charlie: my girlfriend of two years just dumped me so i'm going to hire a lot of prostitutes and drink alcohol and have a lot of sex
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charlie: my girlfriend of two years just dumped me so i'm going to hire a lot of prostitutes and drink alcohol and have a lot of sex
alan's subplot:

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They were kinda right though, looking back
can i get a fanfic of neville longbottom being a fat chud at the esrly years and getting buillied by ron and harry but then in the later years (deathly hallows around) he plans to steal hermione and ginger from them. make sure they both fall in love and share him equally while neville becomes a dominating fuckboy. *plot twist make it so that he dumps those whores and actually seduces harry and ron and makes them submissive to him*
IM LAUGHING SO HARD BRO WTF IS THIS
summary : ron fingered you before class and now you can't focus đ
wc - 383
"eyes on your own parchment, finnigan," professor vector murmured without looking up from her desk. the rustling of quills paused for half a second before resuming, louder now, as if everyone had simultaneously remembered to breathe again. you shifted in your seat, thighs pressing together under the desk. the scratch of ink on paper sounded unnaturally loud in your ears, your own quill hovering uselessly over question three: describe the practical applications of the inception charm in modern alchemical processes (15 points)
15 points and you had nothing.
your foot tapped twice against the leg of your stool left, right before you caught yourself. the movement made something twinge low in your abdomen, a dull echo of earlier that made your teeth sink into your lower lip.
"thirty minutes remaining," vector announced, and a collective groan rippled through the room. you stared at the whorls in the wooden desktop instead of your half-empty parchment, tracing one with your fingertip. the grain felt rough under your skin, like the calloused pads of ronâs fingers when theyâd...
"psst." a folded square of parchment landed next to your elbow, interrupting your thoughts.
you glanced sideways just in time to see hermioneâs eyebrows climbing toward her hairline as she deliberately looked away, the picture of innocence. you unfolded the note with a quiet crinkle.
are you ill? youâre flushed.
you pressed your knees tighter together under the desk, feeling the fabric of your robes slide against your thighs, rough in some places, suspiciously damp in others. the note trembled slightly in your fingers as you scrawled back.
just tired. exam nerves. why, do i look like iâve been fingered behind the greenhouses?
you folded the piece of paper before passing the note back, careful to not bring any attention to yourself.
the ink on your parchment had smudged where your sweating palm had rested. you wiped your hand on your robe, but the phantom sensation lingered. ronâs broad fingers working you open against the stone wall near the herbology shed, his other hand clamped over your mouth to muffle the sounds you hadnât realized you were making until his thumb pressed down on your tongue. the memory made your quill snap in half with a tiny *crack*. seamus jumped beside you.
"everything alright there?" he muttered, peering at your ruined exam. you nodded wordlessly.
Don't tell- Ron Weasley
18+ charatcers and content. Please be mindful of what you read.
Mostly foreplay, brieftly mentioned Afab reader
~~
"This is so fucked up." You whisper against Ron's lips, looking into his eyes for a moment.
Ron chuckled, a smirk growing onto his face meshing perfectly with the flush red of his skin. The kiss only grew harsher as the two of you finally made it to the bedroom door, his hand searching haphazrdly before managing to push it open.
You stumbled into the room, watching as Ron closed the door behind him. His face had shifted into more of a smile than the smirk. You found yourself laughing slightly as he almost fell over the raised corner of the rug, making him do the same with a mumbled line of it not being funny.
He followed as you sat on the bed, his lips making their way back to yours as you moved yourself to sit against the headboard. Your arms rested on his shoulders as his held your face softly. It felt much softer than the moment was, than any of it should be.
"You're such a good kisser." Ron whispered, trying to move impossibly closer to you.
"So are you." You replied, using it to catch your breath. You looked at Ron, then around to the decor of the room, bringing your mind back. "Are we really doing this?" You felt bad, but it didn't look as if the man in front of you had any concerns.
"Depends." He started, sitting back slighty and fixing a piece of your fallen hair. "Are you going to say yes?"
The question made you pause, only then you noticed the slight worry in Ron's eyes. One of his hands still on your face, thumb grazing your cheekbone while the other sat on your waist. Taking it all in you found your answer fairly fast, it was the only time you even questioned it.
