This has been sitting in my docs for awhile. I donât really know what this is, it started off as a blurb for a friend and took a turn into some kind of grayson x reader angst(?) pandemic concept.Â
tags & warnings: angry grayson, pandemic concept, mentions of smut, possibly bad writing
The sound of his heavy footsteps echoed across the wooden deck of the porch and into the cool dusk New Jersey air as he paced eagerly back-and-forth. His hands, tingling with frustration and anger, tried hopelessly in vain to close his dark flannel jacket around his strong torso in a bid to shield himself from the crisp night breeze while staring out into distance. Lost in thought, Grayson could feel his heart beating ruthlessly again his chest as he attempted to calm himself down with a few deep breaths; his hand running his fingers through his hair as he exhaled steeply. Walking towards the end of the porch, his eyes strained out into the remote wilderness that surrounded his familyâs farmhouse for any sign of familiarity that might come down the long winding driveway. Glancing down at his phone screen, there were no new messages or missed phone calls. It had been close to an hour since he last heard her voice and the words that they had exchanged were mean and so unlike them. In his mind he felt that she had taken things too far and for reasons that he clearly didnât understand quite yet, he felt justified in his anger and feelings of divide. In a world of his own, he stood silently with only the croaking of the frogs for company while a chilly breeze gently blew through his unusually long dark hair.
âSheâs not picking up,â announced Ethan from the warm comfort of the kitchen while peeking through the window at his brother who was steadily pacing the length of the front porch. Â âItâs going straight to voice mail and her inbox is full.â
âMaybe she doesnât have cell service?â questioned their mother Lisa in a tentative tone. Â
âOr maybe sheâs ignoring him,â whispered Cameron beneath her breath while sitting patiently at the kitchen island, twiddling her fingers as a way of distraction from the nightâs unsettling events.
âShe wouldnât do that to us,â defended Ethan while placing his phone down on the kitchen countertop, making sure to keep it screen side facing up just in case she had decided to call or message him back.
âShe might do that to Grayson,â retorted Cameron. âLetâs face it, heâs just spent the last couple of hours screaming at her into his phone, sheâs ignoring him. I know I would.â
âWe donât know the full story. We need to stay out of it and let them sort it out themselves,â stated Lisa while taking a seat next to Cameron, her motherly tone trying its best to soothe her children. âAs difficult as that might be for us to do.â
âMa, she just tried to take Bailey away from him,â offered Ethan quietly. âWe know that for sure and I think anyone would react the same as Gray right now given the situation.â
âYeah, but she was never going to get very far,â defended Cameron. âAll international flights are grounded, thereâs government orders for us all to stay at home.â
âIâm sure thereâs a reasonable explanation,â proposed Lisa, her New Jersey accent becoming more pronounced the tireder she felt.
âI donât get it,â stated Ethan while leaning against the countertop, his fingers tapping impatiently against the smooth marble. âSheâs running between Jersey and New York City. Sheâs working crazy hours at the hospital. New Yorkâs going under, this whole pandemic is fucking with everyoneâŠeven those who seemingly have their shit together. What if this doesnât end well?â
âE, donât talk like that!â Warned Cameron, her eyes wide with fear. âThere has to be more to this than Y/N just wanting to take Bailey back to London.â
âYeah, well tell that to Grayson,â retorted Ethan while keeping a watchful eye on his twin brother through the window.
âMama, are we almost home?â questioned Bailey from her car seat stationed in the back of your black SUV.
âYes, baby,â you reply softly while your eyes stare out into the distance as you drive along one of the many back roads of Long Valley.
âIâm tired,â yawned Bailey softly, her eyelids dipping heavy while trying to fight off sleep.
âWeâre almost there, sweetheart,â you whisper while reaching a hand back to gently squeeze her little foot in an attempt to comfort her. âJust another ten minutes or so and weâll be back at Lollieâsâ
âWill Gizmo be awake?â asked Bailey optimistically.
âMaybe,â you respond. âAnd even if sheâs happily sleeping, youâll still be able to see her in the morning.â
âDaddyâs awake,â you answer flatly, a feeling of dread washing over you.
It had been well over an hour since you last spoke to your husband. You had both been exasperated, frustrated and bewildered by how much anger had erupted from between you. You had tried unsuccessfully to explain yourself, your feelings of frustrations and your fears to him. Grayson has not wanted to hear any of it. You were trying hard to keep things together emotionally, amid a pandemic that few inside your profession saw coming, you found yourself completely worn-out and near non-emotionally responsive. For the past month you had been walking around trying to sell optimism to anyone who dared ask how things were going and yet inside you felt anything but optimistic. You had spent countless hours driving between New Jersey and New York City, the bottom half of your face clad in a mask almost 24 hours a day. Your hands were rubbed raw from the constant use of hand sanitizer and its strong alcoholic smell had seeped into almost every pore of your body. No matter how many times you washed your hair or scrubbed your body with soap, all you could smell was disinfectant. Living solitary in your mother-in-lawâs basement, you could see your husband and child, but you couldnât touch them. Even with your mask on, you always had to stand at the very least six feet apart. Glancing in the rear-view mirror at Bailey, you marvelled at the fact that it had taken you so long to crack and then you wondered whether that made you a good mother or a bad one. A good wife or a bad one. A dedicated doctor or one that had been stripped of all emotion.
