Killing Me BTOB

Hot. That was the first thing that came to my mind as I stirred awake. I clearly remember turning on the A/C before getting under the covers. Annoyed at the sticky and sweaty feeling, I groaned as I shifted. A deep, familiar grunt caused me to stop moving.

The sound snapped me out of my mind out of its fuzzy state. The low timbre awakened my nerves, making me aware of the solid chest pressed against my back and warm hand that squeezing at my bare hip. It was only then that I realized that the oversized shirt I wore to bed had been pushed up to my waist. It didn’t help that I decided to skip out on wearing underwear after a long and exhausting yet pleasurable night.

I wanted to turn back to gaze at the culprit and to tease him about his high sex drive but the hardness pressing against the curve of my ass prevented me from doing so.

“Fuck,” I groaned when his fingers dug harder into my hip as he moved his pelvis against me; his member sliding along my butt crease. I could feel my gut twist at the heat. To tease me even more, his lips found the side of my neck that was left exposed by the huge shirt. I pressed myself back against him as he continued to hump my behind the moment he nibbled on the junction of my neck.

The man grunted my name. I felt myself gush at the sound of it.

“Hyunsik,” I whined, needy. “More.” It made him chuckle.

I couldn’t register what happened next. All I knew was he had pushed himself up above me, leaving me trapped between his naked body and the bed with his arms and knees on either side of me.

"You’re still not tired from last night?” I couldn’t help but ask as he took the hem of my shirt with one hand. He tugged it up and off before he responded.

“I should be asking you that. How was your dream? You kept on moaning my name.”

For a second, I was confused. But it all came rushing back. My cheeks burned as I remembered my wet dream wherein he was fucking me against the bed from behind. The memory of it had me moaning. My thighs pressed and moved against each other. The desire to relieve myself from the heat had gotten higher.

Hyunsik’s lips settled into a smirk as he watched my desperate self. He tutted, shaking his head, before placing both his hands on my thighs and moved them apart. The wave of cold air against my bare core made me squirm.

“Was your dream that good?” He teased, one of his hands moving to my folds. I held my breath when he drew one finger from my clit down to my hole. “Fucking wet.”

“Please,” I begged, my hips pushing up against his static finger for a little bit of friction.

The smirk on his lips widened as he watched me try to pleasure myself on such a small thing. But he withdrew his hand and pushed my hip down with it.

“What was your dream about?” He murmured. Hyunsik lowered himself down against me, his chest almost meeting mine with our lower bodies pressed together. His cock had slipped in between my folds. Slowly, he moved as he waited for me to answer.

But I couldn’t. I choked on my words as I took in the feeling.

He stopped. “Tell me or we can forget about this and just go back to sleep.”

I protested, trying to push against him. My effort were futile with his weight pushing me back against the mattress.

“You,” I breathed. “You were fucking me against the bed from behind. I was flat on my stomach and you were just thrusting into me, pushing me down against the mattress.”

Hyunsik grunted. “Do you want that?”

“Yes.” I was breathless.

Quickly, he flipped me over. My chest and stomach were now against the mattress. I could feel his weight on the back of my thighs as he spread my legs further apart. His hands kneaded my butt cheeks before pushing them apart, revealing my glistening hole.

He didn’t bother teasing me with his fingers. He went on ahead and slipped just the head of his cock inside me. The stretch had me moaning and crying for more.

“Yes.” I gasped as I felt more of him slipping inside me. Once his full length was in, he leaned down, his chest against my back, his hands on either side of my head.

He pushed just a little. The feeling inside and the friction against my clit made my walls clench. He growled, his lips just right by my ear.

 I keep on walking and the yellow rain coat that I am wearing makes so much noise as I squeeze myself between people dancing and jumping around me in this crowded room.

 All of them doesn’t mind my noisy costume thanks to the loud music blasting from every direction.

 The air is wafting with cigarette smoke, mixed perfumes, and alcohol smell. I am getting stuffy and the rain coat is making things worse.

 I need to get out.

 There. There’s the door. Just straight ahead.

 Holding my umbrella above me, I squeeze my way out.

 I walk and pull myself out of the crowd until I reach the door to open it.

 Cold night breeze welcomes me and I feel like I can breathe again. Like I just recovered from a bad case of flu after suffering it for many days.

 I remove my rain boots and walked down the porch to the front lawn. As soon as my feet touch the the dewy grass I feel so much better.

 Why did I choose this costume? I should’ve anticipated that since this is a Halloween Party, there will be people. Lots of them, actually.

 I don’t even remember whose house this belongs to. I was just told at school that there will be a party and so I joined. I thought that maybe it will be an opportunity for me to get to know the people and make new friends. It’s been over a month since I moved in this town with my family and I still eat lunch alone. Most high school students my age would be hanging out with friends during weekends. I just want to be like that too. I wasn’t one back in my old town and so now wanted my life here to be different.

 I knew it! There must be something in that fruit punch that they gave me earlier. I can’t remember how many cups of it I’ve gulped down. It tasted like normal fruit punch but much tastier. And before I knew it, I felt light headed but good and I can’t wipe the goofy smile on my face.

 I’m so tired. I just want to rest and the lawn looks so inviting.

 I lie down and let the moist from the grass dampen the back of my limbs and my hair.

 Clutching my umbrella with the chunky stuffed cats and dogs glued to it, I look up to the clear night sky.

 The stars are pretty, twinkling like little diamonds.

 I snort a laugh as the tune of Twinkle, twinkle little star plays in my head.

 The sky starts spinning before my eyes and I feel like throwing up. Maybe I can close my eyes for a bit and hope that the feeling will go away.

 As soon as I did, I took steady, calm breaths.

 “Please tell me you aren’t dead,” someone says beside me.

 I force my eyes open to find a bulky man crouching as he looks down at me.

 No, he’s not bulky. His costume is bulky. A silver-ish bulky costume.

 I squint my eye to get a closer look at him.

 Oh! It’s him. It’s the guy from my Science class. The cute guy who quietly sat at the back of the room.

 “You think I’m cute?” he asks.

 Oh wow! He could read my mind?

 “No. You’re speaking out loud.”

 “I am?!” Shoot. Looks like I really am.

 “Are you okay? Do you need some kind of help?”

 “Yeah, I-I’m okay.” I quickly sit up and instantly regret it because I feel like I am about to puke my guts out.

 He chuckles. “Had too much to drink, huh? Here, eat this.” He hands me a ghost shaped peppermint.

 As I reluctantly take the candy from him and eat it, I realize what his costume is. He’s an astronaut. His helmet is beside him.

 “Thanks,” I say, already feeling less nauseous.

 And then, he smiles. The warmest and friendliest smile that I’ve gotten since I moved here. His already small eyes reduced to nothing but two slits the moment he smiled. He reminds me so much of the sun.

 “Hyunsik,” he say.

 “Huh? What?”

 “Hyunsik is the name of the cute guy in Science class.”

 I feel my cheeks burn. Damn! Now that the cool mint is spreading inside my mouth I can feel the light-headedness subside and it is dawning on me how humiliating it is that I called him cute. What the hell was I thinking?

 “What is your costume supposed to be?” he asks.

 I can see his brow furrow in puzzlement as he looks at my rain coat and the umbrella with stuff toys. I know that he is trying to make sense of what it is--- everyone I met tonight had the same expression on their face.

 “It’s uhm…” How can I explain this?! “It’s…” I open the umbrella and hold it above my head. “It’s Raining Cats and Dogs,” I say--- a little too enthusiastically, I just realized.

 His face is unreadable and I just want to disappear in thin air.

 I am about to run away like a mad woman when he suddenly starts laughing.

 “That’s cute and witty,” he say.

 I feel my heart thumping. He thinks it’s cute!

 “You’re new here, right?”

 I nod my head. I don’t know what’s happening but the words just left me. I’m distracted by his beautiful face.

 “Want to go Trick or Treat-ing?”

 “Uhm.. I-I think I’m too old for that.”

 “No one’s too old for candies. Come on,” he stands up and offers his hand to me. “Let’s walk around till you sober up and go Trick or Treat-ing as well.

 I hesitate. “Wouldn’t they find it funny that we are doing that?”

 “Nah. I grew up here. I knew everyone here. I’ve been Trick or Treat-ing here for many years and I know the neighborhood by heart, which also means I know exactly which houses give out the King Size chocolate bars.”

 What could go wrong? I would choose this than go back in there with those people.

 “Ok.”

 I take his hand and let him lead me down the street.

Their maknae had always been a needy one. That’s why it was no surprise to Changsub when he felt a large hand wrap around his wrist before he was being harshly tugged towards a secluded area backstage. The older didn’t protest, knowing that Sungjae wouldn’t have listened.

“Changsub hyung,” the younger whined, their bodies pressed together in a small, tight, and dark room. It was far enough from everyone that he had dared to speak normally. No one would find them, he was sure. His lips were on the milky white skin of the older man, his hands frantically undoing the buttons of his partner’s loose polo.

Changsub relished the way Sungjae nipped at his skin. The other was mindful not to leave any marks visible in areas that could be seen by others. However, the younger showed no mercy as he started trailing down the other’s abdominal area to his thighs. The groans and gasps he let out further encouraged Sungjae to bite and suck a little harder.

It was quick work, how the maknae undid his partner’s pants and pulled down all his clothing. The stuffy air mixed with Sungjae’s hot breaths had Changsub groaning and thrusting his hips towards the younger.

A sharp gasp escaped his mouth the moment Sungjae wrapped his lips around the tip. Changsub’s fingers were quick to weave into the younger’s hair. His grip tightened, causing Sungjae to moan, when he felt the other harshly suck on the head of his cock.

”Fuck,” Changsub shuddered, the warmth that enveloped his entire length sent jolts of pleasure throughout his whole body. He couldn’t help but thrust his hips when Sungjae groaned around his member.

The younger sucked and licked until the other was hard. He was proud of the whine he received the moment he slipped the cock out of his lips. Sungjae stood quickly and shimmied out of his own jeans and underwear. He, too, was hard; his member standing erect with pre-cum leaking out his tip.

In the small space, he stood facing the opposite wall and hinged down at the hips. He looked back at Changsub who was gawking at him with lust-blown eyes and with his hand wrapped around his length.

“Ah, fuck,” his loud groan echoed in the small enclosed space. “W-What are you… Ah…“ He couldn’t continue what he was saying as his words were interrupted by a moan because my hand pressed a little harder on his clothed bulge.

A smirk played on my lips as I eyed his hands that were gripping the steering wheel. His knuckles had turned white. Just a little more and he’d probably be making more indents on it. Every time I would ease the pressure that’s on his sensitive organ, he’d loosen his grip lightly while releasing a deep breath. Then he’d be back to the tight grip when I’d ground my palm.

“This is payback, you know.” I teased, reminding him of what he had done under the dinner table while we were having a meal with our long-time friends.

“Fuck.” He breathed deeply as I unbuttoned his pants. “Stop. We might… We might get into an accident.” His voice had trailed off towards the end. I had slowly pulled down his zipper, the metal teasingly grazing his clothed member. His head was pressed against the head rest, lips agape due to his heavy breathing.

“Stop?” I widely grinned, eyes glinting with mischief. “How can I when you’re obviously enjoying this?” At that, I tugged down his underwear. His member stood tall and hard. My mouth watered at the sight of it; my heart thumping faster as I wrapped my hand around its thickness.

My name breathlessly slipped out of his lips as I felt the car swerve a bit to the right before being set straight once again. I chuckled, obviously pleased at the power I had over him.

I unfastened my seatbelt and shimmied on my seat for a better position. Slowly, I lowered myself across the center console until my lips were hovering above his length.

His stifled grunt reached my ears the moment I blew against the sensitive flesh. He cursed as my tongue grazed the slit.

---

The soft thuds of pen holders and the sounds of paper shuffling down to the ground were the last things on my mind as I held my breath, both my wrists tightly secured behind me by one of his hands. His other hand, which was in between my shoulder blades, roughly pushed me down until my chest met the cold wood of his sturdy office table. A strangled moan escaped my lips, the sensations against my bare skin making me shiver with anticipation.

I felt him press his body against mine while his knee slipped in between my legs, the heat a welcomed contrast to the coolness of the surface. The moment his nose teasingly grazed the junction where my neck and shoulder met, I couldn’t help but whimper like a dog in heat. He chuckled darkly before the tip of his tongue trailed down the side of my neck.

“Sungjae,” I whined, wanting more. He had been moving slowly and teasingly since he had trapped me in between him and his desk. “Stop teasing me.”

A loud gasp erupted from my throat when he harshly sunk his teeth on the skin of my shoulder. He tutted and lowly murmured, “So impatient.” 

The deep timbre of his voice spread heat all over my body, mostly in the area in between my thighs. I couldn’t help but squirm, moaning when I ended up pressing my clothed core against his firm thigh. Uncontrollably, my hips moved against his leg; my body trying to get as much friction as possible to relieve the aching feeling.

Sungjae growled, pressing his weight more against me to stop my movements. I could feel the bulge in his pants pressing against the curve of my ass.

“You’re so needy,” he groaned, grinding his hips against my body. All I could do was lie limply against his desk, soft moans spilling from my lips. His free hand trailed down the side of my body, fingers teasing at the exposed skin, and stopped at the waistline of my black, tight skirt. “You planned for this, didn’t you? The way you were swaying your hips as you passed by me and the way your eyes glimmered with want while you bit down on your lip." He inhaled sharply at the memory.

"Please, sir." I wanted to cry as I was unable to do anything with him pushing me more against his desk. My mind and body yearned for him.

He deeply grunted, pleased at my begging. His hand continued downwards until it slipped under my skirt. The tip of his finger deftly pushed against my clothed clit, making me cry his name loudly and repeatedly without inhibitions. At that point, I didn't care if anyone passed by his office and heard us. My focus was solely on his finger that had slipped beneath my underwear, prodding at my entrance.

As a little girl, that was enough to scare me. The mere sight of the run-down structure was enough to send chills down my spine. I don’t know if it was just my imagination but, sometimes, I think I heard a low chuckle when I was near the place.

 So, I willed myself to forget about it. It was just a little part of our property and there was no harm in not minding the place at all.

 Years passed, I grew up and got into college. I stayed in a dorm, leaving my parents at home. I did tell them that I could just enroll in a university where we lived since I do not want to part with them. But my father insisted that I move out.

 “At least for two years,” my father said, trying to smile but I could see his eyes flicker in fear. An emotion that he was trying to hide. “Just until your 20th birthday.”

 Thinking that maybe they just wanted me to learn to be independent, I obeyed.

 A year passed, I received a message that my parents died in a car accident as they were on their way to visit me during the holidays.

 It crushed my soul and I blamed myself. If only I insisted that I would be the one to visit them, then maybe they would still be alive.

 With a heavy heart, I returned to the empty mansion to take care of the things that they left.

 As the will was read to me by our lawyer, one line caught my attention:

 “The mansion, or any of the parts of the property, shall never be sold under any circumstances.”

 It was weird, yes, but I never bothered to know the reason why.

 Staying in the house filled with happy memories of my parents killed me.

 I told myself that I would only be staying for a week.

 On the second night of my stay, I had a dream.

 I dreamt that I was walking under the oak tree behind the house. There was a whisper like the wind that was calling my name.

 That was it, then I woke up. Cold sweat beaded on my forehead.

 As the nights went on, the dreams kept on coming. It was the same every night but, little by little, I got farther away from the oak tree and past the big pond. On the sixth night, I was standing in front of the run-down greenhouse.

 I forgot that it existed.

 The following morning, I decided to go to the greenhouse.

 I was no longer the scared little girl. I knew that the stories weren’t true and that the dreams I had were just childhood memories clouded by my playful imagination.

 As expected, the place was old and smelled like wet wood and moss. Inside were a bunch of broken pots that probably once held beautiful flowers. Wild grass grew everywhere, covering the paved floor.

 There’s nothing scary here. Just a bunch of old pots and gardening tools. I thought.

 That was until I noticed an old door on the other side on the greenhouse. I almost missed it because of the planks placed on top of it.

 There was a strong, magnetic feeling drawing me to it. Before I knew what I was doing, my feet had moved to its direction. Next, I was already inside it, walking down a narrow, dark stone tunnel.

 I walked and walked like my feet didn’t belong to me. The only thoughts in my mind was that I need to get there.

 I stopped in my tracks when I heard a deep chuckle that came from the darkest part of the tunnel.

 The dank air became colder and a chill crept up my spine.

 Fear of the unknown enveloped me.

 The chuckle stopped and I heard chains moving like it was being dragged on concrete.

 “You’re finally here,” a man’s voice said.

 I wanted to run but I couldn’t. Whoever it was, I knew it wasn’t human.

 The sound of chains became closer. My eyes, little by little, adjusted to the dark until I could see a vague figure walking towards me.

 I froze in terror.

 He laughed coldly. “Did they really think that they could take you away from me?”

 My heart stopped.

 In the middle of the darkness, his eyes shone yellow.

