﹛ #KIMUSOKA ﹜an independent & selective canon divergent & post series izuku midoriya blog. A STUDY IN . . . survivor's guilt, dealing with trauma, forgiveness of self, looking to the future, and relearning oneself. as loved by gray ( he / him, 21+ ). rules below the cut.
001. my name is gray, 33, trans man. we're here to have fun and be silly. no hate, no bigotry, and no use of ai will be tolerated here. this is a canon divergent blog for IZUKU MIDORIYA of my hero academia, POST SERIES. a majority of threads will be taking place with izuku as a 24 year old. i will not be writing with anyone under 21 for my own comfort. there may be other fandoms on this blog, so i'll go on and say that i also do not support jkr, smeyers, or anyone else who has proven to be terrible people. again, i simply enjoy the characters and the settings in which they were made in. no one is making a profit off of the gay little stories i am writing with friends.
this will be a low-effort blog with minimal formatting. you do what makes you happy ♡ you can get a more in-depth look at my rules here.
002. THERE WILL BE SPOILERS PRESENT. mostly in writing, but sometimes with imagery. everything will be tagged as ' spoilers tw. ' sometimes i may forget to tag it as such in writing with a thread, but that's because i may not be thinking about it in the moment. please be aware and take caution when looking around on my blog.
let's remember to be respectful of each other ; we are still very real people behind the screen. we're all here for fun. i will do my best to handle this character and the themes on this blog with the utmost respect. constructive criticism is welcomed ; hate is not. heavily headcanon - based, infused with whimsy. do not steal or repost my writing.
mineta is not a character i include in the story. i will not write with mineta's and will not acknowledge his existence.
003. shipping. yes, absolutely. shipping is based on CHEMISTRY. chances are i am going to ship it, but it's always best to ask just to make sure. this does NOT only apply to romantic dynamics. this is for familial, friendly, and antagonistic connections as well.
i will not take any ship bashing / hate. you do what makes you happy and i will do what makes me happy. if that does not align, please just block and unfollow. i will not be shipping any of the younger characters with the older ones.
there may be nsfw present on this blog. this does not only mean sexual content. it may mean anything that could be triggering. nsfw will not be the focus of this blog. i want to explore izuku's life post series and how he is handling everything and how his relationships with his peers have developed.
i will practice mains ( about 2-3 of each muse ) and will only take exclusives for muses outside of the fandom. in order to become a main, we have to have something going, either plotting or a thread, with the intention of delving deeper.
004. triggers. all triggers will be tagged 'trigger tw.' i will tag everything as best as i can. any nsfw is going to be tagged as 'nsft.' or 'suggestive tw.' depending on the nature of the thread. this blog will include themes of war, world history, human experimentation, monsters, violence, and more.
005. canon divergencies / post series headcanons. mha is a series i hold near and dear, so while on one hand, i can see the narrative appeal of the canon ending. on the other hand, i hated it. that being said, my izuku did not completely lose OFA. he still very much has his quirk, however, the damage done to his body ( even with eri's help ) and mental health during the final battle took its toll. izuku is able to use OFA, but not at 100%. over the years, he's been working to get his body back to peak condition and work past mental blocks to be able to be at his full potential.
he is still very much a teacher and takes great pride in being there for his students. when he has free time, he is patrolling and working with various hero agencies. he is not tied to any specific agency, despite his friends offering him a spot at theirs.
he also keeps in touch regularly with his friends & formal classmates. some he talks to more than others, but he definitely isn't as distant as he was in canon. not the best, but not gone from their lives either. not like they'd allow that to happen. he is 24, pansexual, and not exactly looking for anything romantic. he is still keeping people at arm's length in hopes that they don't see just how damaged he is ; how he sees himself as a failure.
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For a long moment, the two just stood there staring at each other. Both looking like a deer in headlights and blinking owlishly at one another. Struggling to catch up with the reality before them. It's funny how their line of thought was rather similar in that moment - both wondering if this was a quirk incident gone wrong. Well . . . he had bumped into somebody on the way to school, having apologized profusely before hurrying forward. Was it around then that everything began to feel off? Now that he thought about it after he turned the corner, things had felt . . . different.
That uneasy feeling in his stomach only worsened when the older version of himself spoke. That was his voice, more mature, sure, but it was still his. Repeating back his own name without missing a beat.