"No." Rons face softened, lips curling. "I was hesitant but there is no way I want to now." To prove your words by pressing your lips back against his which were qickly reciprocated.
The freckled hand moved down, sliding underneath the waistband of your pants. He smiled against you as you gasped, keeping his hand above your underwear and testingly running his hand against you, sending shivers through you as he ghosted over your clit.
"Good." Lips moved from yours to placing soft kisses against your cheek, moving slowly towards your neck. "Just don't tell Fred we fucked in his bed when you reject him."

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spreading my mean gf/reader propaganda like
i would love to read a poly romione + ronarry fic where harry and hermione have very strong but purely platonic feelings towards eachother, and both are in love with ron and are aware the other is also into ron, and they talk about it and come to find that they'd be okay with sharing ron if he were to want it too
so they try to make advances on ron that hint at their interest in him and spend more private time together to talk about it. meanwhile ron is also in love with both of them but his insecure ass is like "there's no way they could love me back romantically... the two of them would be a much better couple... in fact they've been spending more one on one time together without me so maybe they're already dating and don't want to tell me... it's so messed up that i'm pining after BOTH of my best friends, who are probably in love with one another instead... i'm so bloody pathetic... đ" so he doesn't really register/believe in the attempted flirting
This is so real, this is the realest thing
ron eating pussy for the first time?
what you need | ron weasley x reader
|an: i missed writing lol and itâs hp season so i wanted to write for my man crush 4L since nobody writes enough abt him smh. also listened to what you need by the weeknd while writing this.
feel free to send me any ron or fred asks!
pure smut btw!
|w.c 1.1k
youâd been spending the last few weeks of summer at the burrow with the weasleys, just as tradition called for. except this year, you and ron had made things official between the two of you. ronald had always been your kryptonite. his pouty, pink lips, button nose, bright blue eyes, toned biceps, and thick thighs. now he was finally yours, yours to kiss, to hold, to fuck. to make feel good.Â
 you were so worked up from earlier. watching ron and his older brothers joking around together, roughhousing around the burrow in his white wife beater and low-hung plaid pajama bottoms. all you could think about was how badly you wanted to rip them off of him. you felt yourself getting wetter and hotter as you watched him shove fred for a joke he had made about his love for his favorite quidditch team.Â
ron had gotten so muscly this year; you wanted so badly to feel him roughhouse you, to throw you around, to overpower you with his strength as he pleasured you andâÂ
âwhat are you so deep in thought about, hm?â fred said as he collapsed on the couch next to you.Â
âoh... nothing. whereâs ron?â you'd said as you clenched your thighs together, upset as you noticed his presence was no longer there, no longer around for you to gawk at.
âyour boyfriend went upstairs to get ready for bed, i reckon. itâs getting late; you might want to start heading up there too, donât you think?â the older brother whispered in your ear; without hesitation, you stood up and made your way into ronâs room, knowing exactly what you wanted, what you needed.Â
opening his door, you found ron sat on his bed, back against the headboard, tinkering with a trinket his brothers had given to him. you make eye contact as you swiftly shut the door behind you and make your way to your boyfriend.Â
you reckon heâs felt the same way today too, as no words are exchanged between the two of you, yet the sexual tension hangs thick over the room. he looks up at you with those big, blue eyes, and you can feel the pulse of your heat as you grab his trinket from his hands and place it on his bedside table.Â
he knows; he knows exactly what you want, what you need. heâs never done it before, but heâs never wanted to pleasure you so badly before. you look so sexy in your white, lacy tank top that hugs your curves in all the right ways and accentuates your breasts, the way your sleep shorts fit perfectly on your waist, the way that your long hair runs down your back, and the way that your skin glows with lust. lips pink and bitten raw and eyes lidded low, pupils dilated with want.
you pull one leg over his lap and straddle him as he wastes no time placing his hands on your hips to guide you there. you greet him with a warm, wet, and passionate kiss, pressing your hot pussy down onto his semi-hard cock.
