happy days.

the male couldn’t concentrate long enough to get much studying done,   always getting distracted by his phone or random questions that pop into his head or his need for fresh air.   which was how he landed up there in the first place.   ❛   well,   great.   we can do something then.   ❜   something,   anything.   didn’t really matter as long as he was with kie.   ❛   oh,   wonderful !   i think i blacked out during my first one,   so that’s fun.   also haven’t studied much,   kinda a bad idea.   anyway,   what are we doing ?   ❜

kieran could think of a few things he wanted to do with mason. but he wouldnt say them out loud , not in public at least. so for now kie could suggest something fun , or cute or something to get his mind out of the gutter. “ you’ll pass though ?? ” he asks , resisting the urge to reach out and grab mason’s hand. “ maybe we can go to the park or something. ” he doesn’t really want to go to the park. but he wants to be with mason.

❛   you need a break from finals ?   from working your big fat brain too hard ?   ❜   he’ll find him in smithies ( on accident,   he wasn’t stalking him or anything ) & mason will take it upon himself to sit right next to him without invitation.   ❛   because if you need a break…   ❜   eyebrows wiggle up & down.   he’s a child.

@kixrans.

kie had been high strung all day , had already taken one final and he wasn’t very confident about it and now he was still studying for another one.  he did need a break from studying ,  his head hurt and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take in from his class. “ y--yeah. ” he stutters out , nervous. he shouldn’t be. he knows this. “ yeah. i need a break. how are you finals going ?? “

knows that the initial issue of him being alone with the other started from what kie had said,   but that wasn’t the entire issue.   because as much as kie says he can be good,   or tries to practice that,   the truth of the matter is that mason doesn’t believe that for himself.   ❛   but i don’t know if i can be.   ❜   wants to mention how badly he wants to feel kie’s body squirming underneath him,   or the taste of his lips ( alcohol included at this point ) but he’ll swallow the words,   safety in the distance.   breath silently hitches in his throat,   chest feeling tight,   the words hitting deep within him.   ❛   you know i like you,   right ?   ❜   had gone this whole time thinking kie could never return the feelings,   never had to imagine a world where he’d be finalizing these details for a future potential.   ❛   drunk words or sober actions,   i like you.   ❜

“ oh. ” he doesn’t get up and get closer to mason like he wants to , like he craves to be. stays put and showing mason he can good even if mason can’t be. his chest feels tight hearing mason say he can’t , feels wanted and cared for and everything else he craves so much every day. kie wasn’t meant to be alone. his soul wasn’t meant to wander without another. but he didn’t fall easily , couldn’t trust just anyone. noah and mason were the only two , and he knew he would mess mason up like he did noah. but god , he wanted this. mason’s confession somehow knocks the wind out of kieran , he wasn’t expect to hear that. maybe if he was sober he would run away , tell mason to run but drunk kie’s face got soft. “ you like me ?? ” he asks , unsure if he heard mason right the first or second time.  “  ... you like me ... ”

can only remind himself that this has the potential to happen again,   if kie wants it to.   that he doesn’t need to act on any impulses now because there could be a time without any alcohol where they could both take part.   but god if it’s not getting more difficult to stand there & tell him no.   ❛   i should go.   ❜   says like he doesn’t exactly believe his words,   just knows he should say it,   to back himself up.   but the truth was that he didn’t trust himself without the reinforcement of his words & the distance between them.   it felt hot,   too cramped,   suffocating,   but all in the best way possible…   or,   rather,   worst way possible in that instance.   ❛   i know you could.   ❜   pause,   hands crossing over his chest in an attempt to settle his heart beat.   ❛   are you saying this because you’re just drunk & i’m here ?   could i be anybody ?   ❜

kie’s heart drops to the floor when mason mentions leaving , doesn’t want the other to go. almost promises that he won’t say anything else tonight as long as it means mason will here , sexually or not. it doesn’t matter at this point. kie , like usual , just wanted to be around mason. “ i can be good. ” he says again , softer , almost begging mason to stay. but deep down he knows that it would be better for mason to go , knows he’ll speak more and he’s already said way too much. “ no. ” he says simply. “ couldn’t just be anybody. i don’t want to be around anybody like i want to be around you. no one else makes me feel .... how you make me feel. ” wanted , special , important.

