SEE YOU IN CLASS, BITCH

these wiggly fellas are Anguilla dieffenbachii, or New Zealand longfin eels. the ones in local rivers and preserves are known for being gentle, food-driven little weenies that beg tourists for food.

after the divorce jack just absolutely fucking lets himself go. i’m talking getting passed out in dark alleys being passive aggressive towards reaper in meetings and crying at reinhardt about how absolutely heartbroken he is

“reinhardt…have i ever told you how handsome you are? how caring and wonderful and sexy you are?”

reinhardt, with an incredible amount of pity in his heart: no but go on

and then reinhardt pity fucks 76 and 76 cries after.

reinhardt: i can’t keep bottoming, jack

jack: gabe always used to bottom….

they break up cause reinhardt can do better and 76 just won’t stop talking about gabriel

76 tries to break up reaper and roadhog’s family by fucking trying to take in mccree and teach him how to play catch but mccree just fucking stands there while jack throws baseballs at him

. then jack fucking. takes junkrat in and junkrat, who has been relentlessly bullied by his older brother mccree and been told off by his father reaper for never fucking taking a shower and junkrat just latches onto this white man who stinks as bad as he does.

meanwhile jack never goes anywhere he’s so fucking pathetic at this point only tracer invites uncomfortably invites him on christmas and new year’s thanksgiving etc etc and on both of those occasions he gets absolutely fucking drunk and hits on winston

s76: *drunkenly*winston…you’re a handsome…beast…have you ever lain with a man?

winston: sir i am a gorilla

winston begs tracer not to invite him anymore

reaper: hey i need you to file these reports