❝ But . . . I'm Izuku Midoriya and um . . .this isn't your - our? Classroom either. This is Aizawa sensei's. ❞
The poor teenager was starting to break out into a cold sweat. Despite the lack of danger sense going off, his anxiety was starting to spike. His scarred digits gripped the strap of his school bag like a lifeline. Pulse quickening in his ears at the overwhelming dread that something was wrong.
❝ Oh - ! I get it now. This is part of that practical test you were telling us about, right, sensei? About how to see through illusion quirks on the battlefield? You really got me there. For a moment, I really thought I was looking at myself. But that can't be right . . . ? ❞
His steps faltered agaisnt his own will, walking stiffly to his assigned seat only to mentally note that even that felt out of place. It looked too new to be his. Fingers ghosting along the wood where a he remered clear as day a scartch being. Alright, so they got new desks. That wasn't that weird, right? Come on, that could easily be explained. He's just being paranoid. Which hero has a quirk like this again? Maybe they are a guest teacher? Yeah . . . that had to be it. Maybe if he just went over his notes, he could jog his memory.
❝ Um . . . did we get new desks? Mine looks different than before. A - anyway. Does the illusion look different for everyone . . . ? ❞
[...]This is part of that practical test you were telling us about, right, sensei?[...]
the rushing sound in his ears is loud and he inhales sharply, a hand poised on the desk ; a lifeline. the only thing keeping him from falling to his knees. though it had been nearly a decade ago, izuku remembers this lesson from aizawa sensei. it had been a difficult test, even with danger sense. of course, his teachers didn't have any ill intent towards them, so it was hard to tell who was real and who was not.
it had taken days to figure out how to spot the illusion and even then the class had been skeptical about one another until they were certain the lesson was over.
"[...] does the illusion look different for everyone . . . ?"
"what?" quick. think fast, izuku, he tells himself. this isn't an illusion and it isn't someone pretending to be him. this was actually him. how old is he? fourteen? fifteen? lips part and close as he turns to face him, taking a deep breath. "oh, um . . . " he closes his eyes for a beat, raising a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. they shared most of the same scars ; the same memories. though . . . his were incomplete. he had not lived everything izuku had.
not yet, any way.
" . . . i'm not aizawa." a pause. "i'm izuku midoriya . . . and you are too. but you're not from my time, maybe not even my universe." eyes open as hand lowers to his chin, worrying his thumb between his teeth as he looks over at the younger version of himself. "you went straight for my desk, er . . . where it used to be, anyway. it hasn't been mine for a long time now. but if you're here, then there's got to be a way to send you back.
"i wonder if it's a timed thing, where you'll just . . . pop back to where you belong. i doubt there's a task you have to do. that'd be an incredibly specific quirk and i haven't heard of anything like that. not that it's impossible. it would make sense if we were targeted, but i don't think we were quite the threat at this point yet, either. so i'm not sure how or why . . . " izuku speaks quick, words mumbled as he goes through his rolodex of known quirks.
"either way," he says after a moment, dropping his hand, "we can't have you just sitting here. i can get someone to take over for the day, but i'll need you to come with me. are you okay with that, uh, iz- izuku?" it was strange speaking to himself like this. "aizawa's in the office. we can have him use his quirk to verify we're both who we say we are. i'm sure it'll put us at ease." and if this is an imposter, izuku will be able to apprehend them if they try to make a run for it.
It felt as if all of Musutafu had shifted before his very own eyes. Like a room you knew like the back of your hand that had something missing, but you couldn't quite figure out what it was.
Most of the buildings looked the same, but there were small things that were out of place. That corner store wasn't there yesterday. A new restaurant that had opened up two weeks ago looked as if it had been there for years. It had made him feel nausous the entire time he sprinted back to U.A. Maybe he was wrong - maybe he just hasn't been paying that much attention lately. That had to be it right?
But the comfort he was hoping to find didn't come. Instead he found him.