Trainings were not just physically exhausting but mentally as well. Staying away from our families and friends made the experience more difficult as well. Communication with them was rare. There were days when we wanted to call home to feel reenergized and to hear how they were doing to pull us through our toughest days but we weren’t allowed to do so. That’s why we cherished our vacation leaves. It was the only time that we truly get to spend with them.

However, everything started to change.

What was once a peaceful land became one that was subjected to war.

Every waking moment became riddled with fear. Fear for our country, fear for our families, and fear for our fellow soldiers. Underneath it all, even if most of us tried not to show it, there was also a fear for ourselves and our assignments. Fear that we might never get to see the people we cared for.

With a war ongoing, none of us knew if and when we were going to be called out to the frontlines. We may be serving a mandatory service but we’re still part of the country’s military power. We may not be the first in line to head out onto the battlefield but we were on the list. It was just a matter of time until we were going to be called out. No one was safe from it.

As the number of soldiers in our camp lessened, it was getting harder to keep holding on to my sense of duty. Many times, I’ve wanted to pack my things and head to the confines of my home. Many times, I wanted to rip off the patches on my uniform and leave my military life behind.

Then it came in the form of a letter.

Wobbly and sweaty hands opened the sealed crisp envelope. My heartbeat was drumming loudly in my ears. I thought that it was going to jump out of my chest with how fast it was beating. A shaky breath escaped my lips as I pulled a crisp, white paper out.

//

I thought that I was ready. I assumed that I’ve conditioned myself and my mind enough for what was happening. However, no amount of preparation could’ve prepared me for the world of pain that I had to endure. The moment she shakily opened her mouth as tears started forming in her eyes, my world had collapsed.

I wanted to hold her, to assure her that it was going to be okay—that I was going to be okay—but I couldn’t. I stood frozen because I knew no words could ever take away the fear and the pain that she was experiencing.

“Why?” She finally found her voice. It shook and it was almost inaudible. I wouldn’t have heard her if not for the silence that was wrapped around us. “Why you? Why does it have to be you?”

The only thing I could do was lower my head. I didn’t know why and even if I did have the answer, I wouldn’t have been able to bring myself to say it and break her even more. All I knew was it was something irreversible, unless an unforeseen event occurs.

“It’s my duty,” I replied but to my ears, it was as if I was convincing myself. My usual conviction and pride weren’t there. At that moment, the word duty felt too much to carry on my shoulders. “It’s my duty as a soldier of this country.” I continued but even that statement was mechanical.

“Duty?” She scoffed. “Then what about your duty to me? To your family? You’re just going to set it aside because your country called on you? Are we less important than your country? You’re only serving mandatory service and you’re about to finish in a few months!”

I could feel her anger and her fear seeping through her words, no matter how selfish they sounded. They were like knives digging into my skin and deep into my bones. I knew that she didn’t mean to compare. I knew that the words coming from her lips were becoming unfiltered the more we stood in our living room.

“I have to go,”

“That’s all you can say? You’re not even going to try to appeal to whoever decided to send you out?” She ran her fingers through her hair as she started to pace in front of me. Her lips twisted into a frown, eyes confused and frantic.

“I don’t want to leave you and my family but I have to go. Please, you have to understand that I’m doing this so I can help protect this country, most importantly you.”

That statement about protection that we were repeatedly taught and told had been so deeply engrained in my soul that it was the only thing I could defend myself with. Yet, it left a bitter taste on my tongue.

“You don’t have to go to the frontlines to protect me!” she raised her voice. “You also have to understand that I’d rather have you here safe and away from the battlefield. There are so many other people who can go in your place. It doesn’t have to be you.”

I kept silent as I watched her start biting on her nails. I wanted to reach out to her and hold her still. I wanted to hold her tightly and closely to my chest but the moment I took a step closer, her hardened eyes shifted to me, making my knees lock. She continued to pace.

“You know that I can’t do anything about their decision,” I pleaded with her. It was my last saving grace in this situation. I was desperate to get her to understand that I was just following what my superiors told me to do. After all, who was I to go against their orders? I may be serving mandatory service but that didn’t exempt me from my title as a soldier.

“Have you even tried?!” At that, she stopped walking and faced me. “Huh? Have you tried, Changsub?”

I bit my tongue, not wanting to say anything wrong. I was threading on thin ice and one wrong statement would break that surface.

She sighed in exasperation as she shook her head. “I can’t believe this,” she uttered. “When are they making you leave?”

In three days, my mind answered but my lips were sewn shut. If she knew that I was getting deployed on Monday, she would break. However, I couldn’t hide that from her. She had to know. She deserved to know. Then maybe we can spend the rest of the days cherishing the last few moments we had together until I return.

…If I return.

“When?” She continued to press.

I deeply exhaled and shakily answered, “Monday.”

A flurry of emotions crossed her features as we stared at each other. Neither of us spoke a word for a full minute. Neither made a move nor a sound. Then she scoffed and rolled her eyes. With a shake of her head, she turned her back towards me.

“I can’t do this,” she stated and walked towards the couch. I kept my eyes on her slouched figure that sat quietly. Once in a while, she would heavily sigh.

My gut twisted and my heart clenched in pain. I could barely feel anything aside from that. I was lost. I didn’t know what to tell her to make it better because I knew that there was nothing I could say that would make her feel at ease. Despite having no words for her, I moved to sit beside her but she scooted a few inches away.

A sigh left my lips as I did my best not to let it get to me.

“Hey,” I softly and gently called as I reached for her hand. I laced our fingers together and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “You know I’ll come back, right?”

The glare I received made me shut my mouth. She even withdrew her hand from mine and crossed her arms tightly before looking away. I silently scolded myself, knowing that I was being insensitive with my statement. With a shake of my head, I tried again.

“Do you want to watch a movie?”

Silence.

“Are you hungry?”

No response.

“Do you want to go to the bookstore?”

It was our favorite spot in our small city so I was holding onto a small bit of hope that she would respond. But she didn’t. She kept her body turned away from me. All I could do was rub the back of my neck as I thought of what I else I could try.

“Ice cream?” I started to name all the different comfort food that she usually consumed but it was the same. I received no response.

Part of me was annoyed. I knew she was scared but so was I. She wasn’t the only one suffering from this situation. I knew I was leaving so many people behind with no assurance that I’d come back safely. However, I acknowledged the fact that acting out on her attitude and getting mad wouldn’t do us well. I’ve wanted to spend the next few days I have making different memories with her that would last for a long time. I didn’t want to spend it fighting.

“I know that this is difficult to accept. I know because it’s also a hard pill for me to swallow. I’m sorry if I came across as insensitive to how you’re feeling. I just don’t know how to go about this. I know you don’t want me to go. I don’t either but I also have a duty to our country. I’m afraid. I’m terrified but this is something that I have to do.”

She didn’t say a word as she continued to keep her back towards me. I couldn’t see the emotions in her eyes.

“It’s been a long journey coming home.” I tried to sound as if I wasn’t hurting inside. “I’ll take a rest first and let you think, okay?”

Slowly, I reached for her shoulder and gave it a light squeeze of reassurance that she could talk to me about whatever it was that was going on in her head—her fears, her doubts, everything. However, I acknowledge the fact that she needed some time to think things through as well. She needed her own space.

With one last sigh, I silently made my way to our room.

I did my best to sleep after changing into more comfortable clothes but all I could do was lie on our bed and stare at the dull ceiling. My body was physically exhausted but my mind was bouncing and juggling different thoughts all around. I’ve tried closing my eyes and wishing for sleep to overcome me but all I could see behind my eyelids was her saddened eyes. Bored, I turned to the side and faced my bedside drawer.

The dog tag that I wore every day since I graduated from military training sat silently on top of it. It was something I continuously wore with pride.

Then my gaze moved to a framed photo standing behind it. The frame held a photo of us sitting side-by-side on the floor of a library, our backs against the shelf, and our noses buried in two different books. It was a photo taken by a friend of ours back when we were in our last year of college. The memory was a little hazy but the warmth I felt in my chest every time I looked at it told me that it was a good and happy one.

Her question kept ringing in my ear.

Have you even tried, Changsub?

What could I do though? Pretend to get into an accident and have myself confined in a hospital until they don’t need any more soldier deployed?

I know that I didn’t try but I’ve seen fellow soldier who have and none of them ever came with good news. If anything, the frowns on their faces deepened as if they’ve been given more burden to carry.

Slightly, I shook my head and tried to sleep once more. I wasn’t sure how long I stayed in that way but when I blinked my eyes open, there was no more light filtering through the window and I was lying on my back. The room had turned dark, minus the light coming from the opened bedroom door.

I noticed how the whole house was still silent. I shifted, getting ready to stand, when I felt the weight of another body curled up against my side. In the dark, I was slowly starting to see her figure as my eyes adjusted. Carefully, I turned a little to my side so that I could see her better.

Her eyes were gently closed, her lips slightly parted, as she deeply breathed in and out. One of her arms was lightly draped across my torso. I smiled at how peaceful she looked. It was a complete 180-degree turn from her distraught features earlier.

Lightly, I ran my fingers through the soft strands of her hair.

If only we could stay like this. If only I didn’t have to go. Different kinds of fear struck my heart as I absent-mindedly continued brushing her hair with my fingers.

What if I get injured? What if I lose a leg, a foot, a limb, or any kind of body part? What if I get caught as a prisoner of war? What if we get sent off to a distant place where there were barely any supplies?

What if I get caught in a rain of bullet? In a grenade’s explosion?

What if I couldn’t go back home?

What if I die?

The thoughts made me freeze, the cold slowly prickling my skin and my insides.

It was only when I felt her small hand gently circle my wrist that I realized I had stopped my movements. My eyes, which were filled with fear, gazed down towards her curious ones. The frown that was pulling down at her lips told me that she had an idea of what was going through my head. Before she could even say anything, I gave her a small smile.

“Seeing that you’ve snuggled up to me while I was sleeping,” I teased. My lips were slowly pulling up into a smirk. “Is it safe to assume that you’re going to talk to me now?”

She rolled her eyes, pulling at my wrist to remove my hand from her hair. I watched as she pushed herself up to sit before crossing her arms in front of her chest. Her cheeks were a bit puffed, her eyes cast towards the side. In a low voice, she said, “I still don’t understand why you, of all people, have to go.”

Piece by piece, I could feel my heart breaking.

“But,” she continued. “I do understand that there are things out of our control. I’m sorry for acting the way I did earlier.”

I shook my head as I shifted on the bed so that I could sit up and lean back on the headboard. “You don’t have to say sorry. There’s nothing to apologize for,” I assured her.

Only a hint of a smile made its way to her lips before she asked, “Is the offer to go for ice cream still available?”

It was adorable how she shyly asked. I couldn’t fight how my lips pulled up just to one side in an amused smile. “Oh, now you want ice cream?”

Her nostrils flared as she pouted. “Fine. Let’s not go for ice cream,” she huffed before crawling off of the bed. However, before she even got to move away, I had leaned forward to grab onto her forearm.

“Not so fast.” I chuckled before tugging at her arm to pull her towards me. She whined and made sounds of protests as I held her to me, her back against my chest. When I had secured my arms around her waist and brushed the tip my nose against the crook of her neck, she deeply inhaled and held her breath, her body stiff.

“C-Changsub,” another whine but it was obviously forced. I could almost hear how her heart was pounding wildly.

I didn’t say anything and just breathed against her skin. I took in the way she smelled and tried to embed it into my memory as much as I could. I did my best to memorize how her body felt against mine as we stayed in that position. Gradually, I could feel her stiff body loosening and molding into mine.

“Let’s have ice cream later,” I mumbled, closing my eyes and just relishing the moment. I knew that when this weekend was over, neither of us would know when this could happen again. “I want to stay like this for now,” I whispered against the exposed skin of her neck before slowly peppering butterfly kisses on it.

She let out a shaky breath and slowly nodded her head. “Okay,” she squeaked out softly and adjusted herself so that she laid comfortably against my chest.

----

They were right. The days you want to last forever pass by quickly. Part of me refused to believe that it was already Sunday evening. Even if we’ve done so many things and visited so many places over the past days, it still doesn’t feel enough. I still wanted more time to spend with her. There were still so many things I wanted to do with her.

“What’s the first thing you want to do together when you get back?” She softly asked, her eyes locked on mine as we lay on the bed facing each other.

“I want to spend it at home, with you,” I honestly told her. “And rest. Take a long sleep.”

“And what am I supposed to do while you’re sleeping?”

“Sleep?”

She rolled her eyes at that. “So, the first day you come back, we’re both going to sleep? Nice.” I didn’t miss the sarcastic tone laced in her words.

I gently smiled. “We can do all the things you want to do after I sleep. Is there anywhere you want to go?”

She thought about it, her lips pouted a little like a kid. “Coffee shop. While you’re away, I’m going to go to different coffee shops and try everything I can. When you get back, I’ll take you to the best ones I find. Bookstores too!”

I nodded at her, keeping the smile on my lips. She kept on listing down the places she wanted us to visit together. Slowly and little by little, my heart ached the more she continued. Her eyes shone with hope.

I didn’t want to disappoint her but I also didn’t want to put a damper onto her mood. The only thing I could do was to hold onto those places and make them a motivation for me to get out alive and to get back to her.

“Changsub? Are you still listening?” She huffed.

“Of course.”

“Really? Then what was the last thing I said?”

Nervously, I laughed. “Coffee shop,” I sheepishly replied.

The girl in front of me groaned as she shook her head. With a sigh, she uttered, “I knew it. You and your love for coffee.”

I moved so that I could stretch out my hands and hold hers. “Whatever it is you want to do and whatever place you want to go to, I’ll go with you. I promise,” I warmly stated, meaning each and every word of it despite the uncertainty of my return. “I’ll come back and we’ll do all the things you want to do together.”

She gazed up at me for a long time. Neither of us said a word. The only time the silence broke was when she sighed.

“Make sure you come back, okay?”

I smiled but I knew it didn’t reach my eyes. I had to fight the frown that was threatening to pull down at my lips. “Of course,” I whispered. “I’ll come back. I promise.”

“Okay.”

Even if we both knew that there was no certainty, we both relished in that promise that may or may not be empty in the end.

“You should go to sleep. We have to go to the pier early tomorrow,” I told her when I realized that it was almost close to midnight. She had wanted to send me off even when I told her that she didn’t need to. But I folded in when her eyes reflected disappointment and sadness. Even if it would be difficult for the both of us, I ended up agreeing in the end.

“I don’t want to,” she mumbled like a kid. “I’m not sleepy.”

“Your eyes say otherwise,” I mused. “I know you’re tired. We’ve had a long day.”

“I don’t want to yet. I want to spend more time with you,” she shyly mumbled, a blush dusting her cheeks.

“We can sleep together.”

“Do things while awake!” She rolled her eyes. I laughed.

“Okay,” I caved in. “Reruns of your favorite show?”

Eagerly she nodded her head, the tiredness in her eyes fading away. She quickly jumped out of bed and made her way out of the bedroom. Fondly, my eyes trailed after her before I moved. I brought along with me our blanket.

I found her sitting with her legs crossed under her on the couch. The television was on and she was searching for her favorite episode.

“Come on,” she urged. “I found it.”

Smiling to myself, I situated myself next to her and wrapped the blanked around us from behind. I relaxed back onto the couch, my arm draped around her shoulder underneath the blanket. She moved so that she could easily lean her head on my shoulder.

“You better not fall asleep on me,” she threatened.

“I’m pretty sure you’ll end up falling asleep first.”

---

I didn’t realize I had fallen asleep until the stiffness around my neck woke me up. It was a little disorienting at first to wake up on the couch, with the television still blaring brightly as it continued to show episodes of the show. It took a while for my eyes to adjust thanks to the light.

I glanced to my side to see that she had fallen asleep as well. Her arms were lightly wrapped around my torso, her legs above mine and parallel to the couch, and her head was rested against my chest.

I took in the sight of her sleeping face. I memorized it all.

In the dark, I whispered how sorry I was for having to leave her alone, for having to be away for a longer period of time, and for bringing fear and uncertainty of my return.

The past few days have been filled with memories I would cherish forever and the following ones would be filled with yearning to be home and back into her arms. I was afraid, I admitted it to her yesterday. She was too but she told me that she believed that I’ll be back home before I knew it. Before both of us knew it.

She’d wait.

I’d wait as well.

I couldn’t sleep afterwards even when I moved us both to the bedroom. She had shifted when I moved her but she was back in her comfortable sleep. I just sat there, watching her. Even then, time seemed to have moved quickly. She started stirring awake.

“Good morning.” She lazily smiled.

“Good morning to you too, sleepy head.”

“Did I fall asleep? Who fell asleep first?” Her voice was still laced with sleep as she yawned through her words.

“I don’t really remember,” I admitted. “Breakfast?”

“Yes, please.”

We moved quietly. There was a solemn air around us. We both knew what was coming but neither of us talked about it vocally. However, our actions screamed how much we would miss each other.

