K i w i b e a r

I need a life that isn’t just about needing to escape my life.

I have been staying awake at nights, wondering if I should tell you.

sometimes i feel like i can be toxic to the people around me. i harbor so many ill, shitty feelings inside, and eventually i just pour them all onto everyone and everything surrounding me. of course i don’t mean to.. but sometimes i have no control over it. or.. over myself i guess i should say. i try to be - and stay - as positive as humanly possible, but fuck. i’m so tired. i’m tired of never having an outlet. i’m tired of being everyone else’s outlet and not being thought of in return. i don’t mean to be sad all the time but i genuinely can’t even help it. i could probably get better at attacking problems and situations as they present themselves so that i don’t always do these massive blow up things. but.. i haven’t reached that point of detachment just yet. i’m still working on me. still a work in progress. hopefully, i get better. at being a better person. soon. or someday, atleast.

I think we were meant to be but we did it wrong.