koala princess

She felt terrible. Her chest was on fire. But the tour was just beginning, and Matt was in more pain than she was right now. She needed to get through this. It was only a thirty minute set. Jenna had been doing all that she could to keep herself on her feet, and to keep from losing her voice. She ‘d been put on vocal rest yesterday, having to disappoint dozens of fans waiting to speak to her last night. The guys knew her voice was suffering. But if the blood splatters start and they knew, they wouldn’t give her a choice. They’d be on their way home immediately. But she didn’t want to ruin this. This tour was so important to them. So important to their fans here. It had been a year since they’d been in America, and they wouldn’t be touring again until their next record was released.

They cut soundcheck short, after only just one song. Ever since Jenna had been going back and forth from hanging with other bands and hiding her coughing fits in the bathroom. Just before going on stage Jenna prayed to every god that she read about to help her get though these next thirty minutes. She’d been doing the same thing since the start of the tour. It started when they were recording, but it hadn’t started to effect her voice until the last week.

The energy from the fans was incredible since the moment they stepped on stage. She loved playing in this country. The kids here were born for this kind of music. For these kind of shows. And for the first half of the set, Jenna forgot about the pain, forgot about the burn in her lungs with every breath that she took. For a little while, she lived completely through the music. But that could only last for so long.

Her voice started to crack during “Listening” and she turned away from the crowd towards Matty to cough for a moment into the crook of her elbow. The drummer watched her, concerned. Jenna waved him off with a smile and gave him a thumbs up. Halfway through “The Other Side” was when the burn started to intensify. Her chest started to tighten. She should have told them to skip over “WAYSSO”, but they hadn’t played it in America since their headlining tour in 2013. She knew how disappointed the kids would be. So Jenna didn’t dare suggest it.

They could tell she was having a hard time, but she motioned for them to keep going. Her lungs were on fire through the first verse. The faces in the front row were beginning to blur and a grimace finally showed on her face. She doubled over for a few seconds to try and regain her composure. When Jenna brought the microphone to her lips again nothing but a series of coughs came out. There was a deafening thud when the microphone hit the stage and her fingers were covered in small blood splatters as she coughed. She stood up straight and closed her eyes. Jenna didn’t realize she fell backwards until she opened her eyes again was being carried off stage my Whak and Cam. She gasped as they sit her down against a wall backstage. Cam held her hands above her head as she tried to catch her breath.

Jenna was running late. Their set was in fifteen minutes and her phone was blowing up like crazy. She hadn't meant to fall asleep for so long. It was only supposed to be a nap, but she hadn't slept too much last night. Jenna rushed to find a clean shirt, pulling it on. She grabbed at a long sleeve blue flannel in her bunk and an orange pill bottle plopped onto her pillow. She stared at it for a moment, then stuffed it beneath her blankets and pulled the curtain across her bunk, hurrying to the door. Jenna jogged her way through the maze of buses, a hand coming up to cover her mouth as she coughed. She slowed down to a walk. Okay. Running was a bad idea. Taking a deep breath of cold air, it stung all the way into her lungs. She stopped, bending over for a moment, to place her palms on her knees and catch her breath. Once she could breath easier, Jenna stood up straight once more and finally made her way backstage. "Yeah, yeah..." she said immediately at her band mates, waving her hand towards them. "Just don't. I'm fine. I need to warm up." She downed half of a bottle of water and starting stretching her arms and rolled her neck slowly, walking away from everyone else into a corner, eyes closed.

This leg of Uproar had been particularly stressful for the vocalist for several different reasons, most of them cooped up somewhere inside of his head where nobody could find them. Negativity bred more negativity, and that was something that Corey definitely didn't need. He was just excited to get yet another show over with, and was sitting backstage in his jumpsuit, not putting his mask on quite yet. He'd leaned himself back against one of the side stage walls, mindlessly texting Max every now and then to let him know who was onstage since they were on separate days for today. Mostly, Mr. Taylor had been hanging out with a lot of his bandmates, laughing along with whatever they were saying and enjoying himself immensely. The two new members of the band were finally starting to get the hang of being around all the time, and Corey was finally getting used to their presence. He'd heard that Tonight Alive was supposed to open directly in front of them before their headlining show, but also had heard from the rest of her band that she was late as fuck..which immediately made him feel worried. He'd been trying to help them find her when she finally had stumbled up and went to warm up without saying much of anything else. His eyebrows knitted together in concern, and he excused himself from Jim to go over to where she was,watching her for a few moments before speaking up. "..You holding up alright? Do you need anything..?"

