A glimpse of glitter...吉光片羽

I’m writing this as somebody who has been writing and fan fiction and posting it on the Internet for something along the lines of sixteen years, as well as actively reading the stuff.

1. If you are writing fan fiction, you are amazing. Thank you. What you are doing is writing stories for free that others are going to get to consume and enjoy. You’re bringing pleasure to people who you don’t know, all over the world. Hopefully you are enjoying yourself as well. Good job.

2. Somebody is reading your stories. You know that story you wrote, with very little notes and reviews? Somebody read it. Somebody even enjoyed it. You might not always get the number of notes that you want, but you aren’t writing into a void.

3. Somebody is -going to- read your stories. I have this one fanfiction.net account from 2001. In 2001 I was like 16 or something. I was dyslexic. I mean, I totally still am, but it showed more then. So many typos. Every once in a while I’ll still get a review on one of those stories. The reviews are mostly positive. There are people today reading and having a positive response to those little stories I wrote as a child, about the things that mattered deeply to me back then, and it’s really cool. If you write a story, and it doesn’t get the response you want it to right away, don’t write it off as a failure. It might surprise you down the line.

4. But seriously. These stories you write? Unless you take them down, they are there forever. Sometimes I stumble upon stories with fantastic characterization and great plots, but get super nostalgic because they’ve brought up aim instant messenger away messages or something. Your stories are there forever. They are a gift to your fandom. They last.

5. If you choose to write a little bit for a smaller fandom, your stories have a greater staying power. The same goes for small ships. Naturally, you are going to write mostly for whatever catches your attention and inspires you, and if that is the behemoth that is superewholock or whatever, so be it. That said, if you ever feel inspired to write a story for that movie that has about ten fics on the Internet in total, do it. Absolutely do it. Maybe you won’t get a ton of initial reaction, but reviews might be trickling in for years or decades.

6. There are lots of people who are searching for a certain fan fiction with a certain plot. It is the story of their heart. You never know if you are writing the plot that somebody has been dreaming about and searching endlessly for. If you have a plot that you are endlessly searching for, consider writing it yourself.

7. Maybe you have a plot that you think about as you are going to sleep at night. Maybe you don’t want to write it, because it seems to self-indulgent or trope filled or whatever. Write it. That’s probably the story somebody else wants to read. Self-indulgent fan fics are often the really good ones.

8. Consider participating in Yuletide. If you don’t know what that is, Google search it (mostly because I can’t do html and pretty links on mobile…). It’s a yearly fanfiction exchange where people request stories they desperately want to read in rare fandoms. All of the stories that I’ve gotten the most reviews on were for that event. It’s a big deal, and good fun, because you know that no matter what else, you will be writing somebody’s ideal dream story. 9. Fic exchanges in general. Same goes for prompts. If somebody is leaving you a writing prompt, you have one nearly guaranteed reader, who will probably be super fond of your fic. 10. Don’t be afraid to reach out to writers that you like. If you have a favorite writer in a fandom, consider asking them to read your story and give their opinion. Be polite about it, and make if clear that they are under no obligation. Some will say no, because they are busy or whatever, but I’m willing to bet that a good percentage of people will be willing to look at your work if they are specifically sought out and asked to do so.

11. There is something good about most stories. I’m completely serious about this. You’d never believe how much fan fiction I’ve read. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything that I could say nothing positive about.

12. Give the reviews that you’d like to receive. Encourage other writers. When I first started writing, I had so many problems that are super obvious to me now. I still have problems, that will become obvious to me down to the road (if they were obvious to me now, I’d fix them. Obviously.). Back to the whole dyslexic thing. When if first started writing, I was a kid who couldn’t reliably spell the word “friend” correctly. I got positive feedback from fanfiction that I never got at school. As a result, I wrote and wrote and spent over half my life writing, and right now I’m an English teacher. If you finish somebody’s story, try to leave a word or two of encouragement. If there is a part that you like, tell them about it. It’s worth it. If the story seems like it’s written by a twelve year old, all the more reason to leave a nice note. Maybe you are helping somebody learn to believe in themselves as a writer, in a world where being a writer is a huge asset, as communication is becoming increasingly text based.

