Mweh?

NOTES: Okay, so here’s the deal. I couldn’t think of an intuitive enough way to incorporate all medical conditions (such as asthma and eczema), so we’re just gonna have to stick to my original script: which is where the Reader has scoliosis. When I was writing this for myself, I wanted to include the struggles I’ve personally had throughout my life. Scoliosis being a major obstacle. This spinal condition will be brought up quite a bit in later chapters, so….yeah. Plays a decent-sized role in the Reader’s health.

Also, there will be a few dark themes in this one, so if you are afraid you’ll get triggered, then there’s your warning. (Don’t worry, there isn’t any gore! It’s just stuff like…well, you’ll see.) Enjoy!

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You backed up into a corner, but hit something fluffy. You froze, and bit your lip. You knew he was right behind you, because you felt the touch of his hoodie. So you whirled around, holding your breath- but no one was there. Your heart skipped a beat, and you really began to sweat. Your hands turned clammy, and your back ducked further into the wall. Suddenly, the lights flickered and he was standing right in front of you. You screamed, but he muffled your mouth with a skeletal hand quickly.

He was even scarier like this up close, and you could see his blue eye flaring wilder than earlier before. Your knees knocked against one another, and you gulped. Sans smiled evilly, just as you had did with Papyrus’s protection before he ditched you. “ya know, i thought we were getting along quite well until you went and decided to tease me.” Sans bluntly grumbled, and you showed a nervous smile. “We are! I was only kidding, Sans. Lighten up.” You tried to push him away from you, but he snapped his fingers and suddenly a huge weight was placed upon your shoulders.

Oh, come on! Not again! You wheezed for air, and Sans grinned. “if you are trying to piss me off, it’s working.” He growled, and raised his left hand. The fingers were outstretched, but in the light they looked like talons. You rolled your eyes. “I’m just trying to lighten to mood, dude. Have some fun around here. I know you need it.” You glared at him, and gained the strength to stand up straight.

Sans’ shit eating smile faltered, and he blinked. The blue in his eye was gone, but the feeling of being crushed remained. You beamed triumphantly, and pushed past him to the sink. When you got there, you splashed your face with water to help relax a little. Sans was gonna give you a heart attack sooner or later, with all the stress he puts on you physically and emotionally. Sans turned to face you, his hand still outstretched in case he wanted to prepare another attack. Right now, he was merely keeping you on an invisible leash.

He grunted, and folded his arms. “i have plenty of fun on a daily basis, thank you very much. i don’t need your pity.” The pressure on your shoulders didn’t fade away. “Hey, ya mind laying off with the magic? My scoliosis can’t take this amount of weight.” You blabbed about, when you suddenly shut your mouth. Dang it. Sans snapped awake, and peered at you with a great deal of inquiry. “‘’scoliosis’? what’s that?” You buried your face in your hands, wanting to cry all over again when you got the news about your back.

“Do we really have to talk about it? It’s kinda personal.” You pleaded, but Sans only smiled wider. “you heard some of my secret shit, now you hafta’ spill yours. it’s gotta be good if you’re this reluctant to tell me. besides, you brought it up-” “Alright, alright! Jeez!” You complained, and threw your hands up in the air. Sans smirked, and leaned back against the wall where you were just cornered. You rubbed your temples, and began to explain your condition.

“Scoliosis is a back problem where my spine isn’t straight. It’s curved like an ‘S’, and it hurts a lot when I don’t wear my brace.” Sans looked completely confused, and instinctively rubbed his own spine. “that doesn’t sound too bad. where’s your brace?” You groaned, and stood up to crack an ache that had grown into a tight knit behind you. “I don’t need to wear it anymore. I wore it for 3-4 years, and it was awful. For the first year or two, I had to wear it 24/7.”

You gazed over to the short skeleton, who gave you a lazy smile. “what’s wrong with that? this scoliosis sounds like it’s a good thing. can be an excuse to get out of work.” You wanted to smack him, but only threw him a poisonous glare. “The brace was bulky, poked at your side like knives, and everyone would make fun of you!” You were on the verge of tears, and Sans instantly dropped his grin. He actually looked a little more concerned.

You wobbled on your feet uneasily, and grabbed a kitchen chair. You sat down in it, and decided to just let it all out. “‘Here comes Fatty (Y/N)!’ ‘Look at her, she’s a screwed up girl who will never get anything done worthwhile in her life because of her disease!’” You choked on my words, and covered your mouth from sobbing completely. Sans stood still in the corner by the fridge, not daring to move.

Sans stared at the trembling human girl by the kitchen table. Her eyes were wide, tears almost about to slip off the edge and spill. Her hair was distraught, and her fingers were clenched white against her lips. He could barely hear what she was saying under her breath, but made out the words, “It’s not a disease… I’m not a monster….” Sans was slightly offended by the last part, but shook it off. Frisk did say that the humans on the Surface were a lot crueler than the monsters in the Underground.

Sans stepped towards (Y/N), and she flinched. But he kept going, until he was right beside her. She was panting heavily, and her shoulders were bouncing up and down from trauma. The skeleton frowned, and lifted a hand shakily outwards, until he stopped mid air. What was he doing? He barely knew this girl. She knows too much, and obviously isn’t afraid to test Sans when she wanted. If he got too attached, he could get really hurt. Like what happened with Frisk. At first, he really did care for the human. But after countless resets, Sans had taught himself to not feel anymore.

However, now he was feeling something. Something strong; something that no one ever could give him besides Frisk. And even then the kid didn’t provide efficiently. Sans felt sympathy for (Y/N), and knew how scared and depressed she must be living down here in this hell hole. She doesn’t know her full capabilities, and probably misses her family on the Surface. if she’s even from there. Sans wanted to trust (Y/N), to be sure that she was a good person just dealing with intense emotional struggling. But he couldn’t. He did the same for Frisk, and they failed him. And with emotional struggle, one would get to the point where they’d do anything to relieve themselves from some of the pain. Sans understood this perfectly.

You couldn’t help yourself. You bawled your eyes out on that table, not caring what Sans was doing. All you knew was that he was standing right next to you, listening. Your depression and self wallowing came back, and you felt like kicking yourself for letting Sans take on some of your personal burdens. “Do you think it’s been easy for me? My scoliosis is only scratching the surface of my problems. And I’m not just about to dump them all out on you. That’s not fair to you. But still, you can’t judge a person by a first impression, Sans! You can’t just assume they’re a bad person who wants to hurt people when really all they want to do is have someone to talk with. No friends….no support…it makes you feel all-” “suicidal.”

You whipped your head to him, and the whites in his eyes were gone. He seemed lost in a trance, and grimaced. He blinked his eyes back to normal after a few silent moments. You were stunned, and sniffled pathetically. You wiped your face, and snot covered your arm. You stood up to go to the sink to wash your gross arm, but something caught your left shoulder. It was Sans, and he was smiling sadly at you. You figured he understood what you were saying, since he had finished your sentence for you on the dot.

“(y/n). you aren’t a monster, and you have friends. you have toriel, frisk, my brother, and me. we may be only part of a video game-” he paused, and you bit your lip anxiously, “-but it’s better than nothing. the point is, you’re here now. and you’re a strong, healthy human. and although i have been judging you all day, from the way you act towards me and my brother to your sense of humor, i really do see how unique and good hearted your soul is.” You smiled, but your eyebrows drooped empathetically. Sans chuckled, and shook his head.

“i could tell from the moment i judged your soul in the forest, that we have many things in common. and although you can’t see the future for this particular timeline-” He beamed a genuine smile, which made you chortle quietly, “i have a feeling that we were gonna be good friends. no matter how much to like to push my limits.” The two of you laughed, and it went without saying that if you were to ever turn on him and hurt his loved ones you were pretty much dead.

A strong sensation burned inside of you, and you decided to go along with it. You grabbed the skeleton by the blue of his jacket and pulled him in for a hug. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and he froze. But, after a few awkward seconds, he returned the embrace by placing his hands on the small of your back. You dipped your burning cheeks into his hoodie, and took a deep breath. The smoothness of his white bone rubbed against your temple, and the grooves from his hands tingled through your shirt. You could really get used to this. “we, uh… have a lot to talk about.” Sans murmured into your shoulder, and you nodded.

NOTES: Wowie, humans! This story is going better than I thought it’d be. Thank you! More bad language in this chapter, and it’s probably going to be like that throughout the whole story. What can I say; I have a thing for curses. Pretty long chapter today, just cause I felt like it. Enjoy!

(Once again, “(Y/N)” means “Your name”. Just a reminder, in case any newcomers stop by to read!  (◕ω◕✿) )

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His eyes narrowed, and studied your figures intently. Finally setting you down after a few moments, he pointed to the kitchen. “GO SIT DOWN AND WAIT FOR DINNER. I CAN’T HAVE EITHER OF YOU MAKING ANYMORE OF A MESS IN HERE, NOR DO I NEED TO HEAR ANYMORE OF YOUR PUNS.” Papyrus glared directly at you, which made you giggle. Sans walked past you, entering the kitchen, while you stayed behind with Papyrus.

