illybeans

A smart fellow told me about his taxi theory, us guys who look for a partner are those waving down taxis while the girls (or guys) are the taxis. Just cause you wave it doesn't mean a taxi will come straight away, just like catching a cab in the middle of the night everyones waving, but eventually you will find one cab. Cause just like how you were finding a cab the taxi was finding a passenger. So sure you can say I'm waiting for the right one to come along, but if you don't continue too wave through all the rejections you're never going to get that cab.

Sick of people. really I am.

The last year I have been stuck where I am now and it's about time I changed something. I knew the answer already but deep down I just wanted to hear it for the sake of hearing it. And I think I got what I wanted, I can finally close a door that has been bothering me for the last 4 years. Look on the bright side right I can finally move on.

Feeling all my university friends explode recently back to conversing through facebook and that I'm missing out from it all. But at same time I don't actually want to put myself out there for likes and comments and feeling shit about myself that I feel excluded to begin with.

And this is why i'll never do group work with friends again, can't believe I got coaxed into another one, definitely understand where they're coming from but come on mate pull the weight otherwise i'd have left the group for a fairer one.

I've made excuses missed events, did everything to be as least productive as possible and just utterly feel rock bottom right now and I know i'm doing this to myself. I don't know why I feel so self destructive, I hate what i'm doing, where i'm going and even more that i'm not stopping my self. fuck mate.

I always find myself cuddled up in a corner when i'm lonely. Knowing alot of people, having a couple of friends, but none I ever see. They say when your backs against the wall break it down, but its more realistic to open up your laptop and just sit there and lose reality in something else till you forget how lonely you are.

#lovethis

Fire with Fire - Ross Kauffman - GE FOCUS FORWARD (by GE)