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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@knotted-roses
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I would be great at being Unidentified Hellenistic Ruler. King of Some Small Slice of Asia, leading an entourage of Macedonian transplants ruling brutally over marginally hellenized subjects, with prententions vastly exceeding my military achievements.
Bro, I am like totally like Alexander's #1 successor. For real dog.
The "me and my boys are starting a podcast" of the Hellenic Age.
Hellenistic rulers would've made the best midwit bro podcasts. Episodes:
If We Make Our Pikes Just One Foot Longer We Can Win Every Battle By Poking Them First
Why do my native conscripts keep running away at the start of the battle every time?
[idiotic philosophical takes from a guy who skimmed aristotle maybe once]
Only three episodes because he lost interest and got really into poisonous fitness supplements
Love that this alien arm is clearly just green bubblewrap. 70s prosthetics I love you
Classic SF once again betrayed by a clear, static-free signal and a flat digital screen
This is how I remember classic Who and Star Trek, folks, with signal ghosts and scanning lines (but usually with more static/snow)
Sharing this on my main because it appears from the notes that it's useful for some modern viewers.
You KNOW classic SF used the limited displays of CRT television and the static of transmitted signals the way theaters use stage makeup and lighting to make inexpensive props look great fine— take advantage of the medium! But it's hard to imagine how it looked if you've only seen Blu-ray HD restorations.
I swear to you, despite classic Who using bubble wrap for years as one of its go-to materials that reflected light in interesting ways, we never realized that's what it was.
Please enjoy this snail measuring tape i got at a garadge sale today
for the good of all mankind

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the irony in how much obi wan hated politicians only for his number one most hated in the senate to be a sith lord...... and he can’t even go “I told u so” to anyone bc anakins on the dark side and all the jedi are dead
obi wan, standing in front of the force ghosts: you’re probably wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today
obi wan, dragging out a chalkboard with a compilation of all the times he said not to trust politicians, direct quotes along the lines of “maybe palpatine should not be allowed council with my underage padawan”, and a big picture of darth sidious in the middle: let’s get started
always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal
Some quick research suggests that only Scots English still uses "gat" as the simple past tense of "to get", with the form surviving in other English dialects only in the archaic "begat" (i.e., the simple past tense of the likewise archaic "to beget"), and I feel like we need to fix that.
Local Man after opening Pandora's Box of Non-Standard English Verb Forms: "He choosed his path, clomb this hill to die on, torned off the chains of prescriptive grammar and drunked from this newfound power; but later he had understanden that he had letten himself grow mad with power, he had shutten the voice of reason advising him against this foolery, he had putten himself on this path of chaos and destruction, setten himself on this one way street, standen on top of a mountain of hubris, forgetten wisdom, and for his trouble had getten only the means of his own downfall" [all of those are attested by the way, this isn't just me making stuff up at random]
The thing you need to understand is that my baseline motivation is causing problems on purpose.
They. They forgor
They were opened in AUGUST 2001. Oh my god. That's both hilarious and tragic.
this is a fucking futurama bit
the among us show being a total gorefest on par with john carpenter's the thing is a really fun choice
the among us show having a gay orgy in the middle of it is another really fun choice
realizing many people don't know about infinity train creator owen dennis' among us show from years ago, which has been trapped in unreleased limbo all this time and was just dumped on streaming this morning with no advertisement. they don't even know about its weirdly stacked cast

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Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:
“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”
“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”
Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”
“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”
“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”
“WHY QUESTION???”
To celebrate Erid getting their sun back on track, Grace asks for some alcohol. There's a small amount left from the Hail Mary and Rocky offers to take it to the science Eridians to see if they can synthesise more.
“Grace want this liquid for celebration.”
“Of course.” They scan it. “You have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.”
“Yes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.”
“WHY QUESTION?????”
Grace is like one of those extremely finicky tropical fish who instantly die if not kept in extremely specific conditions.
Only here the fish can talk and keeps asking you to make it vodka.
Life is beach
I fucking love this video
Big!!! Steppy!!!
Taking her job very seriously
Starting a new religion. I'm not sure about the belief system yet, but the temples need to include obstacle courses of dangerous death traps that need to keep working for at least 2,000 years.

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The best variety of cryptid sighting is very region-locked mythical creature that's never reported as a "cryptid" reported in a place it shouldn't be
"Y'all, I saw a green-skinned creature with a bowl of water in its head" Okay you saw a kappa, what was a kappa doing in Alabama
just gotta throw my all-time favourite Giles scene into the mix
RIP Anthony Head, a truly generational talent.