a tumblr veteran

bitch i went for a physical and that doctor told me I was 35 lbs heavier than last year. i was already feeling like i needed a change but that shit lit me up. i went out running the next day, just a mile. it took me like 13 minutes to do it, but i did it. then i kept doing it for the rest of the week, and the week after. i'm on like week 3 or 4 now: 4 miles in 46 minutes! 2 miles in 21 minutes! i'm actually focused on improving my performance, instead of telling myself that i hate this and need to catch my breath. who tf am i?

went back to the doctor! I dedicated myself to working out/eating better in the year the followed. I took up running, actively went to the gym for the first time. Overall, I haven’t noticed a big change in my body or confidence. My weight went down by 6lbs since my last weigh. Honestly, that fucked me up. I know that muscle weighs more than fat, but it felt a little disheartening that within a year of committing that’s all i had to show. life’s difficult with my job, and relationships. I feel like I’m letting everything slip me by and I’m just watching/letting it happen. I think moving to a new place/starting a new job will fix my problems. But ultimately that will be a temporary high that will ear off like everything else. I always distract myself with something new, shiny. oh to be 26 and not dread it. i’m only young once but it doesn’t feel like i am. One day I’ll look back with regret, but I don’t want to feel that.