Matching emerald hues gazed at the man that was a near spitting image of him. An older mirror image that sent Izuku's stomach twisting in uncomfortable knots. They had a simular face despite the age diffrence but there were little details that stood out as off. Was this . . . perhaps some kind of quirk simular to Toga's? A hallucination maybe? It felt too real to be a dream. Hesitentaly he took a step back, mouth going dry.
shoulders ache from last night's patrol. once again, he's overdone it, pushed his body near its limits, but it's fine. it's always fine. the thief had been caught with minimal damage to structures, even if he did give izuku some trouble in restraining him. as much as he'd like to have stayed in bed, his daily life of teaching calls and izuku likes being there early to make sure he has everything he needs for the day.
the morning commute is quiet, as people are only just starting to stir from their slumber. he enjoys this time of day ; where he can walk through the streets and take everything in as the twilight fades from the sky. he greets the other teachers as he makes his way to his desk. he spends an hour prepping paperwork before he makes his way to his classroom.
he's never been able to get an answer out of aizawa, but he wonders if there was a reason why he was put in his old classroom. was it nostalgia? was his former teacher trying to make sure he really understood how troublesome his class had been ( even though they were all aware of how loved they were by their teacher ) ? whatever the case, it makes him want to do his best, just as aizawa had done for them.
"you're here early, ki—"
"who . . . are you?"
gaze snaps up to the voice, hit with a sudden wave of panic. eyes widen as he jumps to his feet, chair scraping back. izuku stares at him . . . at himself? he blinks once, twice, three times, and waits, holding his breath. the other him doesn't say anything ; he doesn't sling insults his way, doesn't tell him what a failure he was. so not something he's conjured up himself. was this one of the students trying to be funny?
a quick glance over tells him that, no, it isn't. even with photos of him in his youth, there is too much accuracy in the way his uniform is put together for it to be a copycat. another quick glance to his phone, only to see no notifications pop up, tells him that this isn't a school-wide problem. was this someone's quirk? he didn't remember getting hit with anything that could have caused this. the guy from last night had a gravity quirk that was a pain in the rear, but definitely nowhere near anything that could do this.
it's then he realizes he hasn't said anything to the other him. lips part and then close, not sure how to respond. a soft breath leaves him.
"i'm izuku midoriya," he says carefully, watching the other. he looks young. young enough to be a student. "but . . . you already knew that, right? it's why you came to my classroom?" izuku doesn't take his eyes off of him. danger sense isn't activating, so he doesn't think there'll be an altercation, but . . . there have been times where people haven't set it off. "why don't you start by telling me who you are? you know, it's not very kind to copy the appearances of others without asking. why don't you come take a seat?"
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@pyrostarz asked: “you can be a kind person with a good heart & still say no.” | .✦ ݁˖ ↳ 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨 ⋆ ˚ ༘♡
the floor is cold beneath him, hands resting against his chest. izuku looks over at katsuki, who is sitting on the couch, staring at him. izuku quickly looks away, the tips of his ears burning with blush. part of him is glad to have katsuki's attention on him like this, but katsuki knows him so well that there's really nowhere izuku can hide.
"yeah," he says, tensing when he hears katsuki huff. "it's just . . . hard. to say no, i mean. i feel like i owe it to them. there was a lot the public didn't know while it was going on, and i dunno . . . someone has to tell their story."
he doesn't want to forget about tenko and the others ; he doesn't want to forget their struggles. he wants to make sure no one ever feels that alone ever again. does he think he can single handedly take care of it? no, but . . . that's why he does all of these interviews and press conferences. so others can hear what it was like, so they can, hopefully, be moved to do something.
"i don't want people to forget what happened just because things have gone back to 'normal'."
@biiyou asked: "the legend part is easy. it's the living that's hard." | .✦ ݁˖ ↳ 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨 ⋆ ˚ ༘♡
"tell me about it." cheek is propped against his hand, idly swishing his beer around in its bottle. he's been nursing the same one for as long as she's been here. it isn't that he isn't in the mood to drink, but he'd rather be focused and alert, especially because they don't get a lot of quiet time like this together. izuku waits a beat before green hues flicker over to her, raising a brow.
"no, seriously, tell me about it. i mean, yes, i was agreeing, but i want to hear what's going through your mind. did something happen? you know i'm here for you, no matter when, or why. i'd drop everything to come help." he sits back, lifting the bottle to take a swig.
"do you need to me to shake someone down for you?"
@candyl0v3 asked: "you can be a kind person with a good heart and still say no." + shinso <3 | .✦ ݁˖ ↳ 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨 ⋆ ˚ ༘♡
quiet groan leaves him from where his head is hiding in his arms. often times, izuku wished he wouldn't be perceived. if he could just go about his day, get his work done, and come home, he'd be alright with that. and for the most part, that is what his days are like. but every once in a while . . .