13. Even if you write a fic that has defied all the laws of Internet, and never found a single reader, if you enjoyed writing it, then that’s fine. It’s still a good story, and it’s still an accomplishment.

I considered reblogging the conversation, but decided against it because this is got overly long and morphed into a huge meta about Movie Napoleon instead.

I’ve spent months watching, learning, and writing  TV Napoleon, movie Napoleon, and hell even attempted a hybrid version of the two. Because of this, I have a lot of opinions and headcanons that will not jive with everyone. This is my interpretation and is not meant to be the right one in any way. Just one interpretation of many scattered across the fandom.

In general, I treat the two versions of Napoleon as two very different people both due to narrative circumstances and the routes the actors took in developing their character.

Now, some points about Movie Napoleon:

1) He is not to be considered the same Napoleon as TV Napoleon. That much is clear the moment you realise he is not working for UNCLE already at the beginning of the movie, which is set in 1963.

2) Henry never watched the show before taking on the role. He decided to interpret Napoleon in his own way and from the script alone. This makes a lot of people (me included) that did watch the show before the film or have watched the show after the film a bit uncomfortable or grumpy in general because hot damn, TV Napoleon is a gift. 

3) Piggy-backing on point 2, it is clear that the movie wanted to interpret Napoleon and Illya in a grittier way that they thought would appeal to modern audiences more, so it was a given they would be different (though to be honest, I never expected them to be that different when the movie finally came out).

In my opinion, doing that actually hurt the movie as much as making it an origin story (that takes places in 1963???? why????) did. From what I can tell, the modern audience now that has watched the show or is starting to love TV Napoleon because he is so different from the popular spies we see these days in film and television. He stands out on his own as a character that you cannot immediately compare to another type of spy or movie protagonist right off the bat.

4) That said, if Ian Fleming were alive or had his way with developing Napoleon Solo beyond the name, I’m sure movie Napoleon would be a closer match to what he originally intended. 

Now onto the quote itself and what it revealed to me–

A lot of people take Napoleon saying that line to Victoria as meaning he doesn’t own up to his name and doesn’t like it. I never saw that line like that. It isn’t him seriously saying ‘man, I only like my last name because it’s cooller than Napoleon’–c’mon guys, this is a guy that stayed on in Europe for awhile after the war and probably worked on becoming more European to blend in and do his thing. He probably learned to own up to Napoleon and took pride in it and how European and/or exotic it sounded.

I saw that line he says to Victoria as Napoleon being facetious in the face of a woman that was gloating about catching him. She calls him ‘Napoleon’ in a fond, condescending way because after all, she just caught him and defeated him. Napoleon, in a final act of defiance before he succumbs to the drugged scotch decides to say this line to her. She certainly seems to understand this because of the way she smiles and drops herself over the top of that couch. I mean, guys, Napoleon doesn’t really have many moments in the film where he is sincere or honest, so what makes you think he was being sincere or honest when confronted with a woman that is 100% likely gonna kill him when he wakes up?

I find the quote also brings to attention just how lonely Napoleon Solo as a character is in this film. No one calls him ‘Napoleon’ save for the woman that he knows will likely be the person that will kill him. He has 0 expectations of being saved and it’s clear he’s resigned to his fate by the time the torture scene rolls into place. He has no close personal ties with anyone in the movie, despite being the most social of the trio of agents. His own charm is his armor against letting this mission and the people involved get too close to him. 

Unlike in the show, Napoleon is not doing any of this spy business because he wants to, but because it is his literal prison sentence. Granted, he does seem to take some enjoyment from the whole thing in the form of sleeping with two gorgeous ladies and having a mini picnic by the dock, but those are temporary, physical pleasures and hell the second time he sleeps with a woman, it was out of necessity to maintain his cover.

But back to the name, note how Gaby and Illya are actually called by their first name more than once. Gaby and Illya grow close with one another while Napoleon maintains his distance, smiling all the while. Gaby and Illya obviously gain some respect for him over the course of the movie, but neither make any attempts to get to know Napoleon as a person. He is a means to an end. 

