secret diary

i am nuts deep in a thc induced manic state of mind releasing my upmost inner thoughts of my brain blessed with an overactive amygdala created with a purpose to be excellent at taking the night shifts watching the cave campfire while my neanderthal family is sleeping. this firewatching caveman brain i have does not fit in with the climate today.

i am very high at this moment

i think this urge to collect different belongings stems from me finding it really fascinating when people have jewlery or something inherited from their dead relatives. It’s something that i couldn’t get because my parents immigrated to a new country without being able to bring anything.

i wanna do this thing where i leave a mark on everything i own that i love, like my favorite shelf, chair or my different trinkets. then when i die when all my belongings that ive cultiviated through my whole life gets into secondhand stores or antique shops or whatever, there will always be a part of me connected to my belongings and in that way i will live forever. my own little mark in life. it would be fun if the new strangers that bought my chair saw my mark and wondered about it. i think this is why i love buying secondhand stuff. i love wondering about who the person who owned this thing before me was