~ strange ways of comfort βͺοΈ 2.3k
fratboy!han jisung x social anxiety!f!reader
theme; when you expect to put your vague but awkward encounter with jisung aside, he somehow weasels his way into your life again.
- heavily revolved around social anxiety, reader is lowkey isolated and stupid, idk not much going on
the afternoon sun glares through the window in your dorm, the scratchy buzz of the half-broken ac the only sound to combat with your steady breathing in the now quiet room. you would have assumed with the massive hangover your roommate had that she would want a bit of a break once she woke upβthat she wouldn't spend the entire next morning filling your overworked ears with her stories from the party. though you should've known well enough to know you were painfully mistaken.
even with the long sleep you shared that should've been enough to refuel you, your brain can only handle so much information before you crash back down.
she told you everything for what felt like hours. from meeting up with friends at the party to inevitably waking up in jeongin's bed with him beside her (even though she barely remembered anything between those moments). she spoke with such elaboration even you felt worn out once she finished. although you love your roommate, it does feel like thats often how it goes. she tells you a story, while you simply nod your head and listen. it's not a bad arrangement in your book, but it does usually leave you socially drained despite not being the one doing the talking.
the main negative aftermath is that those exact moments constantly leave you feeling like the embodiment of a massive loser when she somehow always has something to tell you, while you have absolutely nothing. you think minus going to the convenience store a block away, you've had approximately five real social interactions total since starting college, not to mention you had basically none in highschool.
even now, while stella told you she was off to be with friends, you remain cooped up in your shared dorm, staring at her poster covered wall with a hunched back. you have the image that you must be the complete opposite of a sociable, approachable person, because somehow even her side of the room has an exploding personality whilst your side has maybe- what? two decorations? you decided pretty fast that you definitely look pitiful next to her, especially considering she's the only friend you've had since starting college. but your judgment could also be off.
a firm knock on the door cuts through the silence and jolts you back into the current reality. you blink a few times to renew your dried up eyes from staring so hard at the wall, straightening up your posture with an audible crack. you glance up to the door, awaiting the moment stella waltzes back into the room. because, who else would it be? surely it was just that she had a change of plans or something of the sorts. by the time a second knock comes through your furrowing your brows, pulling yourself to your feet. your automatic assumption is that she didn't bring her key. no problem.
you swug the door open as now what you would describe as too eagerly, because an embarrassing red was quick to spread across your cheeks once you realized it was not your roommate.
it was jisung. and he was fumbling with a sweater. he had an- anxious? look screwed onto his face that vanished as quick as you noticed it, being replaced with a smug grin disguised as casual surprise.
you blink at him for a moment, trying to comprehend the extreme giddiness in his voice that really isn't as well hidden as he must think it is.
"i never told you my name." you deadpan in response, the gears turning in your head in a way that made it impossible to be friendly that second. you're sure you didn't tell him. he never asked. does he know more about you than he's letting on?
he laughs, breathy and awkward, like your response he wasn't expecting.
"i mean- yea. my roommate told me." he shrugs it off, shifting his weight to one leg.
you did tell his roommate. which, to be fair, he did ask. although now to you it must seem rude, doesn't it? telling his roommate your name but not the guy who actually offered up his bed to sleep in. but you guess that jisung doesn't quite look the type of guy to remember to ask for simple information like that.
you clear your throat, your hands suddenly clammy as you come to the conclusion that you do have to engage in conversation. he came to your door for a reason after all.
"did you- um. need something?"
he straightens up, nodding and shoving the sweater your direction out of reflex.
"yep. this." he stares, and you watch his adams apple bob.
"just.. this? who's is this?" your voice comes out quieter than intended. your hands hesitantly reach for the sweater, and you can feel his eyes on you.
"stella's. is.. she's not here, is she?" you then watch him try to glance behind you into the dorm room. he's not very smooth about it.
you cautiously snag the sweater from him, now holding it in your arms like it'll somehow get him to just walk off and leave to end the uncomfortable interaction. but he doesn't. his feet remain rooted in place, and he looks back at you with a new sort of gleam in his eyes.
"so. she's not here. i was hoping to talk to her. do you think she'll be back soon? can i come in and wait?"
you remember stella complaining to you about him, and if your intuition is correct that would make it seem more like they weren't friends. or at the very least stella doesn't like him. so why would he want to-?
you flick your gaze back up to him, inspecting his doe eyed stare. you guess it won't do that much harm. he isn't particularly annoying to you. yet.
"sure. don't know when she'll be back." you swallow down the forming lump in your throat to stiffly step back into the room, hoping he'll follow without you having to say anything.
you listen to the slow click of the door as he heads in behind you, lowering down onto the edge of stella's bed across from you.
"so. what are you majoring in? is it your first year here?"
you sit down on the edge of your own bed. you bite your lip as you push back the blankets on your unmade bed.
"u-um. yea. its my first year. I'm in biology..." your voice trails off to a mumble as embarrassment begins to wash over you. you catch yourself picking anxiously at the sheets. you hadn't realized until now how sweaty your hands were.
"oh, yeah? im in music." he either doesn't notice how hesitant you had been or chose not to mention it. he's smooth with how he manipulates the conversation, and it'd make the most sense that he at the least is familiar with people like yourself.
"so. I know you weren't at that party for any other reason than to grab your roommate, huh? why don't you ever tag along? I've heard her say she wishes you would."
"she- talks about me..?" you briefly adjust your gaze to him, scanning over his face with furrowed brows. jisung nods, his hands running over the fabric of his jeans.