Hands would often brush against each other. Hands holding onto and tightly grasping the other’s. Hugs that felt like an eternity. Smiles and frowns shared in between meals and short conversations.

Even when we were on our way to the pier, neither of us spoke that much. I could feel how tense she was with her sweaty palms. Her eyes would keep on darting back and forth, never staying on one point for a long time. She would keep on chewing down on her lip as well.

All I could do was hold onto her hand tightly.

“We’re here,” I whispered as the bus stopped in the pier’s terminal.

Silently, she nodded. She didn’t look up at me. Even as the bus stopped, she kept her gaze down. People were starting to unload the bus but we were unmoving.

“Hey,” I whispered, releasing her hand so that I could cup her face and gently turn her towards me.

“I don’t want you to go,” she brokenly stated. I knew there was a lump in her throat at how she forced those words. “Changsub, please.”

I silently sighed out her name as I pulled her towards me, her face pressed against my shoulder. I kept on apologizing to her in my head for putting her in this kind of situation. Slowly, I rubbed her back up and down as I felt her shoulders start to heave up and down. Muffled sobs reached my ears, urging me to hold onto her tighter.

Don’t cry, please. I wanted to plead selfishly. Over the past days, it was only now that she had openly showed her tears.

My chest was tightening as well but I couldn’t cry. I didn’t want to cry because I knew it would be harder for the both of us. I had to be strong for her.

“I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. It took a few more moments for her to calm down.

“I’m okay.” She sighed and pulled her self away. “Come on.” She stood up before smiling down at me.

My heart was in pieces but I had to move. I wore my backpack and we both went down, dreading each step.

There were soldiers and families scattered all around. You could hear the loud cries of both adults and children as they let their loved ones go. All the while as we walked, I held tightly onto her hand. If only I could keep on holding it, I would’ve.

We stopped at a relatively less crowded area. We both stood, hand-in-hand, facing the warship that I was going to board along with the other soldiers. Neither of us said a word. I felt like I couldn’t without breaking.

“You promised, remember? That you’ll come back,” she mumbled loud enough for me to hear. “You have to make good with that promise, all right?”

I glanced towards her but she kept her eyes forward.

“When you come back, we’ll visit your parents. Then we’ll visit mine. We’ll go to the different coffee shops I’ll discover while you’re away. So, you have to come back. You have to come back to me,” her voice trailed off at the end before she finally turned to me.

Tears filled her eyes but she was doing her best to keep them at bay. I noted how her shoulders rose and fell deeply.

I nodded my head at the empty promise. “You have to make sure that their coffee is great.”

A small smile. “Of course.”

We were silent once again.

I could feel my free hand twitching, wanting to hold onto her for as much as I could. A deep breath passed my lungs before I pulled her towards my chest. Tightly, I held onto her; one hand on her back and one hand on the back of her head.

“Take care of yourself. Don’t skip your meals and don’t sleep so late. I know that there will be days when work will be tough but please don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m sorry that I won’t be able to be there with you physically and even through the phone. I’m sorry that I have to leave you like this,” I poured out.

I felt her wrap her arms around me under my backpack, her hand grasping onto the back of my uniform.

“Stop talking like you’re not coming back.” Her voice was muffled against my chest.

I dryly laughed. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Don’t worry so much about me. I’ll be okay,” she said, peering up at me as she moved back a little. Our arms were still around each other.

I looked into her eyes for a long time before I firmly nodded. We both tried to smile at each other encouragingly but there were times when we ended up grimacing. Still, it gave a small sense of comfort.

Gently, my hand on the back of her head moved towards the side of her face to cup her cheek. My thumb moved in slow circles, rubbing at her skin. Slowly, I lowered myself, my forehead touching with hers.

I watched as she slowly closed her eyes and leaned a little upwards. Just by a tiny bit, her arms had tightened around me. With my hand on her back, I pulled her towards me once again as I finally place my lips on hers. Eyes closing the moment her soft lips were against my own.

Neither of us rushed. Neither of us cared about everyone else around.

I engraved into my mind how her lips moved with mine and how she seemed to have filled all my senses with her taste, her smell, and the feel of her lips. My chest felt like it was about to burst from the emotions I was keeping inside added with those that she was making me feel through the kiss. Everything she didn’t say, she poured out into the gesture.

Hesitantly, we both pulled away a little.

The deep sound of the ship’s horn loudly rang through the air. It was time to go.

“I guess this is it,” she whispered.

Neither of us wanted to let go. If anything, she held onto my uniform a little more.

“I guess so.” I sighed, blinking my eyes open only to see her staring up at me.

“You’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.”

I shortly nodded.

The horn rang once more. I could also hear the shuffling of boots on the cement. The cries were getting louder as well.

“You have to go,” she said but she didn’t move away.

“With how you’re holding onto my uniform, I don’t think I’ll be able to,” I teased her a little, making her laugh just a bit.

“Is it that obvious that I don’t want you to go?”

I pretended to think about it for a while. “Not so much.” I grinned before leaning down once more to kiss her for probably one last time in a long while. This time, my lips moved more fervently.

“I love you,” I whispered against her mouth when we had pulled away. “I’ll always love you, no matter how far away I am.”

I watched her smile. “I know. I love you too. As much as I want you to stay, I have to let you go now.”

We wrapped our arms around each other for one last time before we stepped away. Slowly, I walked backwards, my eyes still glued onto her. With her finger, she gestured for me to turn around so that I wouldn’t bump into anyone.

A sad smile showed on both of our faces. I stopped and gave her a salute. Even from where I stood, I clearly saw how she bit down on her lip before she nodded. She mouthed the words ‘I love you’ as I placed my hand down.

With that, I turned and started to walk along with my fellow soldiers. I wanted to turn back, to run back, and to go to some place far away. I couldn’t because I also had a duty to fulfill as a soldier of this country.

But I allowed myself one last look at where I left her. She was still there and she kept her eyes on me. Grandly, she waved her hand so that I could see. I nodded at her in acknowledgement but I couldn’t bring myself to smile anymore.

I faced forward once again, walking towards the ship that would bring us to the war zone. None of us knew who was going to come back and who was going to die on the battlefield. It could be the person in front of me or beside me. It could be me.

When he spoke, his eyes would shine while his lips would pull up to the sides a bit in some kind of a smile. It made him seem as if he was from another world. His beauty was unparalleled.

But he wasn’t only beautiful when he was talking. There was a different kind of beauty that emerges when he’s being silent, whether from lack of words or a sudden inability to speak.

His eyes would darken while his cheeks would often be tinted with a shade of red. It was obvious by the small frown on his lips that he wasn’t fond of being outwitted or left speechless.

Although, there were certain cases when he didn’t mind being silent.

A playful smirk pulled at the corners of my lips, my hands folded in front of my bare chest, as I watched him unable to speak. A shiver of pleasure ran through my spine at the thought that he was practically powerless without his words. My lips curled even further when his wide eyes met mine.

His pupils were dilated. Cheeks bright red. His chest heaved heavily as he breathed through his nose.

“Jung Ilhoon.” My voice sharply cut through the thick and heavy air as I walked closer to the bed. If possible, his eyes grew wider, his breathing heavier. I could almost hear him huffing and puffing through his nose as he tugged his arms. The sound of chains pulling against the metal railing of the headboard mixed with his heavy breaths.

Such a beauty, I mused, leaning over him as he lay on the bed.

A finger traced the moles that dotted his cheek beautifully. I’ve always found them fascinating. It added even more to his charm.

A sound similar to a whimper came from him. My smirk widened as my finger trailed further down his face. It made him produce those maddening sounds even more. I watched as he tightly shut his eyes the closer my finger moved to his mouth.

“Does it hurt?” I softly asked, tracing along the leather strap that secured the ball gag.

He took in deep breaths before opening his eyes. A warmth pooled in the pit of my abdomen at the sight of his lust filled orbs. I couldn’t help but wet my lips when he shook his head.

“Good,” I uttered while lightly kissing his jaw before pulling away from him.

Something akin to a whine came from him the moment I leaned away just a little bit. It was as if I could hear him begging against my ear to stay close. Having him in this kind of set up gave me a sense of power over him—one that was usually his when we were outside of the bedroom.

Ilhoon would almost always be the one taking the lead whenever we were together. I didn’t mind. Initially, our bedroom encounters were also led by him until the day I discovered his submissive nature when I pinned him down and pressed my palm against his lips. The way he squirmed while a dark blush rose to his cheek pushed me to explore that side of him even more. His pupils had darkened considerably too during that time.

Now, he’d given me full control whenever we were in our own private space. It gave me an overwhelming amount of pleasure to have him reduced to nothing but whining, with or without the use of any kind of gag.

Still, there were rare times when he’d be the one in control.

The sound of his heavy breaths getting shorter filled my ears. His gaze and mine never broke even when I slowly and lightly walked two of my fingers along the tattoo on his chest. Ilhoon squirmed, trying to trash his upper body to indicate that he was too riled up for this teasing. I could only grin and tut.

“Stop moving,” I whispered as I moved down a little so that I could lower my lips to his chest.

Light and fleeting kisses were trailed along the tattoo inked on his skin. I would glance up to his face once in a while. Seeing his eyes shut, cheeks flushed, hands clenched, and chest heaving pushed me even more to tease him. His muffled groans were music to my ears.

I could feel him arching his back as I moved lower down his chest. As a warning, I dug my nails into his skin and he immediately flattened back down on the bed. I could feel the strain on his abdominal muscles under my palms as he tried to keep still.

“Good boy.”

As a reward, my tongue circled his sensitive nipple before latching my mouth onto it. Hushed whimpers kept on coming from his throat every time I lightly nipped on the bud with my teeth. I repeated the same ministrations on the other.

By the time I was done, his chest was rising and falling at a quick pace. It was as if he ran a marathon for hours. His entire body was covered by a sheen of sweat, making it appear as if it was glistening under the dim light.

“Lower?” I teased, hovering over him once more.

His eyes were blown wide. I saw him begging through them to the point that I could almost hear his voice. However, it wasn’t enough for me. When he realized that I wasn’t moving, I saw him struggling with the contraption on his mouth to get what he wanted across to me.

“No? Should we stop? It’d be a shame though.” I chuckled as I moved away from him and stood at the foot of the bed.

I let my eyes slowly trail his body from his wrists that were bound down to his flushed face. A grin settled on my lips at the sight of wetness around his mouth—a sign that he was salivating due to the gag. Then his neck, elongated as he rested his head back on the bed. Still, his eyes were on me.

The rise and fall of his chest had slowed down by a bit. Signs of my markings were littered all over his flesh. His abdomen had loosened, making him look relaxed.

Then my eyes fell on his erected cock—red and engorged.

I could feel the wetness forming in between my thighs.

“We spent so much time preparing you.” I slowly stated my words with a shake of my head.

A step closer caused him to sharply inhale. His body shuddered when he released his breath because I let my finger trace his length from base to tip. It was a feather-like touch; I barely let my finger pad touch the sensitive organ.

More music to my ears came out of him.

I let my finger move down back to the base of his length where a black, silicon ring was wrapped. I traced its shape around his cock before stopping at a point where a half-inch thick silicon strip was attached. The other end of the strip was connected to the base of the plug inside his hole. I hooked a finger around the strap and pulled at it.

His hips shifted as he let out a louder groan. I could see him clench his butt cheeks, causing the strip to resist against my hold. I tutted making him freeze. I tugged on the strip again, a little harsher this time making him feel as if I was pulling the plug out of him.

His breathing shallowed out the more that I fiddled with the strip, pushing him even closer to what I wanted to see.

“We even went all the way to slip on a cock ring and stuff a butt plug into you but you want to stop?” I shook my head, pulling on the strip for the last time. “A shame, really.”

Slowly, I wrapped my hand around his cock. It felt warm and heavy against my palm. My nether lips clenched at nothing. I could only imagine how he felt inside me.

“Are you sure you don’t want this?” I gave him a taste by twisting my hand before pumping him once. A bit of precum leaked from his tip. To push him even further, I licked it off and groaned.

Please. His eyes screamed at me. They were going wild and delirious with want. They were darker than usual. Please do something.

I shook my head. “Maybe I should stop. It seems like you don’t want this.”

Ilhoon strongly shook his head, eyes still begging.

Just a little more, I thought.

“No? Then show me. Tell me you want this.”

With the gag on his mouth, he couldn’t use his words. His pleads and whimpers were too muffled to provide me with anything. Sadistically, I grinned.

“Tell me you want me to lower myself onto your cock and ride you until you release.” My voice was low and laced with lust. I couldn’t deny that I wanted him too. I was also going insane the longer we kept this up but I needed to keep my self-control intact. This wasn’t just for me.

I kept on telling him the things I’d do if he would tell me what he wanted—if he showed me that he wanted it.

I unwrapped my hand around him and climbed the bed. I was on all fours above him, my pussy just above his length. I lowered myself a bit just to let him feel my wetness on his dick.

A shuddered breath escaped my lips at the contact.

“Ilhoon. What do you want?” I moaned out as I slowly moved my hips on his cock, feeling his length sliding along his folds. He felt heavenly but I needed more than just grinding. I wanted more. My knees shook as I did my best to keep it together.

Silenced moans came from his, his eyes tightly shut. I continued to slowly move myself on his length as my hands found themselves on his abdomen. I groaned, feeling his muscles contract under my palms. Even if he could, he kept himself from thrusting up into me.

I thought that I was going to lose it but I saw what I was waiting for. I lifted myself to hover over him again as I caught my breath. A pleased smile spread on my face when I saw the tears that were leaking from his eyes.

“There you go.” I moved closer to his face and kissed both corners of his eyes, tasting his salty tears. I could hear his labored breaths through his nose.

“Beautiful,” I whispered. “My good boy deserves a reward, doesn’t he?”

Lightly, Ilhoon nodded his head. After one last kiss on his forehead, I moved back to my previous position.

I held onto his length, positioning its head against my opening. Slowly, I sunk down on him. I could feel him stretch my walls more than usual, thanks to how engorged he was due to the cock ring.

“Fuck.” I couldn’t help but let it out as I continued to lower myself on him. He was thicker and longer than usual. Another curse left my lips once he was fully inside me. “You’re so big.”

I kept on contracting my walls around him, trying to get used to his penetration. I had to take in a few deep breaths to relax myself and my walls. Once I had caught my breath, I started to move: up and down then I would circle my hips against his.

My moans mixed with his muffled ones. The air around us was getting hotter and the smell of sex was heavy.

My gaze met his dark ones. Neither of us broke eye contact as I moved on him. As I pulled myself up, I let my walls tighten around him. I watched his eyes widen. Once his tip was almost out of my hole, I quickly pushed myself back down on him. That had him throwing his head back, eyes squeezed shut. Even I had difficulty in keeping my eyes on him.

“You feel so good.” I breathed out. “So, so good.”

I could only imagine how he was feeling—walls contracting around his length while a plug was pushed into his ass.

I felt his cock twitch as I continued to move. I hurried my pace, knowing that he was close. I could feel him pulsing inside me.

The coil inside me tightened, pushing me to work him faster. My walls hugged his length, his tip hitting spots inside me that was making me see stars. I was so close but I kept it in, wanting him to reach his orgasm first.

“Fuck.” I shuddered when he hit a certain spot inside me. It felt too good that I almost forgot that I wanted him to release before me. However, I kept on thirsting for that sweet, pleasurable feeling that I kept angling my movements to continuously hit that spot.

His name repeatedly slipped from my lips.

“Are you close?”

He nodded his head eagerly.

“Come,” I groaned, nearing my tipping point.

With one last twitch of his cock, I felt him spill himself into me. The feeling of his juices spurting inside my walls pushed me over the edge. I screamed out his name as I rode out my orgasm. The cheeky man helped me ride it out by thrusting in and out, even if it was at a slower pace than what we had done.

Shakily, I pulled myself off of him once our orgasms had subsided. I had to take a moment to catch my breath. I slipped the ring off of his flaccid length and carefully pulled out the plug. I felt a gush of wetness escape my nether lips when I felt his hole still sucking onto the toy. Once it was out, I set it aside before I straddled his chest.

His eyes were on me. They screamed how fucked out he was. It made my stomach flip.

My hands moved to the back of his head and made quick work to remove the lock that kept the gag on his mouth. Once it was off, I threw it at a random direction before moving to gently massage his jaw. I leaned down and peppered kisses all over his jawline and cheeks.

“Does it hurt?”

“A little,” he admitted. His voice was raspy and rough.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I liked it.” The way he spoke softly, as if not wanting to admit it, made me smile.

“Wait,” I told him, leaving a peck on his lips before I pushed myself off of him and the bed.

I grabbed the keys to the cuffs on the bedside table and unlocked the binds. I set those aside too while he sat up. He was rubbing at his wrists when I handed him a glass of water.

“Drink up. You need it.”

“Thank you.” He nodded and quickly downed the glass of water.

I took it back from him to place it back on the table.

Ilhoon moved a bit to the side a little slowly before patting the space beside him. Quickly, I moved and wrapped myself around him despite our sweaty bodies.