“Paps, do you need any help?” You asked sweetly, tugging gently on Papyrus’s red scarf. Papyrus spun around to face you, and smiled sadly. “NO THANK YOU, MY DEAR FRIEND (NICKNAME). I APPRECIATE YOUR OFFER, BUT I CAN’T LET A GUEST SLAVE THEMSELVES AWAY HELPING OUT THE HOST. BESIDES, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU AND MY BROTHER WERE HAVING QUITE THE CONVERSATION. I WOULDN’T MIND CLEANING UP IN HERE.”

He winked at the part where he mentioned Sans, and you blushed brightly. “A-are you sure?” You stammered, cringing at your awkwardness. Papyrus outstretched his arms, and you gladly accepted his offer for a hug. “I’M POSITIVE! I’LL BE IN THERE SOON. THIS WON’T TAKE LONG.” He held you tightly against his armor, and you smiled. Papyrus was such a sweetheart. After you let go, you wove to him and made your way to the kitchen. The subconscious of your mind was happy for a break from the depression you were in. You wondered Sans felt the same way.

Sans took a seat at the the right seat next to the head of the oak table, and tapped his fingers impatiently. He leaned on his right fist, and mindlessly started tapping his foot. Just when he looked to see why (Y/N) wasn’t there yet (it’s literally a five foot walk), he picked up on a little of her and Papyrus’s conversation. Listening carefully to their words, he smiled when she asked if she could help.

i knew she wasn’t that bad of a person. As he was about to argue against it, thinking that she might just be messing with him and making him believe she was good, (Y/N) accepted Papyrus’s offer for a bear hug. And it looked pretty damn genuine from where he sat. Calling off his nerves, he lost some of the concern that had begun to eat away from inside his soul earlier when he had to show the human who was the boss around here.

You practically skipped into the kitchen, only to find Sans watching you once more. Observing. Analyzing. Taking mental notes, if you will. Your cheeks stayed at their high temperature, and you pulled out the chair across from Sans. However, it pulled backwards as soon as you went to sit down on it, and your butt hit the hard tile with a thump. “Ow!” You cried out, but Sans chuckled under his breath. You got up, and gave him a playful glare. This time, you made sure that the chair wouldn’t run out from under you.

“i’m just messing with ya, ki- er, (y/n).” Sans corrected himself, and you nod in approval. You leaned forward quickly, resting your elbows on the table and smirking at the small skeleton in front of you. “Are we going to finish our conversation? Or are we gonna talk about something different?” Sans responded with a shrug, and you squint curiously at him. “eh, i don’t care. if you want to, but i feel like it’s gonna mainly be insults about me and how i can’t guess age for shit.”

You winked, and sat up straight. “Damn right it was gonna be.” “ay, watch your fucking language.” Sans snapped playfully, and pretended to give you an evil glare. You scoffed, and shot right back at him. “Wouldn’t that be reading, wise guy?” Sans opened his eyes, looking as if he were about to snarl back a good comeback. It never came, and he sat in silence. However, that didn’t mean he wasn’t was determined to make sure you wouldn’t win this feud.

He ruffled his jacket like a gangster would, and propped an arm up on the table. “you think you’re so clever. but can you think of a good comeback for this?” Suddenly Sans stood up from his seat and teleported out to the living room. As soon as he left he was back again, holding that half empty bottle of ketchup. You raised a brow, and inspected it. “It’s a bottle of ketchup.” Sans rolled his eyes, and crossed his arms. “no duh.” You winced at him, and an incredulous look spread to your ears.

“What the heck am I supposed to do with this?” Sans gazed at you with half lidded eyes as if you were an idiot. “you eat it. jeez, and i thought you were this wise human that knew everything-” “I KNOW THAT YOU EAT IT!” You shouted with frustration, nearly breaking the bottle in two. A little crack spread across the surface, and Sans’ eyes widened. Then he went back to his sarcastic and carefree attitude. “so do it.” “Do what?” He smiles, and raises a non existent eyebrow. “eat it. the whole bottle.”

You contorted a face of pure disgust, and shoved the damaged glass container away. It bumped into Sans’ jacket, which he took in his hand and examined. On the outside, he had a poker face on so strong he didn’t think that you realized how shocked he was that you actually cracked the thing. It would at least had to take him in his most fearsome state to shatter it just like you did, where no amount of physical pain or struggle mattered to him.

“what? are you too chicken?” Sans smiled, thinking that would affect (Y/N) like it would Undyne. Undyne would never let a challenge go down. Neither would Frisk or Papyrus. But (Y/N) just rolled her eyes, and remained firm in her seat. “Don’t even start with that crap, Sans. I’m not a chicken. I just think that drinking ketchup like you is a feat that can only be done with monsters who have no tongue or tastebuds.”

Sans made a couple of chicken and rooster noises to try and change the girl’s mind, but she was stubborn. No matter how much he beckoned, she would not take the condiment and down it. He frowned, and uncapped the bottle. “who said that monsters don’t have tongues?” (Y/N) tilted her head, and whispered a quiet “what?” under her breath.  “Well, one: you’re a skeleton. You are made up of bones, and bones only. The tongue is a muscle, which doesn’t classify as a bone. Two: apparently monsters don’t have tongues if you guys eat weird and gross food like cider made out of spiders or snail pie! Gross!”

You blanched, and stuck out a tongue for drama. Sans looked like he could care less about what you thought, and shrugged. “you’re wrong about both of those statements. welp, more for me.” And then it was….gone. Just gone. You scoot your seat forward, watching the ketchup go straight through his teeth like water. You stared at his spine where his neck should be, and saw how it was moving; just…no ketchup was coming out. It’s like the ketchup was turned invisible on its way down.

After he guzzled the empty glass with the words, “Grillby’s” in a fancy calligraphy, your jaw gaped open with utter amazement and shock. Sans wiped his mouth, and flinched when he saw how intently you were staring at him. His cheekbones tinted a slight blue from all the attention, and rubbed the back of his skull sheepishly. “no manners when others are eating either, huh?” He commented, which snapped you out of your dumbfounded stupor.

“How did you do that?!” You asked excitedly, your grin spreading to one the size of a plate. Your eyes were saucers, and you’re sure Sans was creeped out by it… but you were so astounded that you wanted answers immediately. “uh…do what?” He stuttered, and looked back at the living room for Papyrus. His brother was on his way over, and Sans was relieved that he wouldn’t have to handle this topic on his own.

(Y/N) gave him an aggravated but stunned look. “You know exactly what! How do you eat?! The ketchup…it just went...fwoosh! Right through your teeth! How’s that even possible?! It’s just- I just- gah!” She threw her hands up in the air, and Sans grinned contently at her amazement. Frisk had asked this question too, but Sans just gave her a simple answer that he thought (Y/N) would smack him for.

She went silent, and left Sans on his own. Papyrus walked behind her, but she didn’t notice. Her eyes were focused on Sans’ eye sockets, it was actually quite unnerving. Sans sweat nervously, but he didn’t know why. just answer it like you always do, man. Sans told himself, and managed to speak. With a wave of some jazz hands, he smirked as (Y/N) glared at him with annoyance. “magic.” He stated, and refused to elaborate any further. Guess he didn’t need Papyrus’s help after all.

She growled angrily, and turned around in her seat to face Papyrus. so she had noticed him. Sans thought bluntly, and crossed his leg over the other. He watched (Y/N) whine to his bro the same question she’d just asked him, but unlike the short skeleton Papyrus went into a whole spiel about it. With the amount of infatuation the human held, Sans thought she would fall out of her seat just by leaning into Paps’ words.

“SO BASICALLY, WE PUT THE FOOD INTO OUR MOUTHS…” Papyrus started off, and you rolled your eyes. “I think I got that already. But where does go?” Papyrus pointed to his abdomen, and she glanced downwards. “AS YOU CAN SEE, WE HAVE NO STOMACHS. BUT THAT’S OK, SINCE MONSTER FOOD IS MADE UP OF MOSTLY MAGIC AND DISAPPEARS ONCE YOUR BODY ABSORBS THE FOOD’S CALORIES.”

You blinked into space for a few seconds, then asked another vital question. “If it just…vanishes, why do you guys have a bathroom?” Papyrus posed heroically, and his cape flowed behind him with the draft coming from the window. You didn’t understand why the window was open in the first place, since Snowdin was still in the middle of a bad snowstorm. “I LIKE TO TAKE SHOWERS WITH MY COSTUME ON! ALSO, I LIKE TO BRUSH MY TEETH AFTER DINNER ANYWAYS! SANS DOES TOO.”

You switched your attention back to Sans, who nodded in agreement. You gave him another incredulous look, and he stared right back at you with a “oh, come on!” glare. “what? i like to have good hygiene just as much as the next guy. i’m not overly clean; just enough.” Papyrus laughed, and it scared you for a second. “TELL THAT TO YOUR ROOM. IT IS ONE HECK OF A MESS IN THERE COMPARED TO MINE. PLUS THE FACT THAT YOU NEVER WASH YOUR SHIRTS OR SHORTS-” Sans stood up immediately, and tried reaching to his brother’s mouth to close it.

