thighs and you instinctively spread your legs out a little bit for him, the dampness of your thighs meeting the cool air and sending a chill through your body. “Look at you, you’re already so horny that you can’t think about anything but my dick can you?”

He hummed and immediately pushed two fingers deep into you. You cried out, falling back on your hands, your mouth dropping open into a small pant as he began to fuck you hard on his fingers. There was a slight burn from the stretch but it felt so good, you couldn’t complain even if you wanted to.

“All I did was fuck your pretty little mouth and yet you’re dripping all over your floor like a bitch in heat.”

A whimper was practically ripped from your mouth, and you couldn’t help but shift your body so that your ass was on the floor just so that you had some stability. Jeonghan snickered as your back hit the ground. Your face burying into your hands as you tried to muffle yourself.

Jeonghan let out an annoyed huff and he sharply smacked your thigh.

“Why are you being so quiet now?” He asked you. “Acting like you don’t usually have an audience of twelve boys… No point in trying to save face when I’ve made you scream before.”

You whined into your hands, refusing to move them when all Jeonghan was doing was humiliating you today. Jeonghan didn’t like that, and he expressed that by shoving a third finger into you. Your back arched in pleasure and you threw your hands to the floor.

“I’m sorry,” you blurted. “It’s just- Fuck, it’s just embarrassing.”

“I’ve done worse to you,” Jeonghan commented, and he was right but that didn’t make it less embarrassing. It wasn’t even that he was fucking you really. Or… About you. Or teasing you, or that he’d fucked your face.

You still had that same residual embarrassment from the fact that you two were… Dating now…? That it was just making your heart pound that much harder.

“I wonder what I should do with you today,” Jeonghan pondered. “How many times should I make my pretty little toy come?” His thumb smashed down on your clit and it made you cry out again.

“You’re being so rough,” you whined, your fingers balling against the floor.

“Do you not like it?” He didn’t halt his pace, instead you suspected he was being even faster the sound of his fingers fucking you echoing in your apartment. You didn’t want to answer him. He knew you liked it but then his fingers smacked on your clit, hard.

“I do,” you blurted. “I fucking like it, like it so much.”

Jeonghan chuckled, and his fingers slipped from you.

“You’re being so bad today y/n,” he chided lightly. “What happened to my pretty baby who listens to me no matter what?”

He grabbed you by your hips, shifting you closer to him. He pushed himself in between your legs, settling himself there as he tapped the tip of his cock against your clit. Your thrusted up towards Jeonghan’s dick, desperate for him to slid into you, and when your bare thighs rubbed against the cloth of his sweatpants it just made you that much more desperate.

“And you’re so quiet too. Scared of your own voice, hm? You know I like it when you beg like my own little whore.”

The tip of Jeonghan’s dick dipped into you and you fought everything in your body not to fuck yourself on him. You just let another whine leave your mouth.

“Jeonghan I’m so sorry for leaving so long,” you mumbled, and as you spoke Jeonghan was slipping his cock into you. You forced your eyes shut as he wrapped his arms around your body, coming fully seated inside of you. “I’m so sorry, I need you so badly. Need you to fuck me, really really-”

Jeonghan cut you off with a hard thrust, his lips brushing against yours teasingly.

“I don’t actually want you to feel bad for leaving for a week,” Jeonghan mumbled. His teeth teased your bottom lip, and his fingers duck into your back. “Unlike you I’m patient and besides…”

Another hard thrust and you couldn’t help the scream that Jeonghan ended up swallowing into a rough kiss. He gave you another hard thrust, your body bouncing, afraid to grab him but really needing to not only for purchase but also just to be close to him.

“You’re always worth the wait.”

You must have clamped down on Jeonghan hard because as soon as you spoke Jeonghan was fucking you again, hard. He let your back hit the floor and placed his hands on either side of your head. His lips were pressed hard to yours and he wasn’t holding back in the slightest.

“Je-Jeon-“ You could barely get a word out. Your fingers twitched by your sides, trying desperately to hold onto the ground that it was literally impossible to hold on to. “I need-”

It was so hard to speak around Jeonghan’s mouth, but he let his lips pull away from yours as you tried to speak, placing his forehead to yours.

“What baby?” Fuck. His hands came up to your neck, his thumbs brushing the dip in your throat. “Something you want?”

You could tell he was trying to be teasing but it wasn’t coming off well right now because he was being so rough. His eyes were shut in concentration and he squeezed your neck lightly driving you even fucking crazier.

“Wanna touch you,” you managed to get out, your voice quiet. Jeonghan laughed.

“Is that so? Thought you were being bad today, why didn’t you just grab onto me huh?”

You let out a frustrated sound, wanting to grab him out of spite but wanting to be good like he was teasing you for even more.

“I’m good,” you managed to get out, but you sounded so pathetic and broken as you spoke, each thrust so rough that you were starting to practically sob on his cock. Jeonghan’s lips tilted down to your face, kissing at the tears that rolled down your cheeks.

“You want to prove that you’re good?” He asked, you nodded, your mouth open so that you could pant. “Why don’t you come for me? Want to feel you come on my cock again so bad… Missed it, missed you-”

He didn’t have to say more, he didn’t even have to touch your clit. A sob left your lips as pleasure whirled through your body. You couldn’t hold back if you wanted to, you desperately grabbed at Jeonghan’s biceps, squeezing at him hard to try and gain some control over your position.

Jeonghan didn’t even falter, instead he got faster, and harder.

“S-sensitive!” Was all that you managed to get out, and it just made Jeonghan hum against you.

“Is that so baby? Cause I’m nowhere near done with you.”

You whimpered, and you tightened your grip on Jeonghan.

“I’m going to make you come until you literally can’t come anymore,” Jeonghan promised. “Won’t stop until you either safe word or I’m finally satisfied. I wouldn’t blame you at all if you tapped out.”

As he spoke, you were already overcoming the slight discomfort from him fucking you through your orgasm. You shook your head desperately, knowing without even knowing how long it was going to go on for that you were not going to tap out.

Ignoring Jeonghan for a full week was such a terrible idea for you because it just meant that you needed him that much more. You felt so good with his cock stuffed inside of you, his hot breath on your cheek driving you feral. You readjusted your arms so that your fingers were threaded in the roots of Jeonghan’s hair.

You couldn’t help it, you started quietly begging Jeonghan to fuck you harder. You knew you were pulling a little at Jeonghan’s hair and normally you didn’t think he would entertain it but he didn’t seem to mind.

“You’re so slutty y/n,” he mumbled. “You submit to me so fast. So willingly. Wanted me to take my clothes off so badly but you don’t even actually care that I’m fucking you like some common whore.”

You nodded, still babbling, still nonsense and Jeonghan was eating it up.

“You’re not even making sense,” he teased, and as he spoke another orgasm was wracking through your body. Your head tilted up and your lips brushed against Jeonghan’s but he pulled away from you as you did. “My little baby, coming on my dick from being talked down to. Like it so much don’t you? Like it when I fuck you stupid. Why don’t you try and get another straight sentence out for me?”

Your eyebrows furrowed in concentration but Jeonghan’s lack of letting up was making it hard. With each thrust his sweat pants brushed against your clit and the friction was making you pull away form Jeonghan a little as you came down from your second orgasm.

Jeonghan didn’t mind that either. His thumbs pressed down together every now and then as you hiced, making your voice come in and out, your breathing becoming just that much more desperate. He was toying with you, enjoying the way that your wish to breath increased when he pushed down on you, letting up the pressure only so that he could watch you catch your breath and then take it away from you all over again.

You could feel another orgasm building up in your core, and this time you were chasing it, your abused pussy the last thing on your mind as you rolled your hips down on Jeonghan. You wanted him to come so badly. Wanted to feel him fill you up because you had felt so empty recently, and you must have been telling him exactly that because you felt Jeonghan’s cock twitch inside of you and:

“Yeah? You want it that badly?” He had somehow managed to steady his voice but you could tell by the sudden erraticness of his thrusts that he wasn’t actually that composed. You could also feel it in the slightly bending of his pointer fingers on the back of his neck, you were making it so hard for him not to come.

“Y-Yeah.” You finally managed to consciously get something out. “Need your cum so badly, don’t you want to fill me up? I want to feel full of you.”

Jeonghan tried to hum but it came out wrecked.

“So good at begging,” he praised and it affected you just as much as it did when he was degrading you. Your back arched and you pressed your chest into his tshirt covered chest. You couldn’t help it.

“Jeonghan pl-please, I-” You were interrupted not only by the feeling of come being shot deep inside of you but by Jeonghan’s lips crashing hard onto yours. You were crying like a baby on him as another orgasm was ripped through you and it hurt but the pain was practically null to the full burning pleasure that was filling your body as he shot string after string of cum inside of you.

His thrusting began to slow down until he was agonizingly slowly dragging his cock in and out of you. He was breathing hard against your lips, no longer kissing you, but pressed against your lips regardless. When he finally came to a stop inside of you his body slumped against yours.

“You’re so good for me,” he mumbled. “So good. Always so good for me.”

You didn’t respond to him, your fingers still tugging at his hair tightly as you tried to bring your breathing back to normal. Jeonghan didn’t really care about that. He slipped his cock out of you and before even a drop of his cum could leave he was pushing two of his fingers back into you.

“Such a sloppy little pussy,” Jeonghan mumbled against your lips and you could feel the smile. “Does it feel good?”

You had to be honest, and you breathed a yes, your body buzzing as he you felt his cum slowly being pushed deep into you, then threatening to drip out before being pushed right back into you.

“Jeong-“ You were going to come again, and you knew that Jeonghan could feel it because his thumb pressed to your clit again making you cry out in pleasure.

“Your really going to come from me fucking my cum into you?” He teased, and that was all he had to say before you were coming again. Sobbing against his lips.

“C-Can’t do more,” you begged breathily, and as you spoke Jeonghan was slipping his cock back into you. Once he was fully inside of you however he stopped completely, his head dipping down into your neck. He fell quiet, his chest rising and falling gently against you.

You were afraid to talk because the feeling in your heart was a lot heavier than it should be for someone that you had just started dating. You bit down on your lip on your lip to keep yourself from speaking.

“Y/n,” Jeonghan breathed against your neck, sending a chill through your body. “Y/n, I really do love you.”

He took the words that you were afraid to say to him right out of your mouth, and as you fought to figure out what to say back to him because surely such intense feelings from you to him was due to the post-sex haze your phone started to buzz on your counter. Your eyebrows furrowed and despite Jeonghan’s protests, you wrestled your way out of his arms and picked it up.

“Oh, it’s Yeongtae,” you mumbled. You didn’t think twice before sliding the green phone across your screen and putting the phone to your face, and it made Jeonghan groan unabashedly. He wrapped his arms around your body, tugging you into his chest, but you mostly ignored him.

“Hey,” you mumbled into your phone.

“My head hurts.” You pulled your phone away from your ear suddenly. He was so loud. “And I don’t know where I am.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, and you pulled away from Jeonghan a little bit.

“You don’t know where you are?”

“Last night I went home with a girl and we got on a bus? And we were kissing, and then we got off the bus? And now I’m in a neighborhood somewhere?”

You glanced at Jeonghan, putting your hand over the speaker.

“He’s lost,” you mouthed.

“Put it on speaker phone,” he mouthed back. You frowned slightly but did what he wanted to regardless.

“Can you see anything that you recognize?” You asked him.

“Uh…”

“Have you not tried using your gps?” Jeonghan asked. Yeongtae was silent for a second.

“Jeonghan? Y/n, you actually talked to him!” Came Yeongtae’s very loud voice. “He sounds jealous.”

“Do you want our help?” You asked Yeongtae sharply. He was silent for a few moments.

“Can you two come pick me up? I think I was on the bus for like three hours.”

“Three hours?” You blurted, unable to help it. “How drunk did you get?”

“Y/n please,” Yeongtae begged in the phone. “I won’t ask you guys again.”

You sighed, but not because of Yeongtae. You looked over at Jeonghan, not having to say a word for him to understand what you were asking him silently.

“We’ll come get you,” Jeonghan relented rolling his eyes. “And it’s okay if you ask again. What are best friends for?”

You didn’t let Yeongtae think about the slightly sarcastic way that Jeonghan added the best friends part- something that Yeongtae clearly didn’t even remember saying.

“Send me your location okay? We’ll be there soon just sit tight.”

“Okay.” Honestly Yeongtae sounded tiny over the phone. “I’ll see you two soon. Thank you.”

You ended the call between you two and before you could say anything Jeonghan was groaning and he was burying himself into your neck. You sighed, raising your hand to his head.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, honest. “It’s just-”

“It’s okay,” Jeonghan interrupted before you could say more. “I get it. You put up with Chaedom, I can put up with Yeongtae.”

He sighed, and pulled away from you a little bit.

“Besides, you’re mine right? Since we’re together it doesn’t matter if you hang out with Yeongtae or if I hang out with Chaedom.” You knew he was joking but you still sent him a glare. He laughed. “Yeongtae isn’t really that bad,” he admitted. “Weird. But he treats you well.”

Before you could ask Jeonghan if he was okay because oh my god, a nice thing about Yeongtae coming from Jeonghan’s mouth? You genuinely never thought you would see the day- Jeonghan was pulling apart from you.

“Okay, let’s get you in the shower,” he said. Your eyes widened in surprise.

“But Yeongtae-”

“He can wait,” Jeonghan pressed. “We’ve got to get you clean and then we’ll go get him.”

He fixed you with a serious look.

“But now that we’re dating? You have no excuse to avoid after care. After we get Yeongtae home you’re all mine okay? I just want to hold you.”

You pressed your lips together, just to prevent yourself from admitting how badly you wanted that. You just nodded. Jeonghan looked at you, clearly wanting you to say more but he didn’t push it. He sighed and mirrored your nod.

“You’re so good for me,” he mumbled, and the embarrassment caused warmth to crawl up your neck. “Come on.”

Mingyu was a big guy. 

He just was, in the sense that most people looked and would be considered small in comparison to him. He was tall and broad-shouldered with biceps that broadcasted his strength and pecs that, unless he was wearing an actual coat or any sort of puffy, ill-fitting top were impossible to miss. You hadn’t seen his abs, but you would guess that his torso was as fit as the rest of him. 

All of which was to say that it wasn’t news that he was either large or strong. For the most part, though, it had become a sort of…background noise. Like, the sky was blue, fire was hot,  water was wet, and Mingyu was big. When you’d first met, sure, it had maybe made you a little weak-kneed because you felt honest-to-God tiny and delicate next to him. And okay, yeah, he was also obviously a very good-looking man. You had eyes. 

You and he had slipped into a friendship, though, and so the crush (in your own thoughts, you could admit it) sort of faded away in favor of an easy back and forth, playful friendship. Which was probably why you felt so comfortable teasing him after it happened. 

It, in this case, being you catching him flexing and essentially puffing out his chest – preening, really – for the barista at the coffee shop where you were meant to be meeting him. You stayed back for several moments, just watching him show off and grin at the reaction of the poor barista who was visibly flustered, shaking your head and trying not to laugh at his antics. Eventually, though, you a) wanted coffee and b) couldn’t resist the urge to give him a hard time. 

Smiling widely, you walked up behind Mingyu, sliding your arm through his and letting your hand wrap around his bicep, cooing up at him. “You’re so strong, baby.” You ignored the choked noise he made in favor of turning your attention to the barista and lowering your voice as if to commiserate. “Is he giving you a hard time? I’m so sorry. He’s hot and he knows it.”

The barista laughed and assured you that he wasn’t and that it was okay, smiling shyly at you as she gently slid the two drinks across the counter toward you and Mingyu. 

You thanked her and passed Mingyu his before grabbing your own, then finding yourself being dragged away by the arm still – oops! – linked through his. Carefully holding the coffee in your other hand because you did not want to wear it, you pursed your lips and pulled your arm from his as soon as the two of you were outside and there was the space to separate. 

“Gyu, geeze,” you half-grumbled, half-laughed.

“Don’t ‘Gyu, geeze,’ me,” came his response as he moved to stand in front of you and looked down at you, his expression somewhere between amused and confused. “What was that?”

Lips pressed to the lid of your coffee, you hummed as you took a sip and gave him your most innocent, wide-eyed, fluttering lashes look. “Hmm?”

He scoffed, but the twitch of his lips belied his good humor. “Oh, are we doing that now?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure, baby,” he crooned, grinning when your response was to start coughing, glaring up at him, and smacking your own chest. “You okay there?”

You held your hand up in the universal shush symbol until you were able to recover from the whole being-provoked-into-inhaling-your-coffee thing. Once you had control over yourself again, you were able to speak. “Maybe wait until I’m not in the middle of swallowing next time?”

Mingyu smirked. 

It took you a moment but then you rolled your eyes and bit back a smile. “I seriously can’t take you anywhere. Rein it in,” you said, giving his chest a soft push and gesturing behind him with your chin, reminding him that you were meant to be walking. “It’s too early for innuendo and we’re going to be late.”

----------------

A couple of days later, you ran into Mingyu at the gym. 

You must have missed each other when you initially came in and headed straight for the group HIIT class, but the sound of your name being called across the room as you exited the smaller group room into the main area was unmistakable. Your head turned toward the voice and your lips curved into a smile when you recognized him, seeing a matching smile on his face and Seungcheol standing next to him, hand raised in greeting. 

Of course you moved to join them at the weight bench and, as you and Seungcheol settled into a conversation, Mingyu went right back into lifting. Every so often, his grunts would tear your attention away from Seungcheol and you’d find yourself glancing over at him. 

Clearly he had been there a while, given the way his body was basically glistening with sweat, his hair wet and sticking to his temples. Despite yourself, your gaze caught on and watched a drop of sweat sliding down his neck, disappearing into his shirt. Which really just brought to your attention to the fact that the shirt was sleeveless, your eyes focusing on the flex and release of his muscles as he pressed the weights over his head. 

Jesus, he was distracting. 

Seungcheol cleared his throat and you turned back to him, forcing a neutral expression onto your face. “Don’t even say it.”

His lips quirked at the corners and he raised both hands. “I didn’t say anything.”

“Your eyes say so much that the words aren’t even necessary.” 

“I can’t control my eyes. You should be able to empathize with that, shouldn’t you?” There was just enough emphasis in his words and just enough knowing in his gaze to make you shift from foot to foot. 

“I –”

“What are you guys even talking about?” Mingyu asked, placing the bar on the rests and turning on the bench to face you and Seungcheol, his brows pulled together. 

“She was just –” 

“We were just talking about how big your arms are,” you cut Seungcheol off, moving to stand in front of Mingyu and widening your eyes exaggeratedly. When in doubt, apparently your new MO was to go for over-the-top and excessive – so much so that there was no way he or anyone else could take it seriously. You purposefully let your gaze sweep over the length of his biceps and forearms, then drifted to his chest. “And your pecs. God, Gyu.” 

Seungcheol snorted – he actually snorted – behind you. 

Mingyu, though, looked back and forth between you and Seungcheol, like he wasn’t sure whether to be flattered or to be suspicious. “T-Thanks. I, uh, I work hard,” he said, running a hand through his hair, and he might actually have been blushing. 

Which was the most adorable thing you’d ever seen, honestly.

You grinned and reached forward to squeeze his shoulder. “I can tell, baby,” you cooed down at him. “I bet you could even bench press me.” You continued the tease, then let go and stepped back. If you felt butterflies in your belly at the sight of Mingyu’s mouth dropping open and the heat that flashed in his eyes in response or the brief mental image you got of him doing exactly that… you would take that with you to the grave. 

Giving yourself a mental shake, you glanced over at Seungcheol then back at Mingyu. “Well! I’ve gotta run, but I’ll see you two around, okay?”