“We should get those padded cuffs next time.” I sighed, looking at his wrists that were bright red.

He chuckled, a small smirk on his lips. “If that’s what my lady wishes,” he mumbled before changing the topic. “Shower?”

"Any guess?" I hear Changsub's low voice coming from my left side. I am sure that's him.

I bite my lip. Here I am, with nothing on but my skin. Hands tied with a soft piece of cloth behind me, my legs parted, my ankles were tied on either side of the bedpost as I sat on the cool mattress, back flat on the headboard.

I am exposed. Every bit of my body is displayed for them to feast their eyes on.

I have all my other senses on high alert as I was deprived of one: my sight. I'm blindfolded and everything around me is pitch black.

A deep chuckle comes from my side. I know that's Minhyuk.

It's amazing how automatically I become more aware and sensitive of my surroundings the moment I lost my sense of sight. It's like I can hear even the faintest sound in the room.

I listen intently for their movements.

I hear soft footsteps on the wooden floor circling the bed. Something shifts the mattress near where my left foot is.

I wait for one of the guys to talk but what comes after the footsteps is a warm palm being placed on my right knee.

I gasp and I feel my stomach tighten.

The hand slides up my thigh to the insides of my legs, grazing my center with its fingertips only to move down to my knee again.

"Fuck," I utter, feeling the frustration.

"Hush," Minhyuk's voice. "Patience, Y/N. Patience."

He's right. I should be patient. I am the one who asked for this––to play with both of them. I don't know how I had the courage to ask them. Maybe it's the alcohol that all three of us drank. Or maybe it was that cake with a weird but delicious taste we all ate. But I somehow summoned a side of me that I didn't know existed. Before I knew it, here I was in this set up that I thought only existed in my dreams with the two guys I've had my eyes on.

The bed shifts on my side and before I can react, one of them blows a hot breath on my nipple making the tiny hairs all over my body stand on ends.

A choked gasp escapes my lips as a pair of hot, wet lips enclose one of my nipples. I arch my back to meet his mouth and he sucks my nub hard. He lets his tongue graze the tip, sending shivers down my spine causing me to throw my head back with my mouth open in shock and pleasure.

A hand roams my stomach, smoothing the skin up to where my other breast is and finally kneading it.

The bed shifts on my other side as another pair of lips finds its way to my neck.

Both mouths caress my skin, sucking and biting in the proper places. I let out soft, choked moans that filled the four corners of the room.

"Oh God, yes!" I say breathlessly, my chest heaving as the mouth that is on my neck finds my other nipple and sucks on it too.

I ball my fists behind me, wishing I can do something with them.

My head is swimming in ecstasy at the image of me with both Changsub and Minhyuk lapping my breasts as if I am a sweet delicacy.

How I wish I can look down and see them. Then again, there's something about the mystery of this that takes this experience a step higher than what I expected it to be.

Both mouths detaches from my body, leaving me cold and frustrated again. The knot in my stomach tightens as I felt the absence of attention on me. I want to press my legs together to ease the sensation building inside me but the bounds restrict me from doing so.

“What do you want, (Y/N)?” Minhyuk’s voice rings from my left side.

So it’s him. It is hard for me to keep track of where they are.

I am about to answer when I hear slow deep breaths on my left side followed by slow, wet kisses from my chest up to my neck, making me whimper.

Changsub.

“Answer,” Changsub whispers in my ear.

Just one word but it holds so much power that it makes my skin crawl with pleasure.

“Touch me, please,” I beg. My voice is almost like a whisper; like I am afraid that someone might hear.

I feel the bed shift and I hear footsteps moving away from where I am. The sound of glasses clinking follows. One of them pours something. It must be the vodka that we were drinking a while ago. I can still taste it in my mouth.

“Want a drink?” Changsub’s voice.

I nod.

Someone gulping the liquor.

Another series of clinking glasses.

Liquid being poured.

Footsteps coming to where I am.

The bed shifting.

My senses heighten as I feel a presence beside me. I anticipate what’s going to happen next.

A set of fingers touches my hair and bunches the strands in its palm. A force not so strong yet powerful yanks my hair down, throwing my head back and making me face the ceiling.

My yelp was muffled by a mouth enclosing mine and a lukewarm, bittersweet fluid passes from the unknown lips to mine, straight to my tongue, and down my throat.

The taste of vodka stings my tongue, burning the back of my throat. In the way my head was positioned, I was forced to gulp the liquid down, giving it more effect to my head than it normally should.

The mouth does not leave mine. Instead, it nibbles on my lower lip before the owner decides to release my hair from his grip and my mouth from his.

Thick and full lips, I realize. That was Changsub’s mouth on mine.

He moves away.

“We did tell you that we are rough, right?” Minhyuk’s voice comes from the foot of the bed.

I nod my head. “Yes, I know.”

“But we’ll make sure that you’ll never forget this,” he says.

Excitement bubbles inside me, painting a smile on my face.

Footsteps approach me and someone climbs on top of the bed. My breath hitches when two hands on either side of my waist hold me tight. In one swift movement, I am being yanked down. I lie down on my back with my hands still tied behind me, my knees are bent and my legs parted by a body between them.

I hold my breath as I wait for his next movements.

He leans down and caresses my body with his hands, smoothing each and every corner as if studying it.

He nuzzles the skin between my breasts with his nose, then he moves to my neck.

His warm breath is making me lose my mind. To think that that is all he is doing. The way my skin tingles where the tip of his nose touches me is an indication that I am drowning in lust.

“Fuck! You smell so good, Y/N," Changsub’s voice vibrates on my skin. His voice is a mix of a grunt and a whisper. I can imagine him clenching his jaw as he speaks.

“Changsub, please,” I plead, “Please fuck me.”

The movement on either side of my head indicates that he planted his hands there, his body moves up and  the tip of something warm touches my stomach.

I know he’s hovering over me.

He leans closer to me; closer to my ear.

“Oh, don’t worry. I will,” he whispers. “I will fuck you until you can’t walk. I will fuck you, Y/N, and make you shout.” His voice is something that I never thought I’d hear from him. I’ve always known him as a guy who smiles brightly. But now, it’s like he turned into a different person.

I am still coming down from the high I felt from hearing his voice when he moves down and starts moving his tongue in circles around my nipple. His hands gripping my waist once more, as if holding me in place while I squirm with what he is doing. He is doing the same to my other nipple. His tongue moves lazily around the area, not even letting his lips touch it, just the tip of that wet piece of muscle.

I arch my back and moan in pleasure as my insides tighten, looking for some kind of friction inside. My mouth spitting out a string of curses as the ecstasy drowns me.

He then moves further down, peppering my stomach with wet kisses and licking the sides of my belly button. The strong hold that he has on my waist makes me stay in place despite my body writhing due to the sensations that he’s making me feel.

He goes down and starts kissing the inside of my legs until I feel two of his fingers touch my slit and tease the sensitive nub in between. He moves his finger in a sliding motion in between my folds, feeling the wetness down there.

With his fingers, he spreads my folds open and starts sucking on my clit.

“Fuck! Changsub! Yes!” I shout unexpectedly as the first contact of his mouth on me sends electricity to every corner of my body, making my toes curl.

His tongue and lips working wonders to my core, making me lose all the sanity inside me. My walls convulse, looking for release but I need friction inside me for that to happen.

Changsub continues lapping and sucking me, making wet noises.

“Inside, please.” I gasp for air.

He moves and I am expecting him to do something. But his mouth moves away from me and I imagine him sitting up.

“Not now,” he says, before the bed moves and I hear him walk away from me.

Disappointment floods inside me and I want to protest when Minhyuk spoke.

“My turn,” he says.

Minhyuk’s weight makes the mattress below me to dip. His hand goes under my buttocks as he moves me up, placing something soft yet sturdy under me, elevating the lower half of my body. My knees are still bent but with the way my hips are up, my toes are almost not touching the mattress but the binds still holds my feet down.

I am more exposed in this position and I feel the coldness of the room on my damp core.

Minhyuk places his hands on the back of my knees. I feel his strong grip and the way his nails lightly dig into my skin.

I have always hated his nails. He refused to trim it cleanly and would instead leave just a little bit of it longer than how I know they are supposed to be. I’ve hated it then but I don’t know now.

I wait for his next action, holding my breath.

Then it comes.

I didn’t feel him lower himself nor feel his breath near me, but what I felt is that quick but powerful flick of his tongue on my slit.

I involuntarily gasp making him chuckle, which sends vibrations on my skin, telling me that he’s still very close to me.

Another quick flick of his wet tongue comes, as if teasing me.

I wait for the third one, bracing myself for it, but what came was more than what I expected.

With his hands still behind my knees, Minhyuk wriggles his tongue between my folds to find my sensitive nub. He is doing an up and down motion with his tongue, occasionally swirling it around my clit.

I throw my head back. A mixture of chokes and screams escapes my mouth every time his tongue laps a sensitive corner.

The tightening in my stomach is growing once again. My walls yearn for something to clench on to finally have the release I want.

Minhyuk goes further down, dipping his tongue inside my hole.

“Yes, please,” I whimper.

His tongue darts in and out of me, fucking me in a unique way, making me squirm and cuss like there’s no tomorrow.

Minhyuk’s grip on me becomes tighter as the intensity of his movements becomes greater. His nails dig deeper into my skin. I know that I will bruise but I don’t care. The pain mixing with the pleasure he is making me feel is more than enough to send me off the edge.

I feel my orgasm reaching its peak.

“Fuck me with your fingers, Minhyuk.” I beg once more.

I need something inside. I need my release.

Then, he stops.

“No, please.” I plead as he releases his strong grip on me and leans away.

The bed shifts once more and I know that I am alone on the bed, frustrated.

“Enjoying it?” I hear Changsub ask.

I bite my lip.

“Do you still want to continue?” Minhyuk.

I nod. Yes I do.

“Good.” It’s Changsub this time. “Now listen to me.” His voice now closer. “I will remove your binds but I will not remove your blindfold. You can’t use your hands to touch us or yourself. Got it?”

“Yes.” My voice comes out as a whisper.

“Louder.” Changsub’s voice, filled with authority, makes me shiver.

“Yes!” I answer louder with a trembling voice.

Two pairs of hands untie my ankles and my wrist. I don’t know which is which. One of them is behind me, untying my wrist while I lean my back on his chest. I feel his warm and naked skin. The other one unties my ankles, kissing the bruises as he goes.

The moment that the bounds are removed, I feel the ghost of the bruises in the places where I was tied.

In one swift motion from both of them, I find myself on all fours. The one behind me starts kneading my ass with his powerful hands. His palms run up and down the length of my back, planting kisses where his hands touch, occasionally letting his tongue lick some parts of my back. Such a simple movement yet it is making me squirm and moan under him.

The one in front of me caresses my face before he slightly pulls my face to meet my lips with his. His kiss is intoxicating and I am light headed the moment I taste myself on his mouth. His kiss is hungry and needy, it’s like he wants more and more. His tongue, works wonders as it darts inside my mouth and meets my own tongue.

He pulls me up until I am kneeling on the bed between both of them.

I am losing track of who is who as neither of them talks and my mind is a puddle of pure lust.

Hands and palms explore my body. Each and every inch of my skin is caressed by their mouths, tongues, and hands.

“Fuck me, please,” I beg once more.

With no words, I am once again on all fours.

The one behind me teases my opening with his fingers until finally he inserts one inside. Slowly to make sure that I am aware of the object entering me.

He didn’t waste any time as he inserts another finger and starts fucking me with them. My mouth falls open the moment his skin rubs my insides. I want to loudly moan but the feeling is too great for any sound to escape my mouth.

Just when the knot inside my stomach starts to build again, he pulls his fingers out. I am about to protest when he places his hand on the small of my back, sliding it up along my spine. My back arches causing my ass to move up and face him. Then, the tip of something touches my entrance.

I brace myself and bite my lip as that tip slowly enters me and stretches me. I hear his faint grunts as my walls surround his cock gradually as it penetrates me.

I let out a choked gasp the moment that the tip of him hits that sensitive spot inside. With both his hands on either side of my waist, he pulls me closer to him, making sure that all of him is inside me. I want to cry at the fullness that I feel with him inside.

He pushes his length into me. My whole body trembles with need as he pulls himself all the way out and slams it back in. I sob in pleasure as he is doing this over and over again. His fingers digging deeper in my skin as he grunts like an animal behind me, fucking me like there’s no tomorrow.

His moves becomes rougher. He is now slamming deeply inside me. I bite my lip to try to hold back my cries but I am breaking and I end up wailing, cursing, and unable to control the pressure building inside me. My cunt clenches around him and my own wetness is pouring down my thighs.

He pulls out of me without finishing. My knees trembling and my whole weight collapses on the bed. My own sweat soaks the sheets as I am coming down from my orgasm.

The bed shifts as the man, whose identity I failed to uncover, moves. I hear his faint breaths as he steps away from me and the soft clink of the ice cubes against the glass. I can tell that he is downing a glass of liquor. Suddenly, I notice how dry my mouth is.

"Drink up." Minhyuk's low voice breaks the quietness of the room that I didn't notice. "You need to rehydrate."

Two hands pull me up gently and help me sit down. His hand trails down my arm to take my hand, placing a cold glass in my palm.

He then guides the glass to my lips.

I was expecting the biting liquor but what welcomes me is the clean, sweet, and cold water. It’s like heaven the moment that the cold liquid passes through my throat. I gulp until I empty the glass.

He takes it from my hands and I hear him step away from me.

"Such a good girl," Changsub remarks from across the room.

"You should see how you look right now." It’s Minhyuk.

I want to see how I look––naked and blindfolded, ravished and fresh from an orgasm. If only I can see myself getting fucked.

An idea sparks in my mind.

"Take a picture of me," I propose. "Don't include my face. Everything else is fine."

"Are you sure?" Minhyuk asks. There is a hint of amusement in his voice.

Am I?

I nod. "Positive. I trust both of you."

Minhyuk chuckles. "Okay, then. If that's what you want. But I don't want an ordinary picture. I want to take a video. Will that be fine?"

"Yes," I immediately answer. "Just don't show my face, please."

"I won't. I promise."

I can hear my heart beat inside my chest. Thrill flooding inside me. It tightens a knot in my stomach, making me excited that I have to press my legs together.

"I want you to touch yourself in front of us," Changsub commands.

"But you said--"

"I know what I said. I am telling you what to do now."

I nod in obedience.

His commanding voice crawling under my skin, making my cunt wet.

I know where they are just by listening to their voice.

Gingerly, I shift to position myself. I sit down, placing a hand behind me for support, and spreading my legs open with knees slightly bent. I smooth my leg with my other hand and trail it down to my wet mound.

Using my middle finger, I part my folds, feeling myself hot and wet. I slowly circle my clit until the familiar feeling starts building from the tips of my toes and up to my abdomen. I throw my head back, mouth open and panting as the tension grows with every stroke.

"Shit," I hear someone hiss but I was too preoccupied to figure out who it is.

Just as I am near, sudden footsteps approaches me. Before I know it, strong hands grip my thighs, spreading my legs wider. His body is between me.

A pair of lips finds their way to my nipple, enclosing it and sucking it hard that I didn't notice that I stopped touching myself.

I still haven't recovered from the sudden assault when the tip of his cock teases my entrance.

Without warning, he pushes his shaft inside me. The unforgiving size stretching me, making me cry out.

I lay on my back as I wrap my legs around his waist, giving him more access as he slams into me hungrily. He found both my hands and pins them above me. His moves vary from slow to fast but he is making sure that all of them will bury him deep inside me.

Just as I feel my orgasm building inside me, he moves his hand to my waist. In one swift movement, I find myself on top, straddling him. My knees bent on each side and his cock pushing at a new angle inside.

It isn’t difficult for me to figure out where his head is even without my sight. I plant both my hands on either side of his face and ride his cock hard while his hands squeezes my ass.

“Oh God! Yes! Ah!” My cries, his lewd grunts, and the obscene sounds of my skin slapping against his fills the whole room.

My release comes with a shudder and somehow my hand landed on his shoulder, digging my nails on his skin as I come.

He wraps his arm around my waist and pulls my chest to his face, sucking my nipple as he angles and thrusts up to fuck me while I am coming.

My mind is addled in lust that I didn’t notice another one approach me and position himself behind me.

I whip my head back even if I know that I won’t be able to see who it is.

“Shhh,” the man behind me says but I can’t make out who the voice belongs to.

The one under me holds my waist tightly, not letting me go, as the other one places his palm at the base of my sweaty back, holding me down.

Somehow, at the back of my mind, I know what he is going to do. It has always been my fantasy to be filled by two men and I can’t believe that it is happening.

He isn’t moving as if waiting for my consent.

He is not speaking a single word. We are still playing the game after all.

I have to be the one to say it.

“Please fuck my ass,” I beg with a voice unfamiliar to me. “Fuck my pussy and my ass at the same time.”

The man below me stops moving his hips but his lips trail lazy wet kisses from my neck to my shoulder as he holds me flat on my stomach on top of him. His cock still pulsing inside me.

