Long Away

there are a lot of Extremely Married moments in good omens, but I maintain that the Most Married moment is when crowley says out of nowhere, “ducks! they’re what water slides off.” and aziraphale heaves a deeply put-upon sigh and says, “….just drive the car.”

a close runner up is when Aziraphale wants to do magic at Warlock’s birthday party and Crowley just goes, “Make you disappear”, and Aziraphale’s not put out in the slightest

and third place goes to “Oh Lord, heal this bike”

“Not you, I know what you smell like.”

the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.

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for the rest of the week I FEEL SPANISH 🥘🍷🇪🇸

You show a cat something and they're like sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff ooooh I understand now. Don't care

Reblog this and tell me what was your biggest crying over a piece of fiction. You can be vague if you don't want to spoil.

every fleetwood mac documentary i've ever watched is like "the band was at the height of their success, enjoying the fame rolling in from their #1 hit 'i know about the other woman, lindsey'. however, nobody could have sensed the tension brewing between members."

"the group initially disbanded immediately after the release of the single 'well get the fuck out if you're going to be like that', leaving thousands of fans shocked."

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Hey, no homo, but I am sitting on the broken swing set out back in the perfect, quiet, 2:00am blackness and picturing the softness of your voice and the darkness of your eyes with such perfect and terrible clarity that it feels like I'm choking on my own heartbeat.

Now I'm eating croutons straight out of the bag.

Still no homo ?

I'm gonna level with you, friend: I am eating these croutons gay style.

they don't really use pet names when they're around other people but their teammates learn very quickly that there is ilya (positive) and ilya (negative) and rozanov (fuck yeah that was fucking gorgeous) and rozanov (if you do not shut the fuck up immediately i swear to fucking good) and shane (adoring) and shane (sad) and hollander (that's how you fucking do it!) and hollander (sit your fucking ass down or we will have a problem) and these distinctions are way more important to keep track of than the five times a month hollander calls cap "baby" and cap's face goes all sappy