Kiwi tumblr arc :)

I escaped the trap perfectly fine but I gnawed off my own leg because people would never believe I was being hunted otherwise . They will see the stump and realise I was right, and they'll take it so seriously, and they'll know how sharp my teeth are and how strong my jaw is and how desperate and scared I've been this whole time

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

people make jokes about how people who weren’t allowed to watch spongebob as a kid are always talking about how they weren’t allowed to watch spongebob but as one of the aforementioned people who wasn’t allowed to watch spongebob my insight on the matter is: you would not BELIEVE the amount of times spongebob comes up in normal adult conversations. i don’t often think about him of my own accord but people reference him and i have to say. what? and they say. it’s from spongebob?? and i say. oh i never watched spongebob. and they say why? and i say. i wasn’t allowed to. and then a few weeks later it happens again

bites u but i have abandonment issues so i never let go and am now a permanent ornament to your person

male anglerfish in the abyss

fat dragons (upcoming)

wow this scene in my head is great. once i write all 50,000 words to get there then you'll understand too

personally I'm annoyed by the socioeconomic conditions that made words like "unalive" necessary but simultaneously impressed by the linguistic adaptations young people have made to continue talking about important things while subject to those conditions and I think if you can't hold both of those thoughts in your head you might just be old man yelling at cloud

hikes are very good yes but a deluxe hike is when you are accompanied by a freak with niche nature knowledge. they’re like omg stop there’s a horned valerian varmint beetle here and then you both get to crouch down and look at a bug like :)

water ice cold water glass refreshing sip cold delicious water you want it maybe

I didn't think anything would top "You think you're so great because you have BOATS" (From Napoleon by Ridley Scott) but Nolan managed to surpass all expectations with "Our age of bronze is collapsing"

One unexpected thing about being on T is the way that cis men are also jealous of you

But also it really just goes to show you that testosterone affects everyone differently and that 100% includes cis men as well. Chances are that if you're dysphoric about your voice, height, etc. there is also a cis man out there rn insecure about the exact same things

dude i told my knight no snuggles because i had to sign a treaty and he slammed his visor down in a huff and now he wont talk to me 🤦🤦 oooomgggg bro🤦🤦🤦