I feel something wet prod the entrance of my ass and enter it slowly. The one behind me is fucking my ass with his finger, preparing me for his cock.

I hum and moan at the new sensation. It is such a foreign but pleasing feeling and I want more of it.

“More.” I breathe.

Another finger is added, stretching me a little bit but it wasn’t enough.

He pounds his fingers inside me and I feel myself relax more. Who knew that I can come even when it is my ass that’s getting all the action.

He withdraws all of his fingers, leaving me wanting and with a gaping hole.

That didn’t last long because I feel him shuffle and tease my ass with the tip of his cock. He plants his hand at the base of my spine, pushing me further down to the chest of the man below me, giving him full access to where he wants to be in.

Slowly, he enters me. I bite my lip as the head of his cock stretches me. As the seconds ticks by, more and more of him is penetrating me. Both cocks filling me and even if they aren’t moving, I can feel my will slowly vanishing. I am nothing but a mere toy for them to fuck and I love it.

“Fuck me now,” I whimper. “Fuck me until I break.”

There isn’t any rhythm as they both pound their cocks inside me. On more than one occasion, they move in unison. That leaves me empty and wanting before they slam back in mercilessly. Our breathing grows heavier and shorter as our bodies tangle together. I feel powerless between the two overpowering men.

I came more than once as they were both inside me but they never stop to let me rest. They are using me just like how I want to be used. They both bite my shoulders and neck in pleasure, slapping my ass and grunting like animals in heat.

The pleasure is too much and it is more than what I asked for yet I want more of it.

The man behind me’s movements become rougher and his cock pulses inside me. I know he is close. He grips my ass as he comes hard inside me. Soon, even the man below me comes in my cunt. They both fill me with their hot semen and I squirm between them at the pleasure.

They both pull out but do not make any move. I can feel their sticky juices trail down my legs

All of our energy spent, I collapse on top of the man below me and the man behind me rests his forehead on my back, trailing soft kisses on my skin. I can feel and hear them breath deeply.

I would have stayed home but there was something nagging me to walk. With each step, my mind was trying to force back memories that I’ve been trying to bury. They were my most treasured moments but I didn’t want to remember them. I didn’t want to because I’ll be reminded of the biggest mistake I’ve made in my whole life.

As I was walking, I passed by a familiar café. I studied its exterior, noting that it hasn’t changed since the last time I… we were here.

“Can we stop here for a while until the rain stops?” She asked as we stopped in front of a small coffee shop tucked in one of the corners of the street.

From the outside, one could easily feel the warm vibe the café offered thanks to the lighting and the fixtures that were visible through the window. There was barely any customer inside, probably due to the rain.

My gaze shifted back to her hopeful smile. It was the one she usually wore whenever she’d request that we stop by a certain place before I finally bring her home. Every time I see that, every nerve in my body would agree to her wish.

When I nodded, her eyes turned into crescents and the smile on her lips brightened as she thanked me. I was about to tell her that there was no reason for her to say thank you but she had started pulling on my arm towards the shop. Her soft laugh rang in the air despite the sound of falling rain.

Warmth filled my heart as I watched her. Even as we sat in front of each other in the coffee shop, I couldn’t shake that swelling inside my chest. I could never begin to describe how joyful she made me feel. It was as if everything was fine and everything would be fine if she was around.

The soft music in the coffee shop paired with the aroma of coffee further spurred on that warm feeling.

A bell rang, causing me to break from my memories. I watched as a couple exited the café, which was the origin of the sound. They both shared an umbrella as they closely walked to avoid getting wet.

Thanks to their exit, the familiar aroma of coffee wafted through the damp air. The scent was somehow being overpowered by the musky smell due to the rain but it was there. A shuddered breath escaped my lips. I didn’t know if it was due to the cold or the emptiness in my chest. But the smell of coffee brought back her smiling face in my mind.

I walked away, left knuckles turning white around the umbrella’s handle.

I had everything I wanted but I took it for granted.

“It’s different with her,” my reasoning echoed in my head. It was deafening. It blocked out the heavy drops of rain.

Where did those words take me?

Nowhere.

I was wrong. I was a fool. I was blinded by a momentary thing that I lost sight of what truly mattered to me.

I stopped at an intersection. Despite the haze, I could faintly see a person standing on the other side, beside the pedestrian’s signal light that was bright red.

Red.

The color reminded me of how her cheeks burned with anger. Her eyes were filled with resentment and defeat at all my excuses.

“I’m sorry. It’s just…”

The words still left a bitter taste in my mouth. I remember rattling my head for another excuse. I was getting frantic that time because I saw it in her eyes that she didn’t believe my words—that she knew everything I was trying to hide. I couldn’t look at her back then. I felt like I didn’t deserve to look into those pair of orbs that reflected her soul.

I knew I didn’t. Not after how I slowly stopped being present in her life when I met an old friend. That friend used to be someone whom I had strong feelings for. Seeing her again, it made all of those emotions come back.

I spent less time with her and more time with my old friend. I kept on feeding those emotions when I shouldn’t have. I blinded myself with the thought of her that I forgot that there was someone else who was waiting for me—someone else who was hurting because of me.

Unanswered calls and texts, cancelled plans, always being “too busy with work” to meet up.

I never realized it then that she endured so much to the point that all she could do was stop and give up. She held on for months, patiently waiting, until she broke. All because of me and my wrong choices.

Her eyes that were brimmed with angry and pained tears that she tried not to let loose flashed in my mind. The disappointed frown on her lips…

I shook my head.

I knew she wanted to scream at me. Sometimes, I wish she did so that she could somehow let the pain out. I wanted her to hit me—to punch me, to kick me, to make me feel the pain she was experiencing because of me. But she didn’t.

She did her best to talk calmly. She did her best to stay strong. At least, until I said those horrid words.

Once again, my statement echoed in my mind. “It’s different with her.”

A hallow pain settled deep within me.

No, it wasn’t different with her. It never was. I was a fool to see that before. I couldn’t take it back anymore. I’ve dropped those words and they’ve caused their damage.

“I wonder how you are,” I whispered against the cold rain. My eyes lifted to watch the darkened clouds. “I’m sorry,” I uttered, hoping that the rain would wash those words to where she was.

From the corner of my eye, I saw the light turn green. With a huff, I started walking down the street. I couldn’t help but glance at the person who was coming from the other side. Whoever it was gave me a familiar feeling, as if I know that person well.

I kept my eyes on the figure and I almost stopped when I realized who it was.

It was her.

There was no mistaking it. Her stature and the way she walked with the umbrella. Even her clothes.

My lower lip trembled as my right hand twitched. With each step I took towards her, my heart pounded faster. She was walking on my right side. I could easily reach out to her, grab her by her wrist, then ask her to talk. Plead, even.

Take me back, I cried in my head. We were about two feet apart by then.

Please.

But her words resonated in my mind. “If we do meet again in the future, let’s not greet each other.”

I bit down on my lip. Three steps. Two.

What do I do?

In that moment, our gazes met. All thoughts inside my head disappeared and all that was left were her surprised eyes.

A choked sob raised in my throat at her being within reach. I could have reach out or said her name. I could have done something but all I did was to watch her turn away and continue walking as if we were just strangers.

I stood there in the middle of the street, pain, regret and emptiness filing my chest, as rain poured all over me. All I could hear aside from the rain were her words:

He shrugged. "Nothing wrong with a few sips. This place makes the best steak and the wine will go well with it."

Wow, he ordered steak!

I wondered how much that would cost. I mentally counted how money much I have left, hoping that it could cover what he just ordered. He asked me to treat him to lunch as payback for what I owed.

My mind was so absorbed in the Reaper's case that I forgot that I owed someone money. If I hadn't ran into him, I wouldn't have remembered.

Well, he kind of stalked me, I think. I didn't know how long he had been beside me, not until he asked, "Penny for your thoughts?" I looked to where the voice came from and there he was, slowly driving his red car near the sidewalk, matching my pace.

His ride wasn't that hard to miss if I wasn't too absorbed in my own thoughts.

My research about the Reaper was very fruitful. I gathered a lot of information regarding the drug that he used on all of his victims. The guy I met from the library, Changsub, was right. The book he recommended did help me understand a lot of things. Of course, he gave me a lot of help too. He asked me out for coffee and that was when I asked him some questions about the drug.

That's not all that we've talked about, of course. He was quite a warm person, talking to him seemed so natural and time just passed by.

I was feeling giddy when I travelled back to my apartment. Happy that my research was doing well and because I met a great guy. But, my good mood didn't last long when I found a note in my mailbox.

Four words were scrawled on a plain white paper:

Curiosity kills the cat.

That was it. Nothing else.

I didn't know whom it was from or why I received the note but I had a feeling that I was being watched.

Truth was, I had been feeling it for a few weeks already. I thought at first that it was just paranoia and that no one was following me but the note confirmed it.

I wanted to report it to the police but that might lead them to investigate me. I thought that they might find the data I have and that I was doing an investigation of my own about the Reaper.

"So, let's get to know each other," Sungjae’s voice snapped me back to the restaurant. His elbows were on the table as his fingers interlocked under his chin, cupping his face. His eyes were on me like he genuinely wanted to give me his full attention.

I felt my cheeks flush. I was being unfair to him. I owed him not only because he paid for my hospital bill but also because he took me to the hospital to have me treated and stayed with me. The least I could do for him was to treat him to lunch and to be physically and mentally present. But there I was, my mind was preoccupied.

Maybe he just wanted to be friends. I could use another friend here in the city for the days that my other friend is busy. Sometimes, I get lonely.

The food was great and Sungjae was a good company. He was like a good friend that I've known for some time. Of course, there were some things about him that tick me off but not entirely. Like how he really has some air of arrogance in him. He kept on bragging about how he frequented the restaurant we were in.

“You haven't figured out who I am, have you?” Sungjae asked in the middle of our conversation about me and my work. I didn't tell him the truth though. I just told him that I write short stories for a living and he thought that it was just for some magazine. "You didn't hesitate to come inside my car and join me for lunch without knowing who I truly am?"

“W-what?” I stuttered, taken aback by his sudden question. “What do you mean?” I was trying to read his face but I can’t find any hint that he was joking.

He clucked his tongue. "Never talk to strangers," he said as he sipped wine from his glass. His eyes regarded me.

Silence fell between us.

I felt my chest tighten as I tried to measure the situation.

Then, as sudden as his question was, he burst into laughter, shattering the awkward moment.

“I was just messing with you,” he teased in between laughs. “You should've seen your face.”

I felt dumbstruck with everything that had just happened in a matter of seconds.

"That's not funny," I said quietly, feeling uneasy.

He stopped laughing and looked at me. He must've realized my mood because he apologized over and over again. But nothing he said could calm me. He didn't know what was going on inside my head at that moment.

Without giving him so much as a glance, I excused myself and headed for the restroom.

I splashed cold water on my face as soon as I got inside. Luckily, it helped calm my nerves. If I had stayed for a few more seconds in our table, I might've collapsed.

I gave myself a few more minutes of steady breathing and thought about what had happened. I remembered how sincere Sungjae looked when he was apologizing to me.

The truth was, what he did was easily forgivable. Somehow, I felt like he thought I was acting childish; getting upset with a simple joke. But I couldn't tell him the real reason.

No one should know.

With everything that had been happening in the past few days, and also when I received that note, my senses have been heightened. I've been edging to pure paranoia. I kept on having nightmares at night. I thought it was long gone but they've recently returned.

There was just so much going on in my mind. The biggest one was about the body found in the pier. My gut told me that there was something off about the whole case. That Damien Dee's death wasn't as simple as it seemed.

I've been reading the Reaper's data over and over again, hoping that I could somehow stumble upon something that would make sense.

I have memorized his modus operandi. I've memorized everything: the people he killed, the drugs he used, the way he lured them to their deaths, and even how he marked his victims.

The Reaper's mark was a type of flower: the Pheasant's Eye. It was a flower with red petals and a very interesting myth.

According to an old Greek myth, the flower sprung from where the Goddess Aphrodite's lover, Adonis, bled to death. The story told how even the Goddess of love became madly in love with a mortal whom her husband, Ares, got jealous of which, eventually, led him to kill the man. It was the flower that bloomed in remembrance of the tragic love.

The flower meant remembrance.

Was that the message the Reaper meant to send when he shoved the petals of the flower down his victims' throats? If so, what does he want people to remember? Him? The victims' crimes?

With one final splash of cold water to my face, I headed back to our table after drying up. I have to apologize to Sungjae. I shouldn't have walked out on him like that.

I was three tables away from him when I was blocked by a man, a waiter, who came running from the other side of the room to my right.

It took me a while to realize what was happening.

The whole place that was filled with elegance and low chatter before I went to the restroom, was now filled with commotion, the sound of plates and silverware crashing to the floor, and a woman wailing.

There was one other sound that seemed to have caused the sudden chaos.

I had to stand on my toes to take a peak as a couple of people were blocking my view.

Then, horror struck me when I realized where the sound came from.

Horrible choking sounds came from a boy, must be around four years old, lying on his mother's lap as she sat on the floor.

His small body convulsed as his tiny hands clawed on his throat. His face turned a sickening shade of purple little by little with every move that he made as he tried hard to breathe.

A waiter ran to where the boy and the mother were. He quickly, yet carefully took the little one from its mother.

The crowd panicked. Even I was trembling at the sight of what was happening. In all the chaos, the waiter held the boy calmly. He worked as if he was sure what to do in a situation as such.

In one swift movement, he positioned the boy in an angle and patted places on the boy's back. I didn't see everything that he did but in a matter of seconds, I heard the little one violently cough and gasp for air.

The color immediately came back to his skin as tears flooded his eyes.

There was a collective sound of relief from the crowd the moment we all saw the boy breathe.

"Hey, are you okay?" I looked to my side and saw Sungjae standing with the crowd as he looked back to me.

"Yeah," I answered. I noticed the people walking back to their tables while they stole glances to the mother and child being escorted by the restaurant's staff to the ambulance waiting outside. The boy must still be checked for damages that might've been caused by whatever was in his throat.

"Did you see what happened?" I asked Sungjae as we both walked back to our table.

"Yeah. That was scary," he said. “That’s the first time I've witnessed something like that.”

Everyone around us went back to their own tables. Whispers and reactions about the incident filled the whole restaurant after the boy and his mother left. The staff resumed working in their own posts; business as usual.

“Imagine if that waiter didn’t know how to do what he did to the kid,” disbelief was in his voice.

I couldn’t fathom the thought of what would’ve happened. I’ve witnessed deaths and I have seen crime scenes on television before when I researched about my novels but I didn’t want to witness one that involved a toddler.

Sungjae continued talking animatedly. “Whatever was in that kid’s mouth was already being pushed down further every second he gasped for air. That thing would get stuck in his throat.”

I didn’t want to think about it but since he kept on talking about it, I couldn’t help but to see the image in my mind and—

Wait a minute.

I didn’t know how fast my mind worked that time but it felt like I entangled a web that had been bothering me for a long time in just a few seconds. It was like a switch turned on inside my brain and lit up that dark corner that I've wanted to see.

That’s it! I thought to myself. I had to get home and reread the files again.

Quickly, I gathered my bag and stood up.  “I’m sorry Sungjae, I have to go,” I apologized to him.

“What’s wrong? Where are you going?” he was startled.

I couldn’t tell him, but I have to go. “I’m sorry, I can’t tell you,” I reached inside my bag to get my wallet. “I’ll pay for everything, don’t worry,”  I placed a couple of bills on the table.

Sungjae held my wrist before I could have a chance to turn away.

He looked at me as if trying to figure me out. He sighed in defeat, “Let me at least take you home.”

I felt bad for doing that to him. He really didn’t deserve the way I treated him. “It’s fine,” I reassured him.

He nodded and let go of my wrist.

I turned my back, ready to head for the door but as I did so, my head hit someone.

"Watch out!" I faintly heard Sungjae try to warn me before I crashed into one of the restaurant's waiters.

The soup that he was holding on a tray spilled on my blue blouse down to my skirt.

"Oh, shit," I gasped. I tried to lean forward, hoping that the liquid won't scald my skin.

"Are you okay?" Sungjae came to my side and asked.

I nodded to him. Of course, I am fine. I was not dying. My dress was just ruined.

"I-I'm really s-sorry, miss," the waiter stuttered as he apologized repeatedly.

I was going to tell him that it was fine when he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and nervously wiped the mess on top on my chest.

I froze in shock upon realizing where his hands were.

Sungjae quickly took action. He grabbed the waiter's wrist. "Hands off," he warned.

That was when I noticed how freaked out the waiter was when he realized what he had just done. I saw his face pale as he looked up at Sungjae. He looked really frail, as if he would break any minute.

"Sungjae, it's fine," I reassured him.

Fortunately, he let go of the waiter's wrist with one final look at him. The poor waiter continued to bow and apologize to me.

"This won't do," Sungjae muttered more to himself before turning to me. "I'll take you home. You can't say no."

