Kitty Minaj

Why are you torturing me?It feels like you don’t want me to enjoy lifeI wake with the thoughts of deathHoping to close my eyes and dieFor I can not breath without chockingThe panic attacks getting out of control nowI can’t leave my house at allMy eyes are allergic to lightBoth artificial and naturalFor the migraine has taken over my brain nowThe headaches hurts like hellAnd they come with…

Dear June,I’ve always wondered what will happened if I stop taking medication and in this June, my medication got finished and I suffered a lot. I didn’t sleep for days and I was moody. I had to deal with everyday panic attack and blurry vision…So what I am trying to say is that I am still broken and can’t function without my medication.Broken,©Kitty Minaj

Dear Mental Health,It’s been 13 years...Why cant you just let me go?All these disorders are driving me insaneI’m slowly becoming numb...Depression fuckin my brain up,I keep reminsing about the past,The traumas that killed my soulI feel like an empty shell.Anxiety is stealing my breath,I keep chocking everytime I breathe,My surrendings don’t seem safeI feel like I am not allowed to be…

Dear May,If god exists, can you help me and tell him that I need him. I’m going through a lot right now. I’m not asking him to better my life or take away the pain…I’m slowly losing strength, I don’t know if I can survive this time.This year started with so much negativity and now everything just went left. •I found myself struggling to breathe.•I found myself isolated •I found my chest…

…SpeechlessLovelessCause I’m worthless Breathless…©Kitty Minaj

Dear old body, I miss you!You never let me downFor you were like a feather Flawless, I must say!Dear old body, I miss you!I could wear every outfit No struggles at allStylish, I must say!Dear old body, I miss you!You made me comfortable And I was also proud of every parts of me Perfection, I must say!Dear old body, I miss youBut I’m learning to love all of my curves They don’t define me I am…

I know it's been a while,But I had nothing to writeFor my spirit has had enoughMy heart has giving upAnd my mind is blank!My version is not clear,I am here but not livingAnxiety has taken over,I have panic attacks when I try to breathAnd my hands are trembling all day,Yet I can't tell the doctor...And my soul is full of sorrowI am just feeling numbI no longer care about tomorrowBecause today is…

Dear Valentine; Thank you for being kind to me.I thought I was going to be a reck,For the first time in 11 years, I am alone,Even though I am in a relationship.He didn’t show up nor call, he disappeared!I cried a little then remembered it won’t help,So, I turn on the TV and distract my mind.K-drama filled my soul and I smiled.As day turns to night, I realize that I have me.I am lonely but not…

Dear love,Do you exist?Why haven’t we met?I heard about you many timesThrough elders, they vouch for youThere are songs about you And horny men preach your nameApparently, the world is surrounded by you.And my parents claim that I was brought by you…But I don’t know you!Why?Why can’t I see you or feel you?I have a horny man, but he abuses me.I have elders but they misunderstand meI write poetry…

Mom said, ‘I’m the strongest person she knows.’My psychologist says I am strongPeople think I’m a happy personI smile a lot, so they think I have a great lifeLove thinks I am normalI post about my pain but nobody cares…So when it hurts, I drown alone in my sorrowsFor pretending hurts so much…I was never once strong,I just learn how to depend on me.And I learned that no body cares until you’re…

I needed a hug, but he needed to fuck!When my days turned grey, I had nowhere to run too.He came like a knightHe knew I was hurting,Yet he couldn't stay a nightHe didn't even ask if I'm alrightHe told me he was tiredAnd he said I should also rest beside himThought he was going to give me a hug,But he didn’t. He just snored. When the sun set,He asked for one round,I gave him what he…

Mom said, ‘I’m the strongest person she knows.’My psychologist says I am strongPeople think I’m a happy personI smile a lot, so they think I have a great lifeLove thinks I am normalI post about my pain but nobody cares…So when it hurts, I drown alone in my sorrowsFor pretending hurts so much…I was never once strong,I just learn how to depend on me.And I learned that no body cares until you’re…

For the past few weeks I have been waking up at 2 am.I don’t understand why and it bothers meBecause I always feel this knot in my chestLike something wants to come out but failsI feel like my spirit is about to leave meI feel the depression drowning in my sorrows It’s like I’m in the warm hands of a demonHow can life feel like hell?I try so hard to not feel,I don’t want to cry, the tears hurts a…

Dear January,I know it’s a new year but I can’t feel itThe air is still the same yet newThe environment is cold yet it’s summerThe people are still distant yet close My heart is broken yet beatingMy mind clear yet abnormalBody disconnect yet living I am still a mental patient yet no new start.New beginnings yet afraid to start!©Kitty Minaj

Dear DecemberI’m supposed to be sad,But I’m NotI’m alone but I am okay!Disowned but it’s fineHe doesn’t care but I always knewBusiness is doing fine,So I’ll focus on itThis December I’ll be a BOSS!©Kitty Minaj

Dear November Day turn to nightMinutes to hoursUs to meAnd life to hellYet people still don’t careParents still misunderstand And love still hurtsAnd I’m still broken,Mentally and physically…I’m extremely tired of living.©Kitty Minaj

Dear life,I woke up, tears first and short breath.My head felt woozy and dizzy,My brain hurt so much like I got clouds in it,My eyes were blurry and irritating,My heart hurts, I felt everything and I was choking,My feet felt like I was walking in needles,My soul was full of sorrow and needed release,Then I remembered that this is how I feel every day,No break, no vacation...it's a full-time hard…