i wonder if im known for anything as a mutual

pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

while they share a similar base flavor, dick tastes more umami while pussy tastes more acidic, though recent menstruation conveys an overwhelming metallic flavor that some diners object to (though i am not one of them). recommended wine pairings are

(today i learnt that if you don’t know how a post should end, just post it unfinished anyway and someone else will come up with an ending)

no i am not immune to early 2000s pop-punk music that fucks a little harder than everyone likes to admit

I absolutely adore dogs but I think dog haters are (usually) more justified than cat haters wrt their reasoning

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

Stop moaning and arching your back - this is an autopsy!

ive said it a million times but poetry sucks

chill the fuck out Ben it’s a rejection letter from grad school now a love note from your ex

oh you're concerned about the discord changes? you should switch to using Pig. you have to host your own server and it doesn't work on mobile and obviously it doesn't have the fancier features like screensharing and voice calls and servers and file sharing and friend requests and instant messaging but it's compatible with ModoHost and Grub

let's all go out and buy pink refreshing citrusy fruity sexually arousing drinks

everytime i want something i should be shot in the head