Today I felt the urge to get back on Tumblr. As embarrassing and gratuitous it feels, I can't help but feel a little nostalgic (maybe even a little proud) there's an archive of me somewhere. Tumblr might be the last time I actually had a voice. Used my voice. Something hollow in that feeling, maybe numb, maybe a little sad. I can't help but admire how brave I was before. To take up space if just in my little corner on the internet. Still, it's public. It's out there. Laying myself bare in a way.
I won't lie--I've definitely lost that in me. Through all the life, with real and imagined barriers. Through all the feedback that I took as criticism. I've made myself incredibly small indeed.
But today, I feel like reclaiming. Maybe I think my voice matters again. Maybe I think I'm extra poetic lately. Maybe I just want to continue this as an archive of my life. Maybe it's just practice. Sharing my life has been difficult. But maybe in this little corner--in my little corner--I can feel safe again.