he could feel his chest tighten,   breathing becoming more shallow,   uneven.   is struggling to not think about all the things he’s been craving to do to kie for what feels like forever,   always thought he could never voice those thoughts out loud.   never crossed his mind that kie might be interested,   especially not then,   not when he’s got mase’s head spinning.   so there it was.   he liked guys.   & he wanted him.   ❛   fuck,   kie.   ❜   said as he turned around,   couldn’t take the way he was being looked at,   taking the few steps back to where he found the water,   where it was safe.   he’ll set the bottle down,   warmth in his belly threatening to make him act without thinking.   he needed a second to breathe.   ❛   do you know what i’ve been wanting to do to you ?   ❜   ruin him.   that was a good start.   but it seemed as though kie was the one that was going to ruin mason,   make him say no because of the alcohol running through his system.   ❛   but you know i can’t.   right ?   ❜

kie’s eyes widen a little , and get brighter when mase asks ' what i’ve been wanting to do to you ? ’ and he can’t help the whine that escapes his lips. he wants mason , needs him like he needs air in his lungs. “ would let you do anything , mase. i would. ” he’s almost begging again. he tries not to reach out for mason when the other male takes a step back , he whines again though. “ i know you can’t. i know ... but i want you to. i can be so good for you , mase. i could make you feel so good. ” it takes everything in kieran’s small body to not get on his knees right there , and look up at mase while he’s sinful. but he knows better. knows that this is for the better. he would never regret doing something with mason , he knows it but he doesn’t want mason to feel wrong because he can’t do this sober.

ᴍᴀꜱᴏɴ: so why don't we skip dinner. i mean we could still go but i'm not keeping my hands off u. and u would have to be quiet

ᴍᴀꜱᴏɴ: i absolutely could. that's good to know. i think i'm gonna take our chances tn. keep ur mouth busy this time.

kie: we can skip dinner. i'm not that hungry for food anymore anway. i just wanna have my mouth on you.

kie: okay. you can come over , the doors unlocked.

ᴍᴀꜱᴏɴ: idk i kinda wanna hold u down so u can't move but 🤷‍♂️ just what's been replaying in my mind

ᴍᴀꜱᴏɴ: sober, please. otherwise i won't make u feel good. won't have to try to keep u quiet so the frat doesn't hear u

kie: oh. yeah. you can do that. you can totally do that. i'd let you. 🥵 i'd be good too.

ᴍᴀꜱᴏɴ: i think it's better to tell u in person. i don't want u to get urself worked up

ᴍᴀꜱᴏɴ: that's what i do best. that's what was gonna happen during the party but u know... i couldn't let myself have u just yet

kie: okay but , i wan't to know at least a little something right now , please 🥺

ᴍᴀꜱᴏɴ: i mean i wish u weren't drunk when u said it bc i had a lot of... ideas running thru my mind but 😌 that just means i can save them for later.

ᴍᴀꜱᴏɴ: for sure. definitely not a repeat 🥴 yeah absolutely. this time i'll do whatever u ask me to

kie: ideas ?? what kind of ideas ?? can you tell me ??

ᴍᴀꜱᴏɴ: it's really fine. i'm glad u told me tho. i was kinda feelin like it was one sided u know. since i can't stop thinking about u 😳

ᴍᴀꜱᴏɴ: i could never be mad at u kie 😔 not when ur just still dealing with shit. but maybe we can have a repeat of the night of the party just without the alcohol. if u want

kie: i can't stop thinking about you either , mase. like ... all the time and especially since the party. i didn't mean to be *that* bold but ... i still stand by what was said.😬

kie: oh. yeah , i'd really like that a lot.

ᴍᴀꜱᴏɴ: hi kie i'm glad u texted

ᴍᴀꜱᴏɴ: ur fine man... it was just a lot for me. but i could never think less of u so :) ur good

ᴍᴀꜱᴏɴ: i would say i'm probably more excited but i don't wanna get ahead of myself

kie: thanks mase. i didn't really want you to ... find out that way but it's the only way that i'm brave , perhaps too brave considering ... haha.

kie: hey , mase !!

kie: i just wanted to say i'm really sorry about what happened at the party the other night. i feel really embarrassed and i don't want you to think any less of me.