Since Papyrus was over a foot taller, the action was pointless. “paps, shut up! my room is fine! and i do wash my clothes. i’m not a hobo or somethin’.” Papyrus shoved him backwards, and proceeded to take out some more pans and ingredients for a new batch of pasta. “YOU ARE A SACK OF LAZY BONES, BROTHER.” You snort at that, and Sans threw you a warning look to stay on his side. Of course, you didn’t.

“How lazy, Papyrus?” You asked sweetly, and the taller skeleton whizzed around quickly. He laid his hand on his hips, and began to list off all the things Sans doesn’t do. “WHAT DOES SANS DO? BESIDES GO TO GRILLBY’S, OF COURSE. EVERY MORNING, I ALWAYS HAVE TO WAKE HIM UP FOR SENTRY DUTY, AND MAKE HIS MEALS! SANS ALWAYS FALLS ASLEEP AT HIS STATION, AND NEVER RECALIBRATES HIS PUZZLES!”

You laughed hard to Papyrus’s burns, but Sans did not. He had been begging his brother to stop, but eventually quit and simply let his brother ramble onwards. That didn’t get you off the hook though, as you were the one who encouraged it. Sans teleported over to you, and looked down upon your curvy figure with dark, empty eye sockets. Normally, you would’ve been frightened, but Paps was in the room. Sans couldn’t harm you in front of his innocent brother.

Knowing this, you smirked a shit eating grin and got out of you seat. “oh no you don’t.” Sans murmured loud enough for only you to hear, and you ran around to the opposite side of the table from him. There was a good six feet between the two of you, so you continued to taunt him. It was like asking for a Death Wish, but you didn’t care. You were being dangerous, but with fact that Papyrus was there you knew you weren’t in too much trouble.

“So what you are saying is that Sans is a baby that constantly needs the Great Papyrus’s help changing his diaper?” You spat evilly, and Papyrus laughed from across the room. He was cutting up different sorts of vegetables together, and let out a gleeful “Nyeh-heh-heh!” “EXACTLY. YOU TOTALLY UNDERSTAND ME, DEAR (Nickname).” You smiled at Paps’ compliment, but flinched when you looked at Sans again.

His face was a dark blue from embarrassment, and if looks could kill, you would be minced meat. A sinister aura floated off him, and you gulped. His eye sockets were pitch black, and a teal flame flickered violently in his left eye. He teleported beside you, but instinctively you jumped over a chair and hid behind Papyrus for protection.

Clinging onto his scarf, Papyrus looked down at you and smiled. “WHAT’S THE MATTER, (Nickname)? IS SOMETHING WRONG?” You shook your head “no”, but Papyrus didn’t believe you. “NO, THERE MUST BE IF YOU WANTED MY ATTENTION! IS THERE SOMETHING MISSING FROM THE PASTA?” You prayed that he would disagree, since Sans had teleported right after you dodged his first grab at your hair and was now approaching me fast.

NOTES: This chapter will be the beginning of a ton of P.O.V. switches (point of views), but it’s gonna be a little finicky. I’m not going to directly say when they’ll happen, but hopefully they’ll be noticeable enough. Thanks for your patience, and have a wonderful evening!

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Papyrus let out an inhuman scream of frustration, and threw the pot of sauce up into the air. The metal hit the ceiling with an insane amount of force, and as you predicted, tomatoes went flying everywhere. Sans teleport right beside you under the table, and collapsed onto the floor with laughter. He began pounding the floor with a fist, and blue tears welled up in his eyes.

A dazzling teal color spread across his cheeks; since his chuckles were contagious, it caused you to fall back laughing as well. You lay side by side, howling and cackling, as Papyrus punched a wall and ran off to go fetch a mop. “I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! SANS, WHY MUST YOU RUIN ALL THINGS INNOCENT AND PRECIOUS?!” His voice was raw, and his skull fumed with anger.

You wrapped your arms around your sides, and gasped for air. All over your body aches formed, but you eventually calmed down within a few more giggles. You heard a content sigh, and looked to your left to see Sans sprawled out beside you with his hood flipped over. He followed your motion of sitting up, when you bumped your head against the table above.

Thankfully, your good mood saved you from the unexpected pain. You just merely rubbed your head from surprise. “jeez, kid. that was beautiful. i didn’t think you had it in ya.” He smiled widely, and wiped his face. You grinned bashfully towards him, and saw how the blue in his cheekbones died down. You snickered when a final glimpse of his cerulean eye escaped his eye socket before he shut it completely and summoned the magic away.

“Thanks. To be totally honest, I have a huge love for puns. Maybe even more than Toriel.” You rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly, and looked away from Sans. He raised a skeletal hand and pushed back his hood in awe. “really? like, an actual love for them? not just because they’re awful?” You nod happily, and chuckled.

He grinned, and realized he had a newfound respect for the human. Frisk always disliked his puns, and rarely played along. It was good that a human with a sense of humor fell into the Underground for once. “that’s cool. now we can be pun buddies.” He smirked, plastering a wide smile upon his face and winked. Jabbing an arm into your side, you giggled and gently hit him back.

“No need to elbow me, Sans. I get the point.” You did some jazz hands, and made a motion that was similar to hitting drums after a joke was made. Sans dropped his semi-fake smile for a second, staring at you in amazement. At first, he didn’t want to have anything to do with another human in the Underground. Especially one as complicated as (Y/N). Now…. he was having second thoughts. For the first time in a while, Sans lowered his guard and beamed a bright, genuine smile.

(Y/N) seemed to notice, because her face tinted a slight pink shade and looked away. Sans wondered why she did that, or why she seemed to always bring a hand back to brush some hair afterwards. He guessed it was just an odd habit, one that was just a nervous tick. It wasn’t a bad thing; he had plenty of his own. Like when he was flustered, he would raise his hood instinctively. But when was the last time he did that?

You shut your eyes, and brushed back some hair nervously. It was a bad habit, in your eyes; you were sure that Sans had probably picked up that you do it often around him. Oh well, you couldn’t help but be bashful around the skeleton who made you love Undertale in the first place. You remembered something that annoyed you a bit from earlier, and carefully proceeded to ask Sans about it.

“So, Sans… why do you keep calling me ‘kid’?” He raised a non-existent eyebrow, and leaned backwards casually. “whatcha’ mean?” He answered calmly, not knowing where this was going. You turned away, and rest your hands neatly on your lap. “Well… I’m not a kid. Frisk is, so you can them that, but I’d rather just stay (Y/N) or (Nickname) or whatever.” You laughed uncomfortably, which only made Sans more confused.

oh, right. this human knows everything there is to know about the underground, its history, and its future. just not this timeline. figures. i’m gonna have to get used to that. Sans yawned lazily, even though he wasn’t tired at all. Little did he know that (Y/N) was secretly bewildered by is ability to do this, even though he wasn’t supposed to be able to open his mouth at all. “you’re not a human child? i know that you’re a skele-ton bigger than the kid, but…?” His voice trailed off, and he blinked blankly.

You bit your lip, waiting for him to continue. He didn’t, and an awkward tension filled the air underneath the table. You’d completely forgotten about Papyrus, who was being unusually quiet cleaning up the living room and kitchen. “Heh, yeah. If you think about it, Frisk is about 6-7, right?” You asked the short skeleton, who’d gone back to laying down nonchalantly under the table. “i didn’t know that; but of course you did, huh brainiac?” He scoffed, and you would’ve taken it offensively it you were in a bad mood. But, alas, you were in the exact opposite.

You giggled softly from his weak insult, and continued. “Actually, no matter what way you do the math, I’m over two times their age.” You glanced around the living room, searching for the loud skeleton. Where the heck was he?! Sans chuckled something about you being old when you put it like that, then grumbled a deep “well then how old are you, human?”. You rolled your eyes, wanting him to call you by your actual name rather than just “human”. That was Papyrus’s pet name for you, and him only.

“I’m 16.” You state casually, not really caring. Sans did apparently, because he flinched and bolted upright immediately. “you’re 16?!” He asked, stunned for some unknown reason; you chuckled and replied an awkward “yeah?” Sans blinked, and stared ahead. His pink slippers were tucked in close to his chest, and his big blue jacket looked very comfortable on him. In fact, it looked like it was 3 sizes too big. Like his black basketball shorts.

He fiddled with his thumbs, thinking hard. He seemed to be concentrating on the staircase across the room. “Is there something wrong with that?” You sneered playfully, and he whipped his skull back to you. “no! not at all. i just figured….yah know…” He made a circular pattern in the air with his hands, trying to get you to finish the sentence. Remembering back to earlier in the conversation, you found a good response. “What? You thought I was around Frisk’s age?”

NOTES: Some bad language in this one, just as a forewarning. Also, thanks so much for the support and notes! I’m sorry I haven’t updated this in a while, so I made it extra long. Thanks!

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Hoisting yourself up from off the carpet, you walked back over to the couch. You glared at Sans, but he just ignored you and propped his legs up across the seat where you would’ve sat. Not even wanting to bother arguing with him anymore, you decided to head into the kitchen and do what you normally do when you’re depressed. Eat.