Jenna felt horrible to be perfectly honest. She'd been feeling horrible for the passed week. That's exactly why she'd been on vocal rest. Not attending any of their scheduled interviews or meet and greets, and basically banned to the confines of their bus when they weren't on stage. In other words, she hated it. It felt like she was at home. The only thing that was keeping her sane right now were the pills hidden in her bunk and the half an hour she got to spend on stage everyday. She jumped slightly, hearing the soft voice behind her. Jenna turned, and immediately took a step back seeing the jumpsuit, and then smiled when she realized it was Corey. "Oh...hey." Jenna took a closer look at his outfit, and then peered around him to take a look at his bandmates. "Wow. There is a reason I can't watch you guys from up close," she half teased. "You're lucky I don't have my brush on me." A grin found its way onto her face and she laughed. Jenna brought her arm up to her face and coughed into the crook of her elbow. "I'm fine. Really. I've been a little sick, but...I've been worse. I just accidently fell asleep. That's why I was late." She cleared her throat and took another drink from the water bottle.

A pleasant smile spread over his features at the mention of the brush. "I'm very, very lucky. You know brushes are my weakness.." He winked and backed up away a bit from her before lighting a cigarette, hoping that it wouldn't cause her to completely shatter in front of him. To be safe, he backed up at least ten feet away, even if they were outdoors. He listened to her words and let his eyes travel her thin frame. She didn't look good. She looked exhausted, and there was a lifelessness in her eyes that he hadn't really been used to seeing. He sighed softly and then nodded. "The tour's been rough on all of us..you should probably be careful. I know you love going out there and giving it 100%, but maybe you should try to tone it back just a little..especially if you're feeling sick. The crowd's pretty dead out there anyway right now." He wasn't entirely sure which band was onstage right now, but the songs were awful and the energy wasn't at a high level. Sure, that would change when Tonight Alive took the stage, followed by his own ragtag group of creepy, mask-wearing misfits, but he just wanted her to be safe. He'd be sure to try and keep an eye out for her, anyway.

Jenna laughed again. "Yeah well, every superhero has a flaw. That's what they say. I guess yours is just...hairbrushes." She giggled, coughing again, turning away from him. Jenna got another water bottle and poured a little on her face. Not because she was hot, but she hoped it would wake her up a little bit. She reached for a towel and hopped around a little, listening to his advice. Jenna shook her head and smiled in his direction. "You know, telling me that I shouldn't do something or should back down, only makes me want to push harder. I thought you would know that by now." She rolled her shoulders and shook out her legs. "Well, if it's dead out there then I guess it's my job to wake them all up isn't it?" She coughed yet again, covering her mouth and masked it with a laugh. "Let's just hope I don't give the whole tour the plague. That would just make everyone love me." Jenna started rolling up the sleeves of her flannel as she heard the band currently on were finally coming off the stage. She eyed him. "You know, a cigarette is not going to kill me."

He listened to each cough and tried not to flinch for her. Jesus, those sounded worse than usual, and he knew about her CF. God, he wanted to help her in some way, but all he could really do was admire her strength, her dedication to her job. He grinned. "Fuck yeah..get out there and fucking rock the joint." He said it because he knew that's what she wanted to hear. She didn't want any resistance, and she didn't want any sort of advice..all she wanted to do was live, and he couldn't blame her for that. There were so many times in his past that he was sure he was going to die, and felt like he would die miserable because of his own doing. To see this girl on the edge of death, knocking and playing peek-a-boo through the shadows at the hooded, skeletal figure, was more than a little bit inspiring to Corey. He took another drag of his cigarette. "I just know that you have to take your breathing treatments and shit everyday and I didn't want you to have to worry about the smoke, so I'm just standing back here."

Despite the paleness in her face and the circles under her eyes, his statement brought a beaming smile to her face. She was so used to people telling her to take it easy and that she should back down, that to hear the complete opposite, to hear someone actually encourage her despite the fact that she knew how horrible she looked and definitely felt, it gave Jenna what she needed to push back the exhaustion and walk out on the stage. She took one last swallow from the water bottle, splashing the rest on her face and then shaking it off. "Thanks Corey..." she said softly. "I appreciate it. Really." She jumped on her toes a couple more times, a smile on her face. She headed for the stage, following behind her band mates, patting Corey's arm as she passed. Jenna kept walking but turned to look at him. "You know...you're not so scary. Maybe I'll finally have to watch you guys up close..." She winked and then turned as she heard Whak strum the opening riffs of "The Ocean" and walked out onto stage, raising both arms above her head.

"Nah. I do okay.." He gave her a beaming grin right back as he watched her raise her head high and walk out underneath the burning stage lights, in front of a crowd of people that immediately started brightening the second they hit the stage. They were one of the bands they were here to see, they were one of the newer acts that were ready to take off for the fucking stars, and Uproar was helping them so much in that. He settled himself down in one of the seats on the side stage, and made himself comfortable, taking another hit of his cigarette and occasionally bopping his head with the music. She was lovely out there, showered with the admiration of their public. They honestly deserved to be bigger in the states than they were, and this show was proof of it already.

