lynx

Maybe he tries to keep better track after that despite the time zone he’s in constantly changing. Stratt asks him what he’s doing having a sip of beer at 10 AM and he sheepishly admits “it’s 6 PM over in San Francisco.”

Fast forward he’s in space when he remembers how long he’s been gone and there are no Thursdays, but he can still try to calculate the time back on Earth. There’s no beer or steak really but he can still raise a drink pouch in the direction of home. It feels a little silly, maybe he thinks she’s moved on by now, that he wasn’t important enough to her (shouldn’t have been) to grieve for this long (thirteen years now, she’s older than him because of time dilation. Out of sync.), but it makes him feel a little closer to normal, a piece of his pre-amnesia self.

Rocky realizes that this little ritual means something to him and makes an accurate San Francisco to Erid Dome Time clock for him (takes a bit to figure out the math for relativity). Grace says he isn’t even sure if Marissa is still living in San Francisco (emphasis on San Francisco. Emphasis on living), but every time it says Thursday, 6PM, he raises a glass of (water, usually. Used to be nutrient shakes) towards Sol.

Maybe if he returns home after learning Sol was saved he meets Marissa’s surviving family and learns she did something similar every Thursday too. Even after she thought for sure he was dead.

I love you. I'll never forget you now.

Colt’s shooting some stunt work in San Fran and asks his brother to come to set to visit him, and also to introduce him to Jody, the cute camera operator he’s crushing on hard! Ryland of course says “yes!” And makes his way to set.

Jody sees him at craft services and for a split second thinks “Colt’s dressed weird today?” Before remembering that he’s currently in a rehearsal for a defenestration stunt and that this guy must be the brother he’s been talking about. (Based on my own experience as a twin, I take every opportunity to talk about my sister when I’m at work. But that’s a post for a different day) So she makes her way over to him because he’s looking a little lost. He very quickly tells her that he’s looking for Colt… Mr Seavers? Whatever he’s going by, and she lets him know where his brother is.

“Oh good, that’s good.” He says white knuckling a coffee cup like his life depends on it. He’s so nervous! Is it the stunt his brother’s about to do? No this is something else. She asks him what’s up and he’s so jittery awkward about it and she’s been so nice when everyone else has just been stupid busy and running around like headless chickens that he just word vomits that Colt’s not the only person he’s here to see.

“He wants me to meet his new… girlfriend? She’s a camera operator, you might know her actually. Jody Moreno?”

And oh. Oh ho ho! He DOESN’T KNOW SHE’S JODY!! Oh this is juicy! She should tell him who she is … but this is more fun. So she plays along and leads him to where Colt is all the while asking leading questions like “So Colt’s pretty serious about this girl huh?” And “Does he talk about her often?” (The answers are “UH YEAH HE’S SERIOUSLY IN LOVE WITH HER!” And “He literally never shuts up about her, it’d be annoying if it wasn’t so sweet” but Ry has at least some restraint to not blurt out his brother’s biggest feelings to the… techie? Yeah techie next to him)

Eventually they get to set and Colt’s about to do his stunt when they get there and he’s so excited to see his brother who he’s not seen in MONTHS! When he realises that… oh shoot. He’s been so wrapped up in his own nerves that he never asked her for her name! What a jerk!

“Thank you so much for helping me, I’m so sorry, I never got your name?”

Colt is given full creative freedom to shape how Ryland is portrayed, because he knows his brother better than anyone. With Jodi directing, she steps back enough to let his vision lead the film. What emerges is a deeply personal portrayal of Grace, filtered through love, memory, and truth.

Because they both volunteered to board the Project Hail Mary to search for a solution to astrophage, they were both willing to die in order to give the rest of humanity a fighting chance of making it.

And they both died before ever even seeing Tau Ceti.

And it feels so unfair, because they went all that way for nothing, they died without even getting to try and save the people they were going for.

So they died for nothing.

Except they DIDN’T.

Because their deaths saved Grace, and in turn, saved Rocky and Erid. Without the surplus coma slurry, Grace wouldn’t have been able to go back and take Rocky home, and Erid would have had a much harder time with astrophage.

This isn’t particularly coherent, but I can’t stop thinking about these two people who were willing to die for their world, died before getting the chance to fight for their species survival, and yet their deaths meant the sole survivor of their crew could save both their home, and another.

Grace was put into coma by the people who cared about him. They (especially Yáo being Yáo) probably double-triple-quadruple checked everything. They watched him sleep for those first few days — I doubt they went into coma immediately after leaving Earth's orbit. They probably talked to him, assuring him that he'll be okay.

Ilyukhina's coma procedure was probably supervised by Yáo. He made sure that everything was in order, but — he is just one man and he is not a doctor. There was much more room for mistakes.

When Yáo went to sleep, he was alone. He had to rely on the technology completely.

Biblically accurate Ryland Grace from Ryan Gosling himself.

[VD: A Project Hail Mary animatic titled "We ask the Project Hail Mary crew what they would take on a trip to space". The art is toned in purple, yellow, and orange. The characters answer with audio from interviews with the movie actors as microphones are held towards them.