“Wait –” Mingyu started, rising from the bench and taking a step toward you. 

Seungcheol just looked amused and you fucking knew he was going to call you later with questions. “See you.”

“Bye!” You called out, already walking toward the exit. You had to get out of there before you thought too long or hard about why Mingyu’s response to the teasing affected you the way it did.

----------------

The expected phone call with Seungcheol went something like this:

“So, you’ve got a thing for Mingyu, huh?”

“I absolutely do not have a - a thing for Mingyu.” 

Seungcheol chuckled and you could practically hear his smirk across the line. “You wanna try that again, maybe without the stuttering? I might actually believe you then.”

You flushed and gritted your teeth, grateful he couldn’t see the pink in your cheeks. “I do not have a thing for Mingyu. I have a thing for fucking with Mingyu.”

“Eye-fucking him, maybe,” Seungcheol countered, voice filled with mirth, absolutely at your expense. 

“Okay, first of all, I am a woman who is attracted to men and I have eyes. If you were the one in the sleeveless top, sweating and grunting in exertion, lifting God only knows how many pounds, I would’ve been looking at you, too,” you argued, definitely not defensive. Nope. 

Not at all. 

“You’ve seen me doing exactly that many, many times, and I don’t recall you ever looking at me like you wanted to –”

“Stop! Right there,” you protested in a rush. “Mingyu and I are friends.”

His sigh was loud and his tone was clearly exasperated when he replied. “If you say so.”

“I do say so.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. Fine. Glad we sorted that out.”

----------------

The next time you saw Mingyu was at a picnic for your whole friend group. You knew he was already there when you pulled into the parking lot, so you texted him for help bringing the drinks and food you’d brought from your car to the spot everyone had set up at. 

You were leaning into your open trunk, switching things from bag to bag in order to consolidate and make for the fewest trips, when he came up behind you and grabbed your hips, leaning over you and resting his chin on your shoulder. “Whatcha doing?”

Nearly jumping – and you would have if his body wasn’t basically covering yours and his hands weren’t holding your body in place – you let out a startled gasp, heart hammering in your chest before you realized it was him. “What –”

“Easy there,” you heard him say softly into your ear before the hands on your hips squeezed gently, “It’s just me.”  Mingyu then released you and drew back, coming to rest on the bumper of your car, looking wholly pleased with himself. 

“Mingyu, I swear to God – Just for that, you get to carry the heavy stuff!” You gave yourself several moments for your heart to stop racing and for the blood to stop rushing through your head, body still trying to work its way past the initial startle. Deliberately not allowing yourself to think about anything else – namely, the way your body had reacted to that squeeze of your hips with him pressed up behind you. 

That was just biology, anyway. 

Or something like that. 

Mingyu laughed and his smile widened. “Worth it.” 

You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at him, trying not to let your lips twich and betray your own enjoyment. His good humor was contagious, but there was a point to be made here!

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry!” As he stood back up, he held his hands out. “Load me up.”

Your smile was wicked when you hefted the cooler full of beverages into his arms, then plopped several bags down on top of it. “That’s not too much for you, is it?” you asked as sweetly as could be. “Not too heavy?” You grabbed the one remaining bag, that one carrying bags of chips and clearly the lightest of the bunch, and pulled the trunk closed. 

He shook his head and lifted the cooler higher, not looking like he was exerting himself too much, but you did feel a little bad. 

“Are you sure? Because I was just messing with you and I really can –”

“No,” he said with another shake of his head and turning away when you reached out to grab for one or more of the bags. “I’ve got it, I promise. You brought it here, the least I can do is carry it.”

And he really did. 

When you got to the area where everyone else was and Mingyu placed the cooler on the ground, you came up behind him, rested your palm against his shoulder blade, and couldn’t help yourself. You said, “Thank you, baby. I don’t know how I would’ve carried all of that without you. You’re just so much stronger than me,” then dropped the bag of chips onto the picnic table and walked over to greet the others, leaving him to stare after you and not looking back to see the mix of emotions play across his face.

----------------

After that, it just became a habit for you to point out how big he was, how strong whenever the opportunity presented itself, sometimes on purpose and sometimes just because – now that you had started actively noticing again, you noticed. 

Like the time a couple of the guys and you, including Mingyu, had got caught in the rain after lunch at a restaurant near your place. Since your apartment was closer and nobody had any pressing plans, you decided to just run there and hide out until the rain let up. You changed into a set of dry clothes and handed the guys dry shirts – you couldn’t do much about their pants, but you definitely had some oversized shirts lying around. In your defense, it wasn’t as though you intentionally gave him a shirt that his torso stretched so much that it was a miracle it didn’t tear. It was just the biggest shirt you had and, breasts or not, they were no match for his broad shoulders. 

“Oh,” you’d said a little breathlessly as you watched him try to squeeze into it and fought to pull it down to cover his upper body. “I, uh, fuck. You’re big.” The damned shirt left his belly bared and lord have mercy, but you couldn’t look away from his abs. They really were as fit as the rest of him. 

You watched as a shiver seemed to run through him and heard his breathing pick up pace, which was enough to shake you out of your stupor and into action. “Shit, you’re still cold, right? Hold on. I think I ended up with one of my ex’s hoodies after the break-up!” 

You’d managed to grab said hoodie from your closet and toss it at him before escaping into the living room where the rest of the guys were watching some action movie. 

A mischievous voice in the back of your head was the reason for the lion’s share of the instances, though. 

Including the time you decided you wanted to rearrange your living room on a random Saturday morning. The two of you were standing in your living room and you purposefully bit at your lower lip, giving him your best doe eyes and asked him so nicely, “Gyu? Can you help me move my couch? It’s just so heavy and it’s way too big for me to move, but I know how strong you are and I just – can you?”

He had squeezed his eyes shut and you watched the rise and fall of his shoulders as he appeared to take a very deep breath before opening his eyes and smiling kindly over at you. “Sure! Where do you want it?”

Oof. There was a question your brain chose to interpret in the absolutely wrong way. Were you teasing him with this or were you torturing yourself? Probably both, but fuck if you could stop. 

“Uh, over – over there, please.”

“There?” he asked, gesturing, and you nodded. He took a step toward the couch, looking back at you over his shoulder and you could have sworn his gaze flickered down to your lips. “Okay, baby. If that’s where you want it, that’s where you’ll get it.”

You really hoped he didn't see – or hear – your reaction to the endearment or the ease with which he moved the heavy couch across the floor. The way your breath hitched in your throat or the way you chewed at your lower lip, traitorous body clenching around nothing. And you couldn’t exactly complain because a) you’d started it, b) you actually really didn’t want him to stop. 

Which was absolutely something you needed to unpack later. 

Time to brazen it out again, apparently. You walked up to Mingyu and hugged him from the back as he settled the couch into its new location. “Thank you,” you said breezily, forced though the nonchalance may be. “You’re my own, personal Superman.”

The doorbell signaled the arrival of your other friends, pulling your attention (and arms) from Mingyu as you went to answer the door. 

Some small part of you was aware you may be playing with fire, but the larger part of you almost wanted to get burned. 

Not that you would, of course. Because you two really were just friends.

You were. 

And so it continued. 

You needed something from a tall shelf? You asked him to get it for you and gushed over him when he handed it to you. 

You were playing a game of soccer in the park and he kicked the ball completely normally hard? You laid the praise on thick for the power in his legs. 

It didn’t matter how innocuous whatever the action was or the looks everyone else gave the both of you. You, for the clearly over-the-top emphasis on Mingyu’s size and strength. Mingyu for the way he would either blush or lean into it, asking if you needed anything else – anything at all – kicking the ball harder the next time, grabbing more bags on his next trip, adding more weight to his sets. 

You just kept poking and he kept rolling with it, the two of you falling into a new sort of routine.

The most recent instance of which being when your heel broke as Mingyu was walking you home. He’d met you for a quick coffee and snack on your way home from work. You certainly didn’t plan for the heel on your shoe to break six blocks from your apartment, or for Mingyu to sweep you up in his arms, one tucked beneath your knees and the other resting against your back. 

In all honesty, the universe should get some credit for that one. 

His name came out on a shriek as you found yourself airborne, your arms instinctively wrapping around his shoulders to prevent yourself from falling on your ass. “Mingyu!” You looked at him then down at the ground. If he dropped you from this height, it would definitely hurt. Tightening your hold around his broad shoulders, you lifted your gaze from the cement passing beneath you to his gaze.

“So this is what the world looks like from up here,” you said with a puff of laughter, a smile curving your lips as you watched him try to bite back his own smile. “I can walk, though, you know? It’s not the first time I’ve done the broken-heel hobble.” 

“I know you can, but you’re not going to.” He shook his head as you opened your mouth to protest. “You don’t have to. I’m here. Let me help you, yeah?”

You sucked your lower lip into your mouth, the action unconscious, but the playfulness in your voice was not. “You just wanna show off.”

His grin was instant and more than a little mischievous. “What am I showing off?”

Pfft. Now he was just fishing for compliments. But it was part of your game so you were, er, game. 

You loosened your death grip around his shoulders just enough that you could brush a hand across the width of his back and give one of said shoulders a squeeze. “These. The strength in them. How it doesn’t even phase you to pick me up and bridal carry me half a mile because you’re my big, strong hero.”

Mingyu’s hold on you tightened and his focus definitely dropped to your lips before he quickly turned his head forward to watch where he was going. “So you’re saying I have a hero complex?”

“Hah,” you playfully scoffed. “That and you have a strength kink so you just love it when people notice.”

Mingyu stopped in his tracks, turning his head and giving you an incredulous look. “I have a strength kink? Sweetheart,” he crooned, “I think maybe you need to look in the mirror before you start casting stones.” He called you ‘sweetheart’ and he fucking crooned, at which you felt the pink spreading across your cheeks and a wave of heat rush through you. 

You cleared your throat. “Maybe I do,” you said, injecting the words with as much casualness as you could. “And maybe I don’t. Maybe I just like the way you react when I point it out.”

The fingers curled around your knee squeezed, and you felt his very real strength in a different way. When his eyes darkened right then and there, your mouth went dry. 

“You’re late,” came a wry voice from somewhere behind you, breaking the impromptu staring contest you and Mingyu had entered into. When you looked over your shoulder and saw Seungcheol standing at the main door to your building, your eyes widened. 

“Cheol! I’m so sorry. My shoe broke on the way back and it took us a little longer,” you explained, smiling sheepishly. “Forgive me?”

“I can see that,” he replied, voice full of humor as he looked from you to Mingyu, “and of course I’ll forgive you. I’ve got her from here, man. You can head out.”

“No.”

“What?” you and Seungcheol asked in unison. Seungcheol had a brow arched at your other friend and you were looking at Mingyu like he’d grown another head. 

Mingyu didn’t look away from the other man when he elaborated. “I’ve carried her this far; I can carry her the rest of the way. Can you get the door?” he asked Seungcheol.

Seungcheol gave a shrug and did just that, catching your eye as Mingyu carried you past him through the doorway, the gleam in his eyes giving away his curiosity and ongoing amusement. He definitely wasn’t going to let you off the hook on this one.

When you got to your apartment, Seungcheol entered first and made his way directly to the couch in the living room, leaving you and Mingyu in the entryway. You tapped Mingyu’s shoulder and tried to extract yourself from his hold. “Okay, Hercules,” you teased. “You can put me down now. The damsel has safely made it all the way home.”

Not letting you down immediately, he instead shifted you in his arms so that you were sliding down the front of his body, toes just brushing the floor beneath you but not lowering you fully to your feet. You looked up at him curiously, trying to stretch your legs enough so you could actually stand, but were unsuccessful. “Mingyu?” 

He had a hand on your hip and the other arm was wrapped around the middle of your back, holding you pressed against him, when his gaze found yours, expression unreadable. “Why’s Cheol here?”

What?

“We’re studying. Well, he is. He has a paper and I promised him I would help with editing it,” you answered, surprising yourself with how soft and almost breathless your voice was. But God, it was one thing to see him in those tank tops and sleeveless tops or shirts that fit just right, and it was something else entirely to feel every one of those muscles against the entire length of your body. While he just held you there, not appearing to be exerting himself much if at all. Despite yourself, your arms slid back around his shoulders and you found yourself clutching at the back collar of his shirt. 

Mingyu’s lips curved into a smile and his expression shifted into something you could read: pleased. “Is that all?” 

“‘Is that all?’ Um, of course it is? What else would it be, you weirdo?” His question was enough to shake you out of your – very brief, thank you – moment of distraction caused by his ridiculous upper body and how damned tall he was that he could hold you there, still towering over you while your feet didn’t reach the floor. “Seriously, I’m home and I can stand. Let me down so I can go help Cheol and we can maybe finish in time for me to get some sleep tonight.”

“If you have to ask, then I’m not worried.” You felt your feet touch the ground and Mingyu’s hold release so that you were bearing your own weight again. If anything, he looked even more pleased with himself as he slid his arms from around you, but didn’t move away. 

Worried? You were going to ask him what that was supposed to mean but Seungcheol chose that moment to shout from the other room, “Are you two done flirting yet?”

You were going to kill him. 

“We’re not flirting, you brat!” You shouted back, pinching the bridge of your nose, hoping it was dark enough in the entryway that Mingyu somehow miraculously didn’t see the blush that crept over your face. Which was also really annoying because why the fuck were you even blushing? 

Mingyu grinned at you then leaned down to press a quick kiss to your forehead. “Aren’t we?” he asked, earning a wide-eyed look from you, before turning to leave. 

He left and you stood there for several moments trying to process those two words. Were you flirting? 

As expected, Seungcheol had his laptop open when you walked into the living room, but he wasn’t looking at it. Instead, he was smirking knowingly over at you, and you had to fight the urge to squirm under that gaze. 

Deciding that discretion really was the better part of valor and, maybe if you ignored him, he would let it go, you grabbed his computer and pulled it into your lap, eyes scanning the document. You lasted for all of thirty seconds before you broke. 

“Okay, what?” you asked, finally turning your head to look at him and finding him staring at you. 

“Are we not talking about that territorial display downstairs?”

“Terri– What territorial display?”

He laughed. “Please tell me you’re not that oblivious and are just faking it because you’re trying to get me to shut up.”

Given that you were still trying to process whether or not you and Mingyu had been flirting, you were so not ready to consider whether he had been acting territorial and definitely not to talk about it with someone else, not even Seungcheol. Maybe especially Seungcheol, given the two men were close. 

“Why ask a question when you already know the answer? Just go get me some water, please. And maybe some ibuprofen. I can feel the migraine coming on.”

----------------

Two days later, you had been able to do enough self-reflection to admit that okay, yes. You might have been flirting with Mingyu and maybe you sort of weren’t quite as over that crush as you previously believed. Or maybe you had been, but if that were true at some point, it probably wasn’t anymore. Some part of you got a thrill out of calling Mingyu, “baby,” and putting your hands on him. 

On the way he had blushed sometimes at first but how, more and more recently, he would touch you back and call you, “baby.” How he didn’t even hesitate to just pick you up and carry you across town for anyone to see. 

And fine, all right, it was possible that you’d woken up this morning from a dream about him whispering the endearment into your ear while he thrust himself into you, while your nails raked down his back and you panted his name, begging him not to stop. 

Fine. 

That didn’t mean you had to act on it, though, because This, too, shall pass and all that. You could flirt with your friend without it meaning anything.

As soon as you walked into the house party and your eyes spotted Mingyu laughing down at something some random woman you’d never seen before was saying, and the way she swatted at his bicep, though, you knew you were well and truly fucked. Neither of them were doing anything even remotely wrong and yet the hurt, the anger, the goddamn jealousy you felt burned through you and were mortifying. You were not going to claw some innocent woman’s eyes out for being rightfully attracted to Mingyu, who was your friend.

Just your friend.

Forcing yourself to tear your gaze away from the two unsuspecting victims of your eye daggers, you made a beeline for the kitchen and thus the alcohol. Wholly focused on not focusing on Mingyu, you missed the way his gaze followed you, brows drawn together.

Nor did you see his sharp eyes catch sight of Seungcheol entering after you, or the way those eyes narrowed in response. 

Instead, you grabbed a beer from the fridge and struggled to twist the cap off when your friend found you. Seungcheol rested his back against the counter next to you and watched you fight to twist the top off of a not a twist-off bottle, lips twitching. “Rough day, cupcake?”

“You,” you said in a voice that was half frustrated whine and half accusatory. 

“What about me?”

“You did this!” You grunted, pouting at the bottle in your hand and trying even harder to twist the damned lid off, glaring at the bottle when it didn’t budge. “I was totally fine – happy, even – living in, I don’t know, denial? Ignorant bliss?”

Seungcheol’s gaze drifted behind you, toward the entrance to the kitchen, and he looked like he was going to speak, but you cut him off. “But no, you just had to bring up me having a thing for Mingyu and flirting and ‘territorial displays’ and oh my God, Cheol! I have a thing for Mingyu. I so have a thing for Mingyu. And he’s out there – I mean, of course he’s out there flirting with a woman, okay, because we’re just friends, but fuck my fucking life.” 

Taking in a deep breath because, after that ramble, you needed it, you finally turned your attention away from the still-unopened beer and back to him. You took in the arched eyebrow and the quirk of his lips, and the way his focus was still behind you and over your head. 

“What are you even looking a–” you started, turning your head to figure out what was so captivating, and nearly dropped the bottle in your hand when you saw Mingyu standing not three feet away. “Oh hell.”

“I’ll take that as my cue.” Seungcheol gave your shoulder a pat as he walked by you, sharing a look with Mingyu that you couldn’t see – only the nod Mingyu gave before returning his full focus to you. 

Once Seungcheol was gone, you gave Mingyu your best impression of a definitely-not-embarrassed smile and forced out a cheery, “Hi!”

“Hi,” he said back, closing the distance between you two, hand reaching out to grab your hip gently to stop you when you started to take a step backwards. 

“How – uh, how much of that did you hear, exactly?” 

Mingyu’s lips curled into a smile and the hand on your hip squeezed, his thumb then brushing against your hip bone and causing you a shiver to make its way down your traitorous spine. “I walked up somewhere around ‘territorial displays.’ Which is kind of ironic, actually, because I was on my way in here to put on another one. Still might.” 

You groaned. “Oh God. You heard it all then.” The rest of his words registered and you let out a soft, confused laugh. “Wait, what? For whom, exactly?” You looked around the kitchen, mostly empty at the moment, save the two of you and a couple kissing in the opposite corner, clearly wrapped up in themselves. 

“You mean when I walked in or now?” Mingyu drew you closer to him, his other hand coming up to brush your hair back, his voice a quiet rumble. “I know you guys are friends, too, but every time I turn around, you and Cheol are together.” 

As he entered your space, your hands moved to rest against his chest and you swallowed hard. At the strength beneath your touch – not teasing now – and his closeness. The way he blocked everything from your view except him because he was so goddamn big. 

Which was how this whole thing started.

“I’ve been trying to tell myself that he’s not the one you can’t seem to stop touching,” Mingyu admitted, gaze dropping down to watch your hands, unconsciously stroking over his chest, sliding down his torso and causing his abdominal muscles to flex beneath your touch. Then he looked back up at you. “The one you keep calling, ‘baby.’”

Christ, you could feel the burn in your cheeks and you weren’t sure how much of that was from embarrassment at being called out or how much it was a result of feeling him flex under your fingertips and look down at you with a burning intensity in his eyes. You bit back a gasp when he dropped his head toward yours and you felt his breath against your face. 

“He’s not. I only do that with you, Gyu. You know that, don’t you?” 

He hummed, the hand at your face shifting to cradle the back of your head and tilt it further back. He leaned in closer and let his lips hover over yours. “I do now,” he spoke softly, closing the distance between your lips and brushing his against yours. “And I wasn’t flirting with her, just so that’s clear. Only wanna flirt with you.”