It does not even occur to Illya that Napoleon is anything more than a temporary partner (a good one and one he does not want to kill, given how they had just finished saving the world and all) until Napoleon returns his father’s watch to him. That gesture and the fact that Napoleon called him ‘Illya’ during the extraction mission are clear indications that Napoleon saw Illya as more than an agent and as a person. Illya, however, does not see or think Napoleon even cares about him until the watch moment. The return of the watch unsettles Illya to the core and makes it impossible for him to do as his handler wants because here is a man that is more than his record. Here is a man that cared enough to go out of his way to get back his watch despite all he went through.

In my opinion, it is only after the watch scene that we begin to see the start of a true partnership between Illya and Napoleon and the beginnings of a friendship. Should we get a sequel, we will probably continue to see their friendship and bond grow into something more like what we are familiar with from the show.

Write what the fuck you want.

Write what makes you happy. Write what makes your soul sing. Write what fucks you up and makes you cry. Write what comforts you. Write what distracts you. Write what you want to read. Write what you want to watch.

Write what you want to dream about tonight.

Write what you can't get enough of. Write what you're completely obsessed with. Write what wakes you up at 4am and drags you out of bed because you can't stop thinking about what your characters are going to do next.

Write what turns you on, if that's your vibe. Write characters you're in love with and characters who inspire you and characters you want to be friends with and characters you fucking hate but oh my god they're so much fun.

Write about things you would sell your soul to do in real life and things you would never do in real life. Write about things that are happening right now and things that happened a thousand years ago and things that might happen in the future and things you wish could happen.

Write to get a publishing deal or to sell your books yourself or not to sell your books at all. Write for your friends or for strangers or for the people who reblog your posts on Tumblr and send you songs that remind them of your characters.

Write for yourself.

Fuck any system that tells you there's only one right way to create or one valid way to share your writing. Your story, the way you tell it, has so much value. Make people smile or piss people off or do both of those things because art is divisive and fascinating and beautiful.

my inner voice, wise: ah, but this cannot be... because I am part of "everyone"... and until I am sick of drawing them... it will not be everyone

Think of your hobbies as a relationship. If your friend is constantly trying to extort your money and is making you feel awful whenever you're not giving them your full attention or failed the tasks they gave you, then you probably wanna set some boundaries with that friend no matter how much you love them.

That's the boundaries you need to set with your mobile games.

If you don't wanna quit cold turkey here's what I suggest.

Quit for a week. Deliberately break the habit and miss a event. Afterwards if you wanna go back, you still can.

Get an app blocking app and control/monitor how many hours you spend on the game

That being said. From personal experience? Immunizing myself to all my discomforts by browsing through pixiv and kink memes with raised eyebrows while searching for things I am interested in back when tagging was non-existent has really made my fandom experience much more pleasant nowadays.

I have preferences, for sure. But I have no fear. I have no cringe. The filthiest, grossest fanwork holds no powers over me. I am a god.

Me: “no, it’s milk”

“Uhhh, i ASSUME we’re going to the playground soon??” -2.5 year old girl

“[3 year old boy] pushed me because he doesn’t have a manners.” -2 yr old girl

“Did you spill your water?” “No no no no it’s not a concern” -2 yr old boy (while running away, dripping wet)

Kids are smarter than you think

Her mum, standing in the kitchen and watching all this, was GOBSMACKED. Apparently she said that exact phrase more often than she realised, and her kid had picked it up verbatim and started using it on unsuspecting guests (me).

Repeat what they’ve heard, incorrectly and/or in the wrong context, to comic effect

Repeat what they’ve heard in exactly the correct context, which is somehow even funnier

tumblr, which is held together with duct tape and madness, run by three raccoons in blood stained Yahoo! hats and a handful of crabs, its only discernible source of income the sale of shoelaces from an inside joke so inside no one knows the original source anymore and fake blue checkmarks... that website still lives on

Apparently if you put a red band on a male red wing blackbird his harem size can double

Previously when the researchers had run these tests, they found a certain amount of infidelity was common for these birds. Somewhere around 10% of eggs were fathered by males who were not the primary mates of females.

After the advent of the Super Sexy Male, however, stuff got crazy in bird world. Infidelity skyrocketed, with upwards of 25% of ALL EGGS in the area being fathered by this specific male. Furthermore, his mate’s eggs were 100% his.

I’m writing this as somebody who has been writing and fan fiction and posting it on the Internet for something along the lines of sixteen years, as well as actively reading the stuff.