He didn't wait for my answer. He quickly pulled me away from the scene.

A guy who I assume was the manager of the restaurant approached the waiter before I exited the place.

I hope he won't get any serious punishment. It was all my fault.

Sungjae made me wait on the sidewalk beside the restaurant while he went to get his car. He insisted that he would take me home because I couldn't commute looking like a total trash. I was going to tell him that driving his expensive car in my neighborhood wasn't a good thing but it looked like there was no reasoning when it came to him. I just hoped that it wouldn't get that much attention.

Luckily, there weren't a lot of people where I waited because it would be embarrassing if they that I was covered in what I assumed was tomato soup.

I was wiping my blouse when a loud banging noise disturbed the quiet street. It came from the alley two steps away from me.

"We shouldn't have left, Hyunsik!" A disembodied voice echoed through the street. "We should've just stayed inside!"

Curiosity took over me as I peeked at the alley and checked who the voice belonged to.

"Do you think they would still keep you after what happened?" This time, it was a different and a much deeper voice than the first one. “You kept on messing up. They’ll kick you out this time,”

From where I stood I saw two men standing outside of a steel door connected to the restaurant's side. That must be what created the noise a while ago.

I squinted my eyes and recognized the people who were arguing.

The one called Hyunsik was the waiter who helped the choking kid. He was talking to a skinny guy wearing a waiter's uniform like him.

I couldn't be wrong. It was the waiter who I bumped into before leaving.

"I’m not stupid. I can handle it. I-I can talk to them," the shorter guy argued. Despite trying to sound tough, the way he stammered showed that he was a nervous train wreck.

"You were all over the place, Ilhoon!" Hyunsik bellowed.

I was rattled by his voice and I can sense that the guy named Ilhoon was too. He paced back and forth, undecided on whether he will put his hands in his pockets, cross his arms on his chest, or wipe his face with his palms.

"Get your shit together," Hyunsik cautioned with a tone lower than before. He was trying to keep himself calm but I could sense that he too was panicking.

I couldn't help but to wonder what they were talking about because it was impossible that the restaurant incident was the reason why they were acting like they just killed somebody.

The writer in me thought that the whole situation was fascinating.  It had always been a habit of mine to find story prompts in everything that I see.

Subconsciously, I pictured what their story was and pondered if I should include it in my next novel.

"I-I'm trying," Ilhoon stuttered. I focused on listening to them. Somehow, he decided to wrap his arms around his body as if he was shielding himself from the cold. "B-but I can't!" He continued. "Everytime I close my eyes I can see him. I can see his dead body in my dreams,"

I held my breath.

Did I hear him right?

"It haunts me!" Ilhoon sobbed. "There were times when I close my eyes and I thought that if I open them he will be in front of me and he will kill me the way that he died."

Hyunsik was silent for a moment as he observed how his friend crumbled in front of him.

"He deserved it," he firmly said. “He deserved to die,” his jaw was clenched as if he was suppressing his anger.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Somewhere in the back of my mind, there was a thought screaming at me to get out of there as fast as I could–to forget what I just heard. But I couldn't move. I was frozen in place.

They were both talking about someone's murder. They killed someone and were trying to get away with it. And now, I just became a witness to their confession which meant that I would be in danger once they find out that I heard them.

I wanted to move.

I couldn't.

"Hey, let's go," Sungjae's voice pulled me back and woke up my muscles so that I could move once more.

I turned and saw him inside his car as he called out to me.

I composed myself and faced him, willing myself to forget what I've just witnessed.

//

It wasn't hard to remove that scene from my mind. I just had to convince myself that I was only overreacting.

That's right. My wild imagination was the one to blame.

It's not like those guys clearly said that they were the ones who killed whoever it was. They didn't state that. For all I know, they might be talking about something entirely different from a murder.

Yeah, right, my subconscious sneered at me.

It's not like there was anything that I could do. Even if I did go to the police, I wouldn’t be giving them much information. It's just my word against theirs.

The officers would only think that I am a lunatic. They already think that way because of the way I always annoy them.

After pacing inside my apartment and biting my nails for hours, I finally convinced myself that it was all nothing.

My head was too preoccupied with the conversation in that alley that I forgot the reason why I came back to my apartment.

Quickly, as if I wasn't just breaking my brain over a supposed murder confession, I took the Reaper's files from the small box in the farthest corner of my closet. With my notebook and ball pen in hand, I tried to create a chart about the whole murder case surrounding the death of Damien Dee.

//

You don't have any choice. Besides, you’re only just going to take a quick look around the area, I told myself as I quietly headed for the pier where the body was found.

It took me a whole day to come up with the plan and I knew it was crappy but I still have to do it. I wanted to do it.

I wanted to know where they found the body. The reports I have gave a lot of details and pictures but being in the actual place would satisfy my piqued curiosity.

Getting inside wasn't easy even if I did it at night. The whole place had guards set up in every entrance and some surveyed the surroundings from time to time.

You're being stupid.

I know I am but I couldn’t help it. I'd just deal with the consequences after.

After going around the area, I found the weakest point of the place: the wall on the far west of the pier near the woods. I could use the nearest tree with a low hanging branch to get on the other side.

Luckily, I wore my black tights and black hoodie which completed the stealthy look. I could move freely too.

Honestly, I haven't done this before.

I had connections back in Moonlight City. When I needed to get inside a restricted area, I just needed to use them. Sunshine City was still a stranger to me and the only person that I could count on was myself.

Besides, how hard could climbing a tree be?

Once I got closer, realization dawned on me. From a distance, the tree looked short compared to the ones beside it. Up close, it towered over me.

Go home now before it's too late.

I took a deep breath and jumped as high as I could to reach for the nearest branch. The tips of my fingers touched the branch but it was not enough for me to hold it.

I jumped again but this time, I crouched a little more. As my feet left the ground, I stretched my arms as far as I could until I grabbed the branch with both hands.

The rough bark of the tree dug on the skin of my palms as I my body dangled on the branch. My arms hurt as it supported my weight making me hold the branch tighter.

Give up. You can’t climb a tree.

I took a deep breath and pulled myself up with all my strength until both my biceps and forearms are on the branch. Without stopping to rest, I swung my left leg up and straddled the branch until I could pull my whole body up.

I rested my cheek on the branch as I rested for a bit. My heart beat loudly in my chest as I gasped for air. It was as if I’ve just ran a marathon.

I looked up and saw the wall that was directly in front of me. If I manage to get to the end of the branch, I could grasp the ledge and pull myself up again to jump over the wall then down to the pier’s grounds.

I knew that it would be more difficult than what I have just done but I also knew that it was too late to back out.

I had to do it.

After a few minutes and a lot of scratches, I managed to climb to the end of the branch and pull myself up on the ledge.

The moment I sat on top of the wall was when I started to panic.

The structure was one story high but as I was perched on it, it felt much higher than that. I started to get dizzy and my knees began to shake. There was no other way that I could go down. When I looked to my left and to my right, all I see was the wall stretching to the distance on both sides.

It didn’t help that I realized that the ground was covered with hard cement.

I looked up to the night sky and tried to calm myself. It was a clear night and the full moon hung low in the sky, lighting up the whole place. Only a few, thin clouds could be seen with it. The air was chilly. It's a good thing that my hoodie kept me warm.

I calculated the height of the fall in my mind as well as what will happen to me with just one wrong move.

I took another deep breath and conditioned my mind to think positively. At least now, when I write a scene about jumping down from a wall I could describe it vividly.

There was no turning back.

Using my arms, I shielded my skull. I didn't waste another heartbeat; I jumped from the wall and prayed that I land in a good position.

I knew somewhere in the middle of the air, my heart stopped and I almost blacked out. It was like all the air was sucked out from my lungs and I was nothing but a bag of meat that's about to crash to the ground.

It all happened too fast and it's as if my mind went on auto-pilot mode. As soon as my feet touched the floor, I knew I had to leap once more to roll. It was the perfect plan and it should’ve worked properly if not for the slight problem I encountered.

I felt my right ankle pop upon landing at an odd angle. I yelped but I bit my lip to stop myself from making any more noise. Instead of rolling like what I planned, I found myself lying on my side as I clutched my legs close to me as if trying to stop it from making any move that might further the damage.

It took me a while to recover from the pain. I willed myself to stand up and walk, flinching every time my right ankle supported a little of my weight.

I reached inside my jacket's pocket to retrieve the map of the pier that I printed.

The body of Damien Dee was found in the docks early morning by one of the workers.

I was on the west side of the pier and the docks was somewhere on the far northwest side of the place. If I was not mistaken, I was near the scene of the crime.

I limped to the direction of the docks while not letting my guard down. Once or twice I had to hide in the shadows because a surveying guard would pass by.

If I were them, security would be tighter in the area knowing that corpse was found inside. But they were all lax that they didn't even check every corner. Instead, they just literally walked by.

No wonder the killer got past them.

It took me longer to get to the place surrounded by the police yellow tape. If I was only a little better and not limping, I would've gotten there sooner.

Fortunately, the police who guarded the area that was standing by the entrance, was about to walk away for surveying duties.

I waited for him to turn his back and walk quite a distance away before I gingerly ducked under the yellow tape and into the area.

The wind was colder and stronger as I was in the place near the water.

Wooden crates that were stacked on top of each other surrounded the place. There was a wide opening in the middle where I supposed they drive their forklifts through.

As I got closer to the edge of the water, I could hear the gentle lapping of the waves against the concrete pillars that supported the place where I stood. The light from the nearest post already ended a couple of feet back and I found myself completely engulfed in the darkness.

The moon that I saw before now hid behind a thick cloud.

The moment I reached the end of the concrete floor, I leaned forward to check the dark water.

The body was found stuck in between the pillars under my feet. If my memory serves me right, I was on the exact spot where the corpse was seen.

There was something intriguing and terrifying knowing that, just a few days back, the mutilated and rotting corpse of a once wealthy man floated right under my feet.

The thrilled scared me and I loved it.

I was like a little kid who was given a chance to go around a magical place.

I felt excited.

My theory was getting deeper. If I was right, the case of Damien Dee would be the biggest controversy of the year.

"You..." I stiffened upon hearing a man's voice.

Was I caught?

Carefully, I turned around to face the man. My mind was quick at work as I tried to make alibis that could hopefully get me out of the situation. None of them could've prepared me for what I saw.

My eyes adjusted to the dark as it tried to see who the voice belonged to. Just then, the clouds moved and the light from the moon illuminated the place once more.

“You shouldn’t be here,”

His voice was a whisper yet I sensed how lethal it was—like a cold blade that ran from my nape down to the small of my back. Every inch of my skin shivered with his words.

Cold sweat dotted my forehead as I stood frozen in place. Half of my soul wanted to run as far away from him as possible but the other half stopped me.

“Y-You—,” I tried to make the words come out of my mouth but I couldn’t. It was like there’s this huge lump in my throat that hindered my breathing.

My mind couldn’t process what was happening.

It’s him. I knew it but I still couldn’t believe it.

Both of us were face to face in the dark, illuminated only by a glimpse of the silver moon behind the dark clouds. The little light helped make out the image I saw.

He stood in front of me, his hands at his sides. He held a shiny blade in his left palm tightly. He was clad in all black and the lower half of his face was covered up to below his eyes with what I could only assume was the same material as his clothes. The only color that stood out was his hair. Like the blade that he was holding, his silver hair that caught the moonlight made him look dangerous yet beautiful.

I couldn’t be mistaken, I knew who he was.

“Y-you are…” I forced the words out. “Are you the Reaper?” But it didn’t sound like a question.

I held my breath. Both of us stood in silence for what seemed like forever. I waited for him to say something.

“What if I am?”

Deep inside, I knew that I was right but I couldn't answer him.

For many months, I've been chasing him. I've done dozens of research about him and I've dreamt about the day that I would finally see him. I had so many questions in my mind that I wanted to ask him. But in that moment. my brain stopped functioning.

I stood on my place, my feet planted firmly on the ground.

The Reaper was the first to move.

He slowly circled me as if I was his prey. His eyes were fixated on me, watching my reaction every time his heels touched the ground.

My eyes darted to the blade he was holding. It glistened as if telling me that with just one move, its silver body could be covered in my crimson blood.

He didn't speak another word as he stood in front of me, as if waiting for me to utter the next words.

I swallowed, feeling that my throat was dry.

"I-I've been wanting to meet you," I stuttered. Those were the first words that came to my mind. "I... uhm... I don't think that you are a bad person like what the others say,"

He tilted his head to the side. I can't see his eyes under the shadow of his silver hair but I knew that he was looking at me.

He stayed like that for a few moments. Then he shook his head and turned his back to me. He started to walk away from me.

Was that it? Was he going to leave just like that?

"Wait!" I called to him. I wanted to go after him but I couldn’t. Aside from the fact that my ankle was once again hurting from standing for a long time, I still feared him. Despite my admiration for the Reaper, seeing him in front of me sent shivers down my spine.

I was somewhere in between awe and fear.

He stopped in his tracks but he didn't look back.

This was my chance.

"I have just one question," I stated. I waited for him to look my way but he didn't. "Did you kill Damien Dee?"

I held my breath as I waited for his answer. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears.

Instead of answering my question, the Reaper held one hand up and gave me one wave as goodbye before walking straight to the shadows.

I stood there looking in the darkness where he disappeared. I didn't get an answer to my question and that would haunt me for a long time.

I just met the Reaper but I didn't know what I felt.

It was the cold wind that woke my senses up and told me that I had to get out of the place before I get caught.

Limping, I headed for the entrance.

"Who's there?!" Panic struck me when I heard the voice of another man.

Not far from where I stood, the police guarding the place was running towards me.

I was torn between running away and staying to give my alibi when a gloved hand held mine and pulled me to run towards the shadows.

It pained to run on a twisted ankle but my instincts told me that I couldn’t afford to stop and get caught.

Even if I was in the dark, I knew that it was the Reaper who was running in front of me while holding my hand.

We stopped and hid behind a large container van.

I caught my breath and assessed the situation of my ankle. I have forced it to work despite of the sprain that I got. I knew that it would bite me in the ass in the near future.

But the more pressing matter right now was that I almost got caught by the police.

Never in my life had I been on the wrong side of the law. Well, that’s if you don't count the times I have trespassed in crime scenes with the help of my friends and paid someone to get me confidential file. My point was, I've never been chased by cops in my whole life.

That was like the highest level of breaking the law. It's like the big red sign that tells you that you've been a really, really bad person.

What did I get myself into?

And there was this huge thing about the guy who sat beside me. The Reaper was beside me and we were both touching shoulders as we hid in this little space.

Footsteps echoed as it came closer to us.

I held my breath and I knew that the Reaper did too.

The cop's footsteps were slow, as if he was waiting for us to come out.

There was a beeping sound. "I need a backup here. I think we have an intruder," the cop radioed.

"Copy that," the other person responded through a static sound.

More are coming?!

I couldn’t believe this.

"Shit," the Reaper hissed.

"We have to get out of here," that was stupid thing for me to say. Of course, he was thinking about getting out too. I hoped that he would take me with him. I don't want to get caught and thrown into jail.

The Reaper didn't say anything more. It appeared to me that he was devising a plan. He looked around and sometimes took a peek where we heard the cop was.

I didn't hear anymore footsteps. He was either already far from us, or was just on the other side of the container van, waiting for us to go out.

The anxiety was killing me.

As sudden as earlier, the Reaper gripped my hand and motioned for me to follow him.

It was hard to keep up with his every move with my injury but I tried my best to not weigh him down.

We reached another container van and hid behind it.

With his hand, he pointed to the stacks of metal crates a couple of meters away from us. I knew even without him talking that we had to head that way.

Between us and the metal crates, there was a couple of meters of open area which was illuminated by a light post.

The risk of us being seen and getting caught was very high but we had to move fast.

The Reaper suddenly faced me.

We were only a few inches away from each other and I thought that I could see a glimpse of his eyes under his silver hair.

A thought crossed my mind for a millisecond, Those eyes look familiar.

He reached up to me and I flinched. My heart beat loudly inside my chest. In a fraction of a second, my mind pictured a thousand scenes but all of them were not because of fear. No, it was far more than that.

He reached up to both sides of my head and pulled my hood lower to cover my eyes.

He then turned his back to me, held my hand again, and motioned for me to run as fast as I could towards the crates.

I took a deep breath and followed his lead.

It was only when we were almost halfway through the open space that the pain in my ankle worsened. I had to crouch down because of the pain.

We both stopped.

"Police! Stay where you are or I'll shoot!" We heard someone shout.

I looked up and saw the silhouette of a man that I assumed was also a cop but was different from the first one. He was far from us but his voice echoed.

Even if I saw only his shadow, I knew that he was pointing a gun at us. One wrong move and he could shoot us or worse, kill us.

"You can't be caught," I told the Reaper, urging him to go.

He was the most wanted person in Sunshine City. If he gets caught, he'd be in deeper trouble. I, on the other hand...

I can handle myself.

He let go of my hand, but instead of running away, he held my waist and swung me up and over his shoulder.