Suddenly, your phone screen lights up with an intense bright light that illuminates the car. Yet another message from Ethan asking you to call him back. But what were you to say? You had always thought highly of Ethan, and you had always gotten along so well. In the very beginning it felt more like you and Ethan were a much more compatible match as you both had a similar sense of humour and a companionship that always seemed to flow organically. Itâs funny the way things had turned out and how some people had come into your life with the only purpose of teaching you how to let them go. Ethan was one of those people, but he was the most complicated of those people.
Peeing through the windshield you could see the closed gate of your mother-in-lawâs farmhouse in the distance. Dusk had fallen into darkness and you could hear light drops of rain begin to splatter against the windows and roof of the car. Except for your headlights which lit the narrow road with a gentle glow, the road and surrounding world was dark and ominous. The wind was blowing through the trees and even from inside the car you could hear the leaves rustling against one another.
With his back turned against the night air, Grayson finally heard the familiar sound of gravel crunching against tires as the familiar sight of her car slowly made its way down the dimly lit driveway. Rushing towards the front of the house, his eyes adjusted past the headlights to a familiar face sitting in the backseat. His mind devoid of thought, he found himself rushing for the passenger door, pulling it open, and breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of his daughter bundled up and asleep in her car seat. Without saying a word, Grayson reached in to unbuckle her seat beat and lift her small body to his.
âDaddy?â whispered a sleepy Bailey.
âYes, baby. Itâs daddy. Youâre home,â soothed Grayson while cuddling his child close to his body and placing a tender kiss on her warm forehead. With one arm supporting Bailey under her posterior and the other pressing her close to his muscular chest, Grayson carried her towards the warmth of the house, relieved to have this baby girl back by his side.
Nestling into her fatherâs neck and shoulder, Bailey had drifted back to sleep by the time Grayson had climbed the fifth stair up towards the laundry room. After tonightâs events, Grayson wasnât even going to entertain placing Bailey back into Cameronâs bedroom where she had been sleeping while they were quarantining at his motherâs house. Instead, she was going to sleep beside him in the laundry room, where he had moved his bed and belongings to after being kept awake by Ethanâs snoring for three nights straight. Also, the laundry room provided a little more privacy for the times when he felt the desire to send you something risquĂ© like a picture of his thick throbbing cock since you couldnât physically be together due to the high risk you faced for contracting and spreading the virus via all the hours you had been pulling at the hospital. Grayson found the laundry room to be a much better place to tease you from, along with the bathroom, the shower, his truck, and the farmyard when he was out working alone on some building project.
Dressing her in her pjâs, Grayson placed Bailey beneath the warm covers on his bed and pressed a gentle kiss to her head while moving a lock of her dark hair away from her little face to behind her ear.
âGoodnight, baby. I love you,â he said while flicking off the light switch.
Downstairs in the kitchen he could hear your soothing voice talking to someone but at this point he was in no mood to confront you. At least thatâs what his head was telling him, his feet on the other hand were taking him straight to you like a solider ready to go into battle. Walking into the kitchen, he saw you standing at the island countertop, you seemed venerable, but he was too angry to care. You had taken his daughter away from him, threatened to take her back to London during a worldwide disaster, and potentially exposed his only child to a virus that had no cure. He was livid.
âIâm so angry I barely even look at you!â spat Grayson, his hazel eyes wide with rage. Â
âGray, maybe this isnât the right time to do this,â interjected Ethan in an attempt to try and diffuse the situation before it boiled to the point where things said could not be taken back.
âE, stay the fuck out of this!â yelled Grayson, his face contorted with furious anger.
âYou need to calm down,â tired Ethan again in a soft passive tone while stepping towards Grayson. Heâd dealt with his twin brotherâs anger his whole entire life, he knew when to press Grayson and when to back off. And maybe this time his judgement was off, but what was Grayson going to achieve by verbally tearing to shreds the love of his life and mother of his child.
âE, seriously,â began Grayson. âI need you give me some space and I need you to stay the fuck out of it.â
âGray, please donât do or say anything that you can never take back,â responded Ethan before moving into the loungeroom where both his mother and Cameron had nervously gathered.
Using the kitchen island as a buffer between you, both you and Grayson found yourselves staring at each other. Quietly in his mind, Grayson tried to think of the last time he had seen you without your surgical mask either on or loosely tired around your neck. He thought you were pretty, your twinkling eyes staring into his own. Your soft lips pink with warmth and your cheeks flush with a rosy hue. You werenât his typical choice for a partner which surprised everyone but most of all himself. A young and virile Grayson was attracted to long locks of golden hair and bronzed skin that came out of a fake tanning booth. A bubbly personality that seeped synonymously with a Malibu beach-babe barbie type of girl. But this more mature version of Grayson found himself attracted to something entirely different. You were your own person, the opposite of every woman heâd known in Los Angeles, much less slept with. Youâre a little different, youâre educated, experienced, opinionated, somewhat sensible but also a little arrogant. Youâre not perfect, you have flaws, but you accept them. You are interesting and thatâs where his intrigue began. Youâre someone he could bring home to his family with a deep sense of pride, although maybe there was some contention from Ethan and even Cameron. The problem was there was a point where all Grayson could think about was you. Now you stood facing each other in silent warfare although some might say you had both come full circle.