" . . . what if i've already tried being kind and saying no? they just won't take the hint, shi-chan." he tugs are green curls, peeking over his arm to look at his friend. "they've cornered me at the grocery store, out on the street. i think it's sweet, y'know? but i'm not interested in them the way they are me." he pauses before he suddenly sits up, reaching out to grab shinso's hands in his. "pretend to be my boyfriend. that way i can turn them down for real this time!"
@aoikiri asked: "it's okay to be sad after making the right decision." | .✦ ݁˖ ↳ 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨 ⋆ ˚ ༘♡
"it still doesn't feel great to see you in cuffs." izuku eyes them warily. he hates to have used them, but nagisa had given him a bit of a hard time catching him. why had he been running? he . . . still doesn't know. there are so many questions izuku has, too many to land on just one and use it as his starting point. how long has it been since they'd last seen each other?
too long.
izuku still remembered the empty feeling in his chest when he realized nagisa wasn't coming back. he had never considered it as his best friend abandoning him, but it still hurt, nevertheless.
"you're way too calm for this situation, nagi-chan. just . . . talk to me. i can get you out of those cuffs if you tell me what's going on."
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@solivcgant asked: ❝ Did somebody write ‘stupid’ on my forehead? ❞ | .✦ ݁˖ ↳ 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨 ⋆ ˚ ༘♡
"eh?" head perks up at the sound of the other's voice, moving some of the papers from the table to make room for him. gaze flickers about the cafe before he looks back to eiji, blinking. there definitely wasn't anything written on his forehead when he showed up a few minutes ago, nor when he went to put their orders in. one quick glance and he can confirm that there is still nothing on his forehead.
"uh . . . no. thanks." brows furrow as he reaches for his cup of tea, head canting slightly. as fingers carefully curl around the cup, he glances back to the counter. "what happened? was someone using new lingo again?" a tired sigh leaves him, head hanging slightly. "every day it's something new. unfortunately, 6 - 7 keeps making its way back into the rotation in class. it wasn't anything like that, was it?"
he looks at her, incredulous. izuku blinks once, twice, three times before he lets out an amused breath of a laugh. "oh? i couldn't tell." they had been standing on the strip with others when someone had called out alya's name. danger sense had gone off immediately and alya's expression was all izuku needed before he had scooped her up, using smokescreen to give them cover, and took off into the air.
they're currently hidden atop a building a safe distance away from where they were spotted. green hues scan the horizon, watching for any coming danger.
"who were those guys, anyway? you looked like you recognized them, and they seemed like trouble."
@candyl0v3 asked: "they didn't deserve death. i did . . . i do." + toga <3 | .✦ ݁˖ ↳ 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨 ⋆ ˚ ༘♡
"no." the response is immediate, a bit harsher than he means it to be. izuku takes a breath, holds it for a beat, then slowly exhales, scrubbing a hand down over his face. "don't . . . say that." while he still can't condone what the league of villains did, as their actions cost the lives of many innocent people, the lives of people he looked up to, he doesn't think death should be the automatic consequence.
the guilt still sits heavy in his chest, thinking there was more he could have done. had he been stronger, faster, more aware of what was really going on . . . perhaps he would have gotten through to tenko faster. maybe he could have saved a lot more people. despite the guilt that weighs him down, he knows it isn't comparable to what himiko might be feeling.
"i'm sorry," he says, rubbing his hands along his thighs, leg bouncing. "it's not that . . . i'm not in a position to judge. i want to believe that if i were in your shoes, i would have done things differently, but i don't know that. i wish there was something i could have done to save your friends. i'll carry the blame for that." he always has, hasn't he? "but i'm . . . glad you're alive. whether you believe it or not, you are making an impact. because of you, uravity is helping kids who may feel the way you did - the way you do. you are changing the world, whether you want to believe it or not."
@pyrostarz asked: “i’m THIS close to fucking snapping.” | .✦ ݁˖ ↳ 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨 ⋆ ˚ ༘♡
"whoa ! " hands fly up in self-defense, even if the answer isn't directed towards him. still, brows furrow, concerned, as izuku steps into katsuki's line of sight. "deep breaths, kacchan. there's no need to snap, alright? uh . . . " he looks over his shoulder at the slowly growing crowd that has realized a pro-hero has been walking amongst them.
" . . . they're just excited to see you. a few pictures wouldn't hurt, yeah? it's not like it'll stop us from getting food. we've got plenty of time, and i'll even call ahead to make sure we can get a private booth. sound like a plan?"
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