As soon as you look through the fridge and find that nothing really edible is in there (just some rock hard meatballs and burnt spaghetti), you slam the door close and shove your hands in your short’s pockets. Sans was fast asleep on the couch, but you didn’t dare try to lift him. Just as you were about to sit on the floor and sulk by the corner, a crash the volume of a plane exploded behind you.

You whipped your head around, thinking that the pet rock may have fallen off the table mysteriously; but it was just Papyrus marching into the house. Right towards you. You let out a small yelp causing Sans to bolt awake, jumping nearly a foot high. He rubbed his skull tiredly, looking extremely annoyed, but you could care less at the moment. He was being jerk, so you weren’t gonna mind him.

Papyrus was the one who you were concerned about; next thing you know, you’re being hoisted into the air and spun around faster than a top. Hard, skinny bones hugged you close to a crimson scarf, which was as soft as sheep’s wool. You clung onto the taller skeleton’s shoulders to keep yourself from falling off, and demanded to know why he was holding you in such a vigorous way.

When you spat out a rude threat about how you would throw up all over the floor if he didn’t stop soon, you barely noticed Sans give you a warning glare to chill out. You rolled your eyes, but complied. “GREETINGS HUMAN! I SEE THAT YOU HAVE AWOKEN FROM YOUR SLUMBER.  I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM JUST SO HAPPY TO HAVE ANOTHER HUMAN FRIEND! FRISK CAN GET QUITE BORING SOMETIMES.” He boomed, and you winced. But, alas, you smiled anyways when the skeleton set you down.

You wanted to faint from the vertigo, but forced yourself to stay upright until Papyrus finished speaking. Sans seemed to respect that. “Ugh….” You tried responding, but as soon as you wanted to work your vocal chords bile shot up your throat. Your eyes widened, and you quickly brought a hand up to your mouth to keep from vomiting. “MY, HUMAN! YOU LOOK GREEN! SANS, I DIDN’T KNOW HUMANS COULD CHANGE COLORS.”

Sans shrugged, and winked to his brother nonchalantly. “eh, this one can. she doesn’t have a specific dominant soul trait.” Papyrus gasped, and clasped his hands together excitedly. “WOWIE!! THAT MEANS YOU ARE SPECIAL, UM… WHAT WAS YOUR NAME AGAIN?” He tilt his head to the side innocently, and kneeled down to your level. Normally he wouldn’t have had to do that, but since you were hunched over trying to regain your sense of gravity, Papyrus took it upon himself to keep eye contact throughout your… pleasant conversation.

“U-ugh…(Nickname).” You stammered exhaustively, holding up a finger to give yourself a minute. “’U-U-UH (NICKNAME)’? IS THAT YOUR NAME? I LIKE IT! IT’S NOT AS GREAT AS ‘PAPYRUS’, BUT IT WILL DO.” Papyrus swept his hands under your arms, and pulled you up straight. Releasing you like a sack of potatoes onto the ground, you just barely caught yourself from puking onto the rug. The impact of coming down was enough to make you stumble back and desperately clutch the TV.

“Wait, Paps. That’s not my actual-” You tried calling back to the giddy skeleton prancing about, but he just posed heroically and flicked his cape behind him to make it move. “NOW THAT I KNOW YOUR NAME, DEAR HUMAN, I SHALL MAKE US ALL DINNER!” Papyrus stormed into the kitchen, and pots came clashing down onto the floor. You cringed from the noise and your motion sickness, but froze completely when Sans called back for his brother.

“hey papyrus.” Sans cupped a hand next to his teeth to project his voice louder than the clanging of metal nearby. Papyrus poked his head out from around a corner, and had a questioning look on his face. You dart your eyes back and forth between the two, and gasped when Sans asked what was for dinner. “WHY, SPAGHETTI OF COURSE! THE MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS IS SURE THAT YOU’LL BOTH LOVE IT!” And with that, the younger brother disappeared back to his culinary masterpiece.

Sans flicked his pupils over to you, and snickered when he saw your look of horror. You knew that when Frisk had to try some of Papyrus’s spaghetti, they hated it. Now Sans had to go and make you eat it too? You wanted to ask if he would take you to Grillby’s or even Muffet’s instead, but the thought left as quickly as it came. By the way Sans was treating you, it was as if he despised your mysterious knowledge about… well, everything.

You sighed, and slumped down next to the TV. You brought your knees close to your chest, and your eyelids drooped heavily. You wanted to go to sleep badly, to just drift off into a land of dreams. Away from the skelebros, away from your certain death by spaghetti, and away from your feelings of rejection. But, the more you thought about it, Undertale is your land of dreams. Why is it treating you so poorly?

It’s not treating you poorly, (Y/N). The little voice in your head said. It’s just your emotions that are taking over your experience down here. Remember how thrilled you were when you fell here in the Ruins and met Toriel? When you first met Sans and Papyrus? Those guys are your favorite characters! Shouldn’t you be overjoyed every second you are with them? You thought sadly, but countered with the person in your mind nonetheless.

Yes, but I don’t know how to do that right now. When I was, ah… rejected, my heart shattered. Now Sans, my favorite person in the entire Underground, is being a dick when he doesn’t even know it. He doesn’t know how much I adore him, and he most certainly doesn’t know that I’m actually a really good person. He just thinks I’m a threat to Papyrus, which I don’t blame. I should be treating Paps like the cute little cinnamon roll he is, but rather I’m letting my depression turn into crankiness and I’m taking it out on my only friends. If the skeletons even consider me their friend. Mumbling a few more curse words under your breath, you weren’t surprised when Sans coughed slightly to give you a hint to stop.

If only he knew what I was going through right now. If only he knew how confused, heartbroken, and depressed I was. Then he would at least have the decency to quit being such a rude host. You growled at your own words, but it came out more like a pathetic whine.

Across the room, Sans raised a brow in concern. He didn’t know why, but he had some sort of odd sympathy for the large human girl. It was a feeling in his gut, tugging at him to crack some sort of joke to make her feel better. His brain fought strongly against it; this girl was dangerous. She has a very, very vast amount of info within her that she is not willing to share, which by definition meant that she was up to something. But… What if she wasn’t? What if this human girl was just as lonely, sad, and useless as Sans felt about himself?

Out of the goodness of his soul, he decided to help the human get out of her mood. But it was done reluctantly; like he was only doing it because he had to. Like he was ordered to do so by a parental figure, or something. Which was ridiculous, because this was his house, and he payed the bills here.

“papyrus!” Sans shouted again, but Papyrus didn’t come out of the kitchen this time to answer Sans. He simply yelled back, focusing hard on collecting bowls and plates. “WHAT IS IT, BROTHER?” Sans kept his gaze on you, watching as you refused to lift your head up. He frowned, but kept going. “is there a specific type of pasta we’re eating tonight?” Sans asked, and smiled when he got some sort of reaction out of you. You had raised your head up slightly, and plastered a puzzled scowl upon your face.

What is that guy doing?? Does it really matter what shape of nightmare we ingest? You thought sourly, and were a little appalled when you saw that Sans had been staring at you the entire time you were fighting against your own brain. Your heart skipped a beat, and cheeks burned. Dammit. I can’t even look at him without blushing. Jesus, (Y/N). You really got issues, if you’re in a heavy depression over a guy and wind up blushing for someone completely different. I really am freaking desperate after all…

You sniffled away some silent tears, and brought an arm up to your face. It didn’t help cover your red cheeks, but at least it got rid of any evidence that you were crying. The last thing you needed was anyone’s pity.

Sans watched curiously as he saw you raise a tan hand and wipe your face. Your cheeks were glowing brightly, but your expression seemed miserable. It never occurred to Sans that you may be crying, but he did know that something was seriously up. Because after inspecting a such a soul like yours, the way you have been making your first impression appear did not seem accurate to who you actually were at all.

He grimaced, but switched back to a grin before anyone could notice. However, it’s not like anyone would, mainly because when he peered back into the kitchen again he saw how Papyrus was busying himself by stirring a pot of homemade sauce together. “NO SANS, WHY DO YOU ASK…?” Sans smirked, and prepared for the barrage of attacks he was about to blow.

You thought furiously to yourself, and could feel those stupid eyes the whole time. When you had caught a glance of Sans’ smile whilst wiping your face, you felt slapping the shit out of yourself. Of course Sans knows what you’re going through. He’s the only character in the whole freaking game who actually mentions how he has to deal with depression every single day of his life. I’m only suffering a little compared to the amount of time that the poor skeleton must worry over his and his brother’s safety.

Always having to be weary of your surroundings…watching out for nearly everyone you know, since you love them…when does he ever get a break? You feel like a complete douche bag, and continue to belittle your inner confidence with harsh words. Sans knows what it’s like to be confused, since he’s the one who wants to know how and why I came into this world. I don’t even know where to start looking inside myself either; guess I’m not going to be leaving the Underground for a while. Which isn’t bad, since I have such lovely monsters to keep me company.

