I’ve often been asked what it means to me to be a Daddy / Caregiver. So I’m going to attempt to answer that. This is sort of a rough draft, but I hope it gets my point across!
First of all, let me say that I’ve always been a caregiver, even before I knew what it was to be one. I have a super big heart, and really love taking care of others, nurturing, protecting, and otherwise loving. I’m an oldest brother, so I’ve cared for my younger siblings, and I’ve also cared for my mother, because of her illnesses. So, really, being a caregiver comes super naturally to me. It’s really who I am as a person, it’s not just a role I take on.
I discovered CG/L when, one day, a friend who was into BDSM told me about petplay, and, from there I discovered ddlg/cgl, and instantly knew that I was a caregiver. Being a caregiver fits me, so very well. I am a very affectionate person, and absolutely love it when I can care for someone in such an intimate manner. I want to know them better than they know themselves, to do what is right and best for them, even if they might not see it. I want to be able to be there to support them whenever they might need it, and to have that emotional connection. A Daddy and his little have a very special, and very intimate relationship that nothing else comes close to. They feed off each other’s energy, and when it’s a healthy relationship, the feelings of trust, love, and respect are so strong, far stronger than any vanilla relationship I’ve ever seen. I want that.
Many littles I’ve spoken to say they’re afraid they’re too clingy. I don’t know about you, but I absolute LOVE it when a little is clingy. It makes me feel loved, cared for, and it makes me know I’m doing the right thing. I want to know that she knows there’s nowhere safer than in my arms. I want her to feel that she can come to me about anything, for any reason, without fear, and know that I’ll respect her, and do whatever I can to help make her life better.
And, honestly, I’m a little bit (well, okay, let’s be honest here, I’m more than a little) clingy as well. Not in a bad way, I just am really affectionate, and will constantly remind anyone I care about how much they mean to me, and want to spend time with them. I want to know how your day went, I want to know what you enjoyed about the day, what struggles you had, I want to know if you saw a pretty cat or dog. I want to be around my little, because they mean so much to me. I need them to know they are wanted. Loved. Cared for. Protected. That’s what it means to me to be a Caregiver.
Many littles need structure in their lives, they benefit from the rules and expectations set by their caregiver (with their consent). There are many reasons why some littles love structure. Perhaps they want to know that they’re not in charge, and having structure reminds them they’re small, and that someone big and strong is looking out for them. Perhaps it helps them organize their day a little bit better, to remember their medications, remember this, and that. For some littles, it’s a motivation. If they’re going through a tough time, having the structure of “Oh, I need to make my bed” can help them be productive, and feel better about themselves. There are countless reasons why many littles need structure.
But I benefit from them a lot too.
It really helps me having structure, knowing what to expect, and so on. It helps me feel as if I’m doing my job as a Caretaker/Caregiver, if, at every day, I can look at a little checklist, and say, “Did you get X, Y, and Z done?”, and reward them with praise if they did. It helps me, a lot. That is another reason I am a caregiver.
For me, it really is a lifestyle, not a kink. There’s nothing I love more than making someone I care about happy. And honestly, I’m kinda kidlike in my heart and soul. I love to make things fun, I’ve never lost my love of life, nor my fascination with the world. I have so much love and joy in my heart, and I genuinely enjoy many little activities. Heck yeah, let’s make a blanket fort, and throw a stuffie tea party! I’d be happy to come draw with you, or read to you! Sure, let’s go for a walk, and I would absolutely love it if you start ranting to me about something that makes you happy, let me listen to your voice and take in the joy and excitement you have!
And to be perfectly honest, if I found my true soulmate, I’d be perfectly okay if she was asexual. As much as I enjoy being “naughty”, and all that fun stuff, being a daddy for me isn’t about sex. Yeah, it might be fun to enjoy that side of life, but I care about my little far more than just about what I can physically do to her, you know?
Being a daddy, for me, is all about how I can help my little grow and improve herself, it’s about how I can best support her on the tough days, and how I can make her heart fill with love, how I can help her feel safe, it’s about being together, and building that emotional bond of trust, love, and respect. It’s about guiding her when times are tough, and being there for her at all times. It’s about helping her to be able to shine on her own, and dazzle the world with her beautiful soul, but have a safe place to fall back to if she needs it. It’s about helping her up if she falls, encouraging her, and supporting her. It’s about sharing the joys of life together, in a way only we can.
It’s about how I can be the best person I can be, constantly working to better myself as a person.It’s about love.Really, that’s what it comes down to. It’s about love.
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