Grace, sweating and laughing sheepishly: "Well, I wouldn't go to space... Just like never, I would run."

Ilyukhina, smiling: "A picture of my family."

Dubois smiles and stands with Yao, who nods seriously: "Nerds Gummy Clusters."

Grace, smiling nervously: "Why do I have to?"

Stratt: "My phone."

Grace: "Can I pick three? (He counts off) Coffee, donuts, and then, like, some choose-your-adventure novels so I can get a few multiple reads out of them. (He holds up his hands defensively) But I don't want to go. Just to be clear."

ryland comes home to their father waterboarding colt and he doesn't know how long this has been going on but colt is drenched and choking and if he doesn't get colt out of their father's hands now, he's not sure if—

he's moving before he's aware of it. but he's not moving to where their father is about to murder his brother. no, he's going upstairs and into their father's room—a bedside drawer that really only has one thing in it

their father yells something at colt (still somehow oblivious to ryland's presence) and pulls colt's head back under the running water and ryland's right arm is so heavy but he tries to keep it steady—

vaguely, he's aware that the front door opened and their father finally turning around—

ryland recoils from the force of it, his ears are ringing

the hand around colt loosens and then two bodies hit the floor

then there's a hand on his and he instinctively grips the gun tighter—a face appears in front of him, similar to his own but a little older

court. it's court who's trying to take the gun from him and so ryland lets him. court's mouth is moving but ryland can't make anything of it, he's just aware that court is wiping down the gun with his shirt before he fits it into his own hand

he pushes ryland towards colt who's still gasping and wheezing but alive

you are eight years old and your father is drowning your twin brother in the bathtub. theres only one way you can think to get him to stop, to save your brother. by the end, you still lose a brother, just not the one you thought you would, its your fault, because you were too much of a coward (you were so small, just a third grader younger than the kids you teach now, you were a kid) to take responsibility for your actions

after this they obviously become inseparable for years and years theyre just always together until ryland goes to uni and colt finding a job as a stuntman. they still manage, ryland hates going to colt's sets because everytime he gets scared something will happen to colt but he's somewhat supportive because he can see how much colt enjoys his jobs.

ryland gets into academy he works insanely hard, even when colt's sets are in the same state it gets harder to meet up because grace is so immersed in his research and the urge to prove the idiots wrong but still try his best to make some time for his brother. he gets mad at people call someone a staggering waste of carbon and gets kicked out of academy but its fine he finds a job at school as a science teacher. he loves his job he loves kids and he loves teaching them everything is fine and now he has more time to spend time with his brother and friends!! everything is fine.

until it isnt. colt gets injured. grace rushes to the airport, he goes to his state he takes a few weeks off of his job, its a family emergency. he helps colt as much as he can.

colt pushes EVERYONE away. including ryland but it doesnt work. ryland knows colt he knows what hes trying to do, it wont work. after returning to his job he still calls everyday and goes to visit colt every weekend. calls are almost never answered but ryland doesnt let it go, he doesnt let him go.

it goes like this for months, colt only has ryland. he thinks he doesnt deserve him neither. he should be making class schedules at his own house and not care for an asshole like him but no matter what he does, ryland doesnt let him push him away. they have fights, shout at each other but nothing make ryland go away.

one day he says stuff he can never take back. they have another fight, the same old insults and same old accusations. but this time colt blames ryland with losing their older brother. he lnows he shouldnt have gone there, he DIDNT want to go there but his mouth had its own mind at that moment. for the first time ryland didnt say anything to colt. no nerdy sciencey insult, no censored or uncensored swear words, no nothing. he only looked at him, gathered his stuff and left him.

colt wanted to apologize, he really did. after half a year he willingly called ryland but his calls were unanswered. he texted him to apologize and found out ryland had blocked him. he really did deserve it. ryland was all he had last and now he managed to push him away too.

ryland blocked colt's number after his first call. if he wanted to be a lonely piece of shit, fine he was gonna let him be.

it was a few months later when eva stratt went to talk to ryland. and it was around colt was presumed dead when they broke the news of ryland needing to go to space. they told him he didnt even have family, he did have a brother he havent talked in months, but they told him he was dead. ryland didnt believe it. it was colt!! he couldnt have died!!! but they showed him the news. ryland ran away they caught up to him and he ended up on space.

after he cleared his name and saved his relationship with the love of his life, colt wanted to make things right with ryland too. he wanted to apologize face to face. he tried to call, no response. so he went to the school he knew he was working. they told him he wasnt working there anymore. colt was taken aback. he tried to call him again but in the same day he saw the news. ryland grace was named as one of the astornaut that was going to space with project hail mary.

ryland grace? going to space? colt would call it bullshit. his brother couldnt even ride the elevator without feeling lightheaded, there was no way he agreed to it.

you can probably somehow connect it to colt and court reunion then trying to find what actually happened to ryland but i didnt watch the gray man yet so i cant :p