he can feel the pulse of your pussy through your thin sleep shorts on his dick, groaning at the sensation. he realizes how worked up his poor girl has been all day; he knows exactly what his baby needs from him.Â
you whimper and rut your clit against his hard cock as his large, calloused hands roam your hot body. he places his hand at the small of your back and flips the two of you over with your back against the mattress.Â
âis this what you wanted, my love?â he says as he lowers himself face to face with your clothed cunt.Â
you look down at him and nod slowly as you abuse your bottom lip with your teeth. ron understands how long you mustâve been waiting for this to be so dumb off the few moments of friction you shared.Â
ron wastes no time sliding your shorts and panties off of your body in one fluid motion. you felt his large, calloused hands on your warm, sticky thighs, spreading your legs apart as he stared at your bare, wet pussy from between your legs with wide eyes.Â
oh fuckÂ
he has no idea how to do this.Â
âbaby, do you need help?â you ask, staring down at him into his eyes as he slowly nods; heâs gotten shy and a little embarrassed that he took it this far without knowing what to do. but you feel the opposite; as a matter of fact, it kinda turns you on even more.
âdonât feel embarrassed, my love; just start with small licks, yeah? can you do that for me, ron?â you said to him, the tone of your voice, and the affection laced within your words makes his cock leak with anticipation as he begins to do exactly what you told him to.Â
you feel ronâs warm, wet tongue softly lick a stripe along your clit, the feeling sending fireworks through your abdomen. you whimper as you throw your head back while he continues to lap at your clit with small, unsure motions.
you grip his head of hair, letting him know heâs doing everything right, encouraging him to venture out on his own and begin letting your moans dictate the way his tongue moves against your aching pussy.Â
his tongue works magic on your pussy as he flattens his tongue out more, licking longer stripes along your folds and sucking on your clit as he reaches the top, his spit mixing with your juices and coating his chin as he sucks and laps at your cunt.Â
itâs all too much as he messily and hungrily eats your pussy, the feeling of the wetness he created dripping down your cunt and thighs, the sounds of him slurping away at your clit, and the eye contact heâs making with you as he does so.
âron, i canâtâiâm gonna cum. oh fuck,â you whisper shakily as you bite your bottom lip raw from muffling your own moans. one of your legs locking up and shaking from their position that he keeps them held up in the air.
without words, he takes it upon himself to lap at just your clit in a rapid, continuous motion that he thinks you seemingly enjoyed the most. this sends you over the edge completely. gripping at his hair tightly as you throw your head back into his pillow once more.Â
assuming youâve finished, by the way, your limbs went limp, he placed a final, lasting kiss on your clit before finding his way back up to face you as he placed another kiss on your warm, red lips.Â
âdid i do well?â he asked boastfully, a grin plastered across his face, assuming he already knows the answer to this question due to the state youâre in.
âmhmmâŚâ was all you could muster up, as the kiss was all you needed to drift off into a satisfied sleep in your boyfriend's arms.Â
i feel like ron would have a babbling problem. like, he canât stfu the closer he gets to cumming, so you have fun finding different ways to occupy his mouth while you suck him off or ride him. first instinct is sitting on his face or to shove your fingers into his mouthngh
Skipping the storyline and going straight into the fucking part..

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random things i like about ron that were at least mentioned once in the books,
-ron hair smells good, at least hermione loves it
-ron makes tea when someone is upset
-his breathing when sleeping is calm and rhythmic (harry said he was able to sleep bc of it lol. i think in ootp but not sure)
-he called out a portrait (i think) saying he had freckles and not some other thing. heâs so cute i wanna cry
-HES SO TALL AND LANKY AND HAS BLUE EYES AND BRIGHT HAIR AND FAIR EYELASHES. I HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM (adult-ron, pls, donât misunderstand me)
-ronâs pyjamas are always a tiny bit too short on him
-ron threw a crocodile heart at draco
-ron punched draco in the battle of hogwarts (that being dracoâs last appearance until the epilogue)
-ron looking at hermione in hbp even if they were mad. and wanting to talk to her after christmas (and other few times) with no luck :(
-ron spying on hermione and asking people from other houses about her to find out what she was up to during 3rd year when they werenât speaking to each other
-ron said that bill always understood him and i love that bc considering his relationship with his other siblings this warms my heart
-ron literally seeing the bright side of things and being always happy for his friends, encouraging them.
i weep anytime i think about how ron was the first person harry found that loved him (aside obviously his parents but he doesnât remember. iâm strictly talking about what he remembers) and he found love for the first time in him. years back when i went to the hp london studios i was the only one crying when i saw tiny ron and harry at the train. theyâre everything to me bye.