But here I go again making this all about me. That’s why he rejected me; I’m a selfish know-it-all that was looking for love to fill the crack caused by loneliness inside my heart. And when I grew too attached, I knew that I would take it really hard when I was eventually turned down. Heartache is all I’m feeling, but Sans would understand that too. Because he’s lost his brother before to Frisk, who was actually Chara, who was actually-

“well, i’m just saying…” Sans shrugged on the couch he was laying comfortably on, and you snapped out of your stupor immediately. “why make one type of pasta when you can have more? just imagine the-” he turned his skull to face you, and clicked his teeth for effect, “-pasta-bilities!” Your jaw dropped, and you heard Papyrus scream.

“GAH!! I KNEW IT WAS A PUN!! IT HAD TO BE!!! UGH!” Papyrus shrieked, and you burst into laughter. Sans flinched, and was astounded at the noise coming from your mouth. He thought you’d hate his joke, but luckily that was an incorrect assumption; thankfully, he had way more puns up his sleeve. “paps, get me some paper and penne, cause orzo ‘bout to make you guys do cart wheels for spaghetti!” Sans stood up from his seat, and reached behind the couch.

You perked up intently, and wiped your eyes from tears of laughter. Papyrus stomped out of the kitchen, still holding his huge pot of tomato sauce. “SANS, STOP THIS INSTANT! YOU’RE MAKING THE HUMAN LEAK!” Papyrus shouted, but Sans didn’t listen. Instead, he pulled out a trombone from behind the couch and let out a comical riff. You sat up straight and laughed hard, shoulders shaking happily from joy. All the sadness inside you disappears, and you’re left with a rush of euphoria.

“now, let me patella ya something, kid,” Sans winks at you, and instinctively you  bring a hand up to your face and cup your warm cheek, “if i were to try and explain all the different was that one could come out of their shell using spaghetti, i would run outta air inside my lunguini’s! now that wouldn’t be gouda.” At the end, Papyrus had steam coming out of his ears. He was stirring the pasta sauce so hard that you thought it would explode everywhere; foreseeing the future, you ducked under the table with the pet rock just in case. “ENOUGH SANS! THIS IS EXCESSIVE, EVEN FOR ME!! LOOK, EVEN (Nickname) IS HIDING!” He shrieked, pointing to you under the table.

Waving back to him, and he scoffed. You giggled at that, and Sans seemed happy enough that he would end his comedic act. “no need to be so saucy, papyrus. that’s gnocchi way to act towards our guest! say, kiddo. what do you make ricotta all this?” He set the trombone down, and balled his hands into fists. His shit-eating grin was gigantic now, and practically begged you to retort back with a pun of your own.

Papyrus, on the other hand, literally cried aloud to do the opposite. “PLEASE, HUMAN! SPARE ME FROM MY BROTHER’S TERRIBLE JOKES! DON’T LET HIS BAD INFLUENCE ON YOU AFFECT YOUR ANSWER!!” He stopped stirring, and awaited your response anxiously. Sans was laughing over your laughter, which made you smile and your heart skip another beat on the inside. Your face was beet red from nearly hacking up your lungs, but at the last second a perfect response came into your head.

Character List

Beast:  Red: A 1 hp monster that is the face of his mafia family after his father (Gaster) abandoned them.  He appears very strong but is hidden away for his safety by his brother.  He is a puppet figure that uses flashy magic to keep his people in line.

Belle: Reader:  Has the ability to control reality.  That makes them an asset any mafia family that can get a hold of them.  They run away from the Capital (Asgore’s turf) and got caught in Red’s turf.  They want to stay so that Asgore can’t get at them and they slowly, SLOWLY,  fall for Red.

Marciel:  Gerson:  Reader’s father, he kept them hidden as long as he could but was separated from them when Asgore took the reader.

Cogsworth: Boss:  Second in command (does all the real work)  He protects Red and manages all the day to day work along with a majority of the big decisions as well.  Knows about his brothers hp.

Lumiere: Grillby:  Manages the front of the house (yes there is a bar there).  Knows about Re’s hp.

Wolves:  Royal Gaurd:  They attack the reader when they run away from Red.  They also work for Asgore.

Gaston:   Undyne:   Is sent after the reader.  They were betrothed so that Reader would truly become part of the family.  (secretly gay as all he\)

LeFou:   Alyphys:   Undyne’s companion/minion.  She constantly pines after Undynes affections.  (not so secretly gay as he//)

Mayor:   Asgore:   Had Reader in his possession before but they ran away.  He sends Undyne after them.

Miss. Potts: Muffet:  Head of the kitchen.  She helps the reader feel at home in the manssion.

Chip:  Monster kid:  Muffet adopted them in a sense.  They are a scullery boy of sorts.  They look up to the Reader because of their kindness and power.

Enchantress:  Gaster:  Is responsible for Red’s low hp (from a magic ‘accident’).  The only way to stop his hp from lowering is if he never gains LOVE but manages to give and gain love.  He died righ after that ‘accident’.

Plumette: Frisk:  They are about 19, nonbinary, and they flirt with everyone.  But Grilby claims they have been dating for a while and always looks out for them.  Frisk has a tendency to get in a lot of trouble.

The triplets:  Catty and Bratty:  Undynes #2 fans (Alphys is #1)

Caracters not in the original (will only appear in crack fics):

Chara

Reckless

Azriel

Ace

Toriel

this is my first time doing one of these but i think it turned out pretty well!

“I can prove it mathematically! Actually– let me grab my whiteboard!”

idk if the Underfell bros would ever fight over their dad, but if they did… it’d probably go like this…

bonus:

send me the first sentence of a fanfic and i’ll write the rest (I modified it because a lot of the ones I got for this meme are so. good.)

Pairing: Sans x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: Seems the stork is more than some old myth.

Notes: LISTEN I TRY TO DO ALL MY REQUESTS IN ORDER BUT WHEN I SAW THIS….I HAD TO WRITE IT. APOLOGIES. The sentence sent to me is in bold!

Sans stared at the baby and the baby stared back, it’s little pudgy hands clasped tight on the letter Sans had found with it on his doorstep.

NOTES: Once again, (Y/N) means “Your Name”. A heads-up for the future chapters, this fanfiction will have some parts where it mentions that you have “an illness”. This can be asthma, eczema, whatever. When I wrote this book for myself, I always incorporated my severe scoliosis in one way or another; so, uh, yeah. Just a warning.  ヾ｜￣ー￣｜ﾉ Enjoy!

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His permanent smile had lost all warmth to it, and you sweat nervously. Where would I begin? As you tried to find your words, the silence seemed to be eating you from the inside out. Minutes passed by, and you hadn’t said anything useful to Sans. His “brow” furrows in slight aggravation, and he chuckled.

“if you’re not gonna talk the easy way, you are really not gonna like what happens next, bucko.” Venom was spilled with his last word, and you finally decided to say something, anything, before you were skewered. “Y-you’re right. I’m not from around here. I-” You sighed, and the whites in his eyes returned. “I know it’s hard to believe-” “at this point, i’ll believe anything.” The hair on your neck rose, and you twiddled your fingers. “I know it’s hard to believe, but I already know who everyone in the entire Underground is, was, and will ever be. Without even meeting them.”

His eye sockets widened with shock, but he remained quiet as if to say, “keep going…?” Burying your face in your hands, you planned carefully on what words to say next. When none came to mind, you just blurt out the first thing on your tongue. “I know about the resets, Sans. And I know you do too. Because I know you.”

You glanced over at the skeleton to see what he made of this, but his expression was blank. As if he’s heard all this before. However, in a way, the surprise in his facial features made its way out by the shaking of his pupils. The small action made you wonder if he were going to cry. “I know how much you hate the timeline resetting, and how you always pray to Asgore that this time Frisk will do a Pacifist run. I know what happens when Frisk decides to go through a Genocide run, and how it’s really Char-” “stop.”

You paused, and bit your lip. Sans was trembling violently now, and gripped his hands on his head. It seemed like he were on the verge of having mental breakdown, which concerned you so much that you turned to face him completely and even risked stretching out your hand towards him. He scoot away from it immediately as if it were poison, and you retracted it harshly. There you go again, (Y/N). Acting like the desperate scum you are.

His breaths were shaky, and obviously very difficult to take in. “how…?” He snapped his gaze back to you, and you saw a hint of blue streak through his left eye. “You wouldn’t understand me even if I told you. That’s why it’s so difficult for me to explain; I don’t know of a way to put this gently.” “just spill it. i can take it. i just want answers.” Sans tried to regain his composure, and slowed down the rattling of his bones.

“Are you sure? What I’m about to say might be… intense.” You sucked in a breath through your teeth, and you could see how Sans was bracing himself. He nodded confidently, and his cool attitude returned. “Alright, here goes nothing… Sans. Are you aware of what a videogame is?” He tilt his head sideways, and his grin faltered. “uh…yeah? why?” You winced, and continued.