You sucked in a sharp breath then, your hands clutching at his hips. Unable to stop yourself, you rose up on your toes and pressed your lips into his in a soft kiss. 

Mingyu’s fingers tightened in your hair and he deepened that kiss, his tongue sweeping out to taste your lips, teeth capturing and gently nipping at your lower lip, tearing a soft whimper from you, which pulled a groan from him and had both of his hands slipping down to your waist, sliding down and around to cup your ass, dragging your hips into his. 

Lifting your arms up, you wound them around his shoulders and pressed closer, a thrill shooting through you, centering in your core, at the drop in pitch of his voice when his hands moved from your ass to the back of your thighs and he lifted you up his body, your legs automatically encircling his waist. “You want that? Want to be the only one I flirt with?”

You nodded, letting your forehead rest against his and trying your best to focus on answering him rather than rubbing yourself against him like a damned cat. “Mhm. Unless you want me to go flirt with someone else? I guess I could see what Cheol’s up to….” You wouldn’t, but the urge to push Mingyu’s buttons clearly hadn’t gone away.

His voice was a growl when he spoke and he brought a hand up to fist in your hair, grip tight enough for you to really feel the pull. Which you did. In a straight line from his hold to your cunt, which clenched in response, liquid desire starting to pool. “Not gonna fucking happen, baby.”

Your thighs squeezed his sides at that, and you let out an embarrassingly needy sound. God, why was it so hot to rile him up and hear him say shit like that? “No? Why – Why’s that, baby?”

The smile he gave you then was cocky, his dark eyes smoldering, knowing. “Guess you want that territorial display, huh? I’ve got you, sweetheart, and I’ll put on a little show just for you,” he promised. 

Did you want that?

Mingyu carried you out of the kitchen, just like that – legs and arms wrapped around him, very clearly staking his claim in front of anyone and everyone who happened to notice him walking you to his bedroom and shutting the door behind the two of you. Your gaze flickered behind him along the way, catching sight of the amusement on some friends’ faces, surprise on others’, and – you narrowed your eyes as you watched Hoshi pass cash to Jeonghan. You were totally going to kick both of their asses later.

You found yourself pressed up against the door as Mingyu closed it behind you, his big, broad form flush to you and holding you there. His hips giving a thrust into you and the friction where you’d needed it pulling a whimper from between your lips. You cursed, squirming against him, legs around him dragging him even closer, moaning his name at the hard length he rolled against your clothed cunt. “S-Shit, you’re big everywhere.” 

He let out a breathy laugh then and your insides went a bit melty at the slight flush you saw spread across his cheeks. “I could make a Red Riding Hood comment here, but I’m trying really hard not to.”

“...the better to fuck me with?” 

Mingyu’s eyes squeezed shut and his hips bucked into you before he turned you from the door and carried you over to his desk, dropping you down onto it and stepping back between your legs. His hands landed on your knees, slowly sliding up your thighs. “You gonna let me?” he asked, his voice thick with need, as he reached the apex of your thighs and he slipped a hand between them, fingers pressing along the seam of your jeans, mouth dropping open at the heat and the moisture he felt there. 

“God,” you gasped, jerking into his touch, your own hands coming to rest on his biceps and squeeze. “If you don’t, I’m gonna need the room, I –” you moaned when his fingers managed to roll the thick fabric against your clit, when his breath hitched and he groaned your name. 

“If I don’t fuck you, you’re gonna fuck yourself on my bed?”

Your nails dug into the backs of his biceps and you felt another wave of arousal drip out of you, soaking the denim beneath his fingertips. You nodded. “Make it nice and messy, too. So you can’t lie down there without thinking about me with my f-fingers inside myself. Without wishing it had been you inside me instead.”

The hand not between your thighs grabbed the nape of your neck, tilting your head back, and Mingyu stared down at you with naked hunger. “Who says I don’t already think about that when I’m lying there, hm?”

“You – fuck, please.” You let your head fall further back, but your hands moved to the hem of his shirt, pushing it up, palms pressed against the bare skin of his abdomen. Fingers tracing the lines of muscle there, following them up his torso. 

Mingyu drew back to pull his shirt up and over his head, tossing it behind him before he was back in your space, helping you get your own shirt off before returning to your space and covering your lips with his, his tongue sweeping between your lips and tangling with yours. Captured your little gasps and whimpers into his mouth as he unfastened your jeans and dragged them down over your ass, turning his attention to placing kisses and licks against your neck, voice a low rumble when you lifted your hips for him. “Mm, such a good girl for me. So helpful.”

You braced your weight with your hands, pressed flat to the desk on either side of your hips, nodding. “I can be a really good girl.” As if to demonstrate your point, you gladly kicked the denim away once it reached your ankles. “Especially if I’m properly motiva–” you broke off with a yelp when Mingyu fell to his knees in front of you and pulled your hips forward, lifted your knees onto his shoulders, and started nipping and kissing his way up your inner thigh. 

“What was that?” he crooned, lips curved into a smirk that said he knew exactly what he was doing to you and loved the effect he had on you already. 

“Properly motivated! I do well with – with that, Gyu…” 

His fingers pressed into the seat of your panties, groaning at how wet they were. He hooked those same fingers beneath the fabric of your panties, drawing it to the side and baring you to his gaze. “So fucking pretty, baby. Already so needy for me, I probably don’t even need to use my tongue on you, do I?”

He really didn’t, but fuck, you wanted him to. Your whine and the way you bucked your hips were all the response he needed, and he gave a soft chuckle, breath warm against your cunt and nearly a caress in and of itself. 

You lifted your hips for him again as he drew your panties down and off, and at the first swipe of his tongue along your slit, your elbows nearly buckled. When he flicked it against your clit, then wrapped his lips around it and sucked, the sharp stab of pleasure was so acute that you had to drop back down onto your forearms. Just the fucking sight of him with his head between your thighs – his contented hums that sent vibrations through through your sensitive bud, that had you dripping with need. He slipped two fingers into you and started pumping them, curling them, searching, searching until – 

“Mm, there it is,” he moaned, focusing the thrusts of his fingers there, nipping at your swollen folds, sucking them into his mouth, then his tongue was circling and swirling around your clit again and it wasn’t long until you were falling apart, falling back onto the desk and shaking, waves of release rolling over and through you.

Mingyu worked you through the orgasm, gentle kisses and kitten licks against your inner thigh, slowing the movement of his fingers until your hand covered his, pulling it from you and lacing your fingers together. 

You managed to lift your head enough to meet his gaze, letting yourself be pulled upright and into his arms. You let out a happy hum and dropped your forehead onto his shoulder before the temptation of his skin was too much, and you started to press kisses there. Traced a line with your lips up his neck, pausing just beneath his jaw to catch the skin between your teeth, sucking at the sensitive skin and earning a gasp from Mingyu. 

He wrapped his arms around you and lifted you into them, smiling down at you when your legs immediately wrapped around his waist. It was instinctual, as was the way your arms moved to hold him and the way you couldn’t. stop. covering his neck with marks. Completely enraptured with the way they looked on him. 

Mingyu carried you to his bed and laid you down on the soft surface, covering your body with his and settling between your thighs. “I’m going to get so much shit for those, you realize?” 

“Oh? My bad. Should I apologize?”

“Fuck, no. It’s worth it,” he said with one of those oh-so-self-satisfied smiles. Propping himself up on one hand, he traced his fingertips along your own neck, across your chest, slipping them just under the edge of your bra. “And this way I don’t have to apologize when I cover all of this pretty skin with my own marks.”

You bit back a whimper, breath hitching in your chest. “Yeah?”

He hummed an affirmation, cupping your breast in a hand, and you watched the sharp rise and fall of his chest as he gave it a gentle squeeze. Were enraptured when he tugged the fabric covering your breast to the side and groaned, tongue coming out to wet his lower lip while his thumb circled your areola. Round and round until finally he brought it to your nipple, rubbing against it, forefinger coming to join and softly pinch the swollen flesh. 

His hips were thrusting against your cunt, slow rolls that were nowhere near enough for either of you but were just enough to stoke the fire within you. You could feel the way your arousal was coating the fabric of his pants, soaking through it, as you pressed yourself up into the thrusts, in silent entreaty. 

“Fuck,” he rasped, lips replacing his thumb, tongue and teeth and those lips teasing your nipple while he ground down into you. 

Your hands cradled the back of his head, fingers tangling in his hair, and you let out a breathy whine. “Want,” you started, legs locking behind his back and pulling him into you, moaning at the slow slide of his cock against your pussy, hissing when he circled his hips into yours. 

“What do you want, love?” Mingyu moved his lips from your breast to brush against yours, and he spoke against your lips while he stared down at you with eyes so full of heat you felt flames lick along your spine, centering in your sex. “Tell me what you need and I’ll give it to you.”

“You,” you answered simply. Your hands came to the waistband of his pants, slid beneath it so that you could wrap your fingers around him, stroke up and down along the length and let your thumb rub across the head. Gasping at the liquid you found there, at the precome that had slipped down the underside, easing your movements. “Think you need me, too, baby. Wanna feel you inside me so bad. Need to.”

Mingyu cursed and then he had his pants and underwear shoved down, kicked off toward the end of the bed. He held himself over you, weight borne on a forearm while his other held the base of his cock, guiding it through your desire-slicked flesh. Rubbed the tip against your clit. Teased at your entrance. “You want this?”

“Fuck, yes, God, Gyu, please.” You whimpered, whined, shifted your body beneath him. Your hands found his hips and you tried to tug him to you.

He captured your wrists and gathered them both above your head, holding them there, and you would complain – you really would – except there was that strength again. You looked up at him, your pupils blown wide, cheeks flushed, and every bit of your expression spoke to how much you actually liked that. How much you wanted him. 

The flash in his own eyes told you he noticed. You heard him curse and watched him swallow hard, felt his grip on your wrists tighten. “You like being helpless beneath me, fuck. Gonna remember that,” he promised. “Do we need a condom?” His voice was tight and he looked tense enough above you that you don’t know how he held it together. 

“N-No. I’m – I’m good. Implant. Clean. You?” It wasn’t the most eloquent sentence, but it got the point across and, in the next moment, Mingyu was pushing into you. 

“Clean, too, shit, sweetheart. Feel so fucking good,” he groaned as his pelvis met yours, cock in you to the base, filling you so full. He drew his hips back and then slowly pumped them forward again, giving you time to get used to the feel of him, cunt stretching around him and your body learning his in the most intimate of ways. 

“Oh fuck, you can – you can move faster, Gyu. Harder. Need you to. Need you to – to show me how strong you are,” you admitted, burying your face in the crook of his neck and whimpering when he did. 

Mingyu sat back on his heels, hands coming to your thighs and dragging your body into his next thrust, this one a sharp snap of his hips into you that made your eyes roll back. “Fucking love how strong I am, don’t you? Always teasing me about being so big –” he emphasized with another deep, hard thrust, and another as he continued, “so strong.” 

Guilty as charged. 

“Like it doesn’t get you off, too,” you said on a gasp, arching beneath him, heated gaze taking in every detail: the movement of his hips, the tension in his abdominals with each thrust, his thick biceps flexing, the muscles in his forearms and the strength in his hands where they gripped your thighs, sure to leave marks there tomorrow. His face. God, his face. The way his brows drew together in concentration, how his gaze – still hot enough to burn and completely focused, wholly attentive to you and this and getting you both off – kept flickering between where his cock was disappearing into your cunt and your face, the way he clenched his jaw and growled out your name. 

Shifting his hold on your legs, Mingyu leaned forward, a hand coming to fist in your hair and drawing your face to his, taking your lips, your mouth in a kiss as wet and deep and harsh as the movements of his every thrust. You felt his fingers on your clit, circling and rubbing fast around the sensitive bud, making you cry out, and your breath hitch, and you fuck, you were a heartbeat away from coming again. 

Heard him rasp against your lips, “Gonna come for me, love?”

You nodded, and your voice was shaky, breathless. “Uh– Uh huh.”

“That’s my girl. Let me feel it,” he hissed, groaning, starting to lose his rhythm and you knew he was close, too. “Gonna come, too. Gonna fill you all the way up, huh?”

You whined out his name, and yes and please, Gyu, please, baby and wanna be full of you. It was enough. It was too much. It was everything. Your orgasm slammed into you, rolling through you like a wave, leaving you clinging to him and shuddering in his arms, pussy squeezing his dick, dragging him into bliss with you.

His face pressed against yours, cheek to cheek, you heard him moaning your name as he came. You felt the shuddering of his own body, above you, around you, inside you, as he spilled himself into you.

Felt yourself being rolled over and onto his chest. Felt his heart pounding under your cheek as you sucked in sharp breaths, little aftershocks of pleasure working their way through you. 

You pressed soft kisses to his chest then turned your face into the touch of his hand, let his palm cup your cheek and tilt your face to look up at him. The broad, happy, sated smile you saw there and the warm affection in his gaze brought a grin to your own face. 

“I realized I never said earlier,” Mingyu started, gently guiding you up his body so you were eye level. “In case it’s not glaringly obvious, I have a thing for you, too.”

A soft, happy puff of laughter left you then and you leaned down to kiss him. Tenderly. You brought a hand up to cup his jaw and couldn’t bite back a smile when he turned his head to press a kiss to your palm. “I may have had some suspicion for a second there, but it’s good to have the confirmation.”

It was Mingyu’s turn to laugh then and he shook his head, arms coming around you, holding you close. “Do you have plans tomorrow?”

“Oooh, what time?”

“I was actually thinking like, all day.”

“What?”

“Breakfast, lunch, movie, dinner? I figure I have a lot of dates to make up,” he said and his smile took your breath away.

It perturbed you how much your body yearned to be near Jake Sim.

Seemingly, Jake shared the same sentiment, despite having vied for your attention one day and then ignored you entirely the next, right after you rejected his kiss during your last encounter. It must've been the tipping point after you cruelly renounced your heated first kiss with him, chalking it up to anything but feelings despite you initiating it. 

However, you were nearly beginning to wonder if you called it too soon; his feelings for you, that is. Not to say that you were in love with him; you knew better than that. But after much thought and a healthy amount of denial on your end, you were beginning to realize Jake had fallen for you in a twisted sense.

It was a challenging notion to wrap your head around. If he had, at what point had Jake fallen and why?

After all, that wasn't what Jake was about.

Your rejection of his romantic advances drew such a strong reaction from him, though, like the man wasn't sure what to do with himself. As if it was his first time dealing with such feelings, but he had to have gotten his heart broken at least once, right?

Although, it really seemed like Jake was infatuated rather than in love– because you were the sole one he'd yet to get his hands on from the start.

So, the dissonance in his behavior made sense after what had transpired between you two in that short time frame. Callousness was a reaction you hadn't anticipated coming from Jake– and you would never admit out loud that it hurt.

The ghost of Jake's touches lingered on every inch of your skin and had you rutting into your pillow late at night when the vivid memories of him persisted. A consequence of your carelessness, even though you knew what you were getting yourself into. 

Jake had shown you facets of himself you hadn't even known existed beyond his mischievous persona and capricious way of living. He'd push your boundaries in ways that irked you but also expanded your little world. It was such an intriguing dynamic, one you could imagine yourself exploring further with him… perhaps without strings attached.

You never thought you'd come to consider such a thing, especially after how cold you've been with Jake and how precious things like first kisses once were to you. 

Although Jake never verbally expressed it, he clearly thought otherwise and seemed to want you romantically. He was growing attached to you in ways he hadn't shown to have been in the past.

One kiss– and suddenly yours and his intentions swapped. How was that even remotely possible for him, let alone for you?

Two weeks had gone by begrudgingly slowly and each day was like a hellish repeat of the day prior, consisting of an unbearable tension you hadn't known was possible to exist between two people.

Jake would either rise earlier in the day or stay in later than you just to avoid contact. If either of you did happen to pass by each other in the common areas of the flat, no words were exchanged, and god forbid you made eye contact.

It was a good thing life had many distractions. 

Being a working member of society meant that you were more than eager to get out of the four walls of your bedroom after being at your desk all week. Saturday evening arrived like the answer to your prayers, and since you didn't go out much, you intended to have as much fun as you could within your means.

A notification sounded from your phone, informing you that the Uber you were currently in was approaching one of your favorite speakeasies. The sound pulled you out of your thoughts, the blur of buildings starting to look familiar. 

By recent habit, you tapped on your photo album to indulge the source of your guilt and irritation. Turns out when Jake stole your phone those couple weeks ago, he filled your gallery with ridiculous selfies— several blurry, taken at hilarious angles, and others, obnoxiously flirtatious, as if he intended to get a rise out of you.

He was shirtless in all of them, which only made your nerves hum, and your palms sweaty.

One photo in particular always made you feel hazy– Jake had fallen over your sheets, sweatpants hung low on his hips, and a veined hand wrapped around his neck like a choker, his demure, heavy eyes telling of his arousal for you.

Fantastic— As if you needed a fucking souvenir photo for that day.  

In frustration, you slammed your head back on the headrest, drawing a concerned look from your Uber driver in the mirror. The car had come to a momentary stop in a free parking space. 

"Sorry," you quickly apologized and hurried out of the car onto the busy streets of downtown.

A red neon sign that read Deities & Denizens glowed several feet above you, indicating that you were at your stop. You glanced at your reflection in a tinted window and smoothed your fingers over the soft velvet fabric of your dress, ending at the tops of your thighs.

The black dress dipped sharply to reveal the skin of your decollete, the panels wrapped and tied to the side of your waist. Its long fitted sleeves would keep you warm, as would your trusty thigh-high, suede boots you'd chosen for the night.

Thin, woven strands of leather kept them tied behind your thighs, and at the end of each dangled a silver horned charm. The heel gave you a couple of inches of height without compromising comfort, along with the false hope that you might have a chance at appearing less like a child next to Heeseung.  

You pocketed your phone into your dress and ran your fingers over the simple diamond choker resting at the base of your neck; it was a lovely gift from your mother, who you hadn't seen in a long time, and you've only worn it out on occasion.

A gust of wind from the cars driving by swept your hair, and the bustling street activity along with the chatter of people caused a thought to intrude on your mind.

What if I had taken Jake instead?

With a frustrated huff, you dropped your arms to your sides and yanked open the door to the venue.

Why would I even think such a thing? I'm here to spend time with–

"Hey."

To your left stood the man of the hour with his arms crossed over his chest.

Immediately your face brightened upon seeing Heeseung, who gave you a small smile in return.

"What are you doing over there brooding against the wall for?"

"Waiting for you, of course," Heeseung replied.

Well, you set yourself up for that one.

"Yeah, I know– Sorry I'm a bit late."

Although Heeseung was as much of a wallflower as you were, his exquisite fashion sense consistently garnered attention from anyone in close vicinity. Dressed head to toe in black with a sleek leather coat and dress boots, he must've been drawing glances from strangers since he arrived, even appearing slightly intimidating to you despite knowing him.

Heeseung pushed off the wall and made his way towards you. He easily pulled you into his arms as you rose to the tips of your toes, barely able to thread your arms around his neck in a warm embrace without his help.

Immediately, you appreciated the proximity; after all, it was the first physical human contact you've had in weeks. Almost wanting to just fall limp against Heeseung, you opted to rest your cheek against his shoulder and take in the scent of his cologne. He smelled of warm musk, and subtle spice layered over crisp apples, reminding you of a crackling fireplace amid the cold woods.

Heeseung felt you relax against him and rubbed comforting circles against your back in response. 

"You looked a little distressed there; something happen along the way here?"

Coming to your senses, you slipped your arms from his shoulders, but his hands settled on your hips, keeping you close. It startled you slightly, being able to feel the outline of his natural bulge press against you. 