OKOK
perv!ron giving into the urge to relieve his boner while sitting at a table at the three broomsticks sounds so hot đ HEAR ME OUT. reader whos sitting across from him picks up on this and decides to tease him (and maybe pretends to drop a forkâŚ?đ), while the others at the table are seemingly not paying attention.
ill leave it up to you to decide who theyre sitting with and if they get caught or not đ¤đ
â・° Thinking âbout perv!Ron giving into his urges at dinnerâŚ
cw: 18+!, mdni, perv!Ron, reader is Harryâs sister, Public masturbation, Ron kind of did things the complicated way because i feel like perv!Ron would be kind of stupid, mentions of Ron watching seemingly unaware reader masturbate, panty stealing, panty sniffing, reader is also kind of pervy, Ron gets caught by Harry lmao
a/n: first time writing in foreverr since the past week has been so busy đđ Hopefully a Draco ask next, then i get to work on my boys Fred and George again ! (hoping to get all asks finished soon !)
The Gryffindor quidditch team sat around at a table at three broomsticks. The sound of celebratory chatter echoing off the walls of the building. Gryffindor won against Slytherin in todayâs quidditch game, so the team decided why not celebrate by going to the three broomsticks?
It wasnât just the team, a couple friends sat around at the table too. One of those friends being Harryâs sister who was sat across from her brotherâs best friend.
Your nails were freshly done. The colour sticking out against the silver of the fork in your hand as you twirled the utensil in your noodles. Your focus on your brother as he discussed with the others about whatever one of the Slytherins did during the game that ticked him off. You decided to wear a simple, black off the shoulder short dress.
The cleavage of your breasts was noticeable thanks to the low cut of the fabric- And boy was it distracting Ron, whom, by the way, was your brotherâs best friend.
Ron knew it was wrong to look at his best friendâs sister like this, but he couldnât help it. You always managed to look so effortlessly attractive. And the sight of your cleavage certainly wasnât helping with the boner he already had due to the magazine he was looking at before coming here.
He could feel the heat in his face spreading to his ears as you looked at him. His gaze instantly changing to look at the side as he âinnocentlyâ took a sip of his butterbear.
You grinned as you looked away. Adjusting in your seat to push your chest out more. Sighing as you tuned back into the conversation going on with your brother and his friends, all while watching Ron out of the corner of your eye.
Ron side eyed you to see if you were still looking, letting out a sigh of relief as he saw that you werenât. His eyes were then immediately drawn back to your chest- which were now more on display for him than before. If he âdidnât know betterâ, he would have thought youâd done it on purpose.
He looked back down towards his food, stuffing a bunch of chicken into his mouth while he eyed the bump straining against his jeans. Fuck, he wanted to deal with that so bad. It was practically painful how hard he was at this point.
Looking back up, Ronâs eyes scanned over the table and faces of his friends before his eyes darted to your cleavage then his pants. He bit his lip, his mind working at a million miles per minute as he debated on what to do.
What was he debating on doing? On relieving his boner in public of course. He would be lying if he were to say that the risk wasnât turning him on even more. And heâd be a fool to pass up on an opportunity to get off to the sight of your tits that he had right in front of him.
Cautiously looking around the table, he snaked one of his hands down into his lap. Sucking in a deep breath as fiddled with the zipper of his jeans.
Your brows furrowed as you watched Ronâs actions out of the side of your eye. âWhat in the bloody hell was he doing?â You thought to yourself. Why was he looking around the table so cautiously?
You just closed your eyes and mentally shook your head, looking back towards the rest of the table as you dismissed your curiosity away.
Ron bit his lip, attempting to appear nonchalant as he pulled his zipper down while stuffing a big piece of chicken into his mouth. Mentally cursing himself as he came to his next obstacle: Getting his pants down.
His movements momentarily halted as he sipped on his butterbear. Cautiously looking around to make sure that no one was looking at or near him. Then lifted his hips just enough to get his pants down enough before plopping back down onto his wooden seat.