“What if were to tell you… that everything you do and say is programmed into a video game? That your entire reality is already pre-determined and is used as an entertainment purpose for humans like me?” Silence. Sans remained still, and processed the huge piece of information given. “are..are you trying to say that our universe has several copies to it that people like you use everyday? for fun? that there are several ‘sans’ and ‘papyrus’s’ out there?”

You smiled slowly and nodded reassuringly. “Yep.” Sans stared right through your complexion and began to laugh. You laughed along too, confused that he was taking this so well. He stands up, and begins pacing back and forth in front of the TV. “tibia honest with you… i kinda already knew that too.” It was your turn to be bewildered, considering that he was warming up to you by using puns during a time like this.

“my dad… that’s the one thing i can’t remember. i don’t remember his name, or what he did for a living, but i know that he was on the verge of telling everyone about this sorta thing. at least, that’s what some people say. there were these timelines where it felt like the kid was acting odd, and new people just sprung up outta nowhere. the kid told me what those monsters said, and how they were ‘void of all color’… how they said to never speak of the man who ‘spoke in hands’.”

You knew of the man Sans was describing, and the characters that you had to hack into the game’s files in order to find out more of Undertale’s secrets. However, for some odd reason, you just couldn’t place a name on him. “I know who you’re talking about.” You point out, and rubbed the back of your head sheepishly. Sans whipped his gaze back onto you, and stood still in astonishment.

“you do? then who is he? what’s his name?” Sans demanded, taking a step closer in your direction with every question. You raised your hands up quickly, shaking them to ward the intimidating skeleton away. “I-I mean, I know him! I know how I know of him! I just can’t place a name, which is weird, because I know this whole game like the back of my hand…” You whispered that last part, and refused to look back into Sans’ deep eye sockets.

Disappointed that he couldn’t get a response more than that out of you, he shoved his hands back into his pockets and glared back down at the floor in thought. “how did you find out who he was?” Sans inquired, and raised a non-existent brow curiously. Your heart raced, and mind pondered. I can’t tell him that I was controlling Frisk! I can’t tell him how I was a user of this game; he’d hate me! He has always been the one to ask Chara if she liked using his friends like pawns in a game…

“I’m afraid some things must remain private.” You simply stated, crossing your arms boldly. Sans took a step back, surprised by your sudden courage. He scowled, and pointed a finger at you accusingly. “that’s not fair! you know everything about me, apparently, but i know nothing about you! like how i don’t know if you’re a human from ‘beyond the surface’, or how you got here! how your soul is more than one color, and how you already know about the resets! it’s like you’re a god from another world or something; a being so powerful that you know how to manipulate the timelines in order to find out every little thing about them, and how to solve every problem within them!”

Your cheeks burned slightly from him calling you a god, but you forced the feeling to go away quickly. “Life isn’t fair, Sans. You already know that. I don’t even understand most of your questions either, and that’s what I’ve been spending my whole day mulling over! Yes, I may know what will happen in every timeline, but this one is different. Never before has two humans been in the Underground at the same time. Especially not one where one of the humans has got a butt-load of issues like me.”

Sans groaned, and scratched his skull frustratingly. A idea seemed to pop into his head, and he glared at you menacingly. “knowing what has or ever will happen is a big responsibility. and with a responsibility like that, there’s gotta be a great deal of power there too. so the question is-” His pupils went dark, and the atmosphere around you went cold. “-will you use that power for good or evil?”

He stepped close to you, and a blue light began to shine from his left eye socket. You started freaking out, and stood up straight. You tried backing away from the terrifying skeleton now approaching, only to run into a wall. “I-I-I don’t know if I have any powers like the ability to reset! Frisk-” “frisk already gave me their answer; and depending on what kind of ‘run’ they were doing, it varied. so how about you?”

He raised a hand out of his pocket, and you felt your chest be put under so much pressure that it was like an elephant sitting on top. You pressed your back as far into the wall as you could, wishing you could disappear. Why couldn’t you just say that you would never use your power, whatever that may be, for evil? Because you were Chara at one point, (Y/N). You chose to make Frisk go down the Genocide path and slaughter all those innocent monsters. Like Sans. You can’t promise that you won’t go down that route again, knowing you and your emotions. How crazy they can tend to be when you’re put in the right situation.

You gripped my shirt, and pant heavily. The air was being crushed out of your lungs, and the blue embers in Sans’ eye were growing stronger and more impatient. His hand was clenching into a fist harder and harder each second, which meant he was getting ready to kill you if you didn’t give a satisfying answer. As you lost control over your own body, your legs slumped to the floor and wound up with Sans towering over you. You weakly gazed upwards to see that your soul was turned a royal blue and beating very slowly but steadily. Your head felt like lead, so you dropped it to the floor limply.

As if that were a bad move, you felt your soul get tugged upwards and slammed into the wall behind you. You were raised up to eye contact level with the short skeleton, and his eye was completely flashing now. He had his hand raised, where his telekinesis was keeping your soul in place. “kid, i’m gonna need an answer soon. papyrus will be home any minute, and i can’t risk a possible threat living in the same home with my bro.”

He doesn’t even care about his own safety, just Papyrus’s. You would find that admirable, except for the fact that you might be killed any second now; from either suffocation or impalement by bone. Making up your mind, you choked out a soft response. “what?” Sans grasped the front of your shirt, and brought his face so close that you could feel his breath on your face. “i couldn’t hear you. then again, i don’t have ears.”

You wanted to laugh at his pun, but now wasn’t the time. Obeying his command, you repeat yourself anyways. “I said that I would never use my power for evil.” Sans smirked, but didn’t back off. “and?” You winced, and gasped for a breath. “And what?” He snickered, and winked. “and that you’ll never treat papyrus poorly?” You rolled your eyes to the best of your ability. “Of course, your majesty.” You scoffed sarcastically, and he let you go. Thumping to the ground, you wheezed like an old rubber toy. You clutched your chest, not caring that your soul was back to its normal array of colors. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and his pupils returned to their normal appearance.

NOTE: The acronym “Y/N” in this and following chapters will stand for “Your Name”. I plan on having Papyrus calling you by a nickname, so… yeah. Enjoy!

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There stood Sans, yawning and slamming the door closed. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and stepped inside the living room. Opening his eye sockets lazily, he noticed how you had made yourself quite comfortable on his couch; and had your soul out in front of you. He snapped his eyes open wide, and non-existent eyebrows raised. Spinning around hastily, he covered his eyes and threw his hood over his face.

“jesus, kid, put that away! what the hell are ya doing?!” You remembered how it was some sort of big deal of having your soul out in front of people, and caught the bottom of it in your palm. You helped guide it back slowly into your chest, and breathed a big sigh. Peering out from under his shield, a blue glow seemed to shine extremely faintly on his cheekbones. But, like always, it was probably just your imagination.

He brushed a small skeletal hand over his bald skull, and took a seat across from you on the opposite end of the couch. You wipe away any remaining tears, and try to act natural. Instead, you make yourself seem suspicious. You glance over at the short skeleton, observing his stature. Sans was only 5 feet tall, which made you and Papyrus look like giants next to him. Paps, being 6’2”, was a bit taller than you, but it was fine. For your age, you were an Amazon back in the real world. You could never meet a guy that was your height. Except for…him…

You didn’t notice it at first, but Sans had apparently brought home a ketchup bottle with him from Grillby’s. It disgusted you slightly by his choice of drink, but who were you to judge? “so… ‘whatcha been doing? i kinda find it hard to believe you just had your soul out for no reason.” Sans smirked slightly, bringing the bottle up to his face.  Your face burned faintly from his question, but your gaze on the floor below you. His eyes were observing your every movement, and it was very unnerving.

Your voice choked on your words, and with every passing second you felt stupider and stupider. Without thinking, you wound up biting your lip hard enough to draw blood. This caused you to remain silent. Sans seemed to pick up on your unease, and changed topics. “uh…anyways, i never got your name. last thing i remember is you hugging me and playing along to paps’ puzzles. this is the first time you’ve been awake since.”

You snapped out of your stupor and gained the courage to speak. Your soul glowed a pulse of orange through your shirt, and for a fleeting moment you saw Sans look downwards. His permanent grin dropped, and frown slightly at the change in color. The first time he saw it shine through your clothing was when you first met him and it glowed a beautiful pink-red. Perhaps he saw it change into another variety of colors as you went along your journey through the woods of Snowdin.

“O-oh, right. Sorry. My name is, well, it’s (Y/N). But my friends call me “Nickname’.” You smiled as big as you could manage in your depressed state, but stopped when you felt like you were being too “desperate” again. Sans lift his grin, and cocked his head to the side. “(Y/N), huh? i’ve never heard that name before. it’s different.” He closed his eyes, and took another swig of his drink happily as if he were remembering something pleasant.

“My name is different? Heh, your name is different. I’ve never met a guy, or skeleton in that matter, who’s named Sans!” You chuckled, and shook your head. Sans was silent, and awoke from his daze. He scowled curiously at you, and leaned backwards. “how…how do you know my name?” You peered over your shoulder curiously, and raised a brow in confusion. “You told me in the forest when I first ran into you, remember? You had the whoopee cushion and-” “no i didn’t. i never introduced myself, and yesterday i didn’t bring my joke bag with me to my sentry station.”

