Jeenuh

Most people think happiness is about gaining something, but it’s not. It’s all about getting rid of the darkness you accumulate.

The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.

Are you over him?” He suddenly asks with curiosity laced in his blue eyes. I take a deep breath before answering. “You can’t ask me that. I honesty don’t know. Some days the pain isn’t quite as bad, but then other days are pure hell without him. Some days I sob endlessly over him, while other days I hardly shed a tear. I’m just a roller coaster full of emotions. I’m a paradox. I want him happy but sometimes I wish I was still the reason. I get upset that I still think about him, when I don’t even cross his mind. I want to scream at him for making me feel pathetic, I want to tell him I miss him more than he could ever imagine, I want to ask him why I was never good enough when I tried my hardest. I want to ask him how life is so easy without me. I want to scream at him for leaving me. I want to tell him to come back to me. I want to tell him to stop running away. That everything hurtful he’s done is nothing compared to the heartache of not having him in my life anymore. And then I have days that I truly convince myself that I’m over him. When I convince myself that he lost me - a girl who loved him more than anything.” I say as I try to smile at the boy in front of me. “To be quite honest, I have no idea if I’m over him. Maybe I am … maybe I’m not. Who knows?