why mike’s problem of telling el that he loves her has nothing to do with karen and ted’s relationship.
we already know that there are many parallels between stancy and mileven as well as jancy and byler. and first of all we need to understand why NANCY couldn’t say steve that she loves him, and to do this we need to go back to that legend scene with jancy getting murrayed, specifically paying attention to what he is saying to them about their internal conflicts.
first one will be jonathan:
speaking to him murray says that jonathan’s trust issues are directly connected to his relationship with dad. nancy herself confirmed that.
and NOW we’re moving to nancy’s part (cause it’s honestly the most interesting one for me).
describing nancy he NEVER EVEN MENTIONS her parents. but why? maybe its only because of her own self acceptance. she is afraid of what other people think of her and that’s her main problem. she is trying to convince herself that she does have romantic feelings for steve when in fact it’s not true because she is already in love with jonathan.
and now let’s talk about byler.) byers and wheelers siblings have so much in common as we all well know. they’ve been raised by the same parents so they have pretty similar models of relationship. nancy and mike’s key problem with building a healthy relationship is not because “they’ve never seen love between their parents” but because they think that it’s possible to make relationship work without deep connection between love partners. karen married ted back then because it was beneficial for her and she was able to accept ted knowing that she would be safe and provided with all her needs to build a family. it was her priority - family - it was her own choice and that’s why it was successful.
but times goes on, her children were born in a different time already, still homophobic and conservative but with more braveness to force that stereotypical life living rules. and now it’s harder for them to live like their parents. they really try to but just can’t do it because they know that they do have the rights to live how they want to, not how everyone else does. all they have to do is to accept themselves for who they really are without worrying what other people think of them. they’re different and that’s okay. it’s their power not their weakness.
SO IN GENERAL, it’s about the fear of being judged. it’s about contradiction of who they want to be and who they need to be.
edit: i forgot to mention that i’ve noticed one cute little detail. in the first jancy kiss there’re blue pillow and yellow blanket in nancy’s room if that makes sense:)