You gulped, and mentally gave yourself a smack across the face. Dammit (Y/N), that’s what happened for Frisk! Not you! Why did you have to open your big mouth? You began to sweat nervously until the Lord granted you a perfect excuse. “Um, well, I heard your brother Papyrus mention it quite a few times while you were cracking jokes along the way in the forest.” You smiled genuinely, proud that you came up with an acceptable answer for once in your life.

“huh? oh, yeah. right. for a second there i thought you were some kinda human who already knew that, in a weird and creepy way. guess not. right?” He chuckled lightly, but his whole demeanor was terrifyingly serious and suspicious. He knows. He knows that I’m not from around here. I’m so screwed- Cutting yourself off from panicking too much, you laughed along and went back to staring at the floor rather than looking into his demanding and knowing eye sockets.

Silence passed, and to keep yourself from running out of the room, you tapped your foot. Sans flicked his pupils to rapidly moving appendage, then back to you. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him shift a half inch closer and glare at the clock. You did the same, and sighed. Why couldn’t Papyrus be home now? He could relieve all this tension with his loud, booming voice and take Sans’ attention off of me- “look, pal…i’m going to just skip to the point.”

You froze, and went stiff. The color drained from your face as images of Sans in the Judgement Hall flashed before your eyes. You could tell that he knew how stressed out you were. He decided to take advantage of it in order to get his point across. “i know you aren’t from around here. or the ruins. or anywhere in the underground. i’m uncertain if you’re from the surface; if that were the case, frisk would’ve notified me by now that you were a friend. but since she didn't…”

He blinked, and stopped speaking. You opened your dry mouth, in an attempt to say something, but he held up his hand hastily. He can’t trust me. I knew it was too good to be true; that Sans would automatically see me as a friend when I ran into his arms. “i think you’re getting the picture, based on that expression you’re wearing.” You forced yourself to look at him, and it turned out that he was resting his head on his hand. His arm was propped up by the couch’s armrest, and a sly smirk was plastered upon his face. A non-existent eyebrow raised in triumph, and gazed upon you lazily.

You nodded, and tried to scoot away from him. He didn’t make any sudden gestures that would show the action made him unhappy, so you did. Yawning, he stretched his arm with the ketchup bottle and set it onto the table. “that being said… when i first bumped into you, i knew you were a good person. after all, you’ve got no LOVE on you whatsoever.” He smiled, and shut his eyes. “i don’t know much about you… but let me tell ya something. i’m not your ordinary monster, as you’ve probably figured out, but that doesn’t mean i’m one who likes to be left out on important info.”

HEY! Since it’s fanfic friday, can you do one with UT Sans and the “enemies to lovers” trope? it can just be a few scenes where the relationship changes. u dont have to ofc but idk i really like those kinds of stories :‘0c

Summary: You’re an enigma wrapped in a mystery, and he’ll do anything literally) to get you to solve yourself. (Or the obligatory fic wherein sans goes from wanting to dunk you to wanting to kiss you)

Notes: AAAAAAAA?????? AAAAAA. Mcfrickin. Love this trope. Bless u. blessed prompt. i had too much fun writing this help.

Writer: Mod Chrissu

The first time he meets you, it’s weird as hell to him.

Firstly, you are probably the best looking human he’s ever laid eyes on. Your hands are balled up and pushing into your hips, your head craned to look up with a sneer at somebody much taller than you.

When he sees who it is, the attraction that he felt immediately was replaced with intense anger.

His brother is holding a grocery basket, one that he knows isn’t his because it’s completely barren of any type of pasta or sauce. His grin is a little shaky, as if he’s apologetic, but also scared. There’s a few food items on the floor that are lying abandoned, so he assumes that the basket must have overturned in some way and Papyrus went to help you. So why did your expression hold so much fury?

He mosies on over, hands stuffed in his pockets. He’s gonna start out calm and cordial, and hopefully this human won’t give him a reason to dunk them into next Saturday. “hiya. what’s up?” He greets, keeping his tone relaxed and chipper, hoping that this goes well.

“SANS!” The way his brother says his name, almost in relief, makes his opinion of the human drop even further. “HELLO, BROTHER!”

You turn to face Sans, your face portraying annoyance. If it wasn’t for the fact that you looked like you had a problem with his bro, Sans might have considered using a sly pickup line. But no, you open your mouth and erase that possibility. “Oh, he’s with you?” You imply, pointing to the taller skeleton, who’s fidgeting nervously.

His grin turns a little steely. He doesn’t like to see Paps so scared. “yeah. s’there a problem with that?”

“Maybe. Anyways, listen here, dudebro.” Attention aimed at Papyrus again, mouth twisting into a scowl. “I got this. I don’t need somebody swooping in and saving me.” You rip the basket away from Papyrus and bend down to pick up the food on the floor, eyes widening when you see the damage done. “Damn it, the cans are dented!”

“listen buddy, i’m sure you’re just misunderstanding–” His patience is wearing very thin but an agitated sigh cuts him off.

“Look, buddy, I already had to walk all the way here because my piece of shit car broke down, I don’t need some random guy telling me off.” Your body language radiates don’t fuck with me today, and he doesn’t really understand why. “I’m sorry, but I’m not in the mood.” Food retrieved from the ground and in the basket, you straighten up and give both he and Papyrus a pointed glare. “Now if you’ll excuse me, which I don’t really care if you do or don’t, I have to replace these cans.”

Without letting him speak, you turn on a heel and stomp out of the aisle, leaving him in dumbfounded silence. What the hell was your problem?

—

The next time he sees you, it’s without you knowing.

It’s been a few days since what happened in the grocery store, and frankly he’d be fine with never seeing your face again. Somebody so filled with negativity and hatred for others for no reason…He doesn’t like people like that. He’s glad he’ll never see you again.

(Except he does.)

He hears a scream before he sees the blur of a person being tossed out onto the sidewalk a few houses down from where he’s standing. He almost runs over to help until another human shows up. They step out onto the steps angrily, if their rigid posture and antagonistic stance is any factor.

“Get the fuck out, you waste of space. Don’t even know why I bothered with you. You’re nothing but shit.” They spit out.

“Nonono, no please, I’ll be better, don’t do this please–” The voice is so full of fear and regret, and it’s so familiar. He knows that voice. It stirs a forgotten anger in his chest, and finally he registers that it’s you, the human from the grocery store.

Your clothes are ripped in places, there’s bruises all over your arms, the shirt you have on is riding up and showing off even more bruises on your back and sides. Your knees are scuffed from your fall, and you’re barely keeping your torso up off the ground. Your form is shaking, soft sobs emitting from your mouth. What a moment to be observing you. To avoid being seen, he ducks behind a nearby trashcan.

“You were lucky, you had me to love you! I’m probably the only person on this Earth left that actually gives a fuck about you! None of your friends or your family actually care, they’re faking it!” The human on the steps barks, and he notices a glint from their hand. They throw it in your direction, and the bottle shatters on the ground a few feet away from you, pieces scattering all over the pavement. “Get the hell out of here, you damn slut!”

The human on the steps goes back into the house and throws out a bag of clothes before slamming the door. Sans turns away from the scene, expression a mixture of shock and confusion. He has no idea what to think. Obviously, the dude that just kicked you out is an asshat, but did you deserve it? He’s not the kind of guy to wish pain or suffering on anybody else, so no, he supposes you don’t. He goes to pick himself up off the ground.

Except you pass by. You notice him there. It’s silent for one scarily long moment.

“How much of that did you see?” You inquire roughly, voice cracked from crying. A pang of pity ripples through his SOUL.

“…all of it.”

Your face is unreadable, you just grip the bag you have a little harder. It’s plastic, so your fingers sink into the material like clay. “…Fuck off.”

He looks up at you in surprise. “what?”

“I said fuck off.” You hiss, your glare piercing. “Want to know why I got kicked out? One of the cans I brought home from the store, that your idiot brother made me drop? It was dented. So fuck you, fuck your brother, fuck everything.” You grit your teeth and march off, pulling the bag over your shoulder.

He scrambles up and after you, though a tiny inner voice questions his motives. What is he gonna do? You obviously don’t want to see him, your little proclamation proved so, so why is he chasing you? He squashes down the thought, unsure if he wants to know why.

“look, kid, i’m sorry.” He skids in front of them, chest heaving with the extra effort he put into catching up with them. “i don’t understand your attitude, or why you act the way you do, but acting that way isn’t going to change anything.”

“You know nothing about me, why the hell are you trying to do here?” You snap, dropping your bag. Despite being bloody and scratched and obviously injured, you still stand as if you’re super girl about to face off with her greatest enemy yet. 

“i have no idea. i don’t really know.” He almost whispers it, because he doesn’t really know what he’s doing, or why. “but i don’t want to be the reason you hate the world so much. at least let me help you find a place to stay for a bit.”

Your mouth twists, and a range of emotions flip through your face: confusion, anger, sorrow, and finally it stops on that flat mask you had on. “..Okay, fine.”