"What are you–" I didn't get to finish. My world was upside down and I was facing his back.

I couldn't see anything but I felt him start to run once again.

Shots fired in all directions, almost deafening me. I heard him grunt in pain and I thought that one bullet might've found its way to him but I don't know where he was hit.

The last thing I remembered was a blow to the back of my head. Then, everything else was a blur until I lost consciousness.

//

"We can't retrieve it. Everything's destroyed," the landlord remarked as he shook his head.

He was sitting inside his office and the destroyed surveillance cameras were on his desk.

Everyone panicked when they heard that someone broke the CCTV cameras installed around the apartment building. The owner suspected that it was a bunch of kids who pretended that they were a gang of members. Besides, it wasn't’ the first time that something like this happened in our neighborhood.

I went to the landlord’s office and pretended that I was concerned about the accident that happened in the apartment building when in fact, I just wanted to know if he caught the Reaper in the surveillance cameras.

This morning I woke up inside my apartment. I was in tucked safely in my bed. My ankle was attended to and dressed and there was a bandage on the back of my head.

I couldn't remember anything after I lost consciousness last night but I knew that it was the Reaper who took me back to my place.

He was too careful that he even destroyed the cameras that lead to where my apartment was.

He didn't leave any trace of him.

If not for the painful remembrance that my ankle and my head got, I would've thought that he was only a dream.

I visited a doctor to have the bump on my head checked. I thought that it would have some serious complication but I was told that it was just a simple bump and wound.

Strangely, I was complimented because as per the nurse, I dressed my wound and my sprain well. She even asked if I was a nurse. I just told her that a friend did it for me. Of course, I couldn’t tell her who it really was.

Even if I was not confined, I was told to take a rest because my sprain was badly abused and it became worse than how sprains were supposed to be.

So, I spent my days inside my apartment, in bed.

I tried to write the draft for my novel about the Reaper but my mind kept on being bothered whenever I remembered what happened that night.

Before, he was only a name that I knew. The Reaper was just a figure that everyone talked about. Even then, he already had so much effect on me. Seeing him real and in the flesh was both fascinating and scary. It was like your childhood superhero coming to life. And there was the fact that he didn't leave me there like what I told him.  It made me want to know the person behind the Reaper not only for the sake of my research but also because I want to understand why he decided to be a vigilante.

There were so many things going on in my mind that I forgot that I was actually looking for my neighbor because I wanted to share what I have gathered with her.

She was the only friend that I have in Sunshine City and I knew that she would love to have the details that I have except, of course, about that bit where I actually came face to face with the Reaper.

I am not even sure if I would tell her about it.

Saturday afternoon, I woke up from a long nap because of a knock on my door.

I didn't expect that I would find my neighbor there, good thing that she dropped by.

I was so excited to tell her about my findings but I didn't want to overwhelm her so I just let her speak first as we sat down in my living room. I didn't know that I was the one who's going to be shocked by her revelations.

Apparently, she investigated about the Damien Dee case behind her boyfriend's back.

I was honestly impressed because she knew how to find ways that didn't require her to use her savings unlike someone I know.

She told me about how she interviewed Dee's ex-secretary, someone named Seo Eunkwang. Contrary to what everyone believed, a secretary is the best person to ask about their own bosses. They’re like flies on the wall. They witness things that their boss does that other people don't know. They know their boss like the back of their hands.

As expected, Damien Dee was really a scum of Sunshine City. Aside from harassing and terrorizing people who owed him, the guy was also involved in an alleged rape case.

The secretary didn't witness the rape but he knew what happened behind closed doors.

Damien Dee was a clear target for the Reaper. But still...

“There’s something about him that bothers me though,” she uttered, referring to Eunkwang.

The sun was almost fully set but it was getting dark so I had to turn on the lights.

We sat on opposite sides of my couch with a mug of coffee in our hands like we always do when we hung out.

"What do you mean?" I placed my mug on the coffee table, curious as to what she would answer. She's a smart person. If she noticed something, then I knew that it wasn't just a simple thing.

She was silent for a few seconds, she looked down at nothing in particular as if trying to remember the conversation he had with Eunkwang, Dee's secretary.

"When I first met him," she started, "he struck me as someone who's timid and who'd rather stay quiet and not get involved in any kind of conflict. I mean, I had a hard time getting him to talk to me about his previous boss. But, something about him changed when we he said that Damien deserved what he got."

Those words again. I was suddenly reminded of what I overheard in the alley of a restaurant.

I pushed it out of my mind.

"He was okay at the start of our conversation," she continued. "He was a bit shaky like he was nervous. But when as he said those words, his voice was cold. It's as if he wasn't telling me those words, it's as if he was convincing himself. It's like I was talking to a different person. I was honestly scared,"

I pictured everything that she just told me in my mind. A thought came to me, something that had been lingering in my mind but had been fueled by my friend's experience.

"This might sound weird," I started. "I just got a crazy theory while I was reading the Reaper's files the past week–"

"What files?"

Oh, damn! I was going to show her those.

"Wait here, I'll go and get it." I stood up and limped to my room.

"I forgot to ask," she called to me before I stepped inside my room. I stopped and looked back. "What happened to you?" She asked, gesturing to my ankle and the bandage on the back of my head.

I trespassed inside the scene of the crime, met the Reaper, and I broke myself.

I shrugged. "I fell of the stairs," just that and I turned back to head inside my room.

A couple of minutes passed and once she got over the shock of seeing the confidential files spread on my coffee table,  I told her about my theory.

I told her about the possibility that the killer might not be the Reaper. That it was possible that it was a copycat killer who staged the crime like it was one of his works.

What gave me that idea was the Pheasant's Eye's petals.

I've read in the autopsy reports of his previous victims that the petals were found down the throat, past the epiglottis.

There were notes from the coroner that said that the petals might have been shoved down the victims’ throats while they were still alive. As their throats were slit and they struggled for breath, the petals were inhaled down.

But that wasn't the case with Dee's death. Aside from the blow at the back of his head, which didn't occur in the Reaper's other victims, the petals were found just past the tongue. This could mean that he was already dead when the petals where shoved inside his mouth.

She didn't react at first when I told her about this and I thought that maybe she thought I was just being biased. Even I, myself, thought my mind was just clouded.

But instead of dismissing my thought, she considered my theory. More than that, she told me about her little adventure down the morgue.

She saw Damien Dee's corpse!

I would kill to have that opportunity. Figuratively.

"There were cuts that were sloppy," she remarked as if we are just talking about an ordinary afternoon topic and not the body of a victim. "At first glance, you would think that it was the same as the ones found on the other victims: precise and clean cuts. But Dee's cuts on his Achilles' Heels and armpits, as well as the one on his throat were so poorly done. It’s either the killer was in a hurry or he was nervous,"

"But why didn't the police notice this?" I wondered. "I don't see them changing their statement that there is a possibility that it wasn’t the Reaper. Everyone still thinks that it was him,"

I sounded like I was defending an innocent man, I just realized.

"Maybe they did notice it," she noted. "Maybe they’re still looking for solid evidence to prove that there is a copycat killer before releasing a public statement,"

I didn't say anything. She's right.

What she said solidified the thought in my mind. Someone else killed Damien Dee and there was a possibility that it could be one of the people he victimized.

But why was the Reaper in the scene of the crime that night? Was he also wondering who used his name to kill someone? Was he against the death of that scum?

We spent hours exchanging ideas and planning.

We both decided that we would conduct our own individual investigation. Our curiosity wouldn't let us sleep. Both of us needed to know the truth.

As the night grew, I said good night to my friend.

After closing the door behind me, I noticed that the window blinds were still open. I went to it and looked out at the bright moon in the sky.

It wasn't as bright and as full as that night but it still reminded me of him.

I only caught a glimpse of his eyes for a fraction of a second but the image was already etched in my mind.

It's like I could still feel him looking at me.

Before I closed the blinds, my eyes wandered down the street directly in front of my apartment building.

I thought it was just my imagination. Maybe it was.

If my eyes were a little better, maybe I could've seen him.

Maybe I wasn't just imagining a figure in a black hood hiding in the shadows as he looked up to my window. His silver hair stood out as it caught the moon's light.

No one can tell how these murders would affect people, their mindsets, and, ultimately, their actions once killing for one’s own justice becomes a widely accepted norm in this city.

It wasn’t something I wanted. While, yes, the victims were terrible and downright horrible human beings, there should be other methods to bring justice aside from death. After all, the end does not always justify the means. As I lay there on my bed, I’ve strengthened my resolve to work harder and faster in uncovering who the Reaper is.

Well, the only problem was the lack of substantial information that my boyfriend wouldn’t share with me. A sigh escaped my lips when I realized that I couldn’t do anything more unless I get my hands on the confidential files that the police were keeping. I have no idea how I’d get them without extracting the files directly from Minhyuk’s laptop.

A wave of dread washed over me when I thought about him and how I barely saw him during the week. It wasn’t that he was too busy; it was because I was too focused on getting Eunkwang to talk. While I did get some interesting and probably valuable information, I should’ve tried to balance my priorities too. There was no use crying over spilt milk though. To somehow make it up to him, I hurriedly got up and prepared to give him a visit.

//

The station was in its usual state despite it being a Saturday: officers and detectives weaving through the maze of tables, some with stacks of papers and some talking in hush tones on their phones. There were civilians too. Some of the officers whom I’ve talked with before nodded at me before turning back to what they were doing. After maneuvering through people, I finally found him seated by his desk.

I couldn’t help but frown while I studied him from where I stood. It was only about a week since I last saw him but it seemed like he aged quite a bit. To anyone else, they would probably quickly attribute his appearance to stress but to me, it seemed like he was carrying the whole world on his shoulders. He was a bit slumped forward on his seat, his elbow propped up on the table while his fingers were massaging the bridge of his nose. I didn’t have to be in front of him to know that a deep frown was etched on his face.

Quietly, I sat on the chair in front of his desk. I don’t know how long I sat there but he didn’t notice me until I asked, “What’s up?”

“Huh?” He mumbled in surprise when he finally looked at me.

It was only a brief moment but I saw a somewhat dazed look in his eyes, as if I pulled him out of his deep thoughts. Minhyuk seemed as if he was trying to pull himself back to reality and the moment he was able to, he uttered my name as he deeply exhaled.

“Sorry. I was just thinking about the case,” he explained.

I had to stop myself from sighing. The last time I spoke to him and asked what was bothering him, it was the same thing: thinking about the case. Deep inside, there was a nagging feeling that was pushing me to ask more—to pry for further information that wasn’t necessarily about the case. I’ve seen him work hard over something but he was never like this. He never looked so lost and so deep in thought about a case before.

I know that this Reaper case has been taking a toll on him but something in me was saying that maybe, there was something else in his mind. I wanted to ask but I had to bite back my tongue. I had to convince myself that he’d tell me about it when he was ready. Or maybe, I was over thinking. So, I just hummed and nodded my head.

“Are you okay though?” I genuinely asked, looking at his exhausted features. He appeared like he hasn’t had any sleep lately.

“Just tired,” Minhyuk smiled a bit to probably reassure me that he was fine but even his smile seemed so forced. At the same time, his hand held mine that was casually resting on top of his desk before squeezing it reassuringly. He didn’t let go even when he asked, “What brought you here? I thought that you’d be resting today. You seemed really busy over the week.”

There it was again, the feeling of guilt.

I just smiled, causing him to chuckle.

“You missed me, didn’t you?” Minhyuk teased. “Well, for the record, I missed you too,”

I scrunched my nose at how cheesy that was. “I also wanted to check on you. I know work’s been difficult. I wanted to see if you were fine,”

He heavily sighed as his gaze shifted to the side. “It’s… difficult,” he frowned before continuing, “but I just need to keep on moving forward.”

“Don’t push yourself too hard,” I muttered, making him playfully flick me on the forehead.

“I think you’re the one who shouldn’t be pushing herself too hard,” he said. “I barely heard from you and whenever I did, it’d just be the moment you’d tell me that you got home safely at almost 11 in the evening,” Minhyuk shook his head while I did my best not to frown.

There was a pang in my chest. I couldn’t tell him that it was because I was trying to get information from someone about Damien Dee. I couldn’t let him know that from Monday to Friday, I had been waiting for Eunkwang to get off of work just so I could get him to open up about the victim to me. I knew it wasn’t my place to go around to interview people about a sensitive case. I also knew that he’d be pissed off the moment he knew what I did.

So, I just shrugged and lied, “Sorry. The chief has been assigning too many things.” Those words left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth.

He just nodded his head, buying my lie. “Right, before I forget again. Have you met with your neighbor recently? I was supposed to tell you that she dropped by the station a week ago but it slipped from my mind. I guess it was urgent; she looked like she needed to talk with you,”

“She went here?” I raised a brow before I shook my head. “I was so caught up in work that I didn’t even realize that she wanted to talk with me. I met her in the hallway once this week but I was in a hurry that I just apologized to her,”

I felt terrible. First, my boyfriend and now, my neighbor. I do recall how disappointed she looked when I gave her a quick apology while I was rushing to leave. Maybe I need to stop letting my own investigation of the case run my life because it was causing me to neglect the people around me.

“Sorry,” I sighed. “It’s just work and everything. But… I’ll check on her later today and let her know what you said about her coming here. Anyway,” I smiled as I raised an insulated lunch bag. “I brought us lunch. I thought you might be hungry,”

I felt that the short time we spent together was a much needed one. I didn’t want to leave. If possible, I would’ve stayed until he finished but I knew he wouldn’t be able to work with me there. He wouldn’t dare open the confidential files in front of me. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust me but it was just him being cautious. Besides, I had to talk to my neighbor and apologize too for always missing.

Now that I thought about it, the last time I had a full conversation with her was at the pier on the day that the body was found. It’s been two weeks since then. The realization added weight to my chest as I exited the station.

Due to the numerous times I’ve been to and fro Minhyuk’s workplace and my home, I didn’t have to think too hard to find my way home. It was as if my feet had lives of their own as my mind wandered off to the talk I had with Eunkwang.

We settled ourselves in the coffee shop that I stayed at while waiting for him. Neither of us ordered anything from the counter, probably because we both wanted to get this done and over with.

“Can you give me an overview of what Damien Dee did? As far as I know, he owned a loaning business,” I started, wanting to know a little more about the victim before delving into his death.

He sighed, still looking hesitant about talking to me. He pinched the bridge of his nose before directly stating, “He’s a loan shark. The business he ran trapped a lot of people in debt. Only a few of them were able to get out of it. Most of the people who loaned from him never recovered.”

“Because of his rates?”

Eunkwang nodded. “Yes, but there were others who never recovered from what he had done to them. To him, they were all below him. Because of their debt, he knew how to play with them—he knew how to threaten them into doing what he wanted,”

I felt cold due to the revelation of the kind of person Damien Dee was.

“How long did you work for him?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“Around 5 years,” Eunkwang responded regretfully.

“But you never reported him to the police?”

He shook his head. “I’d probably be dead by now if I did,”

I observed him as he said those words. Frankly, I wasn’t surprised that he never said anything to the police. In the days that I was trying to get him to talk to me about Damien Dee, I had a feeling that he was the type of person who would rather stay silent than get in trouble for revealing information. It was probably why Damien chose him as a secretary. He knew that this man wouldn’t spill about the horrendous things he had done.

“Then the case he had before at court was true? The prosecutor let him go despite the charges to him?”

It was a trial that happened years before the Reaper appeared in Sunshine City. He was being tested in court for rape. It was a big case and everyone had their eyes on him. There were cries of protest from some citizens when he was declared not guilty due to lack of evidence. He continued on with his business as if nothing had happened.

Remorsefully, Eunkwang nodded once. “The victim is the daughter of one his debtors. I still remember her asking—pleading—for him to stop increasing the interest rate on her father’s debt,” he mumbled, his hands clenched into fists. “But there were other acts that were never brought to court,”

A heavy sigh passed through my lips. Based on that case, Damien Dee seemed like a likely target for the Reaper. The question is, why now when the case had been closed? Why did he still go after him? Why did the Reaper do it so closely to his previous kill?

Unless…

I shook my head.

“Do you know anyone from his client list who would have the capability of killing him in such a way?” I questioned, wanting to get back on track.

“Capability of being the Reaper, you mean?” Eunkwang sighed before shaking his head. “Everyone was too afraid to go against him,”

I couldn’t say I wasn’t disappointed. He was my only lead but it seemed like I was heading straight into a dead end.

“But who knows. Maybe he had pushed someone to their limit,” he darkly uttered. “It was only a matter of time until the things he had done would come back to him,”

“What do you mean?” I was caught off guard by his sudden statement.

Eunkwang’s cold gaze met my curious one. I almost shivered at how differently he looked. It was as if the person sitting in front of me was a different man. Where was the guy who had kept on turning me down the past few days?

“What I meant was he deserved it,” he icily stated. “For all the terrible things he had done, he deserved the death that came to him,”

I pursed my lips, taking into account the words he had just said. Even when we had parted ways, the words would keep on playing in my head. The coldness in his eyes continued to flash in my mind as I walked home.