1. If you are writing fan fiction, you are amazing. Thank you. What you are doing is writing stories for free that others are going to get to consume and enjoy. You’re bringing pleasure to people who you don’t know, all over the world. Hopefully you are enjoying yourself as well. Good job.

2. Somebody is reading your stories. You know that story you wrote, with very little notes and reviews? Somebody read it. Somebody even enjoyed it. You might not always get the number of notes that you want, but you aren’t writing into a void.

3. Somebody is -going to- read your stories. I have this one fanfiction.net account from 2001. In 2001 I was like 16 or something. I was dyslexic. I mean, I totally still am, but it showed more then. So many typos. Every once in a while I’ll still get a review on one of those stories. The reviews are mostly positive. There are people today reading and having a positive response to those little stories I wrote as a child, about the things that mattered deeply to me back then, and it’s really cool. If you write a story, and it doesn’t get the response you want it to right away, don’t write it off as a failure. It might surprise you down the line.

4. But seriously. These stories you write? Unless you take them down, they are there forever. Sometimes I stumble upon stories with fantastic characterization and great plots, but get super nostalgic because they’ve brought up aim instant messenger away messages or something. Your stories are there forever. They are a gift to your fandom. They last.

5. If you choose to write a little bit for a smaller fandom, your stories have a greater staying power. The same goes for small ships. Naturally, you are going to write mostly for whatever catches your attention and inspires you, and if that is the behemoth that is superewholock or whatever, so be it. That said, if you ever feel inspired to write a story for that movie that has about ten fics on the Internet in total, do it. Absolutely do it. Maybe you won’t get a ton of initial reaction, but reviews might be trickling in for years or decades.

6. There are lots of people who are searching for a certain fan fiction with a certain plot. It is the story of their heart. You never know if you are writing the plot that somebody has been dreaming about and searching endlessly for. If you have a plot that you are endlessly searching for, consider writing it yourself.

7. Maybe you have a plot that you think about as you are going to sleep at night. Maybe you don’t want to write it, because it seems to self-indulgent or trope filled or whatever. Write it. That’s probably the story somebody else wants to read. Self-indulgent fan fics are often the really good ones.

8. Consider participating in Yuletide. If you don’t know what that is, Google search it (mostly because I can’t do html and pretty links on mobile…). It’s a yearly fanfiction exchange where people request stories they desperately want to read in rare fandoms. All of the stories that I’ve gotten the most reviews on were for that event. It’s a big deal, and good fun, because you know that no matter what else, you will be writing somebody’s ideal dream story. 9. Fic exchanges in general. Same goes for prompts. If somebody is leaving you a writing prompt, you have one nearly guaranteed reader, who will probably be super fond of your fic. 10. Don’t be afraid to reach out to writers that you like. If you have a favorite writer in a fandom, consider asking them to read your story and give their opinion. Be polite about it, and make if clear that they are under no obligation. Some will say no, because they are busy or whatever, but I’m willing to bet that a good percentage of people will be willing to look at your work if they are specifically sought out and asked to do so.

11. There is something good about most stories. I’m completely serious about this. You’d never believe how much fan fiction I’ve read. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything that I could say nothing positive about.

12. Give the reviews that you’d like to receive. Encourage other writers. When I first started writing, I had so many problems that are super obvious to me now. I still have problems, that will become obvious to me down to the road (if they were obvious to me now, I’d fix them. Obviously.). Back to the whole dyslexic thing. When if first started writing, I was a kid who couldn’t reliably spell the word “friend” correctly. I got positive feedback from fanfiction that I never got at school. As a result, I wrote and wrote and spent over half my life writing, and right now I’m an English teacher. If you finish somebody’s story, try to leave a word or two of encouragement. If there is a part that you like, tell them about it. It’s worth it. If the story seems like it’s written by a twelve year old, all the more reason to leave a nice note. Maybe you are helping somebody learn to believe in themselves as a writer, in a world where being a writer is a huge asset, as communication is becoming increasingly text based.

13. Even if you write a fic that has defied all the laws of Internet, and never found a single reader, if you enjoyed writing it, then that’s fine. It’s still a good story, and it’s still an accomplishment.