Breath catching, you replied, "...No. It was just a weird Uber drive. You know how those can sometimes be."

"Next time, let's just meet at your place, and we'll go from there together," he looked into your eyes, and you thought you imagined his thumb slowly dragging over the curve of your hip.

Gosh, Heeseung feels different.

"You're sweet," Taking his hand, you tugged him along to the back of the restaurant, "Next time."

His skin was warm to the touch, and you willed your palms from getting sweaty. 

Heeseung leaned down, his warm breath tickling your ear, "You look beautiful tonight."

Even amongst all the noise, his gentle voice managed to send shivers across your skin.

"It's nice pretending to be a participating member of society once in a while," You smirked up at him, fighting the urge to shy away.

"It is nice, sometimes,” he agreed.

As you weaved between groups of people and servers alike, the aroma of the food spread on each table made your stomach growl.

"This place is pretty cool; the vibe reminds me of the 1920s," He looked over his shoulder, eyeing the busy old-fashioned bar drenched in warm lights, "Is this not where we're sitting?"

"Remember, it's a speakeasy– which means the bar we're going to is hidden further in," You turned around and stood in front of him as he came to a halt, "And you have to find it."

The both of you found yourselves in the middle of a dim hallway, luxurious glass cases filled with massive blocks of ice on trays to your left, rows of large steel kegs lining the furthest back wall behind you, and a mysterious door on your right. 

An amused smile tugged at Heeseung's lips as he brushed by you and reached for the gold door knob, the most obvious choice.

He peered into it curiously before shutting the door, "That is a fancy bathroom."

You chuckled, stepping aside to watch him further explore the space while taking in… well, him. 

Somehow Heeseung had grown since you last saw him in person; his shoulders had broadened, filling out his leather coat, and the slight angle of his jaw was more mature. A stranger probably wouldn't have guessed he'd move with such grace across the stage with his long limbs, but you knew how exceptional of a performer he was. 

Everything from his subtly styled hair to the steel toe of his boots was impeccable; Heeseung naturally exuded an intriguing aura that people picked up on even when he wasn't on stage. Perhaps it came with the familiarity of being in the spotlight. You've never been the sort to care to perform in front of others, and with Heeseung, you've never had to.

Heeseung curiously ran his hand over the wall of steel kegs and shot you a questioning look.

"You're hot," you hinted.

"Am I?"

You rolled your eyes as Heeseung held his hand out to you with a glimmer in his eye, "Come on."

Without a second thought, you took his hand in yours.

Jake wove his palm over a flickering candle, hunched over his chosen glass of amber poison. Its heat stung, but only when he stayed put for too long. 

It was no different with his sexual encounters.

He was reminded of how candlelight spilled over your serene expression in the bath and the mess of feelings that overcame him after your last tryst weeks ago. How he left you on your knees in that tub after everything— after he used you.

A pang of guilt throbbed in his chest, so he swallowed a mouthful of his drink, enduring the burn down his throat. 

"So, handsome. What are you headed after this, my place or yours?" A perfectly manicured finger reached out to trace the back of his hand, and he instinctively retracted it. 

… Instinctively?

"I don't have any plans, and I'll likely be keeping it that way for the rest of the night."

The woman huffed and shot an irritated look at him, then glared across the table at Jake's more relaxed companion. 

Jake glanced over at Sunghoon, who had an arm draped around another random woman that suddenly appeared at their table about twenty minutes prior, already sipping on her third martini.

As the woman at Jake's side downed her drink, Sunghoon shrugged at his friend’s prickly demeanor. "Really, Jake? Hey Jay, can we get another—"

Said bartender quickly approached their table from the bar and directed a threat to the man under his breath, "I will personally slip cyanide into your drink if you order another Zombie, Sunghoon."

"It's for Jake; look at him. The poor guy needs to get fucked up a bit," Sunghoon insisted, brushing his fingers through his bleached locks, "And then maybe he'll tell us what the hell has been going on."

Jay gave the younger man a good look, taking in Jake’s unusual stony expression before nodding and rolling up his sleeves, "…Fine."

Just as Jay turned back to the bar, he paused in his tracks. 

Sunghoon followed the bartender's line of sight to a young woman dressed in black, never mind the man next to her. 

"Is she a regular?" He asked Jay.

Jake didn't bother to turn around or listen in to the ongoing conversation, fully caught up in his vehement thoughts about you.

Jay's attention snapped back to the task at hand, and he began pouring a couple of glasses of water behind the bar. "Even if she wasn't– don't even think about it."

"Why, you got dibs?" Sunghoon probed.

"No. She's just never come off as the type that'd give you a chance– Plus, she's brought company, for once."

Jay approached Sunghoon's short-term object of interest for the night, who was admittedly his favorite regular and her plus one, who Jay– if he were being honest with himself– was a bit envious of.

Heeseung's expression upon entering the speakeasy was absolutely priceless. His mouth fell agape upon noticing the long wall lined with rows upon rows of skulls to the left where you both stood. The walls reached the incredibly high ceiling, decorated with obscure framed paintings and portraits of people staring down at the unsuspecting diners.

On his right, several deep, inverted shelves that were tucked into the walls displayed an impressive stock of spirits and booze for the clientele's ailments. People occupied each booth and table, yet it wasn't nearly as noisy as the restaurant outside.

The room was bathed in warm, dim lighting from the individual tea lights scattered along the tables and the grand candle-lit chandelier hanging at the center of it all.

"It's like something out of Disneyland, isn't it?" You said.

"Feels like a cross between Pirates of the Caribbean and Haunted Mansion," He agreed, "It's right up your alley."

"Exactly," you smiled, tugging him to your reserved seats at the closest end of the bar.

On queue, a familiar face approached you.

"Hi, Jay."

"___," He greeted, replacing the reservation plaque on the marble counter with two glasses of water, "It's been a while, and you've brought company this time."

"I have! Meet my best friend, Heeseung."

"Hello, best friend," Jay nodded at Heeseung, who returned the gesture.

"Hello."

That drew a chuckle from you just as Jay brandished a menu with a flourish and slid it across the counter, "Let me know when you're ready, love."

"I will," you said shyly, unable to help yourself when interacting with the bold bartender.

Heeseung rapped his knuckles against the marble counter while looking after Jay as he walked off. He observed you closely as you studied the small, gold foiled menu. 

You slid a hand over your stomach as it growled, "I swear, I'm about to order one of everything."

"The menu's not that big," Heeseung propped his chin up on his palm, "Why don't we?" 

"Really?" You grinned, "You gonna help me finish it all?"

"Don't I always?"

"Yeah, yeah– keep thinking you put it away better than me," You drawled, finger running down the list of specialty cocktails to choose from, "What are you thinking drinks-wise?"

"Since you know what's good here, why don't you choose for me?"

"Aw, you trust me to get you something nice and sweet for your baby taste buds?"

Heeseung pouted, "I don't have baby taste buds."

"Yes, you do, Mister I'd like extra, extra sugar in my milk tea, please."

Heeseung gently nudged you sulkily, and you mischievously made a big show of nearly slipping off your stool. Just as he caught you, your hand shot out to grip his arm and steady yourself, a bit surprised to feel his muscles flex under his jacket.

"Geez! I almost fell on my ass."

He pulled you back onto your seat with ease, "You did not—"

"Ready for some drinks?" Jay suddenly reappeared after seeing your arms flail from across the room.

You straightened up, a smile plastered over your face. "Oh, yes. He'll have the Love Note, I'll have the Fallen Angel, and we'll get one of everything off the shareables."

Off to your side, Heeseung looked curious at the names of the cocktails you rattled off. 

"I'll put those in for you…"

You thanked Jay, but it appeared he wasn't finished speaking with you.

"… So, I received an anonymous request. This shot is from the hottest guys in the room," Jay sighed loudly, holding a glass filled with a creamy citrine liquid, "And they want you to go figure out who it is."

You stared at Jay, and he visibly cringed. "Hint: it's not me."

Heeseung gave Jay a tight-lipped smile, clearly not amused.

"I completely understand if you don't want to tip me." The bartender set the single shot glass down in front of you and quickly turned on his heel to tend to other guests. 

"What the hell?" Too curious for your own good, you scanned the dark room over your shoulder.

It was only a matter of seconds before you met the sharp gaze of a handsome young man with silver hair who sat on the opposite end of the room. A woman accompanied him, and another man with his back turned to you. 

The man facing you whispered something to his companion before sending an enticing wink your way. The girl at his side sent you a nasty look at the attention you were receiving, causing you to avert your eyes.

Unsettled and feeling a heat work up your neck, you were glad Heeseung couldn't see your face.

Then his dark haired companion turned your way, appearing somewhat lethargic until his sights settled on you. The same mixture of disbelief spread across both your faces.

Jake.

Heeseung paused. "Isn't that your roommate?"

"Yes," Your stool creaked as you turned back to the counter and stared down at the shot. It smelled sugary and citrusy; Heeseung would probably like it. "Yes, and I have no clue what's going on right now."

Jake's appearance at one of your favorite bars had to be coincidental. It wasn't his idea to send a shot over and get your attention, right? Did his friends even know what you looked like? He's never had them over except girls, and you've never taken any photos together, but it's possible Jake spilled everything to them… 

Shit. Did he actually? You hadn't even told Heeseung yet, but you hadn't exactly been planning on it.

Heeseung blinked at you in silence before his eyes narrowed in on your roommate. The last time they'd seen each other was through your laptop's screen, and Jake had been all up in your space if he remembered correctly.

Clearly, something had gone down between the two of you.

Jake couldn't take his eyes off you, even as you tried to duck your head out of sight… until he felt Heeseung's scrutinizing stare.

If looks could kill.

"Shall we people watch for old times sake? I'm sure it'll make them uncomfortable if they see us whispering to each other while staring at them," Heeseung suggested. 

You couldn't help but laugh out loud despite your nerves. 

In college, there had been countless nights you'd spent together in boba cafes while people-watching and whispering made-up stories of strangers' lives for fun. 

Perhaps it was a bit juvenile and silly of you two, but the stories you two spun had you doubled over in laughter by the end of the night. The two of you always did it on the down-low, but Heeseung must've been feeling a little bolder today. 

"…What do you think about the guy with my roommate?" You asked distractedly, preferring to speculate about Jake's friend rather than himself.

Heeseung spun your stool back around, so you both faced the suspected try-hards of the night. When his hand rested on the small of your back, you straightened up in your chair.

"He's likely a player if the guy's hanging around your roommate. Probably still in college and wants to hang with the big boys. I wouldn't be surprised if he pulled that stunt with the shot— tacky birds of a feather flock together." 

"Damn, you're not pulling any punches tonight, are you?" 

"I don't feel inclined to these days… it's an easy read."

Sunghoon's expression slowly shifted into a frown as he convened with Jake, who'd quickly turned his back on you.

You snickered, "I'd agree with you. The silver-haired kid probably secretly has a mommy kink."

Heeseung choked on his water, sending you into a fit of giggles only feeling a bit apologetic. He quickly recovered himself, shaking his head at you in disbelief.

"Sure you didn't pregame before meeting me here?"

"Hey, I'm here to have all the fun with you tonight!" You said.

"Right… So, what’s in our drinks?"

You shot him a sly look at how quickly he changed the subject but decided to go along with the flow.

“Love Note’s got vodka, gin & crème de violette. It's like a cloudy purple and looks a bit mysterious, but it's partly fizzy and tastes like candy. Even the presentation reminds me of you; you'll see when it comes," Heeseung found himself bashfully glancing down at his lap as you continued, "Fallen Angel supposedly has crème de menthe with gin & sugar in it. Not sure how that combination is with lime, but I thought, why not give it a try? Sometimes the names of drinks are enough to get me to taste it."

"Is menthe essentially mint? Kind of sounds like a toothpaste cocktail—"

"Don't even start," you warned, pressing a finger into his chest. 

Heeseung chuckled and you pursed your lips, the two of you sitting back to observe your surroundings again in comfortable silence.

To your annoyance, your eyes kept wandering back to Jake; you had to force yourself from staring at his back, feeling the weight of his unexpected presence on your shoulders. 

Giving Heeseung your full attention was challenging when so many things were pressing on your mind. Part of you wanted to leave after seeing Jake, but you didn't want to ruin your night with your best friend.

And even though you didn't owe Jake anything, you also felt the pressure to say something after weeks of silence, but you weren't sure what, and this certainly wasn't the place to do so.

Suddenly, the tips of Heeseung's fingers began tracing lazy shapes across your back as if he knew you'd drifted away in your thoughts. His touch sent tingles sparking across your skin, causing you to press your thighs together.

Oh gosh, what was he doing?

You felt Heeseung staring at you with a knowing look, and in a panic, you quickly reached for the forgotten shot on the counter before giving it a quick taste.

"Lemon drop. Try it," You tipped the glass towards him. 

Heeseung's long fingers curled around yours as he took the glass and knocked it back.

While Heeseung ran his tongue over his lips in consideration, you hadn't realized you were licking at your own, mirroring him. "Tastes like sour candy and vodka. I would've gotten you something different."

"Like what?"

"Just champagne, and lots of it," He said simply, setting down the empty glass.

"Quit making me out to be a drunk," you bumped his knee with yours and gave him an accusing look that had him beaming.

A chic string of notes filled your ears and drew your attention to the corner of the room; a live band had shuffled in and begun playing a sultry-sounding number that was a bit on the R&B side. Heeseung's hand dragged across your spine, causing you to squirm.

"___. Want to dance?"

You hunched your shoulders, at the thought. "Heeseung, you know I'm no good at dancing. I haven't had enough to drink yet to get into it. I really can't–"

"Dance with me," he whispered lowly.

The cocky look he gave you said you had no chance of skipping out this time. That this would be very different from the times you'd stubbornly stay on the sidelines whenever he found himself in the middle of a dance floor at the occasional family party you dragged him to.

Without a crowd to hide in, this just might be the first time in a while that Heeseung would push you out of your comfort zone. Whatever happened to the boy who let you have your way?

He threw his coat onto his seat and was already gently pulling you forward. With stiff limbs, you stumbled over to the small dance floor while hiding your face by staring at the tips of his leather shoes. 

Suddenly, you felt his warm hand brush the sides of your cheek as he delicately tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, the slightest frown pulling at his features.

"What?"

Honestly, Heeseung didn't like seeing you like this, believing that you deserve the spotlight with how beautiful you looked… And perhaps for a more selfish reason.

His gaze turned chilly as he spotted your obnoxious roommate, keenly aware of his nuisance of a friend that sent you a shot, even picking out the slick-haired bartender who seemed to have garnered your warmth. 

Heeseung turned back to you, releasing a deep breath that you didn't think much of, "I was just thinking about how popular someone is these days."

You merely scoffed, “Never.”

"Why not?" He challenged.

You gave him a look as though the answer were obvious, "I'm me."

Heeseung sighed, and decided to let it go for the time being.

Oblivious girl, he thought.

On the other hand, he found it cute how your hands tried to find somewhere comfortable to rest, frantically running over his arms and shoulders in a fuss. 

With a chuckle, he caught your shaky hands before placing one just above his chest and clasping the other with his own.

"Are you trying to tickle me?"

"No, my anxiety is just through the roof right now," you admitted.

"Let's just sway," Heeseung held you by the waist and turned you around; that way, you could only see the band playing over his shoulders rather than the curious crowd, "Easy. You can do that for me, right, love?"

He's teasing me, isn't he?

When you said nothing and merely bit your lip, looking up at him cheerlessly, Heeseung grinned and pulled you tighter against him in reassurance. 

"I hate you," You uttered while furrowing your brows at him.

That was far from what he was hoping to hear from you that night.

"... I've missed you." 

In the blink of an eye, his expression suddenly turned troubled, and you were taken aback at his seriousness. It was difficult to discern the reason for the affliction in his eyes.

"I've… missed you too." 

There was no doubt that he could feel your heart beating wildly through your rib cage while you followed his lead, stepping side to side at a pace that was way too slow for the song. Regardless, Heeseung didn't seem to care about being behind one bit, proud that you were slowly catching onto the rhythm he set for you.

The odd look in his eyes lingered, even as he masked it with a smile and praised you.

"You've got it." 

However, he placed too much trust in you when he spun you around in a twirl, your stomach lurching when you felt the heel of your shoe catch on the floor. 

You cursed as you rocked backward, trying to brace yourself to meet the hard floor. The room swirled and then went still at the oddest angle in your vision.

To your relief, Heeseung's hands effortlessly supported your back and secured your wrist, suspending you in mid-air. At the angle he held you at, the room appeared upside down, and you found that you couldn't pull yourself up without his help.

"Heeseung–"

"Relax, ___," Heeseung's lips brushed against the pulse of your neck, an unexpected moan slipping past your lips, "I'm not going to let you fall."

Oh fuck…

Blood rushed to your head and downwards— pulse throbbing between your thighs as he finally pulled you right side up, securing you against him. With Heeseung pressed between your legs for the second time that night, you realized you didn't need several drinks to make you feel intoxicated.

Your surroundings were a blur as he led you across the floor, oblivious to Jake's steely eyes searing into you with longing from across the room.

"Heeseung," You repeated, more urgently this time.

The man noticed the shift in your tone and although you tried to sound intimidating, the underlying neediness in your voice nearly set him off.

The two of you stumbled into the back hallway, the live music growing quieter, and the sound of blood rushing through your ears suddenly audible. Heeseung steadied you by the waist as he pressed near, your back quickly hitting a wall as you did your best to quiet your pants. 

Deeply affected by the culmination of his touches and whispers against your skin all night, you struggled to get your thoughts in order.

He just–

"What is it, ___?"

Taken aback at his nonchalance, you searched his eyes, almost crumbling under the intensity of his stare. You glanced at your boots, needing a distraction with your heart rate rapidly picking up.

"M-my boot is untied."

Heeseung blinked while you reached down to fix it, but he was much quicker than you.

Lightly dragging his hands down the sides of your body, he dropped to his knee, presenting you with an indulgent view of him at your feet.

Heeseung's nimble fingers grazed the skin of your bare thigh, causing your teeth to tuck against your bottom lip as he adjusted the suede fabric in place. He reached behind your leg and caught the thin leather tassels to tighten in a pretty knot, the horned charm dangling against your calf. 

His hands never left your skin, even as his gaze flickered up at you.

You could only stare back, the concept of time arresting for you both. The slightest of Heeseung's touches made your core clench in want, thoughts devolving into a jumbling mess of insistent urges. 

He saw it all over your face, but you still tried to suppress it.

"I could've–"

Before you got another word out, Heeseung tenderly pressed his lips to the curve of your thigh, his warm palms sliding over your skin. 

Oh.

Your last shred of self-control slipped from your grasp upon feeling arousal drip down your inner thigh, your hands slapping over your mouth in shock. Heeseung pulled back his hand to inspect the wetness, assuming it to be sweat… until realization hit him.

"___," He said darkly.

"Fuck– I'm so sorry–" Wanting more than nothing but to disappear into thin air, you tried to get past him only to be caged in by his arms. 

"Where do you think you're going?"

When you clutched at his shoulders, he sought your undivided attention with piercing eyes that you refused to meet. 

"I'm sorry, I can't..."

Heeseung's voice softened as he moved his hand to thumb at your lips. "It's okay, baby. You can't what?"

To stay or to leave; your mind and body battled.

This is your best friend. 

"I can't keep it together anymore," your voice fell to a hush, but he caught it all. 

With a shaky breath, you slid your hands down his chest, feeling his taut muscles underneath his shirt– sensed him shudder with the difference in how you touched him this time.

When your gaze fell to his lips, Heeseung leaned forward until you pulled him against you, not an inch to spare between your bodies.