He deserved it.

He deserved the death that came to him.

It was all just speculation in my head. While it seemed like a far-fetched theory, it wasn’t impossible. Based on his tone and the look in his eyes, I couldn’t help but wonder about the possibility.

“Sorry,” the word tumbled out of my mouth when I found myself stepping back after colliding with something or someone. I had just been pulled out of my thoughts when I heard the same statement being directed at me.

In front of me stood a man who was a couple of inches taller. He had his head down and the shadow of his hood hid most of his features. He probably had the hood up because the sun was quite high up in the sky.

“Sorry again. I wasn’t paying attention,” I said more sincerely than my first apology.

The stranger gave a small smile and a nod before leaving. I kept my gaze on him until he was a couple of meters away. When I faced forward, I realized that I had stopped in front of the apartment complex.

“Huh,” I mumbled, shrugged, and made my way up to my floor. Instead of heading straight to my unit, I went to my neighbor’s and knocked.

I could only hope that she was home. I really felt terrible for not being around for a long while for her. I know it’s been a while since she had moved in so I’m sure she had gotten more acquainted with how Sunshine City worked. But part of me still worried about her. What if she had gotten herself into trouble because she was caught snooping around for information about the Reaper? After all, that was probably what she had been doing during the time I wasn’t able to see her.

When she didn’t respond immediately, I tried knocking again while calling her name and feeling a little worried. Maybe she isn’t home, I thought to calm myself down. I was about to give up and head to my unit when I heard the lock slide and the door click open.

A relieved sigh passed my lips when I saw her looking well. Although I did note how bored she initially looked. It was as if she had been locked inside her unit for days. When I glanced down, I realized that maybe she truly stayed home. Her foot was wrapped in a bandage.

I was going to ask about it but she let out a huge sigh.

“Finally,” she said a little exaggeratedly. “I thought you died. Every time I knocked on your door, you were out. Where have you been? Do you know how worried I was? I even had to—,”

“Do you mind if I come in?” I chuckled, amused by how she was fussing around. It was refreshing, to be honest. It was kind of like a change of pace from the heaviness of the case I was trying to follow.

“Huh? Of course. What are you still doing outside anyway?” She shook her head at me and walked—limped—into her apartment.

She led me to the couch and brewed coffee for us. I insisted to help her but she kept on telling me to sit and that she’d handle it. While I was waiting for her, I was thinking if I should immediately tell her about what I’ve been doing the past few days or if I should ask her what had happened to her foot first. However, she made the decision for me because the moment she sat down after handing me the mug, she asked,

“What have you been up to? I feel like it’s been years since I last saw you.”

I pursed my lips. “Well… The thing is,” I trailed off before explaining to her that I’ve been trying to interview Eunkwang about Damien Dee. The moment I said the victim’s name, her eyes had widened and she leaned a little forward.

As someone who was trying to dig up information about the Reaper, I’m sure that she was looking forward to what I was going to say. Maybe she thought that I had a lead to the vigilante’s identity. Sadly, I didn’t but there was something important that I wanted to share with her.

I carefully explained to her how the interview went. I made sure not to leave any detail about what kind of person Damien Dee was and how he had treated those who owed him debts. While I was telling her about how he had exercised his power over those people, I noticed how her eyes burned with resentment towards the man.

Still, she listened intently until the end.

“There’s something about him that bothers me though,” I uttered while referring to Eunkwang. I was biting my lip as I recalled Eunkwang’s cold eyes and tone.

I shared with her how Eunkwang struck me as a person. I told her about how, initially, he seemed like the kind of person who would even dare hurt a fly or spill someone’s darkest secrets to just about anyone. The theory that I had thought of was once again bouncing around in my brain.

What if Eunkwang was the one who had killed Damien Dee?

Does that mean he’s the Reaper?

No, not necessarily. But I didn’t want to dwell on that idea so I pushed it to the back of my head once again as I recalled to my neighbor about what I observed. Her response to me threw me off guard that I didn’t realize that I had answered her in a clipped tone.

“What files?”

I was surprised when she told me that she had thought of a theory while she was reading the Reaper’s files. Could those be the police reports that I couldn’t get my hands on? If so, then how did she get them?

Before I could question her about it, she had started limping her way to her bedroom where she probably kept it. We were so focused on the topic of the case that I had forgot to ask her about it earlier.

“What happened to you?” I called out and pointed to her bandaged foot when she turned to look at me. It was only then that I also noticed that she had a bandage on the back of her head.

“I fell off the stairs,” she nonchalantly responded before continuing to her bedroom. I wanted to ask more, not fully believing her story, but it seemed like she didn’t want to talk about it.

When she came back, she handed me a thick envelope. I carefully took out the contents. I’m sure shock was painted all over my face as I thumbed through the documents: police reports, victim profiles, suspect profile, evidences, autopsy reports, everything. I quickly browsed through them, noting some of the details that I didn’t know before and counterchecking the ones that I did know from my own digging around.

“Okay,” I nodded, still feeling a little bit of shock. “Wow. Thanks for showing me these. So, the theory you thought of?”

“I think there’s more to Dee’s death than what meets the eye. I think that the person who killed him might not be the Reaper,” she firmly stated.

The theory I had just dismissed came back to my mind. What if the person who had killed Damien Dee was not the Reaper?

I urged her to continue. I wanted to know what had led her to think that way.

“There’s something about Dee’s case that I found different compared to the other victims aside from the obvious blow on the back of his head. You know how the Reaper leaves his trace, right? The petals of the Pheasant’s Eye? In the older autopsy reports, they found those in the victims’ throat, past their epiglottis. But for Damien Dee, they were just a little past his tongue,” she explained.

I was reminded of the x-ray copies that I was studying at work after I had met with Gia at the morgue. It was something I had noticed too but I didn’t dwell too much on that fact at that moment even if there were quite a few differences between Damien Dee and the other victims.

“I think that for the previous victims, those flowers had been stuffed in their mouths before they had died. The reason why they were in the throat was because they were gasping for air after their throats had been slit,”

She didn’t have to further explain for me to complete the puzzle in my head but I still listed to her words when she concluded that in the case of Damien Dee, he was dead when the flowers were placed in his mouth.

I licked my lips as I felt them start to get dry at how our discussion was going. What she said made complete sense and it might also explain what I had noticed back in the morgue.

“I think there’s something else that’s amiss in this case,” I sighed, looking at her wearily. “I was able to sneak into the morgue, thanks to a friend of mine. I was able to compare the body of Damien Dee to the other victims,”

Her mouth had opened a bit in surprise. “What? When? Wait. Never mind that. What did you see?”

“There were cuts that were sloppy,” I recalled, images of the bodies flashing in my mind, and explained which parts were sloppy. In the photos, it wouldn’t easily be seen as different. It could have been attributed to a slight shake of the murderer’s hand. But with the theory that was brewing in our minds, the difference was starting to make sense.

“It’s either the killer was in a hurry or he was nervous,” I said while thinking, ‘If it was the Reaper, then he shouldn’t have been in a hurry nor feel nervous.’

Those two probable reasons for the sloppy cuts couldn’t be pinned to the Reaper. Then that could only mean that it was possible that her theory was correct; Damien Dee’s assailant wasn’t the Reaper but someone else. Whoever that was thought that a copycat kill would be enough to pin the death on the vigilante.

I wasn’t surprised when my neighbor had questioned the police for not noticing those differences and if they did, for not changing their statement about the whole ordeal.

I pursed my lips. “Maybe they did notice it,” I told her. I’m sure they did. I’m sure Minhyuk did. After all, he had been working on this case for years. Maybe that was why he had told me to keep out of this case. Maybe because he was speculating that it was someone else who was responsible for the loan shark’s death. “Maybe they’re still looking for solid evidence to prove that there is a copycat killer before releasing a public statement,” I mumbled.

Of course, they couldn’t just release that there was another killer on the loose. That would most likely cause panic amongst the people of Sunshine City.

There was too much to digest from our discussion but I was glad that we were able to share with each other such crucial details. We had agreed to continue doing our own investigation about this possible copycat killer and started to plan how we would go about it.

Neither of us noticed the time until one of us had stretched because we had been sitting around for hours. Even if we were both filled with curiosity, we knew we had to call it a night. Our brains were close to being fried due to extensive brainstorming.

However, I still couldn’t sleep. I kept on walking around my unit, looking for something to distract me from my thoughts about the discussion earlier. It was like my brain was still running on overdrive.

It seemed like the universe heard my wish because someone was knocking on my door a minute later. I thought that it was my neighbor who wanted to share something else but I was surprised to see Minhyuk through the door’s peephole. He had a small duffle bag on his shoulder and a white recyclable bag in his hand. I noticed that he wasn’t wearing what he wore earlier today. Quickly, I unlocked the door.

“Hey,” he gave a small smile when he saw me. “Dinner?” He raised the white bag and I couldn’t help but smile as I moved to give him way to enter.

I didn’t realize how hungry I was until he had unpacked the takeaway food that he brought. It was from one the Chinese restaurants around the corner. We had settled ourselves in my living room and ate while watching a rerun of a television series we used to watch. The two of us would chuckle and comment on the different scenes. It was a good distraction but it didn’t fully take my mind off the copycat killer theory.

I could feel my heart pounding as I sat there beside him, the words threatening to spill out of my mouth. I wanted to ask him about it. I wanted to know his thoughts about that possible theory but I was scared of how he’d react. He made it clear before that I should stop but…

I bit down on my lip as I thought long and hard about what I should do.

By this point, we had finished eating. I had made myself comfortable against his side with his arm draped around my shoulder. Usually, my head would be clear and I’d be relaxed but today, I couldn’t rest well.

I had to say it.

“Minhyuk,” I softly called, glancing up at him.

“Hm?” He hummed as he turned towards me. He had his eyebrows slightly raised as he expectantly waited for me to continue.

Minhyuk looked so relaxed and I couldn’t help but feel that I was going to ruin that. I didn’t notice that I had been staring at him for a while until he had called my name and asked if I was okay. No, I wasn’t okay. I felt terrible.

In my head, I kept on chanting, I’m sorry.

“I,” I mumbled as I sat up properly. My hands played with the hem of my shirt as I tried to construct the words in my head. My eyes would meet his concerned gaze repeatedly because I couldn’t keep eye contact with him. I felt like I was going to explode due to apprehension.

He sighed, a frown pulling down the corners of his lips a bit, as he took my hands in his. He would squeeze them a bit to provide some sort of comfort and support while he waited for me to talk.

“I want to ask you something,” I breathed out, finally plucking the courage to speak up. I finally looked at him straight in the eyes and didn’t look away. “Do you think that it’s possible that someone else other than the Reaper killed Damien Dee?”

As I said those words, I watched how his expression change from concerned to cold. Even his hands that had exuded warmth felt cold as they held mine. A hint of anger and disappointment passed through his eyes. With every second that he kept silent, I could feel my heart dropping. I wanted to look away and hide my face but I kept my gaze on him even when he withdrew his hands.

He uttered my name in exasperation and annoyance. Minhyuk ran one of his hands through his hair in an attempt to calm his nerves. It was a gesture of his that I was completely familiar with.

“Didn’t I tell you to stop trying to dig around?” He didn’t yell but I felt like he had yelled at me. Even if his voice was cool and collected, I felt his anger. Somehow, part of me preferred that he just screamed at me.

“I was just wondering,”

He huffed in irritation, his nostrils flared. “You wouldn’t have been wondering if you had stopped. So, what did you do this time? Dig around the victim’s house? Revisit the pier? What?”

I flinched at his accusatory tone. I couldn’t even explain myself because he had started talking again. I looked down at my lap, my hands back to clenching at the hem of my shirt.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t want you to get involved anymore? Stop meddling in my work because I don’t meddle with yours! I already have enough on my plate, I don’t need you to add even more to it,”

“I just want to help, okay?” I tried to defend myself and my actions. “You’ve been so caught up in work. You look like you haven’t been resting well. I keep worrying about you so I just thought that maybe I could help you. I know you told me to stop but how do I when I see you so tired? I just wanted to ease the burden on you,”

Minhyuk shook his head. “Don’t make this about me,” he seethed. “Stop trying to get in the way of my work,”

I had no more words because I’ve been swallowed by my own guilt. He was right. I was probably getting in his way. I was meddling in a field that wasn’t mine. Was I really trying to help him or was I trying to chase a dream that used to be mine?

“I’m heading home,” he icily stated after a few moments of silence as he stood. I could only follow his movements with my gaze. I watched as he picked the used containers and threw them in the bin. I kept my eyes on him as he took his bag, ready to leave.

I wanted to tell him not to leave—to beg him to stay—because I couldn’t take that we would be ending the conversation this way. It didn’t settle well with me that he’d be walking out of the door with this kind of tension between us. However, I stayed glued on the couch. I couldn’t say anything. It was like my lips were sewn shut.

He stopped just before he reached the door and turned his head a bit to the side to glance at me. His lips were pursed, his eyes remorseful. However, I knew he stood by the words he had said. He wanted me out of this case no matter what.

Foolishly, I hoped that he would turn around and stay so that we could talk about the matter more calmly. But he just shook his head and left without a word. The room felt colder when the click of the door reached my ears.

I heavily sighed, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders, before falling back on the couch. The dull ceiling seemed much more interesting than the thoughts in my head. His words kept on playing in my mind. His expressions flashed every time I closed my eyes.

Anger. Disappointment. Pain.

As I lay there, all I could think of was, Is this still worth it?

One last chuckle passed your lips as you apologized. “Stop rubbing your eye. Let me do it,” you sighed, finally walking up to him. He stood a little taller than you so you had to push yourself up a little on your tiptoes. Gently, you held his wrist and tugged it down, effectively stopping him from rubbing his eye any further. Both of his eyes were tightly shut so you asked him to open them.

“But,” he mumbled like a kid before complying.

Carefully, your free hand pulled down a little on his lower eyelid before softly blowing to get rid of the speck of dust that got into his eye.

“Better?” The word came out in a whisper and you had no idea why you spoke in such a manner. Somehow, it just felt that the air around you both would be ruined if your voice was a little louder.

He blinked for a few times before his gaze met yours. You hadn’t stepped back and you were still standing on the tips of your toes.

For the first time, you held your breath in front of him. You never noticed how captivating his eyes were until that moment. For the first time since you both had met, your heart raced at the sight of him.

Too oblivious due to your own thoughts, you never noticed how his eyes had widened as well.

“I…” He mumbled, snapping you both out of whatever it was that seemed to have trapped you two.

Immediately, you took a step back and a deep breath. Thoughts kept on running in your mind as you tried to assess what had just happened. You knew that weird feeling in your chest. You also knew why you held your breath. Despite the signs, you brushed it off.

It was probably nothing.

“All better?” You asked again, smiling and pretending that nothing transpired.

“Y-Yeah,” he nodded and smile a bit in return. By the look in his eyes, he seemed a little troubled by the scenario from earlier.

It’s probably nothing, you thought again.

“You really have to be careful,” you scolded him playfully. “I won’t always be around to blow the dust from your eye Eunkwang,”

Eunkwang softly laughed before lightly shoving you. “Yes, mom,” he teased.

You smiled, Yeah. It’s probably nothing.

That was what you had told yourself. It was nothing. That was enough to convince you to push the short moment to the back of your mind.

For a while, it stopped bothering you. Truth be told, you had completely forgotten all about that exchange until you once again found yourself holding your breath in front of him.

In your head, his face seemed so close to yours when it actually wasn’t. It was probably the surprise that made you think that way. You were peacefully enjoying the cup of ice cream that you bought when you noticed that his hand moved towards you and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. With doe eyes, you looked at him and noticed the small curve on his mouth.

Your heart drummed in a similar way to the time you had buried in your mind.

Eunkwang, knowing your never-ending love for the frozen treat, shared with you a newly opened creamery near your office and offered to go with you after work. That was how you found yourself in your current situation.

You were at a loss for words. Once again, your lips were slightly parted as you watched him.

“Your hair was getting into the cup,” he explained but deep inside, you felt that there was something else behind those words and behind the smile on his lips.

“O-Oh,” you stammered. His amused laugh rang in your ears causing you to blush. You never stuttered nor stumbled on your words with him but now, you felt at a loss.

Curious eyes watched Eunkwang. Your mind was once again filled with different thoughts.

It’s probably nothing, that was what you initially thought. But now, as you stood in front of him and watched as he enjoyed the cup of ice cream, you couldn’t help but wonder.

Was it really nothing?

You snapped out of your thoughts when he had called your name. He was still donning that smile on his lips. His eyes sparkled as he looked at you.

“Your ice cream’s going to melt if you keep on spacing out,” Eunkwang teased.

“R-Right,” you chuckled. “I knew that,” you tried to redeem yourself as you tried not to blush. You knew by the glint in his eyes that he caught you staring at him. You focused on the frozen treat in your hands. As you stuffed your mouth with the cold dessert, you couldn’t help but smile.