"i mean- she doesn't talk about it to me directly, but... I'm usually around." he shrugs like its nothing, a breathless laugh leaving him.
silence spreads through the two of you, the occasional footsteps coming through the thin walls the only sound that breaks it.
after it drags on for a moment jisung shifts, clearing his throat. he leans forward with a posture like hes about to tell you a secret. his hands clasp together.
"so. how about this." he looks you up and down for a moment, his leg beginning to bounce.
"i know your not- into parties. but. what if i paid you? like- you come with me for the entire night, and i give you like.. maybe a couple hundred bucks. hm?"
your jaw almost goes slack for a moment before you straighten your posture, looking him over. this guys you've met one other time expects you to go to a party with him? how does that make any sense? surely if you told stella about this she'd tell you it's just him being a creepy guy. to not take the offer for your own good. in stellas mind, you don't know any better. which, sure you do. however just because you think you know better, doesn't mean you have the proper radar for knowing when agreeing to join a situation is the right move.
you may have only met jisung once, and you know your roommate doesn't exactly enjoy him, but surely he wouldn't deliberately put you into harm, right? in the eyes of probably everyone you know, you need to do more anyway. perhaps this is the way to do it? okay- maybe its impulsive and stupid. a couple hundred dollars to spend a few hours with a guy doesn't sound great out loud. amd theres a massive possibility the offer was a gag. but then again what if this is how you can get out of your comfort zone? and sure, the money's a bonus.
you speak up before you can fully process what the offer means, and you nod your head vigorously. embarrassing. "okay."
jisung smirks, rolling his shoulders straight.
"alright. here's the deal. you spend the party with me, alone. the party's at my frat house again, so it shouldn't be a problem. the one condition is- you cannot tell stella about the deal. got it? she can know you're going, but she can't know im paying you."
your expression shifts a bit. your eyebrow quirks up just slightly in confusion, but you decide its best not to question it. after all, you try to believe its not for malicious intent. it would be rude to assume otherwise.
jisung stands, the bed creaking in the now uncomfortable silence thats spread once more. "so. i um. i just remembered i have to go.. do something. so i have to go. b-but I'll talk to you about this later, alright?" you barely catch the way his facial expression becomes sheepishβalmost worriedβbefore he all but sprints out the door, leaving you alone once again. it makes the situation even more mind boggling, and you can't think of one singular solution for his odd behavior, or his offer to you.
your left with your mouth half open, almost ready to track after him and ask more questions about the difficult scenario. however your feet stay rooted in place. is it you that's making this seem more complicated than it really is, or is he just more than you expected him to be? you didn't ask for him to come back into your life a second time, let alone a third. he hadn't even come by to speak with you, after all, unless that was just an excuse?
clearly he has to be planning something. you spend 5 minutes talking to a guy you've met one and now he magically decided he's gonna pay you to spend time with him? that's not something people do. you're not new to bullying, so you're not entirely naive when it comes to knowing when a guy actually wants to hang out with you. nontheless, you don't have a crazy bad feeling about it. so either your intuition is insanely off or whatever he truly wants from you isn't something unwelcome. and obviously, you're not turned off from sticking around for a bit to find out.
"so you're telling me that you, just decided that you wanted to go to the house party this weekend? and you- what? decided this on your own?" stella scoffs, though you know she didn't mean it in a snappy way. her face was full of disbelief, her finger jabbed into the table.
your first instinct was to shush her, glancing anxiously around the busy library.
stella rolls her eyes, lowering her tone by just a notch, although still very audible. "i mean, come on. i know for a fact you were freaking out just having to pick me up last weekend. there's no way you're gonna enjoy youself."
"yea but, well.. im gonna go with jisung.."
you shift in your seat across from her, waiting for her inevitable reaction that you know won't be pleasant. it's best to rip the bandaid off before guilt gnaws at you.
she pretty much jumps up from her seat, leaning over you in a way that has you slumping down to compensate. "what?! jisung? you know he's not a good guy, right? he's stuck up, annoying, and way too cocky. how do you even-"
her jaw drops, and she points an accusatory finger at you. "you met him at that party, didn't you? gosh, (y/n) i thought i saw him, im- haven't i told you about him before?"
"yeah.. and i know what you've said, but.." you sigh, hardening your expression a bit. you know the circumstances of this. you know how irresponsible of you this seems, and the thoughts of how things might go with jisung are eating you alive. but you wanted to get out of your comfort zone, and there's a possibility it won't be as bad as you think. you're trying to hold onto that. "he's not that bad. he came by the dorm today. he had wanted to talk to you."
stella gives an exaggerated roll of her eyes again, her jaw clenching. "yeah right. he would never. he knows I don't want anything to do with him." you watch her shift irritably in her chair, which has you stiffening by a margin. "which is why he should know not to talk to you either. I've given him plenty of signals."
you nod, staring at the table with a blank gaze. stella notices your discomfort, reaching forward to tug your sleeve. "grab your stuff. I wanna head back to the dorm. I'm exhausted. you look it too. even though i know you did half as much as i did." she grumbles, pushing her chair back.
you follow after with a faux irritation written on your face, your bag slinging over your shoulder.
you can't deny that jisung is exactly your type. you'd never admit that to stellaβgiven how she reacted to hearing he spoke to you at allβbut you suppose that's a reason you were so willing to agree to go with him. maybe in the near future you won't feel that way, you might back off once you see how he acts at the party. but as of now, you can't help but feel just a bit excited.
a/n - holy cheeseballs this took way longer than I anticipated my apologies π i had to rewrite the whole thing so if the second half is straight buns its cuz i was rushing. also ik the plot is lowkey ridiculous but i have a plan TRUST ME
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