He breathes out a sigh of relief.

—

He finds you a hotel to stay in, and while he wouldn’t usually pay for a stranger’s stay, he does for you. Seeing the person you had to deal with, the way they treated you…Something told him that wasn’t the only time they treated you badly. That’s a scary situation to think about, so of course you would be bitter and angry. He pays for a week, hoping it’s enough time for you to figure out what you need to do or for you to get a job.

He escorts you to your room, and it’s quiet but it isn’t uncomfortable. You’ve been through a lot, he guesses, so talking about it right now would be a little much. Instead, as you both reach your room, he asks to come in for a moment.

Puzzled, you agree, and let him in. It’s a small room, with a dresser pushed against the wall adjacent to the doorway, a lamp in the corner, and a bed opposite the dresser. Another door is in the far corner, which Sans assumes is the bathroom. There’s a table beside the bed, and on it is a pad with paper and a pen.

He picks them both off and scrawls his name and number on it, ripping off the page and giving it to you. “the dude that kicked you out looks like another bad time waiting to happen, so if he shows up here, don’t be afraid to call me, ok?” 

The hand that takes the paper is a little shaky. Your eyes skim over the words written, and the corner of your mouth quirks. “’Sans’? Like the font?”

He shrugs. “i get that a lot. anyways, i need to get back, paps is worried probably.” He points to the paper in your hand, shooting you a reassuring smile. “remember, dude’s a bad time. call me if he comes back. or call if you need help in general. seeya.”

With a blip, he’s gone, and you stare at the space (now replaced with air) he was just in. The most dumbfounded look creases your brow.

“…What the fuck did he just do?!”

—

Funnily enough, after the incident, he cannot stop thinking about you. He passes the place you used to live every day, and when he does he wonders if you’re okay. He’d check on you, but he did say that if you had a problem to call him. So he leaves the situation be, letting it be in your ballpark. If you need him there, you’ll call.

It’s been a long day, so he decides to go to Grillby’s for some ketchup and conversation. It’s been a while, and he hasn’t visited the surface expansion of Grillby’s very much, so he should fix that.

He teleports just outside the entrance and strolls in to a chorus of greeting from the regulars. Doggo, Greater Dog, and Lesser Dog are wrapped up in a game of poker, with Dogamy and Dogaressa watching on the side and holding each other. There’s a couple humans hanging around, along with a few monsters that didn’t usually frequent the establishment underground milling about. He waddles to the bar and hops into a bar stool, leaning on the counter and sighing, eyes shut.

“heya grillbz, what’s cookin’ good lookin’?”

A snort is his answer, but it sounds nothing like his favorite fire elemental.

He opens up an eye to see you, clad in a button up dress shirt with black slacks, an apron tied around your neck and waist. You look nothing like you did that night, which relieves him so much. There’s a hit of yellow and purple on your hands from the bruises you sustained, he notices, as you clean out a glass with a towel. Your nose is scrunched up from the bad joke he made, a small smile lighting up your face and causing a soft hue of blue to blossom on his face. 

“kid? that’s you?” He asks, opening his eyes fully, now very alert. 

“’Kid’ is not my name, but yeah, it’s me.” You also throw in your name, since you’ve neglected to tell him. Wow, your demeanor has changed completely since the grocery store fiasco, and it’s such a breath of fresh air. It’s nice to see you smile, even if it is a smug smirk.

“well damn, you clean up nice. how ya been doin’? i’m assumin’ the guy hasn’t been bothering you?” At the mention of him you tense, which leads him to backpedal, “wait, shit, sorry–”

“It’s fine! It’s fine.” You cut him off, the smirk having been wiped off your face and replaced with a small frown. “They uh, haven’t been bothering me. Haven’t heard a word from them since what happened.”

He relaxes at this. “good, good.” He breathes, slumping against the counter again. 

“…What can I get ya, Sans?” You ask, setting down the glass you were cleaning and propping your arm against the bar, quirking a brow at him. It’s sassy as hell and it isn’t helping that you’re gorgeous.

“your number.” He realizes what he said in the middle of saying it and slams his face into his palm as you laugh. “…i am so sorry. i’m used to crackin’ jokes like this with grillby.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. What do you really want, though?”

Bless you and your nerves of steel. “uh, bottle of ketchup.”

An incredulous look crosses your face, but you grab one and slide it to him anyways. He twists off the cap and tips it back, almost spitting it out with laughter when you choke.

“Sans, the fuck?!” You stammer, and he wishes he could take a picture of your face because it’s so priceless. Maybe your nerves aren’t as solid as he thought.

—

If somebody told him six months ago that he’d fall head over heels in love with a human, and a human that initially hated his innocent soul of a brother no less, he’d laugh and call them crazy.

Thinking about it now, it’s not as crazy as it seemed. 

Because with every laugh and smile he gets from you, his SOUL thuds a little more forcefully in his chest, his face a touch blue-r, and he finds himself trying so hard to get them out of you that he doesn’t notice how deep he’s getting into this.

He doesn’t notice until his brother does.

“goin’ to grillby’s, want me to bring you back somethin’ paps?” He asks, sticking his head into the kitchen. Papyrus isn’t as oblivious as everyone believes him to be, and he proves it now as he smiles knowingly at his older brother, which only causes said brother to raise a brow bone in silent question.

“BROTHER, YOU SEEM TO BE GOING TO GRILLBY’S A LOT IN THESE PAST FEW MONTHS.” Papyrus stops stirring the pot of noodles he’s attending to on the stove to look at his brother. He notices, but it’s not like Sans makes an effort to hide it. He can see it in the way that he smiles sometimes when he gets a text from you, or how excited he is when he knows he’s about to see you.

He know what Sans looks like when he’s obsessed about something, or worried, or determined. Papyrus thought he’d seen it all. You’ve brought out a different side of him that Papyrus loves to see, because he look so happy nowadays.

“yeah, so? i used to go everyday when we were underground.”

“SANS, DEAR BROTHER, NOTHING EVADES THE WATCHFUL EYE OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS!” He exclaims triumphantly, pulling out his best smile. “…I am happy for you, Sans. I hope you bring them by soon to introduce them to me, because I would like to thank the person who has given you so much joy.”

It’s a rarity when Papyrus speaks in a regular volume of voice, and it shocks Sans to his core. “whaddya mean, pap?”

Papyrus laughs, turning back to his pot. “OH BROTHER, DON’T TELL ME YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED!”

“im-pasta-ble, i notice everything.” Sans’ smile turns wicked as Papyrus screeches out a warning to him and then he blips out of the way of the taller’s wooden ladle being thrown at him.

—

It’s become a habit, for him to watch you as you work. The way you move around the tables at the restaurant, the polite smile you give to the customers and the drastically different smirk you send him when he tosses out a pun, the lingering touch between you two when you give him a ketchup bottle. 

It kills him, in a way, because he knows what he’s feeling. He knows very well what this feeling is. His love life isn’t a very active one, but he does remember a few years back when he used to have a crush on Toriel, and this feels like that except new. It’s no longer a nice thought, but a fire that consumes his thoughts whenever he sees you. It’s not the heat of the blush on his face, it’s the ghostly imprint that your fingers leave on his. His SOUL doesn’t flutter, it beats purposefully. He knows what this is.

However, it’s not him that says or does anything about it.

As your shift comes to a close and he prepares to leave, you stop him. The place is almost empty, just a couple people wrapping up their meals or nursing their last drink. You look nervous, teeth gnawing on your bottom lip.

“what’s up?” He asks, and he almost jumps when you set a hand on ones of his, the one still on the counter top.

“Uh…There uh– There must be something wrong with my eyes, be-because uh–” You clear your throat, and he’s never seen your face go so red, wow. “Because I can’t take them off you?…”

He pauses for a moment before the statement processes through his head and his face goes full cerulean. “uuuuuuhh….”

“What…What I’m trying to say– Is it hot in here? Jeeze.” You tug at your collar, smiling sheepishly. “But uh. I was wondering if maybe you’d like to, I dunno, go see a movie? Or go somewhere for coffee? I’m sorry, I just really, really like you and I couldn’t be quiet about it anymore–”

You stop when you notice his expression. The poor skeleton’s face is completely blue, and his pupils have morphed into tiny hearts. He grabs your hand gently, and before he can chicken out he sputters out a reply.

“yes, hell yes. i’ll uh, i’ll text you later?”

It’s take a moment to sink in but when it does you smile so wide that it triggers his own. “Yeah! That’s cool! I’ll uh, be waiting? Yeah.”

Reluctantly he lets go of your hand and waves with his other, before disappearing and reappearing at the entrance of the inside of his home. 

You asked him out. You asked him out. He’s so giddy, he struts farther into the house and laughs, and it’s such a happy sound. He’s never heard such a sound come out of his body.

“YOU SOUND PLEASED.” Papyrus notes from his spot on the couch in the living room, wherein he’s doing some sort of human exercise program. Sans just beams in reply, hopping up the stairs two at a time to get to his room. “WHAT’S HAPPENED?”

Papyrus knows. He just wants to hear Sans say it.