Once your lips slid together, you noted every detail about how he kissed you, how his tongue tasted bright and sweet as he heavily caressed yours in a way that made your mouth water. The kisses he gave you were deep and coaxing, never quite overpowering but certainly leaving you wanting so much more.

And the way he held you, no differently than the self-assured manner in which he did out on the dance floor, had you wondering why you never entirely gave yourself over to his embrace in the first place.

You hadn't noticed you were pressing your hips against his until he gripped beneath your thighs, hoisting you into his arms. Naturally, your legs wrapped around his waist, hands threading around his neck to run through the soft hair at his nape. 

Your eyes fluttered when he quickly rolled his hips into your core, your whiny moans muffled against his mouth. He was already so hard, and you were dripping.

"Oh, you like that."

"Hee—" You pulled away to catch your breath, but Heeseung merely dipped his head to press sweet kisses above the swell of your breasts, running his tongue along your gleaming choker. 

"Too much, baby?"

"No, but—" His thumbs rolled over your sensitive nipples through your velvet dress, causing more whimpers to leave your lips. "Mmn, fuck— Why are you doing this for me?"

"I could ask you the same question," he peered up at you and began to kiss along the soft line of your jaw, struck by how you melted into his touch, "Why do you think?"

"Hee, I can barely think right now," you huffed against his neck, mouthing a kiss against his pulse in return, "Back lounge, on my left. Hurry."

Once he set off in the right direction, you should've taken a moment to catch your breath but instead, you laved your tongue over the protruding curve of his throat, teasing over his adam's apple. The heat of your mouth drew a deep moan from him, a sound you’ve never heard, full of something akin to frustration and hunger.

Heeseung threw open the door, barely considering his surroundings as he laid you down onto the nearest ruby red couch, pressing you into the luxurious cushions. His hands left your body only to slam the door shut; then, they were back on your hot skin, roaming, and pleasuring, along with his lips. 

The moment Heeseung felt your nails dig into his shoulder blades, he lifted his head from the crook of your neck, voice straining as if he were holding himself back, “Use your words with me, baby. For once, don't leave me guessing what's inside your head."

Oh, you want to tell him you're aching.

That you've been aching inside since your first love left you feeling empty. That although you took back what you wanted from Jake and more, you still felt so unfulfilled for reasons you couldn't place.

Even now, as you realized Heeseung harbored feelings of some kind for you and that you'd been insistently ignoring Jake's odd ways of expressing his own. 

I'm moving too fast again, aren't I? There's a pattern here, you thought, as Heeseung captured your lips sweetly with his.

What did this pattern mean, and what did it say about yourself?

"I don't want to lose you," You gripped his shoulders, "If I let you do this, I'll lose you."

"___, you're not going to lose me." Heeseung dragged his lips against yours again, unable to get enough of you. 

Something deep inside you knew that wasn't true, not because of your lack of faith in Heeseung, but in yourself. Still, you chose to ignore it.

"You can't just do this," You finally got out in between kisses, "It's not fair."

Heeseung chuckled against your lips, "What isn't fair?"

"The way you've been acting all night, this isn't like you."

"Not like me, huh? That just proves we don't spend enough time with each other nowadays."

When your hand gripped his jaw, Heeseung bit his lip and swallowed a groan. "So, you do this to girls often? Flirt with them all night just to have your way with them?"

"No, I'm not like your roommate, ___."

The mention of Jake made you freeze, and Heeseung took note of it, eyes hardening.

"When I touch you like this," Heeseung dipped his fingers between your thighs, dragging them against your lace-covered pussy, and began to rub circles, "When I kiss you—," he licked into your mouth with a sigh, tasting your sweetness, and was delighted when you granted him more access, "— I mean it."

Momentarily, your eyes squeezed shut at the intensity of it all, your hand twisting into the collar of his shirt. 

Heeseung drove his point home when he took your hand and guided it to his lap, breath hitching when you didn't hesitate to palm his hard cock through his pants.

"Only you make me like this," he admitted breathlessly. 

You felt him up, kneading your hand firmly along his thick length. "Since when?"

Heeseung shook his head, inching ever closer, his thumb brushing over your flushed cheek. Those half-lidded eyes of his that bore into you had your panties dripping with arousal. "I don't think you would believe me if I told you, ___."

You were genuinely surprised at the suggestion of his words. 

"... I don't let just anyone kiss me, you know?"

"I know. I know," Heeseung punctuated with a graze of his lips across your collarbone, "So let me do this for you."

He switched from rubbing circles against your clit to dipping his fingers into your entrance through your panties to collect your wetness. Unhurried, the pads of his fingers spread it along the swollen lips of your pussy.

"You're soaked, baby."

You were fast approaching the point of no return for you two, if not already there.

"T-this is going to change things between us, Heeseung."

He paused. "Do you want that?"

There was nothing to be guaranteed about this exchange except for the inevitable drastic shift in your relationship with Heeseung. And even though he told you that you would never lose him as a friend, you questioned being able to guarantee him the same reassurance. Could the two of you come back from this unchanged?

You weren't sure what you wanted to be to him, and vice-versa. All you knew was that you needed him like this, right here and now. 

Why? Why am I like this?

"… I don’t know, I just know I want you." His eyes widened in slight surprise for a split second before they turned roguish, a haze overcoming them. 

"Alright then. Either you tell me what you want…" He tapped on your clit playfully, making your hips twitch "… Or you tell me when to stop."

"I don't have anything like a condom and I’m not on a pill," you admitted, knowing Heeseung would understand, "But do whatever else you want to me, Hee. Just promise me you'll make me come hard, please?"

Heeseung nodded, and it drove you nuts when he took his hand off your pussy to toy with the neckline of your dress while he leaned over your chest. 

"Oh, I can do that for you and more."

His hands slid under the deep collar of your midnight black dress to reveal your swelling breasts and pert nipples. Heeseung parted his lips as though to take one of your tits into his mouth, but his warm breath only ghosted over your nipples, a smirk slowly pulling at his lips as he watched you pull your hair out. 

Now he has the self-control to slow down?

"A-ah, don't tease me, Hee. You've teased me all night."

"You know, I've had that image of you with your pretty set of tits out in your kitchen burned into my memory ever since it happened. Hence, a bit of harmless teasing is only fair," Heeseung kneaded your breasts in his hands before he chose a peak to ripple his warm tongue against.

Inwardly you screamed, never expecting to hear those words come from Heeseung's lips, let alone see them wrapped around your tits. With the way he worked his mouth, you figured you could stay beneath him all night. 

"Haah— what have you done with the Heeseung I know and love?" You whined half-heartedly, embarrassed that he brought up that mishap of you dropping your towel in front of him over that damned video call. 

"I'm still here," He pressed a light kiss to your chin, "But I'm sure with some time you'll come to love this side of me too– So don't shy away from me, ___," he reached up to stroke your cheek tenderly before he leaned back down and switched between engulfing each of your nipples in tight, moist kisses. 

Heeseung would deepen the kiss against your breasts and suckle a little harder each time, provoking your moans to grow louder along with his pace. 

Fuck, you had almost forgotten how amazing this felt like.

Feeling desperate, you caught his wrist to lick a stripe against his palm and along the length of his fingers, needing something to do with your mouth. Heeseung slid two of his fingers past your lips, and you eagerly sucked on them, letting your tongue swirl over his knuckles and messily coat them in your saliva. 

Heeseung's groan rumbled against your breast, causing you to moan against his digits and buck your hips into his waist. His mouth slid off your tit, giving each one a final caress with his tongue, then he tugged you up to sit against the back of the smooth couch cushions.

Your head spun; it was utterly dizzying to be worshipped by him.

"Please, don’t stop touching me," you urged.

"I know, let me give it to you, baby,” Heeseung cooed, “Let me make your aching pussy feel better." 

Once he had you situated and comfortable, he sank to his knees between your legs, and just the rough appearance of him made your clit throb. Heeseung's dark hair was a bit disheveled from your entanglements, and his lips were swollen, glistening in the loveliest way. Then it hit you that he was still clothed from head to toe, to your disapproval. 

"Come here and let me take off your shirt."

Heeseung obediently sat up on his knees, and you leaned over, roughly dragging your hands down the center of his torso, the buttons to his black silk shirt giving under your fingers with a pop. He pushed back your hair to mouth kisses just under your ear, distracting you a bit. 

Once you undid his shirt, you made a point to admire his lean physique, unmistakably that of a dancer's. With too much excitement, you pushed his shirt past his broad shoulders to reveal his sculpted chest and abs.

"Wow," your brows rose as you trailed your touch down his chest, "You're literally ripped."

"It sort of comes with the job…" He glanced down at the carpet, a small smile tugging at his lips. 

There was that shy boy you were all too familiar with, but the moment Heeseung met your eyes again, he'd switched back to his current self, his gaze abounding with desire– and suddenly, you were the one faltering under his attention.

His bulge had remained prominent in his pants and empathizing with his needs, you reached down to touch him. However, he caught your hand.

"Let me take care of you first," Heeseung pulled you into a heated kiss, palms stroking along your inner thighs.

Oh god.

It was impossible to keep track of how many times Heeseung kissed you so far in the night, but somehow, each one felt sweeter than the last. 

"Still wet for me?"

"Yes," you shuddered as he trailed kisses down your stomach, hovering over your clothed mound.

Heeseung slipped his fingers under the lacy waistband of your panties and peeled the soaked fabric back from your pussy. He was enraptured with the way the strands of your slick fell against your skin, the scent of your arousal making his entire body ache.

"So pink and pretty," He sat back and spread his knees to steady himself between your legs, "Have you tasted yourself, ___?"

Flustered, you hesitated to answer, but when Heeseung inclined his chin, the truth came out, "...Yes."

"Naughtier than I thought," Heeseung tugged off your panties from your ankle and shot you a mischievous look when he brought the soaked fabric to his lips, "Bet you taste sweet."

He wouldn't—

Heeseung ran his tongue over the pool of wetness on your lace panties, collecting your arousal on his taste buds. The feverish look he sent you had you reeling.

“Hee…”

"I was right, but I think you're sweeter from the source." 

Speechless, your face burned, and your clit tingled as he tucked your panties into his back pocket and pulled you closer to him by your hips.

"Guess I'll just have to find out."

Heeseung dragged the tip of his tongue around your engorged lower lips, coming teasingly close to your clit just to blow a cold gust of air on it. 

"Oh my god, Hee, please," Your body trembled with unbearable tension as you tried to lift your hips towards him, chest heaving because of his torment on your body. "Don't tease—"

Finally, Heeseung flattened his tongue and sloppily lapped up your slit to capture your clit against his lips. You threw your head back as a moan ripped from your throat, eyes squeezing shut in pleasure. There was no way the sensation of getting eaten out could ever get old to you. Although it was only your second time, you were positively addicted.

And Heeseung devoured you with fervor, the feelings he'd built up for you over the years finally releasing through this outlet of pleasuring you. He continuously rolled his tongue over your clit, and suckled kisses over the nub, the moist sounds mixed with his muffled groans filling your ears.

He felt so soft on your pussy— a perfect mix of gentle and frenzied to push you over the edge. 

"Ahn, fuck, you’re so good at this..." You praised while stroking Heeseung's hair away from his eyes; you were surprised to see the immense fondness in them. 

With a twinge in your chest, you realized there was no way you were his first, not with how skilfully he used his tongue. When did your Heeseung grow up in between graduating from university and the present day? 

Heeseung noticed your expression waver and immediately picked up the pace, pulling you back into the moment. He wriggled his tongue back and forth on your clit, and held you open by your thigh while his middle finger dragged up your entrance.

"A-ah! I haven't yet…"

With much difficulty, Heeseung released your clit with a smack and looked over you curiously. "You haven't what yet, baby?"

"I haven't fingered myself yet," You caught your breath, trying to read his reaction.

"Oh," He considered your words while playing with your wetness by circling his thumb over your pussy, "I'd rather we do what you're comfortable with then, baby."

"Well, I want to try it with you… if you go slow." You nibbled on your lip, trying to control yourself when Heeseung's insistent touches kept you squirming.

"Yeah? I promise I'll be very gentle. Tell me if you don't like it, and we'll stop," Heeseung rubbed his cheek against your thigh, his sweet eyes crinkling as he gave you a pleased smile, "I wanna know all the things that make you tick..."

With that, his mouth was back on your pussy, lovingly working you open and getting you back into the mood, so you were thoroughly soaked to take his fingers.

Knowing how much you liked it, Heeseung reached up to squeeze your tits and rub at your sensitive nipples, eliciting a muffled moan from you as struggled to stay quiet. The combined stimulation of all your sweet spots had you reeling, the start of an orgasm building in your core.

Heeseung pulled back only to cover his index and middle finger with his own saliva as he observed your conflicted expression from under his lashes. 

In that moment, he realized he’s never wanted to ruin you more than now.

Swiping his tongue over his lips, he twisted a single finger against your entrance, mixing his saliva with your slick. At the slightest pressure, your pussy gushed with arousal.

"Hnhn, H-Hee–"

"Relax, baby, you can let me in. I'll go slow, promise. One finger at a time."

Determined to keep from clenching, you released a breath and calmed your nerves, your hands moving to squeeze your tits out of comfort. Heeseung took the opportunity to press into your warm folds, and you felt him nudge even deeper inside you.

"You're doing so well for me, ____. Want me to keep going?"

"Yes," you nodded and felt his knuckles slowly push past your slit to stroke against your velvet walls.

"Oh shit–" You seized around his digit and spilled more of your wetness onto his hand.

"Feel that, how deep I am?" Heeseung felt so hot, rubbing your insides so wonderfully, and it was just the effect of his single finger.

"T-this is intense..." 

"Your body knows it was made to take this," his voice deepened, "See?"

Heeseung took his sweet time, letting you feel every sensation of him slowly pumping in and out of your tightening walls. A surge of wetness accompanied his fingers each time he pressed in, your insides overreacting to his intrusion while you mesmerized him.

"God, you won't stop dripping, baby," he remarked in awe, swiping his tongue along your pussy to lap up your wetness. 

"A-another," you splayed your hands out against the velvet sofa and coerced him with a grind of your hips, feeling as if you were about to go insane.

Immediately Heeseung appeased you; he worked a second finger into your tightness, attempting to stretch your walls that resisted him. So he eased out slightly— pressing back in at the halfway point— and peppered your thighs with kisses. At the same time, he thumbed your clit to give you a break you didn't realize you needed.

Of course, you thought he was only teasing you to death, and two could play at that game.

"More," you untied your dress completely, letting it fall open while you fondled your breasts seductively from above him, "I want more."

"Need more of my fingers inside of you, baby? Is one not enough for this tight pussy?" Heeseung smirked at how quickly your demeanor shifted in comparison to just before he began to finger you.

The intense pressure in his pants persisted, but he was doing his damndest to keep himself in check, determined to see you come undone first. Because the moment you walked into the lobby, he felt it in the air, in the way you nearly dissolved in his arms; you needed this.

"Yes, yes— need more of you," you begged.

So Heeseung didn't hesitate to resume fitting his knuckles past your walls, and once he felt your insides give, he filled you with his fingers. The man didn't give a damn about your slick spilling past his wrist and soaking into the velvet texture of the sofa— he was much too preoccupied with the way your beautiful body writhed under him, testing him.

The stretch of his fingers was perfect, your luscious moans and the deep flush over your skin incredibly telling of your pleasure.

"Ahn, haah, Hee…"

Heeseung curled his fingers against a sweet spot deep inside of you, and laved his tongue over the expanse of your pussy, sucking tenderly at your clit.

“R-right there,” you sobbed, squeezing your eyes shut. 

There was no way you'd last any longer at this relentless pace; you were already arching off the cushions, and Heeseung had to hold your hips down with his free hand to finish you off.

He moaned deeply against your clit upon feeling your fingers thread through his hair to brace yourself against him, his lips and tongue working together to suckle and plunge into your pussy ‘till you spilled your sweetness against him. 

"Oh god, oh god, ohhh god…"

"C'mon, sweetheart," Heeseung sped up and slid his fingers from your entrance only to twist them back in at the perfect angle, "Want you to soak yourself, want to taste you on my tongue for the next week— come on me, baby."

"Heeseung– Hee–" Your hips jerked against his face once, twice— and you nearly blacked out from the ecstasy of his tongue shaking against your clit, his fingers heavily stroking your insides even though you squeezed him like a vice. 

You were falling apart in a way you never have before, the closest you've ever been to being filled, and you could almost cry from the crashing waves of pleasure flooding your body. Everything felt so blindingly sweet; it was incredible.

When your tremors began to subside, you could barely open your eyes and prop yourself up to look at him, taking in one of the biggest messes you've ever been a culprit of— from the soaked cushion underneath you to Heeseung's cum stained lips and chin. His reddened cheeks and jaw were glistening as well and you felt like fainting on the spot. 

Heeseung wasn't quite done with you because he pressed your knees into your chest and buried his hot tongue inside you with a deep squelch. He continued to lap lower between your cheeks, then back over your taint, and along your folds to kiss your swollen nub.

"Mmmn," He hummed against your skin teasingly, and there was no way you could hold yourself up anymore, so you fell back with a breathy moan, fingers tugging on anything of his that you could grab hold of.

"Fuck, Hee!"

An excess of heat spread across your face, body trembling from Heeseung's rather passionate acts. Pleased with your reactions, he sat back and massaged his palms over your legs as helped you stretch them out, a wince pulling at your features.

"Such an obedient pussy. You took my fingers so well for your first time, baby," Heeseung smiled, mouthing along your thigh.

How were you supposed to move a muscle after that? You felt drunk out of your mind.

"T-that felt so good, Hee."

"Yeah? How good?"

All you could do in response was tug him against your lips for a kiss that lasted until you both had to break for air. 

Why was it so easy to kiss him?

Heeseung's eyelids lowered as he stood up and slid against your side. "Huh, so good enough for a second time?"

"Maybe," You shoved at his chest, and he fell back against the sofa cushions while you climbed over him, "It was good enough for me to want to do something about it right now, so I'll let you choose."

You steadied yourself over his lap on the sofa and ran your fingernail along his pant zipper, still a bit shaky from your orgasm. "When you come, do you want my pussy rubbing on your cock or my tongue?"

Heeseung looked genuinely conflicted. "...What if I want a little bit of both?"

"Both?" You questioned, unsure if you should be flattered or taken aback, "For you, I could make an exception… Why, you want me every which way that badly, baby?"

Heeseung grazed your chin with his thumb. "___, I'm just being greedy since I haven't seen you in so long."

"… Tell me, why all of this all of a sudden?"

Heeseung settled back against the couch with a sigh and pulled you onto his lap, quietly considering your question. You let him, but neither of you moved besides his palms caressing over your hips. Part of you was hoping to get some insight into his feelings for you without this being an outright interrogation. 

"It may seem sudden to you, but it's not for me," He admitted, “Back then, I leaped at any opportunity to hang out, like when you'd invite me to study at your favorite boba shop after classes. You were always the focused sort, and I admired you for it, but when we'd sit at those long tables, and you'd lay your head on my lap while you slept— well my thoughts would run wild."

"Seriously?" You smirked, "How wild?"

"Shamelessly so. The depraved side of me thought about you laying on your stomach next to me and quietly unzipping my pants to suck on my cock while no one was looking. The equally terrible, naive side of me wanted to pull a Sleeping Beauty, but I knew I would've gotten my ass beat, and rightfully so."

Holy shit.

"That’s so… I can't believe you thought about me that way," You murmured, despite the reframing of your innocent memories with Heeseung making your face burn.

"I know, but can you blame me? I mean," He ran his fingers up the side of your waist, admiring your figure, "Look at you, you're beautiful."

"I am so embarrassed right now," You admitted under your breath.