Eyeing the table again to make sure no one was looking, he planted his right elbow back onto the table and continued eating. All while his eyes seemingly found its way back towards your chest.
he loves to eat - r.w
ron weasley x fÂĄreader
oral reader receiving
im not one to make posts ab other characters but sometimes ideas just pop into your head and this was one of them, enjoy this lil drabble
something about the way he knew exactly what he was doing, and knew it drove you crazy.
itâs no surprise to anyone that ron weasley has a habit of eating whatever he pleases, scarfing his food down as quickly as it appears on his plate; what? heâs hungry.
the first time you found your way stumbling back into ronâs dorm, his hands roaming your waist as he kissed you hungrily you didnât expect it to go in the direction it did. of course a heated makeout session was a gateway to something more, however when he pushed you back onto his bed and kneeled down between your legs, eyes on yours for the permission to do exactly what he wanted to do..
me core
RON WEASLEY IS A BOTTOM RON WEASLEY IS A BOTTOM RON WEASLEY IS A BOTTOM RON WEASLEY IS A BOTTOMMMMMđđđđ

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summary : you and hermione basically slutting out ron lollol
this is not proofread đ
đâ đâ â Ëâ đŹâ Ëâ â đâ đđâ đâ â Ëâ đŹâ Ëâ â đâ đđâ đâ â Ëâ đŹâ Ëâ â "hm merlin's beard, ron, stop talking" hermione gasped, her thighs clamping tight around his head as she grounded herself against his mouth. his muffled protests were barely audible beneath her, half-drowned in slick heat, his usual sharp tongue too occupied to retaliate.
you grinned down at ron from where you straddled his hips, rolling your own in a slow, deliberate rhythm that had his fingers digging into your waist. the flush creeping up his freckled covered chest was almost as satisfying as the way his cock twitched inside you every time hermione rocked back against his face. "not so smug now, are you?" you teased, dragging a nail lightly down his sternum just to watch him squirm.
ron groaned, the sound vibrating against hermione, and she shuddered, one hand fisting in his hair while the other braced against the headboard. "bloodyâfuckâ" he tried, but hermione cut him off with a sharper roll of her hips, her breath hitching when his tounge flicked at the right angle.
ron bucked beneath you, his hips jerking in a desperate, wordless plea, but you pressed your palms flat against his chest, holding him firmly in place. his groan was half frustration, half helpless arousal, and you couldnât help but giggle at the way his fingers flexed against your waist, like he was debating whether to fight or surrender.
"what is it ron?" your voice was soft, feigning innocence, slowing your movements to an almost teasing crawl, your body lifting just enough to deny him the friction he craved. "ya need something?"
hermione caught on to your teaseful tone instantly, her rhythm stuttering to match yours. she pulled back just enough to let ron gasp for air, her fingers still tangled in his hair as she arched a brow down at him. "shes not a mindreader, ronald. tell her what you want." her thighs tightened around his head again, but this time she didnât let him dive back in, hovering just out of reach. his whine was deliciously pathetic.
ronâs chest heaved, "youâre both evil," he managed, though the way his hips twitched upward betrayed him. his hands slid from your waist to your hips, fingers digging in like he was trying to coax you back into motion. "câmon..i want..I want.. more.." his bottom lip jutted out a bit his hoarse and low.
you tilted your head, pretending to consider it as you traced idle circles on his stomach with your fingertips.
"I donât know. that didnât sound very polite." you glanced at hermione, who was biting her lip to keep from giggling. "what do you think, âmione?"
hermioneâs lips curled into a wicked little smirk, her fingers tightening in Ronâs hair just enough to make him groan. âoh, I think youâre absolutely right,â she purred, her voice thick with amusement and something darker, hotter. she shifted her weight, her thighs still bracketing his head but now deliberately keeping him at bay, her body just out of reach. âwe canât possibly reward that tone, can we?â
you shook your head slowly, deliberately, watching the way ron's pupils blew wider with every inch of denial.