âI donât know what you want to hear from me right now,â you spoke, breaking the silence.
âHow âbout an explanation as to what the fuck you just did,â retorted Grayson, not breaking eye contract with you. âI wanna know what the hell is going on.â
âItâs complicatedâŠâ you began before an angry Grayson cut you off.
âComplicated is not an explanation!â
âYou wouldnât understand,â you said, your voice trying to stay sounding strong.
âI am so tired of you telling me that I wouldnât understand,â huffed Grayson, his hands running through his long hair in exasperation. âThatâs your go to explanation for everything: Grayson is so stupid; he doesnât fucking understand anything!â
âI never said you were stupid,â you defended, âI just said that you wouldnât understand the reasons why I did what I did.â
âThis is getting nowhere,â spoke Grayson in a frustrated tone. âWeâre just going around in circles. You try and take my kid -â
âOur kid!â you objected.
âListen! Listen, to me! You took my fucking kid,â retorted Grayson while smashing his fist against the marble of the kitchen countertop. âYou took my kid and you threatened to take her back to LondonâŠpermanently. Youâre going to take her and youâre going to leave me here. How fucking dare, you!â
âIâm not going to do this tonight, Grayson.â You spoke. Tired, frustrated, sad, misunderstood and lonely, tonight was not the night to try to even reason with him.
Stepping to the side, you brushed past the island barrier between you, past Grayson and towards the door that led down into the basement.
âNot so fast,â spoke Grayson as he quickly hooked his fingers around your elbow as you strode past him, pulling you back towards his body.
You hadnât felt his touch in a while and were taken aback at the tingles it created up and down your spine. Close enough to feel his body heat and the faint whistle in his breathing from what was probably an oncoming asthma attack, you dared to turn your head to make eye contact with his dark blazing hazel eyes. The same eyes as your daughter. His shoulders were more masculine than you remembered, and his strong stature seemed to tower over your small frame. Suddenly you felt a wave of self-consciousness wash over you. What once would have been a private disagreement between you two was now a public disagreement in front of his family. Not a good look for two people who prided themselves on being private in their relationship.
âCan we just pick this back up tomorrow,â you queried. âI just donât have it in me to do this tonight.â
âNo,â snapped Grayson while tightening his grip on your elbow.
âFor fuck sake, Grayson!â you yell, âIâm not doing this with you right now.â
Quickly pulling your arm away from his tight grip, you push past him while trying to hurry towards a quick exit from the kitchen. Feeling disorientated and with Grayson hot on your trail, you take a wrong turn and instead of heading towards the door that would have led you down into the basement, you find yourself climbing up the stairs towards the second story of the farmhouse.
âYou know what,â stated Grayson in a low ominous tone, âIâm done! This is over! Weâre over! I want a divorce and I want you outta here!â
âFine,â you retort in a hurried tone while finding yourself lost and corned on the second story floor. âI couldnât agree more that weâre done.â
âGet out!â yelled Grayson before hushing his tone as to not wake Bailey.
Feeling corned and wanting to get away from your husband, you hurry towards the drawcord that hung from the attic door, grabbing onto it and pulling it down before climbing the set of steps that led up into the loft. The sound of the rain pelting against the roof and attic window was raucous and you could barely hear yourself think let alone hear what Grayson was saying behind you. The air in the attic was stuffy and the light dim as you bumped your way past the dozens of boxes and old furnishings that littered throughout the loft space, kicking up dust. What are you doing? What are both of you doing? Your thoughts raced a thousand miles a minute. Circling around back towards the attic stairs the faint sound of Ethanâs voice was comforting until it wasnât.
âBoth you guys up there?â questioned Ethan loudly. âThen thatâs where you can stay until you sort this shit out!â
âHuh?!â responded Grayson while turning on his heel and hastily making his way back towards the stairs while his feet aggressively pushed the boxes out of his way that dared to try and trip him.
Before either of you could respond with anything else, the unsettling sound of the stairs being closed made both you and Grayson jump in fright. Standing mostly in darkness with only the shallow light of the moonâs beam streaming in from the attic window, you stood in silence.
âEthan! What the fuck are you doing?â yelled Grayson as the stairs slammed shut, causing dust to circle around and delicately float in the air. âEthan, do not lock us up in the attic!â
âEth, this isnât a very good idea,â stated Cameron while watching Ethan close up the stairs to the attic, effectively locking his brother up there with his wife.
âRelax, Cam,â reassured Ethan quietly. âThey can get out. Thereâs a latch up there on the floor. Graysonâs just too stupid to figure it out.â
âSo, how long should we leave them up there?â snickered Cameron changing her tone.
âAs long as it takes for them to figure out that they canât be without each other,â shrugged Ethan. âOr until mom makes us tell Grayson about the latch.â