He held your hands against his chest and chuckled when you started shrinking away. What else were you supposed to do under such circumstances? Heeseung was the sweetest, but there was only so much attention you could take in a night.

"Hey, don't get shy with me because that's not all."

"It's not?"

"No. ___, you had your shit together, and I was just a kid who probably wouldn't have survived university without you whipping my ass into gear. I always looked up to how you took care of the people around you, even if it was your special brand of tough love."

You stifled a laugh by biting down on your lip, taking in his words. 

"I felt special being one of the few, but I knew you had a reputation for being a bit of a heartbreaker. People who dared to ask you out never stood a chance," Heeseung smiled, then hesitated, "... I never got the chance to tell you, but I got into some relationships after we graduated. One was a little more serious than the other, or so I thought."

He failed to hide the disappointment and hurt in his expression when your features wilted in confusion. It was impossible to identify the untold feelings you experienced in that very second, but most of them had to do with the astonishing fact that Heeseung had fallen in love when you weren't looking; when you should have been looking out for him as his best friend.

"They didn't work out, and it was for reasons out of my control," He glanced at you, and was touched to see your concerned expression, "But you know how it goes sometimes."

Heeseung knew about your first love, which you'd shared with him long ago— but he didn't know about Jake. 

Stunned, your mind raced for something to say in response. Even though you nodded slightly and remained quiet, he could see you processing his words with a forlorn expression.

"It's okay. It's one of those things you come out stronger from, you know?" Heeseung reassured you, even though it should have been the other way around, "I only brought that up because I could never get enough of you back then— even now."

Absentmindedly, he ran his hands down your arms; his even gaze slowly descending your body, making you even more breathless, in your emotional state.

"I always wished you were my first, it made the most sense, but I made my choices. I guess I was too reserved with my feelings and didn’t realize I should be a little more honest with myself until we started doing our own separate thing. It's hard, but I've been trying to be better at that." 

"Heeseung."

Just the way you sighed his name had him lightheaded as if he weren't already hanging on a thread with you in his arms. It was almost too much when you cupped his cheek with your palm. His eyes fluttered shut for a mere moment before they took you in with deep affection.

Heeseung continued, "I know you, ___, so tell me later when you've taken some time to think. Way down the line, after we've caught up and you've given me the time of day to properly express everything to you," He pressed close to you, his lips barely brushing yours, eyes steady, "But please don't make me wait too long. I'm here when you need me... when you want me."

"Like now?" You asked, already knowing his answer.

"Yeah— like now."

With a gentleness that threatened to undo you entirely, Heeseung moved his lips against yours, causing a fluttering in your stomach that was reminiscent of what should have been your first.

So many should-haves and could-haves.

However, Heeseung in all of his abilities was intent on disallowing you to dwell too long on the past. His restless lips on your skin and hard body beneath yours served as a reminder that in the present moment, he wasn't anywhere in the world but right here with you.

The entire expanse of your skin felt ultra-sensitive under his touch because of your last orgasm, but he still pushed your limits. His thumbs rolled over your puffy nipples, the addition of his insatiable kisses bringing them to pleasured peaks while you panted sweetly, and soon enough, you were dripping from between your thighs onto the dark fabric of his pants.

"A-ah," You gasped against his neck and bucked your hips against his waist when you felt him drag his middle finger between your folds and circle your clit. He did it again, swiping at your slit and pulling back a few inches to see your pre-cum string along his fingers.

"Look at you falling apart on me. Your body can't get enough, can it?"

"Can't imagine how you feel, Hee," You shot back, even though you were about to lose it, "You must be aching."

"I just might be," Heeseung grunted and lightly squeezed your jaw, “Think you could take it if I stuffed your adorable cheeks with my cock, baby?"

"Yes,” you breathed.

“Good answer.”

With that, you were quickly undoing the closure of Heeseung's pants, wanting to feel the heat of his cock against your pussy and tongue, in whichever order he wanted. He strained under the layers of fabric, but once you tugged his pants and black briefs low enough on his hips, you dipped past his waistband and seized his cock.

You salivated at the gorgeous sight of him; Heeseung's thick girth was incredibly hot to the touch, pulsing against your hand with considerable length. Your finger traced along the ridge of his tip up to his bubbling slit, wanting to taste him.

You slid off his lap to kneel between his spread thighs, and god, did he look gorgeous staring down at you with darkened eyes and a flush across his cheeks. His bare chest rose and fell irregularly, and his muscular thighs on either side of your body flexed under your ministrations.

"Fuck," Heeseung groaned when the first thing you chose to do was to press a kiss to the head of it, wetting your lips with his pre-cum as you locked eyes with him. You gripped him at the base with both hands and coated his cock with more of your saliva, gliding your mouth along the sides of his length and sucking messily at his overflowing tip. 

He was so incredibly tasty.

"Sucking my cock perfectly," Heeseung ran his hands through your hair, doing you a favor by holding it back from your face. Grateful, you hollowed your mouth around his cock and sucked continuously, ignoring the ache in your jaw from his size, making sure to adequately accommodate him. His shaft slid against your face when you'd lick along his base and mouth at his balls, smearing saliva and pre-cum across your cheeks. 

"Like that, Hee?" You asked around a mouthful of him.

"Ah god— Yes, yes. Wrap your hand beneath my balls and fist my cock with your other hand. Good,” Heeseung reveled at your acquiescence; it showed through his commands and praises, "Suck a little harder; that's it. Show me what you've got, baby."

Heeseung could feel himself grow desperate when you continued to pump his cock with one hand and took his balls captive in your other grip, how you slurped and stretched your lips around them; holding his gaze all the while. Even with absolute self-control, he was slipping under your touch; every graze of your mouth seemed beyond his reality.

Anyone would slip, he reasoned, due to his adoration for you all that you were, from your humanizing faults to the few passions you held dear and everything in between.

But not just anyone could attain your favor as he did– and the darkest part of him wanted to ensure it stayed that way, regardless of who came before him and those who would try to come after.

Pushing the irritating thought to the back of his mind, Heeseung found himself enamored with the view he had of you between his thighs, your eyes glossy with lewd sounds spilling from your throat, pleasuring him with a vigor he knew he didn't deserve. It was officially his second favorite view next to being between your thighs, his face streaked with your cum while you convulsed in ecstasy. 

Mine.

Amid Heeseung's length occupying your mouth, he nudged you off his cock and dragged you up into his lap. 

"Enough of that," He gripped his flushed cock and swiped the tip of it teasingly along your sopping folds, "You're amazing baby, but I just wanna feel you like this. Wanna see your eyes roll back when you come from humping my cock. How's that sound?"

All you could do was nod eagerly, and make pathetic noises of agreement against his damp neck.

He's just as worked up as I am, but he somehow hides it better than me.

Heeseung let his soaked shaft fall against his abs, and then his hands were kneading into your ass, sliding your lower half against the underside of his hard cock. The head of it rubbed against your clit with each thrust, the knot in your core tightening more and more. 

"I want you to look at me when you come, ___."

Your nails dug into his chest, and you shut your eyes tight, feeling dizzier than ever. "No, I can't. That's too much…"

"I wasn't asking," He whispered lowly, nipping at the lobe of your ear.

When you lifted your head to look at him, Heeseung recognized the same helpless expression you wore on the dance floor. It was the one you'd put on during unwanted attention, precisely when overthinking got the best of you. 

"___, it's just me," He cradled your face in his hands and comforted you with a soft peck on your lips, ”It’s just you and me. Look...”

Obeying Heeseung, you watched the way you met each other’s hips in tandem, his red cock peeking out from between your folds with each messy thrust, your bouncing tits framing the perfect view of your deprived body.

“You’re so fucking sexy, baby,” Heeseung tipped your chin back up to look at him, “I’m about to come just from how good your pussy feels on top of me. The taste of your sweet cum nearly did me in, but here I am, letting you get off on me again. It’s driving me nuts—“

Heeseung’s brazen confession made you whimper, your muscles tensing up, “— But I think you love grinding on me, like I’m your big, personal teddy bear to get off on in secret. Is that all I am to you, ___?”

“N-no,” You shook your head and weakly denied his words out of shame, even while your thighs burned from rubbing your slit against his cock non-stop.

“No?” Heeseung had the gall to laugh, albeit breathlessly as he caressed your cheeks, “You’re so cute.”

Just as he saw your eyes start to shake and lose focus of him, Heeseung began to grind his hips deeply against yours, drawing out your orgasm with never-ending stimulation to your pulsing clit. The force of his thrusts was jarring but so perfect as you rolled your hips into him, smothering his cock with your pussy while he watched your lovely features contort into an even more euphoric expression. 

Heeseung just couldn't get enough of your rapturous moans, proud that they most definitely could be heard through the walls. He felt his impending release near just from you clawing at his sweat-stained skin, chasing his lips of your own accord.

"F-fuck—" You choked out when he continuously lifted and slammed you down against his hips despite you being sensitive, his rough fingers digging into your flesh, "Heeseung!"

In a heartbeat, Heeseung was overwhelmed, pure bliss fiercely invading his senses by force after such well delayed gratification. He hid his face against your shoulder with a tempered growl as hot cum shot against his damp chest and abs. 

To your satisfaction, Heeseung's release smeared into your stomach and inner thighs when you rocked into him despite trembling, helping him through his high. With how he held you so tightly against him, you felt like you'd almost burst against his chest, but he loosened his grip on you immediately once he realized his strength in the moment.

"Sorry," He huffed against your lips, "I’m sorry, baby, I thought I was holding back. You just feel so good…"

"It's okay," You swiped his damp hair back from his dazed features, pretty sure that you looked as out of it as he did, "You came a lot…"

With a hoarse laugh, he responded, "Yeah, guess who's fault that is?"

Heeseung's jaw went slack when you dipped your head to run your tongue up his chest to taste his sticky release, and you were immediately taken by his taste. It didn't help that you went so casually about it, swiping remnants of his cum off your lip with your thumb just to suckle it clean.

"... Whatever do you mean? I plead innocence."

God, so help him.

His mind sang three words over and over when his sight focused on your glowing face, but he withheld them, knowing all to well that you weren't ready to hear them.

So instead, he kissed you, for all it was worth, even though he knew it wasn't enough to make up for your past, the old wounds and fresh ones alike.

Still, he had to try.

He had to.

When you both emerged from the lounge and peeked into the main room, it was empty and quiet save for two workers that were on the night shift.

Jake had left, and you were relieved.

Jay was flipping up the stools of the bar so his co-worker could easily mop the floor. At the bar's edge, you spotted Heeseung's coat, your watered-down cocktails, and bags of food that Jay must've thoughtfully bagged for you.

How sweet… and embarrassing!

"Shit. Jay, I really appreciate you packing everything up for us," You slowly approached your belongings, the handsome bartender acknowledging you with a nod, "Um, can we close out with you and finish our drinks?"

"Sure thing, lov–" Jay's eyes darted to Heeseung at your side before he cleared his throat, "Sure thing."

Heeseung slid his card across the marble bar before you could pull out yours, and Jay swiftly took it over to the cash register on the opposite end.

"Hey," you glared up at him, "It was supposed to be my treat. This is what I work hard for."

"Well, the next one's all yours," he said just to quell you.

Heeseung moved his coat off one of the remaining two stools and took his seat facing you. You remained standing at the bar, a little too antsy about being judged by Jay and the employees to take a seat. Afterwards, you did your genuine best to clean the stains out of those luxurious sofas, but god forbid they put two and two together, and you'd never be able to show your face in this establishment again—

"___," Heeseung held his glass towards you, "Cheers."

Looks like you were the only one who was worried.

You forgot that you were starving and even more so after… all that. Drinking on an empty stomach was not the brightest idea, but you didn't want it to go to waste. With caution, you took your glass in hand and clinked it against his, the citrusy peppermint aroma wafting off the light emerald liquid.

You took a sip as Heeseung tried his drink. Minty indeed, but you refused to make the connection with the flavor of toothpaste.

"Verdict?" You asked him.

"It tastes good; sweet although it lost its fizz. I like it," Heeseung eyed the heavy swirl of deep purple beneath the floating opaque cream in his glass, a small grin growing on his face, "Tell me your psychological analysis on how this drink reminds you of me again…"

"Oh, you can forget it," You brushed him off when you knew what he was getting at and instead began to drain your cocktail clean. 

"Wait, let me try," He reached out, and you moved to hand him your drink. Instead, he gently took hold of your jaw and swiped his tongue past your lips, making your stomach flip as if the filth that took place in the past few hours didn't just happen.

"Mm–"

Heeseung pulled back ever so slightly, his voice dropping seductively, "I actually kind of like it. Reminds me of those fruity mints you'd feed me to keep me awake during classes."

"I'm sure that doesn't bring back the greatest memories. Still, you remember the little things, don’t you?"

"Can't help it when it comes to you."

Someone cleared their throat and startled you.

"Hey, thanks for coming guys. Have a great night," Jay returned Heeseung's card but also had something to whisper to you, "Jake covered half of the bill."

Your brows rose, "Jake did? You know Jake?"

"Yeah, he's your roommate, isn't he? I sort of just found that out tonight; we're friends. He said it was to pay you back for something he owed you," Jay said simply.

You nodded dumbly. 

"By the way, this goes for both of you guys,” Jay addressed Heeseung, “Don't mind that silver-haired guy's shenanigans, it's just our dumbass friend’s way of stirring things up on a night out. I only oblige because I get paid."

So, Jay just expressed he thinks you and Heeseung were more than you initially let on, but Jay still didn’t seem to regard differently than normal… Did that mean Jake kept quiet about you two?

"Oh, no worries…” you unintentionally drew out your words while searching for your thoughts, "Did Jake head home a while ago?"

Jay's eyes shifted to Heeseung momentarily, noticing the man's rather impassive expression, "… Yeah, I think he decided to stay over at Sunghoon's place."

You nodded, "I see. Well, thank you for everything, Jay.”

"Thanks," Heeseung said to Jay, with one hand full of bags and the other slipping into yours. 

"… Of course. See you guys around."

This time Heeseung saw you home, the entire way.

You felt the alcohol hit quickly during the Uber ride; usually, it'd take a few drinks, but since you were on an empty stomach, it affected you quite a bit. Besides the tiredness in your muscles a calmness came over you, and you couldn't stop staring at Heeseung along the way.

When Heeseung noticed, he found it amusing but didn't try to start anything with you. He just stared back momentarily and squeezed your knee, leaving his hand there to gently caress your skin. 

It was hard to leave him when you found yourself staring at the door to your apartment, keys in hand.

"It's late…" You stated, and Heeseung looked surprised when he saw your sweet eyes inviting him in. 

Lord, was he tempted to.

He had inkling that you were more to Jake than he first thought, and there wasn't a single part of him that sat right with it. For tonight, at the very least, he could leave you in peace knowing your likely-to-be drunk roommate wasn't in.

Heeseung decided to be forthright with you, "It is late… but if you invite me in tonight, I can't guarantee what might happen."

Even though his words were promising, he was right to warn you. There was only one thing left to do after messing around with him and this wasn’t about having protection or not… What were you thinking? 

Slightly disappointed at yourself, you nodded and slid your hand from his grasp, but he caught it— held it.

"I had an amazing time with you," Heeseung began, "But it almost felt like I didn’t catch up with you enough. You know what I mean?”

Ah, beyond making out, going down on each other and sweet talking… Honestly, with the way things had been going, I’m not really sure if that could’ve been helped. 

“I do,” you said.

“Then are you down to do this again, soon?”

“So like, do what exactly?” You giggled and lifted a brow at him, “Catch up more?”

Heeseung smiled at your tipsiness, “Yes, but how about I take you out to an amusement park or something like that and we have a day to ourselves. You down?” 

“Hee, I haven’t gone to one in so long! Obviously, I'm down.” You bounced excitedly on your toes. 

“Yeah? I’ll ask you again in the morning, alright?”

“Mhmm,” With the alcohol clouding your thoughts, you weren’t sure whether to pull him in for a kiss, a hug or both.

Heeseung being both a tease and gentleman, decided for you and pressed a kiss to your cheek that lingered with heat. 

Damn.

Feeling cheated out, you pressed your body flush against his and hung your arms around his neck under the guise of a hug. You sensed Heeseung tense up and heard his sharp inhale, knowing he could feel every soft contour of your body because you could feel his. He embraced you against his chest— tightly— and released you just in time before you lost it.

Heeseung looked down at you; his eyes heavy and dilated, “Good night, ___.”

Oops.

"Night, Heeseung… get home safely."

"Thanks. Don't forget to eat," He said over his shoulder, holding his half of the food in tow.

"Oh, I won't,” you smiled.

Once you slipped into your dark apartment, you set down the bags to lock up with a sigh. 

The lock clicked in place, then suddenly, you were being pressed up against the door by a warm, hard body behind you, a whiff of hard liquor hitting you first before the intoxicating scent you knew to be—

"J-Jake?"

His arms squeezed you tightly just beneath your breasts, locking you against him. Jake’s soft breath tickled your neck as he buried his face against your shoulder.  

"Missed you, ___."

 –

AUTHOR’S NOTE CONT.

Big thanks to those of you who have been waiting for this and spurring me on to get this up through compliments and feedback! To preface this post, I'll be taking a little break from this series to work on some other ideas I've been thinking of, but how fast I get back to writing this depends on what you guys are wanting too. I might do an 800 follower celebration and take requests also, so stay tuned (I'm 6 followers away lol)!

I've always pictured this to be a slow-burn and tagged it as so since part two. Between this chapter and the series finale– Jake has an obstacle course to get through before he can win MC's heart. Let's be honest, the boy needs to suffer a little bit of what he put MC through. Likewise, MC has to sort her shit out.

Also, it turns out a lot of you are Hee biased with Jake as your wrecker based on the survey I put out a while ago (just like me hehe). I wonder if some of you are still team Jake after this chapter or has your allegiance changed in IOU? Or both?

Please let me know if you enjoyed it and want more asap or are more interested in new AU’s. Feedback from you has proven to keep me motivated! 🖤⚰️

Lucky you if you like strawberries and cream; if not that's okay because playboy Jake does. I needed to show Heeseung some love, so he makes an appearance in a little suggestive scene. He's also the perfect sweetheart when Jake's being a little sour patch.

As always, like/reblog this fic and leave me some feedback if you enjoyed it and want more. ⚰️ (If you get the quid pro quo reference I'm snickering)

TAGLIST (If I missed you hmu)

@skzenhalove, @axartia

Part I, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Masterlist

© 2022, Heart and Fangs. All rights reserved. Do not translate or post anywhere.

Jake had broken his number one rule– no kissing. 

He’d upheld it for the longest time, ever since that incident.

Unfortunately, he was already feeling the repercussions of breaking his most important rule. 

He’d thrown all self-control out the window when you suddenly called him out on his bullshit, deceiving you in order to gain your attention. It just had to be right after you unexpectedly expressed such a vulnerable side of yourself in front of him; an asshole move on his part.

Although, he’d sensed if anyone would’ve challenged his lifestyle; it’d be you. When you had yanked him close by the collar and questioned his pattern of living. When you seemingly expressed you wanted nothing to do with his proposal of sex– and yet managed to come to a momentary compromise that only left him wanting more of you.

The taste of you sealed his fate.

When he nearly kissed you he knew he was at his tipping point– the fact that you’d driven him to that meant trouble and he felt pulled in two opposite directions. The need to choose between the two– no strings attached and the desire for commitment– seemed like impending doom, and that was as terrifying as it was strange. He still didn’t know how he’d react when he'd come face to face with you the next morning, no escape from your presence as his roommate.  

