Karissa's love life

January 8th: I told my best friend (call him guy 1) I liked him. We went in dates and hung out all the time his family adored me. Including his future sister in law.

February 14: he surprised me at my home and gave me a teddy bear and flowers. So sweet!

End of February: I told him I needed to focus in God. And ended things. after that I felt like I was deranged for my fear of relationships.

April: I met a guy( guy2) who I had seen around school at a lock in, he got my Snapchat and from there I told myself the only way to conquer my fear is to just do it. So I began talking with him on a relationship type level from the start. He seemed very goal oriented and exactly what I was looking for. We started dating and it got serious very quick. We had just made ourself official on the 2week of talking and when I took a nap he called me hysterical that I didn't respond to his messages. My friends all hated him. And I felt God pulling me away from him because he didn't have the faith. So I ended things with him. Which turned into him trying to use God against me. Although the relationship was not the greatest. He found God. I take no credit for his salvation or his bringing to God. I think it is amazing however that God used that situation to bring another soul to him.

May: I started living with one of my closest friends due to some financial issues with my family. We had some pretty good times. Highs a lows. Still living with her currently

June: I passed my junior year of high school. And after the school year ended I moved to Idaho with my grandma. I got 5 jobs that summer. All the while I was talking to guy 3 from my church. He was super sweet.

July: I came back to Washington for my mentors wedding (which happens to be guy 1's older brothers wedding) I hung out with my friends and when the wedding came guys 1,2, and 3 were all there. Talk about awkward. After the wedding and everyone had all left guy 3 pulls me aside and we kiss. When we are kissing we hear guy 1 coming our way to tell me good bye. He leaves and we follow him shortly after. Guy 3 walks me to my car and kisses me goodbye.

August: after the wedding I went back to Idaho and began hanging out with old friend of mine who I grew up with. This guy who is 2 years younger than I am confessed his love for me. I resented it at first but eventually I hung out with him every chance I could. When summer was ending I made the choice to move back in with my friend and finish school with all my friends. So I left guy 4 in idaho.

September: Senior year started and I was feeling like I was on top of the world.

October: PTSD hit me and I was on rock bottom

November: I got the opportunity to go visit my family in Idaho for Thanksgiving. Guy 4 desperately wanted to see me but I was more focused on my family.

December: guy 1 wanted to rekindle our friendship cuz we were once best friends. I agreed. He later flaked. I went to see the new star wars movie with a friend of mine who had told me he liked me repeatedly ( guy 5) I told him no profusely. I got my wisdom teeth removed than 3 days later drove to Idaho. I saw guy 4. He was happy to see me. And seeing him again made me miss him more. I started texting guy3 and he was cool but he is definitely not the kind of guy I want in my life

In summary

This week on a Karissas love life. I told the year in the past weeks that he and I shouldn't date or be in a relationship. He didn't reply for a day and when he did he sent me long messages about how I was just dragging him along and how he wanted to meet in the middle. I told him no I didn't think it would work. So he told me he would message me later. That was 2 days ago and still no reply back from him. I think he might be mad. 

 This week on Karissas love life: So as you all know last week a guy I'm talking to told me he would kill himself if something had happened to me. Immediately I wanted to shut him out and leave him in the cold and that is what's I intended to do. I told my mentor and some close friends and they all agreed I should talk to him in person. So Saturday ,2/18/17, we planned to hang out and get subway and starbucks. Then is when I was going to confront him about how uncomfortable he made me and tell him we need to just be friends . Well on Monday ,2/13/17, he asks me if he can get me a gift because he is aware that I have a huge fear of commitment, relationships, and intimacy and didn't want to cross any boundaries.  I didn't want to refuse his gift on Saturday for Valentine's Day so I said it would be fine thinking it would be a cheap box of chocolates or something.  Because of my fear of relationships I decided to take Valentine's Day off for school. I wasn't in the mood to deal with the “lovey dovey” highschool scene. So I slept in, took a nice hot shower. After my shower I dressed in leggings, a pull over sweater, and threw my hair in a messy bun and didn't bother putting on any make-up. Around 3 the guy texted me and asked me if I like bears. I said I like koala bears. He said yeah haha people say I'm like a bear. Obviously he was going to get me a bear on Saturday. So being petty like I am, I continued to use one word messages and eventually he got the point to just leave me alone. Around 5:00p. my best friend messaged me and told me she would be coming over to in a little bit to give me a valentine gift.  So about 10mins later I hear a car door shut and I peek out my window expecting it to be hailey. But no it's the guy I'm talking to holding a vase full of roses and Lilly's with a cute little bear wrapped around the vase. I was freaking out. I raced to the door and there he was with his mom beside him taking pictures. I hugged and was super embarrassed because of how trashy I looked. But he still told me I looked beautiful :) . We talked for a little while but he eventually had to leave so we hugged goodbye and as soon as I closed the door behind me I started yelling hysterically completely flabbergasted. So when Saturday came around I spoke to him about the whole “kill myself situation” and he said he didn't mean it, he was just using that for affect. I didn't understand but if he wasn't super dramatic about it then I wasn't going to be either. We continued talking and I gave him my gift which was a cheap box of chocolates I got half off on the 15th, he loved them anyway. The date itself went great there were a few awkward encounters with people we knew, but overall it was refreshing.  We haven't talked much since then, but I'm sure throughout the week we'll talk more.  

               ~I'll keep you posted my lovelies talk to you next week! 

*5'1 me meeting new people*

Him: Hey ;)

Me: Hey, what's up?

Him: Nothing much, how old are you?

Me: I'm 16 :D

Him: You're kinda short for 16 don't you think?