ronâs breath hitched, the fight visibly draining out of him in a slow, shuddering exhale. âplease,â he whined, voice rough and wrecked, but there was no mistaking the shift in tone, the way his fingers softened against your hips, the way his eyes flicked between you and hermione pleading. âpleasepleasepleaseIneedââ his hips jerked helplessly, his cock twitching inside you as if to emphasize the point. âneed both of youâ
hermioneâs smirk deepened, her fingers loosening in his hair just enough to stroke through the strands in mock consideration. âhmm. marginally better,â she mused, though the way her thighs trembled betrayed her own impatience. âbut I think you could stand to be a little more⌠specific.â
ronâs hands slid up to grip your waist again, his thumbs pressing into the hollows of your hips like he was mapping the shape of his desperation. âspecific,â he echoed, âright. yeah. âhermione..want your cunt on my tongue again, want you to ride my face âtil i cant breath. and need youââ his fingers flexed, dragging you down just enough to steal your breath as his cock nudged deeper. âneed you to fuck me harder...please?"
ron barely had time to gasp before hermioneâs hips crashed back down onto his mouth, her thighs clamping like a vice around his head. his groan was muffled but the vibration against her sent sparks shooting up hermioneâs spine. back arching as she rode his tongue with reckless abandon. his plea had lit something feral in her it seemed.
the wet obscene sounds of his tongue sucking and slurping against her. the messy drag of his lips sealing around her every time she rocked forward. his chin glistened with spit and her slick dripping down onto his chest in sticky rivulets but he didn't seem to care. his fingers digging into her thighs as if he could pull her closer still.
"ron.." hermione breathed her voice cracked, fingers twisting in his hair hard enough to make him groan against her, the vibration tipping her closer to her climax. her thighs trembled, her back arching as she griding down harder, chasing the friction with a single minded hunger. ron's muffled moans were lost beneath her, his tongue flicking relentlessly against her clit in quick, practiced circles.
it was filthy, the way she used him no finesse, no patience. her hips jerked erratically. little soft whines escaping her lips as ron's nose pressed bruisingly against her, his mouth sealed tight against her.
then she froze. just for a second. her entire body tensing before she came with a shattered cry, her thighs clamping around ron's head hard enough to cut off his air. he didn't stop though his tongue still working her through it, lapping up every pulse and spasm as she rode out the waves her fingers yanking his hair in time with each aftershock. when she finally sagged forward her chest heaving. ron gasped for air beneath her his lips swollen and shiny covered in her climax.
hermione's hand cracked against ron's cheek. not hard enough to sting but enough to make his whole body jerk beneath her, his groan muffled against her thigh. the sound was half-shock, half-delight, his tongue swiping out instinctively as if chasing the taste of her palm. she shuddered, her hips twitching in little aborted circles, her thighs still locked around his head like she couldn't quite let go.
you didn't give him time to recover. the moment hermione shifted her weight to slide off of him to settle beside both you and ron.
you leaned down, catching ron's mouth in a messy, open kiss, his breath hot and uneven against your lips. he tasted like hermione. salt and sweetness. his tongue slid against yours in a lazy, exhausted copy of the way he'd just devoured her. his hands fumbled at your hips, clumsy with overstimulation, but the way his cock twitched inside you betrayed how far he was from being done. you rocked against him, slow and deliberate, savoring the way his breath hitched when your nails scraped down his chest. "still with us ronnie?" you murmured, nipping at his lower lip just to hear him groan.
he nodded dumbly, completely fucked out of his mind.
then you moved. hard. deep. the angle shifted just enough to punch a ragged gasp from his throat, his hips jerking up to meet you instinctively. you didnât let up, setting a brutal pace that had his head thumping back against the pillows, his fingers scrambling for purchase on your skin. hermioneâs breath hitched beside you, her hand sliding up your spine to fist in your hair, tugging just enough to make your vision blur.
ronâs moans were fractured things, half-formed pleas and curses lost between the slap of skin and the creak of the bedsprings. his thighs trembled beneath you, muscles taut as bowstrings.
then with one final thrust his whole body locked up, a broken sound tearing from his throat as he spilled into you, hot and thick, his hips stuttering in shallow, helpless jerks. you rode him through it, grinding down until his moans dissolved into whimpers, until his hands slid from your hips to flop bonelessly at his sides. his cum spilled out around where you were still joined, sticky and warm, but you didnât stop, not yet. you rocked against him, slow and deliberate, milking every drip of cum he had left to offer you.
I'm gonna fucking kill myself because why are harry Potter x reader tag all filled with memes I wanna see my fucking fanfic bitcg get off my screen