Once you disappeared behind your door, Jake gave into his urges. He shoved his shirt over his abdomen and slid his hand down the front of his waistband to tug at his leaking cock. His vision blurred as he wrapped his fingers around the base of it; the familiar weight felt hot and heavy within his hand– the same one that still had the heady scent of your cum on it.

His pace quickly delved into an irregular rhythm as he chased his high; absolutely soaked to the touch from putting you in such a state.

Fuck, he already felt like an even bigger mess than you had looked when you came on his fingers, your sweet pussy gushing uncontrollably. It tore him up from the inside.

He wished you had stayed, pulled him down hard against your trembling body, and felt him up through his sweatpants. Let him slide in between your tight bare thighs until he came onto your stomach with a deep groan.

Or maybe change your mind and allow him to fuck you into the cushions while you dug your nails into his back, your insides tightening around his bare cock, milking him dry completely.

Jake being all too familiar with post-nut clarity knew that after coming down from your high, you would probably choke him out before he even got the chance to think about taking you like that.

Jake’s lower lip slipped between his teeth to stifle a moan.

Fuck, I wish.

You were just down the hall and he wondered if you’d fallen asleep or were listening to him as he furiously got himself off. Why did he suddenly feel shy about letting you hear his moans when he was so unabashedly loud during countless other nights spent with girls? Especially when he was groaning in your ear just moments before, demanding that you call his real name while you came. 

Maybe it’s because in your absence he knew you didn’t really want him that way– not in the way he wanted you.

Unrequited feelings… When has that ever been an issue for him?

He didn’t want to think about the drastic change in your shared dynamic. Would you ignore him the next morning and act like nothing happened? Would he be okay with that– He’d have to be, right? After all, it’s not like you two had an agreement...

Jake’s head lolled back against the couch; he was panting as his hands worked at his stiff cock, twisting at just the right angle and kneading his swollen balls, wishing it was you ruining him instead. He imagined your hands on him, his thighs spread wide, and every muscle in his body tensed with hot pleasure. 

Jaeyun…

The agonizing fantasy of you bouncing on his lap with that beautifully spellbound expression of yours, insides squeezing his cock while your hands wrapped around his throat sent him over the edge. He fisted his cock rapidly, desperate for his release, but more so for your presence.

Jake's hips canted up into his tight grip as his orgasm overwhelmed his mind and body with sweet, fleeting pleasure, his cum staining his sweat-slickened skin.

His tongue darted out to taste iron on his lips; he’d bitten them so hard to keep from making a sound, but your name was like a desperate chant in his thoughts.

He hadn’t jerked himself off in a while, usually didn’t have to. An odd sense of shame overcame him; Jake hoped you were fast asleep, but he was far from sated. After all, how embarrassing was it for a fuck boy to finally get a taste of his own medicine?

There were three things your body immediately craved upon waking;

One: A shower.

Two: Food.

Three: …

You kicked off your covers and sat up to press your forehead against your palm; refusing to acknowledge the third desire– which happened to be the strongest craving of them all and involved a certain somebody.

Having fallen asleep completely nude last night, you shivered and reached for your phone to check the time. You had about an hour before Jake came home from his morning run. Great, plenty of time to take care of your basic human needs and craft your perfect plan to avoid him for the rest of your life.

No, you were not being dramatic.

You were quick to throw your soiled laundry into the washing machine and hop into the shower to scrub down, washing away all remnants of the night’s activities. Steam rolled off your body as you frantically lathered your hair and rinsed off. You hissed upon brushing your fingers over your breasts, and to your horror realized they were sore and tender due to Jake’s merciless treatment. 

You slapped your cheeks before your thoughts could roam.

Stop thinking about him!

Next, you planned to make a snack and then lock yourself in your room. Or would it be better to slip out of the house and run some grocery errands while Jake was still out? Your brain spun with the memories of Jake, or rather Jaeyun… 

Jaeyun. You hadn’t known that he even had a given name. 

You gulped nervously at the memory of him whispering sweet nothings into your ear while his deft fingers massaged your aching clit. The fact that he let you kiss him, and the way he kissed you back, and didn't let up until you forced him.

You shut off the shower and stepped out to glance at yourself in the mirror and take a breath; you hadn't given yourself a chance to really understand what had happened earlier that night.

Eyes honing in on a faint red mark across your throat; you distinctly remember Jake scraping his teeth against your skin when you came, his name on your lips. Your fingers ran over your throat.

You’d have to act normal if you ran into him. Act like nothing happened, even though much more had than you initially counted on. The favor he owed you was way overpaid for, and that was that.

You needed something to ground you– and you knew just the person to call.

Wrapping a towel around your body, you shuffled your damp feet on the bathroom mat to dry off. You slipped on your slippers before collecting your laptop from your desk and heading into the kitchen. Warily, you eyed the time on the screen.

50 minutes to spare, doing good.

Haphazardly, you set up your laptop on the counter then pulled up a screen to call a friend who dubbed you two birds of a feather. While the call rang you quickly switched to another window to play some music on low, then you turned around to search the kitchen for the ingredients to make one of your favorite snacks. 

“...Hey, ___.”

“Hey, Hee!” You called over your shoulder, reaching in the back of the fridge for the container of strawberries and tub of greek yogurt. They both felt light in your hands, nearly empty as you slid both ingredients onto the counter and opened up the pantry. “How are you?”

“...I’m well, just enjoying my morning, lounging in bed for once.”

“Oh. Did the studio have you cancel dance classes for the time being?” You snatched up the brown sugar, a couple of bowls, and picked out a spoon. You quickly got to mixing, swaying slightly to the music.

“Yeah, temporarily since something pretty bad is going around and over half the students got sick just last week. I’m feeling fine, luckily,” he reassured, “As much as I love teaching and interacting with them, time-off is great when I can get it.”

Your friend was not the biggest socialite, but you just knew he was popular among his students. After all, he wasn’t that much older than them being their instructor, and he was an incredibly talented performer.

“Good, your rest is well deserved. And I get that, I have a similar ultimatum at my place right now, trying to avoid getting sick,” you didn’t mention how your roommate was in objection to it.

“That’s smart… and that’s also too bad.”

“Why?”

The sharp scent of greek yogurt contrasting the sweet aroma of brown sugar filled your nostrils; the dip would be divine when eaten with strawberries.

“Since I have some time off, I’d have liked to hang out with you.”

Surprise flitted across your features.

“Really? I’m not sure some of your students would like that–”, You began but your towel unraveled and nearly fell past your waist to the floor due to you rummaging around.

“Christ,” you caught what you could with your flailing limbs. You deposited the bowl and spoon down on the counter, then gathered the towel to retuck the fabric around your chest.

You heard a small chuckle come from him. “You do know your camera is on, right?”

Your eyes bulged as you scrambled to minimize the music streaming app to pull up the call screen that revealed your towel-clad body in the corner window. Heeseung wore an amused expression that he was trying to cover up by hiding his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“Oh my god,” you slammed the button to cut off your webcam.

The door to the apartment clicked open, and you flinched.

No. This wasn’t supposed to be happening; according to your calculations, you had plenty of time left until Jake was supposed to get back. Did he go out for a run earlier than usual?

Jake entered the flat, particularly breathless and flush in the face; however, his usual bright disposition was replaced with a rather stoic expression. Until his sights landed on you.

He looked just as shocked to see you, for different reasons. You watched him slowly take in your figure.

Your heart slammed in your chest as you fought the urge to grab your laptop and run back into your room– but you forced yourself to simply breathe. 

Remember to act normal.

In a millisecond, you turned your webcam back on just to have Heeseung’s presence distract you from Jake’s sudden appearance. “Hey Heeseung, I’m– I’m sorry you had to see that,” your eyes were glued to the screen as you noticed Jake’s silhouette go still in your peripheral vision.

Then Heeseung heard the door slam shut off-screen; you jumped, shooting an apologetic look at him. 

Heeseung opened his mouth and then hesitated, eyes looking off to the side. Then they snapped back to his webcam, as though he were looking you in the eye, a mischievous smile gracing his face.

“Don’t be. You’re beautiful,” he said.

Your surroundings faded at that moment; Heeseung’s brown eyes seemed to have grown a shade darker than before. When the start of a snarky response died in your throat, Heeseung gave you a wink.

All you could feel was heat, in your cheeks, across your neck, everywhere.

“I—“

“What are you making to eat?”

You were thankful for the change in conversation, “Strawberries and this amazing brown sugar cream my mother used to make. She usually used sour cream, but Greek yogurt is the more healthy version, I suppose.”

Anxiety controlled your every move, no thanks to Heeseung pulling a fast one on you and Jake stalking about the room somewhere.

You heard the padding of shoes approaching, then the sound of the fridge opening.

Frantic, you focused on Heeseung as he leaned back against his headboard, his dark, messy hair cascading over his eyes. The curve of his neck stood out more, as did his collarbone peeking out from under his shirt on display. Your breath caught at how alluring he looked despite probably just having woken up.

Feeling embarrassed for being caught by him in a towel let alone in the nude was an understatement, but you tried to roll with it.

“Strawberries and cream sound delicious.”

You replied too quickly, “I’ll make some next time we hang out.”

He hummed in approval, “I’d love that.”

An all too familiar hand abruptly reached around your waist to steal one of your strawberries, causing you to stumble backward into the man you most wanted to avoid. You stiffened, overwhelmed by his familiar scent– a fresh aroma with a subtle underlying layer of sweet musk and sweat. All Jake. 

His warm hand on the small of your back steadied you, but you felt apprehensive at his touch. Unbeknownst to you, Jake took note of the way your chest rose and fell at a rapid rate. 

“Did you finish the Greek yogurt?” Jake’s eyes darted to the screen of your laptop, then he dipped the strawberry into the bowl of cream you’d been overmixing.

“I did,” you turned, eyes flickering up to read his face. 

Sweat trickled down his temples and the fluttering pulse at his neck; he looked like he pushed himself harder than usual. You really hadn’t counted on speaking to him so soon and you could already sense the change in your interactions; would he be indifferent?

Jake bit into the strawberry, his tongue catching the juice and cream on his bottom lip. 

The way that same tongue laved around your aching breasts, drawing heated moans from your throat. To your dismay, your nipples hardened against your towel.

“Not a bad combo,” He murmured, tossing the stem into the sink. Just before brushing by you, his eyelids lowered as he took you in from head to toe– sending you a heated look that left your mouth agape.

You heard Heeseung snort.

Recover. This fucker is gonna give Heeseung the wrong idea!

Once Jake disappeared around the corner, you turned back to your laptop.

“My roommate is on a bender,” you shook your head, leaning on your palm, “Our quarantine deal is driving him a bit crazy.”

“Right... What about you? How are you feeling?” His voice was rather terse. 

Oh boy, I’m going to have to set things straight with these two.

“Fine. It’s not that drastic of a change for me. I guess,” you drummed your nails against the counter, “It’d be nice to hang out once the flu season blows over, hopefully soon.”

Heeseung fell quiet for a moment.

“I wouldn’t mind trying out one of those speakeasies you always talk about.”

Your head shot up, “Really?”

“Yeah, I mean if they’re as intimate and chill, as you describe them, I’m down. You know me.”

You were tickled that he remembered when you shared about your solo speakeasy adventures with him on your last call. Despite your jittery nerves, warmth bloomed in your chest at the possibility of him joining you. Company could be bothersome at times, but you knew Heeseung would make your night with his jokes and teasing.

You glanced down and felt a smile pull at your lips, “I’ll send you a calendar invite then. I know a lowkey one with an incredible interior downtown; you’ll love it. A Saturday evening work for you?”

“Yeah, I think I can spare a few brain cells for one night if it's with you. Hey, ___?”

“Yes?”

“Wait for me okay? We’ll talk soon," he watched you nod.

“Of course,” you watched him sign off, struck by his… you couldn’t place a finger on it.

This conversation with Heeseung left you feeling desired, somehow. You felt grateful he handled that embarrassing moment between you two with grace and humor. And to top it off he called you beautiful.

I’ll be damned. 

Heeseung seemed pretty conservative all along, when he wasn’t performing a sultry number that gave you butterflies that is. You always considered dancers to be like actors in a way, and he always put on a show.

While Heeseung was an incredibly patient guy and seemed to have a knack for teasing you, he was also sharp; you wondered if he’d have the capacity to handle Jake and his mischief. Hopefully, you’d never have to find out.

Gathering your bowls of cream and strawberries onto a plate while tucking your laptop under the crook of your arm, you headed into the hallway to hibernate in your bedroom. You tossed the laptop onto your bed and then set down your plate, glancing into the empty restroom across the hallway. Steam covered the mirrors and the scent of Jake’s shampoo filled the air. He must’ve retreated back to his room after rinsing off.

You sure left him high and dry last night, didn't you? Part of you felt a little regretful, but then again, you didn't owe him a thing.

You got dressed in a comfy sweatsuit set then rummaged underneath your sheets in search of your phone. After a minute of looking under your bed and on your desk it was nowhere to be found. 

What the hell? I definitely left it charging on my bed when I woke up this morning.

You hadn’t used it in the restroom, nor in the kitchen as you were on the laptop at that time. You stared at your floor before realization dawned on you.

Did Jake…?

You wouldn’t have put it past him to pull such a childish prank on you. You snatched up your fruit plate and stomped over to Jake’s room; your hands needed something to grip while you confronted him. Why couldn't he just leave you alone?

There wasn’t a single cell in your body that wanted to talk to Jake, not because last night was terrible– but because it wasn't. Your cheeks felt warm just thinking about how he managed to make you feel like time didn’t exist during that short period of pleasure. How he managed to make you succumb to the very things you were trying to avoid. 

Jake’s childish actions angered you, then he pacified your anger with his touch and his words. He left you wanting more, but it seemed by the end of the night it was more than you could manage at the time. That still hadn’t changed; you were planning on giving him space for your sake and his.

You found yourself outside his door and stood there for a good minute, sweat gathering in your palms, making your plate awfully slippery by the second. 

Chill out. This is Jake Sim, your himbo roommate. 

You just knew he had swiped your phone, so you pressed your ear to the door, listening for any movement on the other side. Nothing. You raised your fist to knock but then thought of a better way to get back at him.

Fuck knocking.

“Jake,” you called his name in warning.

You swung open the door, eyes landing on Jake’s bare torso, then the blur of his hand as he untucked it from behind him. He wore a pair of sweatpants and sat lazily on the edge of his bed, looking up at you expectantly. His dark hair was soaking onto the towel wrapped around his shoulders. It was difficult to look him in the eye.

“Hey. Not even a knock?”

Right off the bat, he didn’t feel like his usual self.

You scanned his relatively organized room with hawk eyes, “Where’s my phone?”

He shrugged, tilting his head, “I don’t know, am I supposed to keep track of your phone?"

“It’s not where I last left it and I looked everywhere. Did you take it?”

You furrowed your brows as he ruffled his hair with his towel and tossed it onto his chair.

“Now why would I do that? That’d be a pretty juvenile thing of me to do.”

“We both know it's something you'd do,” you accused.

Jake knew you were trying to be intimidating but you couldn’t have looked less menacing to him in your oversized sweats, clutching onto your cute little platter of fruit. Did you think hiding your body from him would make him want you any less? Did you think it would stave off his desire for you?

Ever since he walked in on you in the kitchen, he was having trouble keeping his hands to himself. Currently, Jake wanted nothing more than to pull you under his sheets and nestle close to you, maybe let his hands roam lazily beneath your sweatshirt and lower if you let him.

But after the way things ended abruptly last night, there was no chance he’d be able to easily get past those walls of yours. Not with your temperamental track record. Based on the way you were fretting about in the kitchen when he came home, he knew he’d have to work for it– work smarter that is.

“We both know you wouldn’t be standing here in my room if I hadn’t.”

Your eyes fell to the floor. He wasn’t wrong.

You were still processing the emotions about what you allowed to transpire between you two. That didn’t mean he had the right to go around hiding your belongings though.

“So this is what you resort to? Playing games and hiding my phone instead of just speaking with me?” You scowled, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“You tell me, you sound like you’re on a roll."

“Shut up, you're not being funny. Where’s my phone?”

Jake hand shot out, palm flipped upwards. He raised his brow at your plate, beckoning with his fingers, “Quid pro quo, ___.”

He’s proposing to give your phone back for your food? And the sheer audacity to quote one of your favorite movies at the same time...

You shook your head, shielding your strawberries and cream from him. “What? Why do you always want my snacks?”

Honestly, you couldn’t have cared less about Jake wanting to hoard your strawberries for himself but you were at a loss of words concerning his antics.

Jake dropped his hand onto his thigh and leaned back onto his other palm; the damp skin of his chest and abs were intentionally on full display for you. His legs spread ever so slightly as he inclined his chin, eyes watchful of how you struggled to keep from gawking at him.

The momentary silence was daunting.

“Because it’s the closest I can get to tasting you.”

Your stomach dropped at his admittance.

He enjoyed stunning you into silence every time– reveled in it based on that smug smile. It was such a forward answer, one that you should’ve expected.

“Last night was a one-time thing, Jake. You’re used to that, aren’t you?”

Just as quickly, that smirk fell. For some reason, that stung coming from you. Jake leaned forward onto his knees, fingers threading together in a tight grip.

“What’s stopping you?”

“Why would I make another deal with you? It’s my fucking phone you’re hiding and this is my fucking food,” you stated.

God, you were beginning to sound like a child even in your own ears. At this point, you were well aware this situation wasn’t about the strawberries or your phone. You wished that at its core, it was.

The whole scenario suddenly felt like déjà vu. Would your relationship with Jake always consist of ridiculous arrangements? Even now, you stood on thin ice; there was no such thing as ‘trustworthiness’ in any sense of the word when dealing with a flighty fuck boy, and Jake wasn’t helping his own case.

“Don't you still need to send that invite off?” Bitterness tinged the edge of his voice.

He'd overheard you and decided to play your game.

Your lips pressed into a thin line at his leveraging of the situation, once again. You were this close to spilling your food onto Jake, but that would’ve been a waste.

Decidedly you went straight for the jugular.

“Are you that frustrated I didn’t stay and let you fuck me last night?” 

Jake glanced up at you, that conflicted look of his making a reappearance, “What? No. No, I–”

“Don’t lie to me.”

You dipped a perfectly red strawberry into your bowl of cream, finally tasting the perfect combination of tart and sugary goodness. You took your time chewing, but you weren't able to enjoy it, feeling anger well up in your chest as you approached Jake.

“That’s it, isn’t it?” You paused. “Or are you regretting our kiss? If that’s the case then good news for the both of us: it didn’t mean shit. We can get that out of the way.”

Something you couldn’t quite place changed in his expression, but he was quick to conceal it.

On the other hand, could Jake be jealous of your friend?

The thought had crossed your mind earlier when Jake interjected himself between yours and Heeseung’s conversation, not even acknowledging him. They've never met each other, and while Heeseung knew a bit about Jake, it’s not like he was always the topic of your conversations. You didn’t really want to entertain the thought of what that might mean for you and your roommate.

There was no basis for him to harbor any feelings towards you, but it was still a possibility. However, there was a higher likelihood of Jake acting out in frustration because he wasn’t able to stick his cock in you last night. That was much more believable.

Jake unfolded his hands and leaned back as you neared.

You shoved his knees further apart with your leg in annoyance, purposefully invading his personal space the way he invaded your privacy.

“Are you frustrated? Is poor little Jaeyun’s cock aching?”

Jake hung his head low, exhaling heavily, “Careful, ___.”

You bit off another cream-covered strawberry. “I don’t need to be careful about anything. Even if I’m around a selfish brat with a fragile ego.” 

Jake’s length twitched in his sweatpants, nearly causing you to drop your plate on him. Did he know that you noticed?

He looked up at you from under his thick lashes, licking at his lips, “You should be.”

Shit, he did.