Emily smiled as she looked at the green-eyed male, a broad smile on her face. She hadn’t known him as well as most of the squad members, but she liked that there was someone that didn’t know everything about her. She could hide behind a happy facade and wouldn’t worry about the other seeing right through it. “Duh!” She exclaimed, nodding enthusiastically at the thought of playing another round. “You’re a great partner to have.”

be smart,   mase.   he had choices to make,   choices that were given to him probably because kie was drunk.   choices that he would have no issue with picking if it were under any other circumstance,   if they were both in the right state of mind.   ❛   so you’re in the closet.   ❜   says it as fact,   like the other could’ve simply said it & mase would’ve understood;   maybe it was a good thing he never had parents,   he never had to worry about things like that.   but he still didn’t know that he’d be ignored when kie was sober,   he hadn’t experienced that yet,   he didn’t know it was coming.   starts to feel like he needs the water himself,   swallowing down the words that he wants to say as he continues to stand there,   the fire igniting.   ( couldn’t trust himself to sit next to him…   not yet.  )   ❛   kieran.   ❜   says like a warning,   like he needed him to stop talking before he got wrapped up in the words,   inebriated or not.   ❛   i’m not doing this with you right now.   you’re drunk.   ❜

was kieran making a fool out of himself ?? maybe. but it really wouldn’t be the first time he had. he lived with half a brain cell most of the time. thought an orangutan was an orange turtle , thought he would be able to keep how attracted he was to mase a secret and now look at him. begging mason for more , to be touched to feel something more than what he was currently. “ yeah. ” for no reason other than because of himself. his family wouldn’t care , and he knew it , but he just couldn’t. if he played professionally he would be the gay player and the thought of being boiled down to nothing except his sexuality made kieran want to riot. years of his life , thrown into the trash because no one would be able to handle a player who wasn’t straight. kie licks his lips and looks up at mason again , his tongue peeking out a little bit. “ i know i’m drunk. ” he says simply. “ but i still want it. i still want you. so bad , mason. please. ” he begs. he knows this isn’t a good idea , knows mason won’t do anything to him because he’s drunk but god , he needs something. “ you’re so hot , it makes me want to die and i can’t stop thinking about you all the time. ”

okay,   so this really must be some sort of dream,   right ?   the fantasy that he can’t get out of his head,   that’s played in teen rom - com’s for generations.   because this didn’t happen in real life;   he didn’t get to be alone with the boy he couldn’t stop thinking about,   he didn’t get to hear him say that.   mase was shocked,   really,   & for a split second wishes he wasn’t sober so he wouldn’t have to be the smart one in the situation.   especially since he’s wanted this to happen for some time now.   feels like he hasn’t said anything in forever,   frozen in place as he couldn’t tear his gaze away from a very clearly drunk kieran.   ❛   what you need,   kie,   is to chill out.   ❜   tries to keep tone level,   calm.   feet carry him to one of the water bottles,   then over to the other male ( maybe he should’ve stayed away,   but at least this was an excuse as he held the water bottle out. )   ❛   don’t say things like that to me.   ❜   not drunk.   not if you don’t mean them.   but god if it didn’t make him want to act up.

at this point kie had no control over himself , gave on trying to fight anything that was going to come out of his mouth and stopped forcing himself to think. “ i’m not kidding when i said i’m gay on the weekends. like .... i guess it’s all the time , but whatever. i just ... do shit when i’m drunk , you know. it’s fine. no one has to know anything. ” sober kie couldn’t even say he was gay , and drunk kie wouldn’t just say it to anyone but mason wasn’t just anyone.  he felt safe with mason , knew he wouldn’t tell anyone. when mason is right in front of him he looks up at him , his eyes shining. “ why can’t i say i need you , mase ?? i do. so bad. ” he resists the urge to reach out and hook his thumbs in masons belt loops. “ i want you so bad , right now , mase. ”

vince was caught up in conversation, mingling before the music got too loud and they need for conversations would get tuned out. he felt out of place and out of style (he usually arrived to parties hours later than they started), feeling like the only nonaffiliated person here. “hey, kie!” he greeted, taking the beer. there was a wave of relief that there was someone he finally knew beyond an acquaintance. “thanks.” he smiled, cracking it open and having a sip. “you doing good, yeah?”

kie liked to hang out with vince , after practice or really any time. he had a little innocent crush , it was nothing. after not letting himself like boys for so long he was finally going have a little tiny crush ( and keep everything bottled up forever , you know ?? ) , it was harmless. “ you’re welcome.” he pauses. “ yeah !! i’m good !! ” cheery as ever !! “ how are you doing , v ?? ”