i want to interact with people more but what if they kill me

Getting plowed is for the country folk. Here in the city we call it being taken to pound town. And if it's a place with decent public transit, getting railed.

no flirting I just stare at you like I’m awake during surgery

yknow how some museums will have replicas of artifacts for you to touch? they should do that but with things i can put in my mouth. like little candies shaped like roman coins or potsherds or bits of egyptian glass or what have you. let me eat the artifacts. let me in. let me innnnnnn

Not only should I be studied by science, but I should be studied by pseudoscience as well. Let's see of those deranged cranks can work out what the fuck is wrong with me

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

I love making people feel human and accepted. I’m not flirting with you.

tumblr i do not need to have tags whoever finds my posts is the chosen one

I am the very model of a frightened shaking animal

[snickering while pointing at a stranger with my thumb] get a load of this guy. I bet he reproduces through intercourse instead of spores

oh please, "the guy from the mishap at the zoo" was my father. you can call me "the other guy from the other mishap at the zoo"