This is where she was in her element. This is where she was happiest. Where nothing could touch her. And she wasn't going to let anyone or anything take this away from her as long as she had a voice and as long as she still had breath in her lungs. This was the first show in a long time that she almost felt invincible. Jenna couldn't feel anything. Her voice wasn't straining. Her chest didn't hurt with every breath, and she was taking advantage of that. Halfway through the set, she even brought the guys together over Matty's kick drum and told them they were putting "No Different" back on the setlist. A couple weeks ago they replaced it with a slower song because it was the toughest song for her vocally. But tonight was different, and Jenna didn't give the boys time to shut her down. They were playing it, and that was final. And she was nailing it. All the notes. Something she hasn't been able to do for a couple months now. Maybe she wasn't getting worse, like her doctor said. "The Edge" was next. That's when she felt it. A sudden wave of dizziness. She grabbed onto the mic stand to steady herself and the boys switched guitars. Jenna caught Matty's eye. He'd noticed. She shook her head, waving him off. She was fine. She was fine. She had to finish this set. Two songs left.

Corey dedicated years of his fucking life, his entire lifeblood, to doing exactly what Jenna was doing out on that stage right now: absolutely fucking killing it. Laying it all out there for the world to see, for the world to hear and absorb as their own. Each note could've left gashes in the stage, and even though Jenna's story she told though her songs was much less dark than Corey's own, it still held a certain heaviness to it. Nobody out there knew about her condition except maybe her bandmates, and yet here she was, destroying each song, coming at it like a warrior queen. And god, he loved that about this band. Their energy was infectious, and he was super pleased. He even though about asking if they'd want to do a side tour with them as the first headliner because he was so damned impressed. He knew the adrenaline she was feeling because he'd felt it pumping through his veins his entire fucking life when he hit the stage with either of his bands. With Slipknot, there was a certain...madness to the entire show. Everyone was constantly going crazy..and the Stone Sour shows were more just him talking about what went on in his life. Two polar opposites, but this high-energy band was like a tiny female fronted madhouse, and he was loving every second of it. He watched her steady herself on the mic stand and started to get onto his feet. Fuck..what the hell was happening?

Jenna was so grateful there was a quick instrument change. Her hand gripped onto the mic stand until her knuckles went white to make sure she stayed on her feet. "Come on..." she mumbled to herself, willing the dizzy spell to pass. Two songs left. That's it. Then she could crawl back to the bus for all she cared and sleep for the next three days. Come on, Jenna. Deep breath and keep singing. When she failed to talk during the change, Whak came up to her and touched her arm. She shook him off, nodding that she was fine. The clenched her eyes shut and took a deep breath as the dizziness passed. Hesitantly, she let go of the mic stand, and stepped away from it, looking back up at the crowd with a smile. "I think I'm gonna have to come down here for the next one," she pointed down at the barricade. Jenna hopped down and reached for the first hand that reached out for hers and stepped up onto the barricade. As the opening riffs of "The Edge" started, she could feel her chest tightening up. But there were two songs left. She's made it through worse. At least she didn't have to worry about falling down, because security was holding her up from behind and the fans holding her from the other side.

Corey was holding his breath. This already wasn't looking too good, and he noticed that she was struggling already. It was like watching a fucking tower fall and crumble to dust..it was like he knew it was going to happen. It was like he felt the air shift. When she moved down to the barricade, he stood to watch closely as the fans and security both held her there between them. Safety and the madness of a crowd that was starting to get riled up, finally. They were truly something special, and Corey hated to see that reign come to an end. They were just getting started. Come on, Jenna. You could make it. He knew their set was almost over because of the program in his hand and the time on the clock. It was only a little bit longer and she could rest and he could get out there and show them what he was made of, what the band was made of, why they had been around for as long as they could. But for right now, everything was hanging in an eerie balance.

Jenna could hear the cracking in her voice. The strain. With every breath she couldn't hold her notes as long or or sustain the tone as long as the song required. So far, no one in front of her seemed to notice. She knew the boys did. Jenna didn't have to look at them to know that they realized that there was a problem. But they also knew her better then to just stop in the middle of a song or the middle of an entire set for that matter. Besides, this has happened before. She's lost her voice and went into coughing fits during a set before. And they knew she didn't want anyone to know what was really going on. A fan took her free hand. Jenna smiled down at her, leaning down a little, to sing right to her. When she threw her head back up to get ready for the bridge. That's when her vision started swimming. She shook her head and blinked a few times to try and shake it off, and then dropped the mic in her hand to cover her mouth when she felt the deep itching rumble in her lungs. She doubled over at the power of it. One of the security guards must have thought that she lost her balance, because he pulled her back up. But it was too fast. The dizziness came back. Holding one hand on her head, praying for the equilibrium to come back to could barely make out a fan holding the discarded mic out towards her. That's when she realized the music had stopped. Blinking a few times, her vision finally cleared for a moment, for just long enough to see the blood splatters on her hands.

When the band stopped playing it was like the beginning of the end of everything. Jenna's own personal apocalypse, and Corey was already standing to his feet and starting to make his way down to the barricade. The audience started cheering, chanting his name, and he shut them down with a shake of his head as he made it towards the security guard, staying close to them and looking back up to her band, who were starting to mill about to find some way to save their vocalist. Shit. This was too much for her. Corey should've known that, should've said something. He blamed himself immediately for what was happening, but for now he stayed back just enough to give the guards room, staying close to the barricade just in case anybody else tried to get involved.