a Pandora Box

How do you perceive half? Half full or half empty? It can be both.  If one feels like half empty alone, they tend to keep what they have and hoard everything they can take. More on taking than giving. Half full alone tend to be more positive than the last one. they can give, but there will be some refus for some new plate of anything because they have imaginery space of “almost full, manage the…

Going through mental healing journey is like make up your house in general, and your bed room in particular. You should assign where things belong and consistently return it to its place once it is misplaced. The room shall not only compose where to serve people visiting. It should serve yourself as well. Special attention goes to the bedroom. That is our personal chamber. A place where we have…

The scent of wet soilswith the fresh air from the treesand a bit dampy wooden furniture smells like homewhen I notice strong spicesbeing fried along with chilliesto make a bowl of sambal Smells like homeif there’s the scent of the loved oneswhether they just awake from their sleepor damp sweat after they got exercise Smells like homewhen you are 11.000 km away from homeboiled a pan of…

Mengakar kuat, meningkatkan harkat, menebarkan hakikat Menyirami dengan komunikasiDisinari dengan doa dari sana siniDipupuk dengan kerja cerdas yang diapresiasi Orang mungkin akan datang silih berganti di sekitar kamiTapi kami kami sebisa mungkin menjadi yang meneduhkan, melegakan, atau sekedar mendengarkan.Dan berdoa agar selalu bisa menjadi naungan amanBaik dalam hujan maupun saat terik di…

All of this time, I have no difficulty in concentrating. I am able to sit on my chair and work 8 hours Non-Stop, or even more. I have no difficulties in reading books are resources and shift into tasks, as long as I given a short break. I’m barely procrastinate leave my table.

However thing is no longer the same for the last 2 years. Somehow keeping work and staying on the table are overwhelming.…

This is the story about me and tomatoes.

Years ago, when I was a child, I was unable to eat tomatoes. I saw my sisters made tomato juice, or just chop them and give a sprinkle of sugar, eat them, and enjoy it. However, whenever I tried, I had been always vomiting.

My mother kept telling me that tomatoes was beneficial for our health, especially in avoiding carcinogenic cell that could cause…

I always have aspirations about going home. The more I grew up, it transformed into two shape, home here, but the strongest one is the home here-after. I have problem in preserving motivation to stay alive to be honest. The notion I do not want to be born is so strong.

The stronger the feeling, the more I prepare to leave trace or something. I simply don’t like to be a single dust in the…

I know why I want to keep that “Sugeng Ambal Warsa” on the wall…

It becomes a memento and that you are real. You are part of this place and you have been here.

Many times, I felt when I was going back to this room after being with you for several days, I felt that you were a dream. I even questioned whether you are real or not.

But then when I see this wall, when I see these pictures of ours… I…

Aku dan Nyoma memiliki persamaan: kami sangat menghargai keberadaan. Lebih jauh, dia adalah tentang senantiasa berada bagi orang-orang yang memerlukannya yang vulnerable di sekitarnya yang menyayangi dirinya. Sedangkan aku, adalah tentang ‘meaningful presence’ karena ada ada bukan berarti di sana. Karena raga belum tentu ada jiwa. Karena meski ada bukan berarti harapan itu nyata.

Kami memaknai…

Hari ini aku begitu haus untuk membaca tidak tahu kenapa. Tapi entah kenapa ini bukan membaca sesuatu yang sangat serius tapi juga bukan status ataupun sosial media. Semacam haus untuk membaca cerita.

Begitu tersadar, sebetulnya sejak dahulu aku bisa mengarungi segala kesendirian dan segala kealpaan dengan membaca. Teringat waktu SD aku menenggelamkannya diriku sendiri di dalam perpustakaan,…

Mungkin aku merasa aman, karena dia bisa melekat maupun memberi jarak Mungkin aku merasa nyaman, karena bicara bisa tidak hanya melalui kata juga melalui raga dan mata Mungkin aku merasa damai, bukan hanya karena dia penuh rencana, tapi juga dalam usahanya untuk senantiasa berada Mungkin aku merasa teduh, bukan hanya karena dia dan badannya lebih merengkuh, tapi karena jalan pikirannya untuk…

Aku tak punya kuasa pun untuk menahanmu Aku tak ingin menahanmu dengan beban Aku hanya bisa menahanmu dengan jembatan perasaan Jalinan tawa dan kebahagiaan Yang dilahirkan dari setiap kebersamaan Saat kita berada beriringan Baik itu saat…

Cahaya itu menerangi Cahaya itu menghangatkan Cahaya itu memberikan harapan untuk melanjutkan kehidupan Diantara kekronisan merindukan kematian Tiga dekade tanpa absen dari ingatan Cahaya itu menaungi menenangkan Saat seringkali esok tiada kepastian Dan di kepala hanya ada teriakan Cahaya itu sesosok kelembutan Menghujani dengan pelukan Cahaya itu merindukan, tapi tidak pernah menyilaukan Cahaya…

*udah lama ga collab nulis puisi bersaut2an. Here we go!

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Ini perihal saling melengkapi Bukan kompetisi Seperti sarung dengan isi Yg telah sekian lama mencari Akhirnya bisa bersama di satu sisi Tanpa partisi

Mengayun, tak berhenti Menyatukan hati dan diri Yang sudah lama menanti Baik raga dan hati

Desir gejolak hati yang tak bisa sembunyi Teriakan lama yang selama ini dipendam dalam diri Kini…

The ultimate power of men and women

Previously, I wrote about the homework for men and women. Now I will write what the ultimate power each of them has, and the key to unlocking the best of life. Actually, I already have this notion since some years ago, but I was incapable of articulating why these powers matter. Along the time, after experiencing more, witnessing others, and observing deeply, I finally decided to put it in words…

Sides of a Coin

Coin’s side, whether head or tail, is both real. However, what you see depends on your position, in which direction you are standing, in which position you are projecting. Coin’s nature is ambiguous as an object, yet it is consistent in delivering its values. The portrayal of each side does not lessen nor escalate its factuality. Both sides deliver truth and consistent value.

I am a coin. I do not…

This writing has been in my mind for several days. I never think about it before, but when I went home from Bicester, somehow it is crystal clear. So, I planned to get a couple of shoes some times ago and pinned some of the possibility on Pinterest. Actually, I intended to wait until the person came here, and for now and currently focused on listing the price, which options are more affordable.…