Br& New

I don’t want to do anything bar what’s needed to pass uni, I don’t care for eating right eating enough soup and bread for the past month has been fine and I’m losing weight and that’s fine I’m sick of myself and sick of being sick my heart isn’t right so this is fine

Going back over old things I’ve written, this is different to even last year. I know that around this time of year isn’t great because I go over what’s happened. But this time I’m not fussed about reaching out for help I don’t want to talk over anything the talkings been done before , I don’t want to take anything for it so I’m not going to the doctor. He doesn’t understand where I come from on anything he doesn’t understand me

I’m tempted to meet up with my old English teacher to have a chat but don’t want to breakdown in front of her, it wouldn’t be the first time but it’s not fair for her she doesn’t need to hear about this

It’s strange how your eating disorder grows with you, self-aware now and I know what I’m doing to myself and why but I don’t want to stop. I don’t want to talk about anything I’ve stopped caring. I wake up and already want to go back to bed that night. it’s Sunday and I wish this week was over already and it’s sad but I don’t want to go through it