While his hands remained at his side, the way he shifted his hips was telling. How his eyes roved over your body caused your thighs to squeeze together, reminding you of what had taken place just hours before.

“Jake,” your nails dug into a strawberry, “Don’t fucking tell me what to do.”

Jake’s hand sneaked over the front of his pants to shamelessly palm himself through the fabric, the veins in his hands incredibly prominent as he did so. “Why not? You seemed to enjoy it when I did.” 

You were completely taken aback at his behavior until something in you snapped.

You slammed your heel down, just missing Jake's crotch, taking sick pleasure in the way he grunted in surprise. He gripped your leg to balance himself. “Jesus, ___–”

What gave him the right to act like this, all because you asked him for a kiss that just so happened to lead to something more for a single night? Jake allowing you to kiss him didn’t prove that he wasn’t anything but the player you knew him to be; he could've been lying about his weird little rule on kissing. You saw the gesture more so as a ploy to entice you and to allow him to have his way with you. Perhaps even make you feel special.

You weren't falling for it, but his mixed vibes were throwing you for a loop. Maybe you shouldn't have tried to run away from him in the first place and given into your anxiety about the uncertainty of the situation. In the back of your mind, you knew it would've been smarter to approach him first about his intentions than allow things to escalate to the point that they were at now.

But everything was moving at a mile a minute, and truthfully, communication was never your strong suit either.

If you were being honest, your first encounter with him had awakened something in you, something that had always been there but never had an outlet to express itself. Dark and demanding, it seeped into your actions, in the way you took what you wanted from Jake the night before, the same way you desired to do so right now.

You were pissed that he was having such an effect on you– you needed to take back some semblance of control.

“I’m beyond fucking annoyed with you,” You slid the platter off the side onto the mattress, and shoved at his chest, “The gall you have to get hard right now! You know what you seem like, Jake? Like the type that’d cum your pants just from getting pussy shoved in your face. ”

Jake’s cock throbbed at your words. “Try me.”

His response was quick and predictable. You gripped his jaw and he showed no resistance. In fact, he leaned into your touch.

“You’re serious. Why are you like this? I thought we had a moment yesterday, but like last night, you piss me off and lure me in just to offer yourself up to be used. Do you really think this is the best way to earn my trust?” your searched his face for answers.

“Let me make it up to you." Jake slid his palms up to your thighs, squeezing them reverently before hooking his fingers into the waistband of your underwear and sweats.

“Such a one-track mind; sex is all you know, isn’t it?” You tugged on his scalp in warning, drawing a deliciously small groan from him, “Just my sweatpants. If you manage to get me wet enough, maybe I’ll think about letting you fuck me with your tongue.”

The reserved part of you was a bit surprised at your own daring words, but you hid your uncertainty with the pretense of dominance you’d only barely exercised during your first encounter with Jake. It was practically non-existent in terms of your sexual life prior to that. You were also aware Jake could flip the dynamic at any moment if he so desired, though you hoped to get away with as much as you could.

Jake gnawed on his lip, eager to have you calling his name again sooner than later, “Alright.”

“Not just alright,” you admonished him.

He recalled you being satisfied with how he addressed you last night, suddenly feeling giddy.

“Yes ma’am,” he amended demurely, pressing a kiss just under your navel.

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach at the sensation of his lips on your skin again; the rush of power was addicting. He wore a docile expression, and you wondered just how long that’d last.

His teeth caught hold of the string of your sweatpants, and he pulled back slowly, unraveling the tie at your waist, peering up into your eyes. At that moment, Jake looked terribly adorable; you couldn’t help but run your fingers through his hair.

You hated him for it.

In one swift motion, he left you in your underwear and sweatshirt, already dizzy with the thought of you riding his face and getting the chance to taste you again.

Before Jake let you shove him onto his back he caught your hand, the one you hadn't realized was sticky with strawberry juice. “May I?”

You slowly nodded and Jake’s hot tongue immediately darted out to lap at the dried juices on the delicate skin of your wrist, running over your pulse in a way that had your heart racing. You gasped, unable to help the blood that rushed to your face and between your thighs at the sounds of him slurping at your knuckles. The sensation of his heated mouth sweetly sucking at your delicate fingertips made your knees weak.

The sight reminded you of the way he sucked your cum off of his fingers so shamelessly. You could feel your body buzzing with excitement, becoming incredibly sensitive to the touch.

He rolled his pink tongue between the crevice of your middle and index finger with a flick, dark eyes glinting with mischief.

Realizing what he was playing at, you pushed him onto his elbows and climbed on top of his waist, “That’s enough.” Your clit was tingling.

"Can I touch you more?"

"No... No, I don't think I'll let you."

His voice lowered, "Please, you know I'll make you feel so good. You can use me for whatever you’d like…”

Jake saw the way your nipples hardened under your sweatshirt just from his words; he was counting on it. Still, you wore an unamused expression.

"Prove to me that you can be a good boy; use only your hands to massage my tits until I say so. Think you can manage that?"

His eyes lit up. "Yes ma’am."

You leaned over him, making yourself comfortable on his stomach. "Get to it."

He ran his large hands along your waist, all the way up to the swell of your breasts, gathering the fabric of your sweatshirt higher over your chest. He brought the edge of your sweatshirt up to your mouth for you to hold between your teeth. After a moment, you decided to grant his wish.

"You're fucking beautiful," he sighed, pleased with how easily your nipples pebbled at the insistent circling of his thumbs, “I did miss you last night, ___.”

His words caused you to think of what might've gone down if you'd stayed. You shook your head in warning, mouth stuffed with your shirt.

Don't bring that up.

Jake smirked up at you, continuing to obediently fondle your breasts, his touch growing more and more insistent by the second. He firmly squeezed your mounds with just the right amount of pressure, kneading them in one direction, and then the other, your sensitive nipples rolling under the warmth of his palms, “You got so swollen at my touch, using me the way you did, and the way you will...”

“Mm,” you were beginning to melt under his touch. Your eyes closed, preparing to give yourself a mental pep-talk. Already, slick was beginning to drip from your folds.

Remember, you are pissed at him and you’re trying to teach him a lesson that he absolutely deserves.

That was a bit difficult to do when you were unintentionally gagged and enduring the ministrations of a very experienced playboy, wasn’t it? At least it was self-imposed, somewhat.

Jake was practically watering at the mouth, but while his eyes bore into your body, he was monitoring your responses. He always seemed to be, even when you weren’t aware.

You watched his tongue wet his lips as he gave you a knowing look. His hands inched up the smooth skin of your back, pulling you down even closer. Your breath caught as he tugged the saliva-soaked fabric out of your mouth so you could speak; he gathered it tightly and tucked it in so it stayed in place above your chest.

“You seem like you want me to use something else,” his breath ghosted over your aching breasts, “Want me to guess again?”

Without hesitation, your hand closed around his throat and you felt him swallow thickly. “Why don’t you refrain from assuming and ask nicely; then I’ll tell you whether or not I want you to.”

Shit.

Jake squeezed his thighs together, the bulge in his sweatpants proving to be a bigger issue for him than he thought– boy, were you getting to him in ways he hadn't anticipated. “Forgive me.”

“Couldn’t have just asked for forgiveness the moment I walked into your room, huh?”

Heat flooded his cheeks, and his cock, “I’m sorry, ___. I just–”

You fed Jake your breast, “You're going to suck on my tits until I say so; show me just how sorry you are, Jake.”

Instantly, his lips hungrily wrapped around your breast, like he’d been waiting all along for you to give him permission. It hadn’t even been a full day but you missed how diligently he worshipped your body.

His large hands squeezed your breasts together, allowing him to swirl his tongue in loose figures eights over both your taut nipples. 

A shaky moan escaped your throat, signaling Jake of your immense pleasure. “Fuck, yes,” you praised.

You began to roll your damp core into his abdomen, making him wish you were sat just a little lower down, right over his sore cock. Patience was a virtue that you were forcing him to exercise.

He split his attention between your breasts and began to harshly suck at the one you first fed him, tongue flicking back and forth over your rosy nipple. The intense sensation made you hiss; his teeth would leave a love mark, but you were slowly growing accustomed to his insistence, as Jake demanded more and more of you. 

“Your tits are so perfect for my mouth,” he whispered against your glistening skin, “Can you imagine how good it’ll feel on that sweet little clit of yours?”

Your core clenched at the thought; based on the way he was working on your chest, you had a hunch.

Jake kneaded your neglected breast and teasingly swirled his tongue just around the areola, hooded eyes taking in your captivatingly desperate expression. Everything about your body screamed that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you, from the grinding of your hips to your trembling breath and the heat of your skin.

He indulged you, messily laving his tongue back and forth over the center of your breast, then he encircled your nipple with his wet lips, taking more and more of you into his mouth with each tenacious suck.

Another moan spilled from your throat, and your fingers grasped at the sheets in pure desperation as you shook in pleasure. You didn’t know it was possible, but you felt like you were right on the edge.

“Jake, stop!”

He pulled off your breast with a wet smack, shaking his head in defiance. “Don’t tell me to stop,” he huffed. His grip tightened behind your thighs, pulling you over his chest, "Please, wanna make you come so, so badly."

You wanted to retort but instead, you ignored him and calmed yourself, not wanting to come right then and there merely from the way Jake toyed with your breasts.

For Jake, your weight was comforting atop his shoulders and he wanted nothing more than for you to feel just as comfortable when you rode his face into oblivion. Though, he sensed you were a bit hesitant by the way you hovered over him, uncertain despite your initial big talk and attitude. 

How did one not crush a person’s skull or snap their neck by sitting on their face?

That looming thought coupled with the fact that you’d never experienced someone going down on you caused you to suddenly overthink the process.

Jake saw the cogs in your brain turning and wanted to laugh. His hand caressed your thigh, an unexpectedly reassuring gesture that pulled you out of your head.

“My neck’s not that long, baby girl, but guess what is?” You watched him stick his tongue out teasingly with a devious expression, the image of Jake's face trapped between your thighs forever committed to memory. "C'mon, ride my face. You're not going to break me."

You rolled your eyes, despite the moistness gathering between your legs. “I know that– Shit!”

Jake gripped your hips and tugged you down, nuzzling his nose against your clothed pussy. Fuck, you smelled heavenly; he already knew you tasted just as wonderful too.

“You’re gonna enjoy this,” Jake pressed a kiss to your clit through your panties, then licked a stripe against your core, gauging your reaction. His gut feeling that you were inexperienced with oral was confirmed when your hips jerked violently at the sensation.

Then again you could’ve just been sensitive, but that didn’t mean Jake would go easy on you. He locked your hips in place as he continued to lap messily, his saliva and your ever-growing wetness causing your panties to stick against your lower lips. Your plan was starting to backfire but you fought to remain in control, of yourself at least.

He lightly smacked your ass when you refused to stop squirming.

“Relax. If this is too much for you, do you want me to stop?”

“D-Don’t even think about it,” you warned.

Jake’s hands roamed over your curves appreciatively. “Then be a good girl and let me make out with your pussy."

"Why say it like that–"

In response, his tongue insistently traced around your mound, then mapped out the intricacy of your folds, leading to moist kisses on your clit. The fact that he was able to find your sweet spots through your panties with his mouth was still impressive, although he had no problem doing so with his fingers. The more he stimulated you, the more your slick seeped through the fabric of your underwear, allowing him to taste you.

His hands slipped under your sweatshirt to squeeze roughly at your warm breasts, tugging at your erect nipples. You grasped at his hands over your clothing, moaning words of praise at the countless pleasurable sensations you were struggling to keep up with. The way Jake toyed with your breasts was quickly becoming one of your favorite feelings; you felt them swell even more at the roughness of his touch like he prophesized.

Involuntarily, your knees spread even wider on the mattress to grant him more access. Before you knew it, you were grinding your sopping core down onto Jake’s face while trying to remember this was a challenge to get him to come untouched.

“Do I taste that good, Jake? I don’t think I even need to look to know that your cock is rock hard and dripping in your sweatpants, do I?”

He groaned in agreement, the vibrations zipping across your skin. His hands were busy massaging the soft flesh of your breasts, stroking up and down your waist and over your panties.

“Bet it’s more pretty and pink than my pussy, huh Jakey?” He nearly choked at your nickname for him and the obvious effect he was having on you. It was easy to tell that he was starting to get you worked up.

In a moment of shamelessness, you felt around behind you until you caught hold of the ceramic bowl filled with cream. You pulled back the waistband of your underwear to pour the remainder of the cream into your panties, shivering at the way it mingled against your skin and provided a cooling sensation as it spilled into your folds.

Jake was panting lightly beneath you, his hot breath tickling your thighs. Slick covered his chin and his eyes were glazed over with desire; he was mesmerized due to the way the cream mixture dribbled down your thighs.

What a crazy sight, and he wasn’t even the one to suggest it.

“Want you to taste this cream through my panties and make me come. It’ll be a special mix, just for you baby,” you brushed the damp strands from his forehead sweetly, the term of endearment rolling off your tongue easily, “Make sure you don’t waste it.” 

Your words sent tingles straight to his balls, causing precum to bubble at the tip of cock and spill down his shaft, the stain on his pants blooming. His hips bucked desperately against the air, he was terribly affected by the way you thrashed above him despite your attitude, and above all the way you tasted.

So different from his fantasies, so much better.

Jake knew he was coaxing something out of you, something dangerous.

“Do you actually think you’ll last? That you won’t come all over yourself just from eating me out? You were so hard just from talking to me, so hard you just had to touch yourself in front of me,” you taunted, “Self-control just isn’t in a fuck boy’s vocabulary, is it Jakey?”

He groaned into your pussy at your belittling comments. You were right, he was way too close to losing it and he hadn’t even touched himself. He wished you would just tug on his cock ‘till he spilled over your hand and then press a messy kiss to the tip of it.

He ached so deeply for you, whatever you would give him. 

Yet he couldn't bring himself to admit that he's felt this way once before, only once. At least not to you, not with the way things are between you two. 

“Don’t you dare stop until I come."

Jake returned to pleasuring you with zeal, pulling your panties taut so you could really feel his tongue slip over your swollen lips and drag against your slit all the way up to your sweet spot. He focused his attention there, creating a tight suction with his lips to make your clit pulsate.

God, he just wanted to slip your panties to the side to shove his tongue against you and feel your warm insides clenching around him– but he wanted to earn it.

“Fuck, Jake,” your voice shook, “Yes, yes, yes!”

You keeled over as your orgasm wracked through your body at an intensity you hadn’t experienced before, jerking wildly against his face. Through the magnitude of pleasure, you continuously rolled your hips, chasing your high. Blinding light danced behind your eyelids and you couldn’t tell up from down as you clung to Jake’s head for dear life, pleasure bounding through your body.

Soon enough your arms shot out against the mattress while your legs went limp, twitching on top of Jake who roughly gripped the flesh of your ass like you might suddenly disappear into thin air.

“___,” you heard him call your name, breathless.

You just barely realized the sensation of cum running down your legs and soaking the sheets beneath you, no doubt spilling over Jake. You were an absolute mess.

“Sorry,” you panted.

You moved to climb off of Jake and just barely got a glimpse of the blissed-out look on his face that told you he hadn’t lasted either. The lower part of his face was covered in a sheen, and his eyes were glossy, unfocused. He was smiling up at you.

Genuinely surprised, you looked over your shoulder to see his cum leaking through his sweatpants from his spent cock. 

“You actually–”

Your legs were swept out from under you. Jake flipped you onto your back and you could do little to stop him when he stripped you of your panties and dove back down to lave his tongue between your folds, sucking the sweet cream off your swollen clit.

“Jake! Jake, I just came, wait–” You pulled at his hair and cried out as he continued to eat you out with an unmatched fervor, spurred on by how you twitched every time his tongue came in contact with your over-sensitive nub. 

“Fuck, your cum is so creamy, so tasty,” he praised before he spat against your pussy and lapped it up in one long stroke of his tongue, “I’m just trying not to waste like you told me to.”

“Jake,” your voice quivered in pleasure, and you hid your face with your arms as he pressed your thighs into your chest. His iron grip was too strong to break, but deep down you didn’t want him to stop— not even for a second.

“I should’ve known just how nasty you really are. You like it messy, don’t you baby?” Jake smirked.

“Ahn—!“

His tongue dipped into your milky cunt, gentle but unrelenting as he sought more of your cum. The slight stretch due to his wet muscle elicited a delightful groan from you.

“Think you’ll be able to wash all that cum out of those panties we ruined? Or am I really going to have to buy you a pretty new set?” 

His onslaught of teasing sent you into a state of desperation. You moaned, breath hitching even at the slightest of grazes, eventually succumbing to the insane pleasure. Your thoughts were filled with nothing but the way Jake worked open your pussy, his hot tongue swirling against your folds and slurping at the sweetened cum you made just for him.

“Please—“

He watched for the tell-tale signs of your impending second orgasm, for that line of tension in your body, curious if you’ve ever pushed yourself past that point of no return. If not, he’d gladly be the one to help you.

“You can let go, love. Look at me, ___.”

Against your better judgment, you glanced down between your parted thighs, only to meet Jake’s intense gaze as he sucked at your clit, sticky strings of cream and cum attached to his lips breaking every time he released and captured the nerve with a smack. His hands clamped over your tummy, anchoring you to his mouth. 

Eyes crossing in deep pleasure, all you could do was take it.

“This,” his puckered lips grazed your pussy, “Is. Mine.”

Another kiss, followed by another, and another– seemingly never-ending.

Your brain could barely process his words properly, voice rumbling against your skin, “What do we say when we come, ___?”

Jake watched the way your eyes rolled back into your head, your trembling thighs clamped around his head as you arched your back, fingers mercilessly tugging at his scalp. 

“Jaeyun, Jaeyun, Jaeyun,” you moaned over and over, voice breaking into a sob.

Everything came crashing down; you were somehow coming again, your body possessed with wave after wave of pure ecstasy. His tongue never stopped rolling against your pussy as you grinded against him, cum spilling over his lips once more.

How could someone make you feel this good?

Your shaky moans continued until Jake finally released your clit from his lips, and even then, you were barely able to catch your breath.

All of a sudden, something round and unidentifiable rubbed against your pussy lips; you glanced down to see Jake pressing the last strawberry to your swollen cunt, gathering your juices on the textured, gleaming skin of the fruit. The sensation of the strawberry gliding so easily against your pussy made you shudder– it was too much, too tortuous.

"No more..."

Jake twirled it between his fingers and pushed the creamy strawberry past his lips, tearing off the stem to consume it whole. The intensity of his gaze had you fixated on him the entire time, his eyes darkening at your taste while he sucked the opaque liquid off the pad of his thumb.

You whined, letting your head fall back against his sheets. He was insane.

“I love the way you scream my name," Jake caressed your inner thigh and placed a kiss on your damp skin, "You did so well, baby girl,” he whispered, “Such a perfect pussy, such a good girl.”

His praise secretly had you reeling.

Your head was stuck in the clouds and you didn’t want to come back down, but your mind began to clear, exhaustion settling into your body. 

You weren't Jake’s first, nor would you be his last. Whatever this was, it was just a fling, nothing more, nothing less. Right?

Through the haze of your high, you blinked at the ceiling and felt Jake withdrawing from you. 

“I know you wanna rest, but you’re gonna want a shower before you do that. Trust me.” He held out his hand to you.

You didn’t budge an inch. “I’m too tired.”

He chuckled, “A wash cloth is not gonna do it, ___. Don’t fall asleep on me, I’ll be right back. ”

You grumbled as Jake disappeared into the hallway. Your ears picked up the sound of continuous running water; was he actually filling a bath for you in that small ass shower of yours? 

That’s kinda… sweet.

You closed your eyes against Jake’s wishes.